We've got Movie Sign! [Open]

[zouichi.livejournal.com]

Deep from the dank, dark bowels of the Media Library... IT CAME! FROM THE CELLULOID!

Five terrible movies guaranteed to give you CHILLS! THRILLS! Or maybe just, I dunno, a vague sense that the universe has wronged you somehow and you want several hours of your life back.

Today, anyone walking into this particular Sensorium would be greeted by the sight of a late 20th century darkened movie theatre, playing a quintuple-feature consisting of old Earth movies that were honestly not very good. At the bottom of the seating area was some dude giving out free popcorn, candy, and drinks.

Howard, Zouichi, Allenby, and Jr. were around, and anyone else was welcome to walk in and join in.

[each of the movies is listed below, just tag in wherever you want. I put a small link in each movie's post so you can have some idea of what the movie is about, although honestly I would say that the movies themselves often do not actually know what they are about. All threads are open unless labeled 'closed'.

P.S. I'M SO SORRY I SHOULD HAVE PUT THIS UP EARLIER]

Comments

Super Mario Bros: The Movie

[cityship]

[trailer here]

Re: Super Mario Bros: The Movie

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Howard's never been the Nintendo type. He always gravitated more towards arcade games and Playstation, indulging in a steady diet of Ratchet & Clank, Mortal Kombat and Spyro as a kid before getting an XBox when he was eleven. Still, you don't make it to your teens in suburban America without being at least passingly familiar with Mario.

This is not Mario. This is Bob Hoskins dragging Mario's name around through goo and talking mushrooms and 'goombas' that look like what would happen if someone decided to make club bouncers out of pleather handbags.

"Does Princess Peach just not exist in this movie?" Howard asks, choosing between whether to start devouring popcorn, a slushie, or gummi worms.

Re: Super Mario Bros: The Movie

[zouichi.livejournal.com]

"Who's Princess Peach?" asked Zouichi, staring dubiously at one of Howard's gummi worms. The 'Super' in Super Mario Bros. seems to suggest that they're superheroes of some kind.

"Are the Super Mario Brothers also X-Men?"

Re: Super Mario Bros: The Movie

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Oh boy. So Zouichi's not even getting the full impact of why this movie is so awful. Well, aside from the fact that it's just objectively awful, with an incoherent storyline, terrible acting, and dialogue that would make a ten year-old cringe.

I mean for God's sake it starts with this animated sequence.

"They're videogame characters, not superheroes. They're plumbers who travel through little green pipes to eat mushrooms and jump on giant turtles who kidnap Princess Peach. And sometimes they wear tanuki suits, which I guess are sort of like flying raccoons."

Howard goes for the slushie first, having successfully explained the totally logical and coherent world of Mario to Zou.

Titanic: The Animated Musical

[cityship]

[wat]

Re: Titanic: The Animated Musical

[whyarewehere]

Grif just... watched.

"...You know," he said, "In history class they said this was a horrible tragedy. Oh, and rap hadn't been invented yet."

Re: Titanic: The Animated Musical

[zouichi.livejournal.com]

"I understand this is some sort of... derivative film, based on a slightly more accurate portrayal of events," said Zouichi.

He just... couldn't look away. It was horrible.

Re: Titanic: The Animated Musical

[whyarewehere]

"....Accurate," Grif repeated in his most reasonable, oh-of-course tone.

"Accurate down to the little talking mice and rapping dog. How could I forget!"

[carrieswar.livejournal.com]

"It was..." Jr. affirmed, voice rather flat. Because he sort of just stared at it, too. There were some ridiculous things he'd seen before, but this? This was something else.

"I have no words for this right now."

[greeedycat]

"Humans must have some sick sense of humor. I thought they didn't like making light of masses amounts of people dying."

Seriously, what is this nonsense?

Re: Titanic: The Animated Musical

[syncopath]

Oh, the Master was in the front row for this one, munching on popcorn, laughing at all the wrong moments, and thoroughly enjoying himself. Very few things enraptured him, but children's programming was one of them.

Even dreadful children's programming.

"You know, it was even better in the original Italian," he told whoever happened to be sitting near him.

Re: Titanic: The Animated Musical

[zouichi.livejournal.com]

Was there a right place to laugh at this movie?

Zouichi glanced over at the Master, who he'd already decided was a little on the eccentric side. "I'm afraid I never got the chance to see it in Italian."

And probably never would, because what was this movie.

Re: Titanic: The Animated Musical

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Howard scoots as far away he can from the Master without being obvious about it. Unfortunately, if he leaves his seat he'll be conspicuous, so really he's just leaning away a few inches.

"Wait, so we can blame Italy for this? I thought for sure it had to be some low-rent movie studio out of Canada."

Manos: The Hands of Fate

[cityship]

[MST3K link I cheated]

[greeedycat]

This movie was...definately not like any of the (albeit, few) movies he had ever seen. It was actually just...boring. Horribly, mindbendingly dull. What did some nuclear family's vacation have to do with fate or whatever?

"...this is so stupid~"

[zouichi.livejournal.com]

"The Master would not approve," said Zouichi, doing a pretty good impression of Torgo, all things considered. "How have you been?"

[greeedycat]

"Maaaan, humanity's little thing with the concept of 'masters' is starting to creep me out~" Caz gave a fake shutter, before actually turning to Zou, having the common courtesy to tilt the brim of his hat out of his face.

"My place is full of junk, and that little vacation planet got me a bit distracted from things~ You?"

[keep-suriving.livejournal.com]

"Well." Diana sauntered over to pick a seat, already 5 minutes into the movie (because really, was she missing anything in those first few scenes?).

"If it isn't my new friend~" She sat down next to him, smirking.

Rubber

[cityship]

[trailer]

Re: Rubber

[keep-suriving.livejournal.com]

Diana had chosen to see Rubber after only being mildly surprised to find the main plot did not seem to be about some teen falling pregnant by some split condom.

Good. She wasn't in the mood for some light hearted comedy about the awkwardness of teen life and it's upsets. Everything was still too new, she was still recovering, she'd need time before she could hide herself in those old comforts.

Plus, the idea of pregnancy hit a little too close to home.

This was hilarious though. How serious it was being played out.

She did flinch a little at the first killing. She'd never been the squeamish sort but after seeing death with your own eyes it sort of left a mark. Diana decided to persevere though, she wouldn't let this become a weakness, so she resolved to watch all the death scenes without looking away, though for comfort she would chew one of the unpopped kernels. That was what any extra food was now. A comfort. A luxury. A gift.

Diana had curled her lithe body up comfortably into the seat, making herself at home. A pile of confectioneries in the seat next to her.

Re: Rubber

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Howard also has his stack of Sensoriums food, although since he's been here longer and has been able to get a little more used to the idea that you don't have to devour everything perishable as it presents itself, it's a little bit of a smaller pile and thus can sit comfortably at his feet.

He is slightly weirded out by how not weirded out he is by the psychic tire. I mean, whatever. Supposedly they had a sentient puddle of blood aboard the ship for a while.

He's not even quite sure where to start making fun of it.

"How can the tire hear the person begging him to blow her head off? Tires don't really have ears."

Re: Rubber

[chosenlightchld.livejournal.com]

Hikari blinked, looking at the movie and then her tub of popcorn. This movie was just completely... well, completely ridiculous. A tire. Killing people. With psychic powers.

Was it psychic powers? It sure looked like psychic powers.

She looked over at the other girl who was near her. "Umm... are you okay?"

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus

[cityship]

[trailer]

Re: Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus

[quick_strike]

While stupid, this was a hilarious movie to Alendian. Why? Because the human military is just this incompetent and she agrees very much so. Every time some disgusting craft of a war machine was destroyed, she cracked a smile but kept up a straight face throughout the rest. After all, it was still ridiculous and she could swear she could defeat those things in a one on one fight. Eldar were just that cool.

Re: Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus

[tetsuwan-atom.livejournal.com]

Atom took a seat right next to Alendian, munching on popcorn from a large, decoratively-striped paper bag. Also, he was slurping his slushee.

"I hope the shark wins," he said brightly.