take these broken wings | bendytimed to before shore leave [OPEN]

[angel-ofthe.livejournal.com]

[Takes place after this post]

After he had left Tay, Cas had found his way back to hydroponics, back to the beer tree. He'd filled up his trench coat pockets with bottles, then set off looking for an out of the way place where he wouldn't be bothered, a place where he wouldn't be found.

Eventually he'd ended up in an out of the way corner of the hangar bay, sitting on the floor against the wall. He started working his way through the beer, and soon had a collection of empty bottles around his feet.

She had wings.

It hurt Castiel without even having to think about it, because he could still feel their loss, like a part of him was missing. A part of him was. And right now, trapped in this unfamiliar place, all he wished was that he had the freedom to fly. He wasn't used to being stuck in one place, unable to just leave with a thought, to be able to go anywhere he wanted. He was trapped, he was doubly trapped, and right now, it was breaking him a little.

He raised the next bottle to his lips.

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[angel-ofthe.livejournal.com]

Cas watched him silently for a time. This was one of those manly things, and usually he would let it go, usually, he wouldn't push.


Usually he wasn't drunk.

"Dean."

His voice was soft, but it carried.

[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

"I'm used to it. So just drop it, so you can get some rest," Dean quietly said as he helped him along. Even Kaylee had some idea he got them because of the times he spent with her on occasion. To find he'd been whimpering in his sleep only to have a calm soothing hand gently brushing over his dirty blond hair as he woke. It did help a little. But he figured he was used to running on only a few hours of sleep during the week. Just part of being a hunter. Never mind the concerned looks his brother sometimes tossed his way, had been tossing his way since he was grabbed out of hell.

[angel-ofthe.livejournal.com]

Castiel dug his heals in, refusing to be dragged along.

"Dean."

His voice was firmer, more insistent this time.

[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

Leaving Dean no choice now but to stop for the moment.

"What, Cas? What the hell?" He very nearly growled out the question in annoyance.

[angel-ofthe.livejournal.com]

Well Cas could growl right back. He glared fiercely at Dean. "I rebelled for you. I died for you ... twice. I've given everything I had ... for you. Dean Winchester--" he reached out, gently placing his hand over the mark where his print was burned into Dean's shoulder. "You ... are important to me. Never forget that." He pressed down, gripping Dean's shoulder firmly with his hand.

[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

"Well I never wanted you to! Not if it meant you losing..." He started to say, and got very quiet when Cas placed his hand there. Right where he had gripped him to pull him out of hell.

Dean just blinked and stared back for a moment.

[angel-ofthe.livejournal.com]

"It was what I wanted. My choice," Cas said, meeting Dean's stare with a glare of his own.

[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

"Then why are you bitching so much about being human?" Dean finally replied, and sighed, "Cas, I'm just letting you down. You shouldn't have. I mean, what does it say when a guy's saying he's grateful for his planet getting blasted away, huh?" He had some time to think about Kaylee berating him for the comment.

[angel-ofthe.livejournal.com]

Cas stared. "What, are you saying it would have been better if I had just left you in hell then? Or maybe I should have left you and Sam to get caught by the angels and the devils so you could get turned into meatsuits."

[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

"Not the second no, Sam deserves better than that. But the first... yeah you should have."

[angel-ofthe.livejournal.com]

Cue one smack upside the head. Except Cas was drunk and uncoordinated, so it was more a whap upside the head with his forearm.

"You really are a moron," Cas told him crossly.

[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

Dean yelped at that.

"Cas! Shit, what the fuck was that for?!?"

[angel-ofthe.livejournal.com]

"I am going to say this slowly, and use very small words, because evidently you have the mind of a young child," Cas told him condescendingly.

"Knowing what I know now, if I had to chose what to do all over again, I would make exactly the same choices. I would raise you from Hell. I would die for you. I would become human, for you."

Cas shook his head. "I can't believe I Fell for an idiot," he muttered under his breath.

[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

"I do not!" Dean argued back with a scowl. But then as he listened to the rest....

His brain kind of short circuited for a moment.

"...Why, and wait, wait. What? You fell for me?" Wait, this is Cas, who sucks on human language and communication. He to mean something very literal.

[angel-ofthe.livejournal.com]

Cas rolled his eyes. "Of course I Fell for you. I don't see any other obnoxious yet somehow persuasive humans tempting angels into disobedience, do you?"

[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

Dean relaxed a little, "Right, that kind of falling, not the complicated in a OGODIREALLYDID lovey one.

[angel-ofthe.livejournal.com]

Cas frowned. "What do you mean, the 'lovey one'? It has to do with me loving you?"

[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

"Uh, yeah, usually when people say they fell for someone... They meant they fell in love with them. But you just meant falling in angel terms so it's fine."

[angel-ofthe.livejournal.com]

Castiel blinked. English expressions made no sense to him, especially when he was drunk. "Why would I ... fall in love with you?" he wondered. "That sounds painful. Besides, I already love you."



[[Brotherly~ love. ... I'm going somewhere with this. I promise! X3;;;]]

[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

Dean swallowed hard at that, still staring at the drunk angel. Former angel, even if the hunter still thought of him as an angel. And that's the thing, how much was it Cas talking, and how much was the drink talking?

"You..do? What do you mean by that?"

[angel-ofthe.livejournal.com]

Cas blinks. "What do you mean, what do I mean?" he questions. It's pretty self explanatory to him. "I love you."

"I love you, and I love Sam, and .. I even love Bobby." He tilts his head at Dean. "I love humanity. You taught me about that, about how important it is to care for humans, even people you don't know ..."

[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

Dean relaxed slightly, though part of him felt almost disappointed... What the hell? No, no, he likes Cas because he's probably the first real best friend he's had in a long time. Actually he's seeing him as part of their odd mixed up family now.

"Right, right. L-Care about you too, Cas. I mean, things are more right having you and Sam around. Missed seeing you around."

[angel-ofthe.livejournal.com]

Cas rolled his eyes. "You can't admit you have feelings about anyone but Sam," he said. "But ..." The look he gave Dean became almost fond. "That's okay, I know you ... care."

He took a step forward, ready to continue on to bed now, and staggered, falling against Dean. "Stupid ground," he muttered, "why does it have to ... move?"

[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

Dean gave a tiny laugh at that, thinking of Kaylee.

"Actually I... nah, never mind."

He continued to support, "Told you to go easy on the booze. Come on, almost there." The crew quarters were straight ahead now, and they were almost to his and Sam's room. Well, could argue it's all their room since Cas's arrival.

[angel-ofthe.livejournal.com]

Cas tilted his head at Dean, curious, but this caused him to lose his balance further and crash even more into the other man. "Hell damn it," he mutters.

No, Cas still doesn't have that swearing properly thing down.