trans_9 | take these broken wings | bendytimed to before shore leave [OPEN]

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take these broken wings | bendytimed to before shore leave [OPEN]

[Takes place after this post]

After he had left Tay, Cas had found his way back to hydroponics, back to the beer tree. He'd filled up his trench coat pockets with bottles, then set off looking for an out of the way place where he wouldn't be bothered, a place where he wouldn't be found.

Eventually he'd ended up in an out of the way corner of the hangar bay, sitting on the floor against the wall. He started working his way through the beer, and soon had a collection of empty bottles around his feet.

She had wings.

It hurt Castiel without even having to think about it, because he could still feel their loss, like a part of him was missing. A part of him was. And right now, trapped in this unfamiliar place, all he wished was that he had the freedom to fly. He wasn't used to being stuck in one place, unable to just leave with a thought, to be able to go anywhere he wanted. He was trapped, he was doubly trapped, and right now, it was breaking him a little.

He raised the next bottle to his lips.

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Castiel looked up. Ah, it was that lizard-thing again. What was his name? There was a long pause, as if Cas was having to pull the words up from a deep well.

"... Kang?"

If Kang were familiar at all with what intoxication looked like on humans, he would recognize the signs in Castiel.

Oh yeah, Castiel was hammered. Kang walked over and crouched down in front of the man, picking up one of the bottles, "The hell are you doing drinking here, alone?" Those wings of his rustled slightly, helping with his balance.

Castiel stared up at him through bleary eyes. "You have wings," he helpfully observed. He couldn't seem to stop staring at them.

"...yes. I have wings. And you are drunk," Kang quirked an eyebrow ridge, taking one of the unopened bottles for himself. "Now why are you drinking alone?"

Cas gave Kang a look like he had just asked the stupidest question imaginable. "I'm drinking to get drunk," he mulishly said, reaching for another one of the beers.

Kang snorted, taking a drink from the bottle he'd snagged, "Obviously. Why do you want to get drunk, and why the hell are you so fixated on my wings?"

"You have them," Castiel says, as if it should be the most obvious thing in the world, and then it's like he's collapsing in on himself. "You have them." And it's a broken whisper.

...oh, now Kang was confused. Why was it such a big deal that he had - wait.

Dean had called angels dicks with wings before. He didn't see any wings on Castiel, and he smelled human. Had something happened to his wings? How did things work with angels anyways? Frowning, the bozak sat down, "You used to, didn't you?"

The sound Castiel made when he laughed was a very unpleasant sound. "Used to. Yes," he agreed.

Shit. Kang knew that particular laugh. He'd had one draco lose his tail, and another lose a wing, and both of them had thought it made them useless.

"...what happened?"

Cas' eyes got wide as he stared up at Kang, as if the question was completely outrageous. He stared for a long moment without blinking, then finally dropped his gaze down to the bottle held loosely in his hands.

"I don't know. I don't ... I don't even know," he mumbled.

"What do you mean, you don't know?" Kang asked, head tilting to one side slightly. He actually wanted to help Castiel out; Sam and Dean were alright people, and the man was a friend of theirs.

Cas rolls his eyes. "Well I know what happened," he snips. "I disobeyed my orders for Dean. I rebelled for Dean. I died for Dean. I Fell for Dean. I was banished from Heaven for Dean. I used up all my Grace for Dean. I became human for Dean."

"But ... what happened ... " Cas shook his head. "I don't know," he said simply. "Taken as a whole, it seems ... impossible."

"...I'm afraid I don't know what half the things you said mean. I'd never heard of angels until I woke up on this ship," Kang said quietly.

Cas snorted. "I'm sure Dean wishes he never heard of us either."

He sighed, then shut his eyes. "It doesn't matter," he mumbled. "I was an angel, now I'm not. My Father turned his back on me and now I can never go home."

Are you sure about that, Castiel?

... I'm sure.

"None of it matters anymore, anyway."

Kang frowned, wings rustling slightly, "If it doesn't matter anymore, then there's no harm in telling me what an angel is."

Castiel sighed. "We're--" he made a gesture. "Servants of God. His soldiers. We see that His Will is done."

"We're immortal and we've existed since before the world was created. But in all things, we must be obedient. Blindly unquestioningly faithful." His voice turned into a sneer on the last word. "The price of dissension is being cast out, of losing your family, your home, your strength, your everything."

"...that doesn't sound like any god I'd ever want to follow," Kang snorted. From his tone, it was obvious the bozak had some issues with the blind faith and obedience thing as well. "But you gave it up for Dean. Why?"

Castiel's expression was flat. "He is my Father. I didn't exactly have a choice."

"... why?" Cas stared into his beer. "I wonder ..." Raising the bottle to his mouth he took a long drink. "Dean is ..." He sighed, unable to finish the sentence.

[[HINT: SEE ICON KEYWORDS]]

"You always have a choice," Kang pointed out, giving Castiel a serious look. "No matter what, you have a choice. And you chose to disobey your father for the sake of a human, knowing what would happen."

He barely held back a hiss. "At least your father didn't kill you for it. You're still alive."

Cas rolled his eyes. "I did die. ... twice. The first time, my Father brought me back to life. The second time ... Stacy did." He snorted, as if Stacy had not been doing him a favor.

Kang blinked, and growled, "I don't think Stacy is powerful enough to bring people back from the dead. She probably grabbed you right before you died; she suppresses the memories. You can get them back."

Castiel frowned. "But I remember ...." What did he remember? In his drunken state, he wasn't so sure. He stared up at Kang. "Do you think maybe my Father ...?"

If God had brought him back from the dead, that would mean something else entirely. It would turn his world upside down, again. Cas shook his head. He was waaaay to drunk to be thinking about theological puzzles.

"I don't know. He's a god. He did it once, he might have done it again. If I were you, I'd ask Stacy to give you back your memories to make sure," Castiel was lucky he was talking to someone that actually believed in gods, and had dealt with them before.

"He's the God," Castiel corrected tiredly. There were other lower-case gods and goddesses in his world, but they didn't count, as far as Castiel was concerned.

"My memories, huh," he mumbled. "So I can see us failing, so I can see the world being destroyed?"

Yeah, right. That sounded like Cas' idea of a great time.

take these broken wings | bendytimed to before shore leave [OPEN]

n'awwwww :3

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