The Wrath of Neutro

[cityship]

LAST WEEK, ON THE ADVENTURES OF PERCIVAL PHOENIX: The situation had gone from bad to worse. The rescue team now knew what had become of their colleagues, true --
BUT AT WHAT PRICE?

Sakura has been kidnapped! Anwei and Zouichi are convinced they're villainous henchmen!

Lash thinks she's A MAD SCIENTIST!

...

*in the audience, a man bursts into flames and runs off, screaming*

AND NOW, THE CONTINUATION.

Comments

Meanwhile! (Lash, Anwei, Zouichi, Sakura)

[cityship]

[Back at the evil lair, Anwei and Zouichi are bickering over who’s the better loyal minion until Lash yells at them. They are always arguing! They have not captured Percival Phoenix yet! They are not turning in their TPS reports! She orders Anwei to take care of the hero and his new little friends before they get to the evil lair – after all, it’s Anwei’s territory they’ll be passing through on their way there. She leaves, but Zouichi resolves to follow her and capture them for himself. Sakura struggles to free herself, but is stopped by Lash. Bwahaha!]

Re: Meanwhile! (Lash, Anwei, Zouichi, Sakura)

[zouichi.livejournal.com]

"Still here, you sniveling seductress?" High on the topmost floor of Dr. Lady Deathtruction NEUTRO™'s secret evil lair, Nuon scowled across the room at his most hated enemy. "I thought our Lady ordered you to dispatch of Phoenix and his little team of assistants -- don't tell me you're disobeying her direct command?"

Re: Meanwhile! (Lash, Anwei, Zouichi, Sakura)

[8wings.livejournal.com]

The Blood Queen let her eyes roll over Nuon's uniformed body as though he was a grape that she was sizing up for the wine-press.

She turned a little, letting the light shine just so off her headdress. "You thought? How novel, a tin toy with delusions of consciousness - and competence. I see that you are not rushing to challenge Percival Phoenix and his Earthling sidekicks. Perhaps you have forgotten your orders regarding them?"

Pitiful synthetic creature. Why the Lady kept him around was anyone's guess.

Re: Meanwhile! (Lash, Anwei, Zouichi, Sakura)

[zouichi.livejournal.com]

Nuon suppressed a shudder as he felt the stare of those ancient, yellowed eyeballs pass over the surface of his immaculately-pressed uniform, as if across an eternal expanse of time.

"Ha! Empty words, forming equally empty insults! But like your ill-cast glamours, they do naught to conceal the toothless old counterfeit that lies beneath. Oh, how I long for the day when our Lady sees you for the sham you have always been!"

Revolting old seductress. He could only imagine why she kept eyeing the unrivaled perfection of his synthetic form.

Re: Meanwhile! (Lash, Anwei, Zouichi, Sakura)

[8wings.livejournal.com]

The Blood Queen smiled, hideously wide, displaying a perfect array of ivory teeth that stretched literally from ear to ear. The teeth glittered like her perfect blue-silver eyes and her immaculate wardrobe and the shining swell of her bosom; it was like a slick crescent moon suspended over twin suns.

"How sad it must be to know that you are only a trinket plucked from a garbage heap, and soon to return there. I hope that the Lady keeps you - well, alive is not the word for you, is it?" A tittering laugh like the ice breaking under the hooves of a unicorn colt, sending it plunging into water filled with killer whales. "Animate, at least, so that your consistent failures can provide a contrast to my successes."

She considered him as no more than an array of mismatched components that would be best powered down, parted out and used for repairs to the Lady's more worthwhile equipment.

SPELL OF THE BLOOD QUEEN! (Anwei, Zouichi, rescue team)

[cityship]

[The rescue team is heading toward the castle, complaining all the while as they trudge through strangely Egyptian themed ruins. Suddenly, Anwei appears, siccing her robo-jackals on the team! Which, okay, they can more or less handle. Zouichi shows up, having tracked her to the location of the heroes, unleashing the cardboard robots! Okay, so that PLUS the jackals is getting a little much for the team to handle. Percival shows up to save the day, with his trusty Atomizer Gun and/or his ability to capitalize on Anwei and Zouichi’s propensity to constantly argue with each other. The heroes escape with Percival, and end up deciding to work with him.]

Re: SPELL OF THE BLOOD QUEEN! (Anwei, Zouichi, rescue team)

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"I'm taking bets," Howard says. He has not shut up for the entire walk here, which has taken well over an hour. Not so secretly, it's because he's scared, and babbling tends to take the edge off the feeling that they're walking into danger. Which, given that they're heading to the mountain lair where mad scientist Dr. Kraken the Power Ranger is making a death ray, would be a very accurate feeling.

How can he be so terrified and yet still find the whole scenario so laughable? He's chewing on a piece of gauze from his med kit in earnest.

"With this setting, we're talking mummies. Aztec mummies. Brendan Frasier mummies. Scooby Doo pull-the-toilet-paper-and-they-unwind mummies. If we run across mummies, you all owe me a soda. Multiple sodas. #@$% that, 12-packs of Dr. Pepper."

God, that censoring is $%#@ing weird.

Howard notes a shadow shifting in his peripheral vision and turns around, but sees nothing distinct. He scoots in a little closer to Chase, who's become his de facto Object to Hide Behind. For all that they've all been talking about movie cliches for the last hour, he's incredibly grateful no one's brought up the black-guy-dies-first one.

"Hey, is that sphinx made of styrofoam?"

Re: SPELL OF THE BLOOD QUEEN! (Anwei, Zouichi, rescue team)

[j-y-d.livejournal.com]

He got more used to Aztec ruins and treks through thick jungle in his one extended venture into non-urban ruins, but this is... ok, while he doesn't mind the long walk, this is weird, no matter how one looks at it.

"%$#@ that, the way this is going, you've got to be right. Wish the one mummy I knew at home was here... he'd be critiquing the set. Besides, when we $#@&%!# get out of this, I'm going to need something stronger than $#!@&%$ Dr. Pepper."

Yeah, the censoring is definitely $%#@!&# weird.

"$#%&@!% right it is. And I bet Anwei is half made of silicon here, last I saw her."

Re: SPELL OF THE BLOOD QUEEN! (Anwei, Zouichi, rescue team)

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Howard trips over an gold-painted electrical cable (seriously, who just leaves those lying around in cardboard Egypt?) and stumbles into a statue of Bast as they pass. It crumbles, and sure enough it's filled with little white styrofoam pellets. Also, it smells like hot glue and spray paint. He notices that there's gold smeared on his shoes from the ground.

Well, at least it isn't glitter.

"God, seriously. I don't even look at that sort of thing and even I noticed that Wonderbra." Which is creepy, jeez Anwei.

"You, uh, you do realize that she's a cannibal with a martyr complex, right? And that like, in every movie ever, when you kiss the evil femme fatale she's got poison on her lips or a dagger in her panties."

Re: SPELL OF THE BLOOD QUEEN! (Anwei, Zouichi, rescue team)

[j-y-d.livejournal.com]

He glances back over his shoulder, grinning at Howard.

"First, if we can't $#&*(#@ swear, we sure as %#$& aren't going to be allowed to see anything that ain't $%&#@%$ PG rated. She's probably wearing $#@%*#@ Censored bars under her glittery bad girl #$%&.

Two, didn't know about the martyr complex, but we've talked some.

Three, how can you not $#@%&(@ notice tits?... huh... ok, so we can say (!($..."

He pauses. "(!($..."

"@#$&$#@&... the censors $#@%!#% figure out when they missed something. $#@&."

He growls. %$#@ censors... apparently he can't even think in swearing like a @#%&$%@# sailor anymore.

"Point still stands... yeah, making out with the bad girl is a bad idea, but they're $#@%&!@ hot. There's a $@%$#@& reason Hollywood keeps squeezing braindead blow up dolls with six figure incomes into latex and giving them #$%&!#% whips and too much make up... and don't worry about the panty dagger... I'll disarm her."

THE TURNING TIDE OF BATTLE (everyone)

[cityship]

[Lash curses Anwei and Zouichi mightily for their failure to defeat the heroes while Sakura continues her attempts to escape and snarking. Cowed, Lash’s lieutenants return to the battlefield. Clearly the solution to their previous defeat is mummies! And a giant mechanical spider! This time, however, the rescue team is ready, splitting the enemies up in a labyrinth to deal with them separately.

Re: THE TURNING TIDE OF BATTLE (everyone)

[thewunderkind]

Dr. Lady Deathtruction NEUTRO™ was not pleased. The heroes were not defeated! That accursed Percival still lived to see another day! Daisy's cage hadn't been vacuumed properly, it was a terrible mess! When the great queen threw a tantrum, even the largest of the creatures assembled had to shrink back from her piercing gaze. She raised her arms to the sky in frustration as music filled the room.

"HE STILL LIVES?!" Never mind all the other time she tried to kill him that had failed. "He must not find out all the details of my plans!" Never mind the fact that Daisy' cage was just behind her. "The Death Ray will speed up all the molecules of any target I point it on causing it to be reduced to dust! ...well either that or blow up the entire world. Either way it's going to be a blast."

The Lady Doctor paced back and forth in a circle massaging her skull. All these things were giving her a headache. She hated these headaches.

"And another thing! Neither Percival nor those three nitwits must arrive here. Stop them! Crush them! They should be shot on sight! Or...skinned! YEAH! SKIN THEM ALIVE! BURN THEM INTO A FIERY ASH!"

Re: THE TURNING TIDE OF BATTLE (everyone)

[zouichi.livejournal.com]

Nuon bowed deeply, one hand over his metallic chest. This was his greatest failure! His greatest shame! His hand clenched into a fist of ANGER AND HUMILIATION. Those meddling Earthling interlopers! It was their fault! They would pay for this!

The outsiders had displayed powers far beyond mortal ken, but even they had been no match for Nuon and his clockwork army! At least, until the entrance of that thrice-accursed PERCIVAL PHOENIX!

"It shall be as you order, my Lady," he grated mechanically. Oh, what he wouldn't give to wrap his metallic hands around that Phoenix's throat and wring his perfectly-muscled neck.

Re: THE TURNING TIDE OF BATTLE (everyone)

[8wings.livejournal.com]

The Blood Queen curtsied low, keeping her balance with perfect grace; at her side the robo-jackals groveled on their bellies, whining softly in a tune of self-incrimination.

"I shall exert myself to the utmost to carry out your orders with absolute perfection," she purred. "Despite the poor quality of your - other assistants - I am certain that Percival Phoenix's head will at your feet by sunset."

With or without his body attached.

"And as for his sidekicks," she rose, eyes flaming with fury, "I intend to choke them, burn them, and then sliver them into teeny-tiny fragments and entomb them alive!" And thunder crashed (that sounded suspiciously like someone shaking a sheet of metal behind the nearest canvas scrim).

Re: THE TURNING TIDE OF BATTLE (everyone)

[zouichi.livejournal.com]

Nuon scoffed. "I see not even the shame of endless defeat can halt the eternal tides of self-congratulation upon which my Lady's other assistants ride. Enough! It is Nuon who shall defeat Percival Phoenix -- I guarantee it! He shall be roasted alive in the fires of his own heroic hubris, and this time, I shall leave no ashes from which to rise!"

With a roar of laughter, he disappeared in a brilliant bolt of light and sound.

THE BLOOD QUEEN COMES CLEAN (Anwei, part of the rescue team)

[cityship]

[For de-brainwashing Anwei]

Re: THE BLOOD QUEEN COMES CLEAN (Anwei, part of the rescue team)

[8wings.livejournal.com]

This was her domain: every dusty corner a fond friend, every pit lined with poisoned spikes a smile, every deadfall just a surprise hug that crushed its victims to pulp.

The Blood Queen drifted through the labyrinth, her robo-jackals snaffling before her. Let the fools follow the sound of her delicate footsteps on the sand, and the steady, maddening gong-gong-gong of her golden brassiere's two halves brushing each other. She would bring the Lady their defeated husks, to dance attendance on her until they died in sheerest agony. And if Nuon dared to interfere with her hunt, his shell would be one more to decorate her realm.

Re: THE BLOOD QUEEN COMES CLEAN (Anwei, part of the rescue team)

[j-y-d.livejournal.com]

Chase pursues Anwei. He knows her better than anyone else involved on the other side, so he figures if he's going to be able to get through to anyone, its probably her. Not like she's especially hard to track right now either.

Besides, its not like he minds looking at her in that outfit any, even if he's still sure she's wearing some kind of black bodysuit with the word 'Censored' on it under those somehow.

Re: THE BLOOD QUEEN COMES CLEAN (Anwei, part of the rescue team)

[8wings.livejournal.com]

Ha, she could hear the heavy footsteps of the one following her. It must be the large one. The boorish face of a peasant, with the thick build of a beast of burden: well, at least his slaughtered remains would provide plenty of nourishment for Dr. Lady Deathtruction NEUTRO™ gardens.

She raises herself on her toes and nearly dances across a section of the ruin's pavement, feeling the stones shift slightly under her feet. Her light weight was not enough to trigger the trap, but the clod behind her was sure to do so. The stones would tip under his weight, sending him sliding helplessly down into the pit, and the layers upon layers of razor-sharp wires that criss-crossed it in a deadly spider's web.

It was always so much easier to compost bodies when they were pre-sliced.

Re: THE BLOOD QUEEN COMES CLEAN (Anwei, part of the rescue team)

[j-y-d.livejournal.com]

If he was as clumsy as his size would indicate, she'd be right. If she knew what Anwei knew, or processed it that way, she'd also be aware of a flaw in the plan - thankfully, she doesn't.

He hits the trap, feeling the floor begin to move. Thankfully, the plot hasn't taken away /all/ his magic tricks. Reacting faster than a human should be able to, he makes an anime-ish leap... dramatic leaps to safety being part and parcel of this genre, after all, landing in a shoulder roll that brings him right back to his feet.

"Y'know, Anwei... Blood Queen, whatever your %$#@&*#@ name is... for a femme fatale, you're awfully heavy on the fatale... an' topheavy on the femme, but you're still missing part of your trope." he calls ahead, continuing to navigate the maze after her.

THE HEART OF ARTIFICE (Zouichi, relevant rescue team)

[cityship]

[For de-brainwashing Zouichi]

Re: THE HEART OF ARTIFICE (Zouichi, relevant rescue team)

[zouichi.livejournal.com]

Nuon slipped between the broken pillars of the labyrinth, searching. Hunting. Which of his prey he found did not matter, of course; if he found Phoenix, he would dispatch the man and deal with the others all the quicker for the loss of their most valuable asset. And if he found someone else...

He smiled cruelly to himself, not bothering to disguise the echo of his footsteps. He could see the look on that harpy's face now -- oh, how she'd writhe and shriek when she realized her quarry had been seized right from under her nose.

Re: THE HEART OF ARTIFICE (Zouichi, relevant rescue team)

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Howard's about 80% sure he's figured out the rules of this world. That means he's 20% sure he's about to get killed by his banter buddy.

But Anwei seems to have Jaime and Chase tied up at the moment (possibly literally, if Chase is getting his wish), so that leaves him. An unpowered, frightened teenager whose only special ability seems to be ending up on missions that end with him running from certain death.

Oh, how he hopes this work. "Hey, Neo! You're not letting that cooky Cleopatra knock-off have all the fun, are you?"

He doesn't wait to see if Zouichi heard. He just bolts and looks for a good place to deliver a monologue without getting his neck snapped.

Re: THE HEART OF ARTIFICE (Zouichi, relevant rescue team)

[zouichi.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, Nuon doesn't get the references, though he does have an idea of what Howard's words mean. "Ah, I recognize that voice," he says, almost to himself. "Yes; one of the children. The coward."

His senses are sharp, more than sharp enough to turn him to the source of that voice. He follows without hesitation; as his gloved fingers brush against a ruined wall, a brief burst of electrical energy sparks into being.

Re: THE HEART OF ARTIFICE (Zouichi, relevant rescue team)

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Howard would shoot back 'hey, I'm putting myself in danger to help you out, Robocop', except that would be a waste of breath as he runs like a running thing down the corridor. Not to mention that 'coward' isn't a label he's too keen on fighting most days.

Whoops, forgot about the electricity.

...HOW did I forget about the electricity?

What's even worse, he apparently forgot this corridor was a dead end. He skids to a stop - not fast enough to keep from tumbling into the wall - and twists around, putting his hands up. "Stop, Zou! We're friends! I know you're in there and we're friends!"