take these broken wings | bendytimed to before shore leave [OPEN]

[angel-ofthe.livejournal.com]

[Takes place after this post]

After he had left Tay, Cas had found his way back to hydroponics, back to the beer tree. He'd filled up his trench coat pockets with bottles, then set off looking for an out of the way place where he wouldn't be bothered, a place where he wouldn't be found.

Eventually he'd ended up in an out of the way corner of the hangar bay, sitting on the floor against the wall. He started working his way through the beer, and soon had a collection of empty bottles around his feet.

She had wings.

It hurt Castiel without even having to think about it, because he could still feel their loss, like a part of him was missing. A part of him was. And right now, trapped in this unfamiliar place, all he wished was that he had the freedom to fly. He wasn't used to being stuck in one place, unable to just leave with a thought, to be able to go anywhere he wanted. He was trapped, he was doubly trapped, and right now, it was breaking him a little.

He raised the next bottle to his lips.

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[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

Dean had signed up for commandos, and now things were gearing up with the Rogues. Maybe he could even help keep his brother's ship going once he got better with it. Still things with Kaylee were mixed. He hadn't expected it, but he really liked the sunny mechanic. But once again, he put things out on the table, and while he didn't get shot down... well he wasn't sure. Dammit, why do girls make things so damn complicated?

So his own steps were heading toward his car in the hangar. Some bit of comfort seeing his and his brother's home on wheels.

He almost tripped over an empty bottle on the way, and then recognized the figure sitting there. Crap, crap, no, no, dammit, Cas. He's not going to let him become that burnt out drugged up hippie. No way in hell. At least he was only drinking. But had to be careful here.

"Cas, what's going on?"

[angel-ofthe.livejournal.com]

Cas was already pretty drunk, and that meant he was pretty belligerent. "What does it look like is going on, Dean?" he asked snippily.

"I'm taking this beer and putting it in my mouth." Suiting actions to words, he brought the bottle up to his lips and took another swallow.

[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

Dean wiped a hand over his face, and snarked back, "Oh, so is this going to be a regular thing? Watching you go on a fucking bender every other day?" He reached over to try to yank the bottle away.

[angel-ofthe.livejournal.com]

Cas tried to yank the beer back, but his reflexes were slow, and so he mostly just ended up spilling part of the bottle on himself as Dean pulled it away. "Hey!" he protested. "I was drinking that."

He huffed and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his trench coat where it pooled at his sides. "So what if it is." He stuck his jaw out challengingly in Dean's direction. "What do you care?"

[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

"Yeah well you're flagged," Dean stated bluntly, and tossed the bottle away, listening to the glass shatter in the distance.

He then crouched down in front of him, looking right back at his eyes, "Because I swore I wouldn't let you turn into him. Please, Cas. Remember when I said don't change? I meant it. Ok, yeah, the human part was inevitable, but the rest doesn't have to be."

[angel-ofthe.livejournal.com]

Cas sagged back, all the drunken defiance deflating out of him. He looked to the side, unable to meet Dean's gaze. "It's too late Dean, don't you get it?" he mumbled. "I'm useless. Worthless. We failed and now what, I just have to stay like this?"

He looked back up at Dean, blue eyes pleading. "At least let me get drunk."

[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

Dean snorted, and declared, "Yeah, so what? You're like us now. And you're not..."

He sighed, "You're not the useless one around here. Ok? You're not."

[angel-ofthe.livejournal.com]

"What do you mean I'm 'not the useless one'?" Cas wanted to know. "I'm the one who doesn't even know how to be a human. Doesn't like being a human."

[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

"Cas you really think it's easier for those who were born human? I'm trying to get by, and just throw myself into as much as I can so I can't think. I don't have to consider what might be waiting for us if we get our world back. Hell I just tossed myself out to this girl, and... I don't know, man. But you got more going for you. You're still a warrior, still nerd guy with more knowledge than even Sam."

[angel-ofthe.livejournal.com]

Drunken Castiel sees unpleasant truths time, go! Cas stares. "You're telling me I can't run away, when you're running away yourself," he accused.

[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

Dean stared at that.

"I'm not. Dammit! I'm not running away. I'm trying to do something more productive than just sitting around feeling sorry for myself. Hell, if I didn't do that, I'd be escaping into the bottle after you."

[angel-ofthe.livejournal.com]

Cas gave him a look. "You don't want to have to think about anything. What do you think I'm doing?"

[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

Dean flopped down next to him, "Cas, told you, pickling your brain only works for a little while. Need something else. Sam's got the Rogue Squadron, I'm working with them now, plus Security. Even doing some training. You gotta find something else to focus on. Ask Allen about teaching, or look in the library. Shit, anything else."

The problem was, in some ways, they were too much alike. Both warriors who had looked up to their distant fathers, only to end up disappointed. Cas lost his faith, Dean never had it much for a long time. Or could argue he lost it when he lost his mom.

"Hell, let me teach you." He also pulled his plantsuit top aside, "Also if you're human now, I think you're going to need one of these."

Not angel wings, but they're wings nonetheless!

[governorkang]

Half the time Kang decided to take a walk around the ship to help clear his mind, he ended up in the hangar. He never touched anything, just in case, but the machines in there were fascinating to look at. Krynn had very little knowledge of machinery, and mostly, it was the gnomes that experimented with it. Mostly with disastrous results. Idly, he wondered if that story about it being a curse was true.

...huh. That sounded like glass. Curious, he looked for the source of the noise, and spotted Castiel surrounded by beer bottles. What the hell was going on here?

"...Castiel?"

n'awwwww :3

[angel-ofthe.livejournal.com]

Castiel looked up. Ah, it was that lizard-thing again. What was his name? There was a long pause, as if Cas was having to pull the words up from a deep well.





"... Kang?"

If Kang were familiar at all with what intoxication looked like on humans, he would recognize the signs in Castiel.

[governorkang]

Oh yeah, Castiel was hammered. Kang walked over and crouched down in front of the man, picking up one of the bottles, "The hell are you doing drinking here, alone?" Those wings of his rustled slightly, helping with his balance.

[angel-ofthe.livejournal.com]

Castiel stared up at him through bleary eyes. "You have wings," he helpfully observed. He couldn't seem to stop staring at them.

[governorkang]

"...yes. I have wings. And you are drunk," Kang quirked an eyebrow ridge, taking one of the unopened bottles for himself. "Now why are you drinking alone?"

[angel-ofthe.livejournal.com]

Cas gave Kang a look like he had just asked the stupidest question imaginable. "I'm drinking to get drunk," he mulishly said, reaching for another one of the beers.

[governorkang]

Kang snorted, taking a drink from the bottle he'd snagged, "Obviously. Why do you want to get drunk, and why the hell are you so fixated on my wings?"

[angel-ofthe.livejournal.com]

"You have them," Castiel says, as if it should be the most obvious thing in the world, and then it's like he's collapsing in on himself. "You have them." And it's a broken whisper.

[governorkang]

...oh, now Kang was confused. Why was it such a big deal that he had - wait.

Dean had called angels dicks with wings before. He didn't see any wings on Castiel, and he smelled human. Had something happened to his wings? How did things work with angels anyways? Frowning, the bozak sat down, "You used to, didn't you?"

[angel-ofthe.livejournal.com]

The sound Castiel made when he laughed was a very unpleasant sound. "Used to. Yes," he agreed.

[governorkang]

Shit. Kang knew that particular laugh. He'd had one draco lose his tail, and another lose a wing, and both of them had thought it made them useless.

"...what happened?"

[angel-ofthe.livejournal.com]

Cas' eyes got wide as he stared up at Kang, as if the question was completely outrageous. He stared for a long moment without blinking, then finally dropped his gaze down to the bottle held loosely in his hands.

"I don't know. I don't ... I don't even know," he mumbled.