Extreme makeover [Open, bendytimed to... whenever makes sense]

[zouichi]

Somehow, he'd gotten himself into a bet. He didn't even really remember how it had happened or how they had gotten on the subject. But then suddenly the bet had been accepted and it was too late to back down, and now he was sitting at the very same Mess Hall table Sakura and the others had been sitting at the other day while they'd been discussing the source of the ship's mystery meat food supply.

To be fair to Sakura, he'd picked a shade of pink to match her own, natural hair color. But the results were... jarring. Also, hopefully no one would recognize either of them.

Comments

[zouichi]

Zouichi's expression turned skeptical. "I think they'll be able to find us just fine without you sending out an all-points."

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"Oh, come on. Did you really expect to dye your hair bubblegum pink and not have someone take a picture? Really? Get real."

[zouichi]

"Does that mean I have free reign to post a photo of you wearing that shirt of wolves howling at the moon?" Because Zouichi would totally do it.

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"...When did you get a photo of me wearing that?" Have you been taking pictures of him while he's asleep?

[zouichi]

What you don't know can't hurt you, Howard. Of course, it could all be a bluff.

Were you feeling lucky today, Howard? Well? Were you?

Zouichi's expression was kept carefully blank.

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"You wouldn't." He does, however, look totally uncertain as he calls Zou's bluff.

[zouichi]

"Try me." You can't unbluff him, Howard! His dignity is at stake! And normally he wouldn't mind that much but the ship had already seen the meido thing and then there was that superpowered girl thing, and...

NO MORE.

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"Fine. I will." Howard snaps a photo with his camera function - it makes a delightful, satisfying click. "Bring it."

[zouichi]

And just as quickly, Zouichi is there with his superhuman reflexes trying to snatch the omnicomm out of Howard's hands.

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Howard jerks back, but not in time to save the comm. "Hey! That's mine!"

On the upside, he knows the t-shirt pictures are a bluff. On the downside, if Zouichi starts playing keep-away with his comm he will probably throw a fit and threaten to feed Alan to his cats or something.

I know I replied to this B|

[zouichi]

Zouichi deleted the picture and tossed it back to Howard. "And I didn't agree to be photographed. It's fine if you want to sear this day into your memory forever and ever, but I don't want to see a pictures on the comms."

Re: I know I replied to this B|

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"You know that I'm just going to do a photoshop version of it now, right?"

[zouichi]

He sighed. "If you absolutely have to."

You just wait, Howard. One day it would be you with the pink hair and the meido outfits. "So what are you doing here? Not working this shift?"

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"Oh, I do. I need some tangible memorabilia from your stint as a Spice Girl."

"Rory's on shift today." And Howard is still perfectly content to avoid the hell out of him, because that makes all your problems go away and he's totally replacing Rory with Ian and Barbara but like hell would he admit that. "Besides, I've been craving Stacy snot. I thought maybe our little adventure would kill the love for me, but nope. Good old slop."

[zouichi]

"Ha ha. So how long are you gonna keep avoiding that guy?"

Zouichi made a face as Howard mentioned the slop, but Howard never had been particularly picky about taste. "And where'd you put that cow?"

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"Until one of us is dead. Not that that may be long on this ship."

Howard leans over onto the table across from Zou. "Got a freezer at the Warehouse. I'm thinking rib cookoff."

[zouichi]

"Oh, of course. Totally logical."

He looked back at Howard with what could only be described as suspicion. "This rib cookoff isn't coming anywhere near the inn, right? I shudder to think of what that thing's going to smell like cooked."

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"It'll be fine cooked. Most of the smell was coming from the goo surrounding it. The meat on the cow's actually fine. But if it's that big a deal to you I'll cook it at the Warehouse." Howard will be so, so sad if you don't come to his rib cookoff, Zou.

[zouichi]

Zouichi still didn't look entirely convinced. "...It was a baby cow."

Yes. That mattered to Zouichi. He'd still come, Howard, but... he'd be judging you. Quietly.

Poor little baby cow.

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

A look of uncertainty, and then hurt, creeps over Howard's face. "It was dead when we got it. Do you just want to waste it?"

Because that may be values dissonance he doesn't know how to handle.

[zouichi]

Zouichi sighed. "No... I guess not."

Throwing out the meat would be disrespectful to the cow. "But I still don't like it. Even if they are clones, they should at least have a chance at a life."

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"You'd rather they have a chance to feel fear and pain before they die and feed us?" Because clearly, that is what life is. "I mean, I don't like it either, but I'd figure a painless existence without animal cruelty would be more up your alley than whatever else might've been up there."

[zouichi]

He gave Howard a strange look. "Are you saying you'd rather not exist? There's a possibility that they might feel fear and pain sometime during their lives... but that's how life is. I don't know too many people who would rather have died before they were born."

"Either way, you're taking a life. Is it better to take someone's life before they've had a chance to live it, or after they've experienced it for a while?" Howard seemed to think it was somehow better -- cleaner -- if animals didn't have a chance to get to know the world before they died. But that didn't sit will with Zouichi, somehow; it was like trying to absolve oneself of guilt.

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"Yeah, I would. It's just a little late to make that call now." Holy depressed teenager, Batman. Howard doesn't even seem aware of how morbid his response was.

"That's just a matter of how you frame the question, though. Are you taking their life before they live it, or are you killing them kindly instead of bringing them into a life where you know from the start that they're going to suffer and die for someone else? Isn't guaranteed suffering worse than none?"

Howard shrugs. "I mean, that's my view on kids too, so."

[zouichi]

Well, that was depressing. Zouichi was glad he was alive, even if he'd only been created for one specific purpose. Though that original purpose had expanded somewhat, hadn't it? As had the reasons he had for remaining alive and breathing.

"The only guarantee in life is death, and it happens to everyone, whether you're human or a livestock animal. And there's no such thing as killing someone kindly, either. That's just justifying it to yourself to ease your conscience. There are perfectly good reasons for killing someone -- to protect someone else, to make sure they can never kill again, to survive -- but you're still taking a life."