Billy Cranston (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
morphitudinous) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
trans_92010-09-03 12:17 pm
morphitudinous) wrote in trans_92010-09-03 12:17 pm
Things We Never Said [Open]
Billy could see it clearly in his mind's eye:
Billy, Cassie, and Jamie would be wielding the new and improved Slop Immobilizer Gun, wearing their brand new non-stick safety uniforms, and presenting the project with triumphant smiles on their faces. They finally built something that wouldn't stick when it wasn't meant to. With that great weapon, they could trap their opponents non-lethally and be considered heroes for finding a use for the almost universally loathed slop.
It was now a scene that would never come to pass. Oh, Billy was still there, and Jamie was, and the gun was, and of course the slop would never ever go away, much to their dismay, but nothing remained of Cassie Lang but their memories.
Their partner, their friend. Dead. Billy thought back on all he knew of her: her family life, developing as a hero, her friends, her spirit, her contributions. All of that culminating in one of the better people he'd known, never to be seen again. Never to be thanked for all she'd done, and even he saw this. Comparatively he hadn't known her extremely well, but she was one of his own. Like B5 had been.
It was that thought that drove Billy into another version of the attack simulation, wielding the gun from his fantasy once more. He'd thought he was going to call Jamie and Cassie for the victory after the crisis, but he would now be running the test alone. Soon enough, the moving targets were in place and the first shots were fired.
Blam. Blam. This time, it worked exactly as intended, but there was no joy left in Billy's heart to celebrate. Instead, he found himself lowering his gun arm and starting to cry.
"Cassie..."
((Open because he'll be mourning here for a little while, even knowing that everyone knows where he is. Renne's last chronologically for now, but I'll work out some semblance of chronology at the end. I don't wanna leave anyone out.))
Billy, Cassie, and Jamie would be wielding the new and improved Slop Immobilizer Gun, wearing their brand new non-stick safety uniforms, and presenting the project with triumphant smiles on their faces. They finally built something that wouldn't stick when it wasn't meant to. With that great weapon, they could trap their opponents non-lethally and be considered heroes for finding a use for the almost universally loathed slop.
It was now a scene that would never come to pass. Oh, Billy was still there, and Jamie was, and the gun was, and of course the slop would never ever go away, much to their dismay, but nothing remained of Cassie Lang but their memories.
Their partner, their friend. Dead. Billy thought back on all he knew of her: her family life, developing as a hero, her friends, her spirit, her contributions. All of that culminating in one of the better people he'd known, never to be seen again. Never to be thanked for all she'd done, and even he saw this. Comparatively he hadn't known her extremely well, but she was one of his own. Like B5 had been.
It was that thought that drove Billy into another version of the attack simulation, wielding the gun from his fantasy once more. He'd thought he was going to call Jamie and Cassie for the victory after the crisis, but he would now be running the test alone. Soon enough, the moving targets were in place and the first shots were fired.
Blam. Blam. This time, it worked exactly as intended, but there was no joy left in Billy's heart to celebrate. Instead, he found himself lowering his gun arm and starting to cry.
"Cassie..."
((Open because he'll be mourning here for a little while, even knowing that everyone knows where he is. Renne's last chronologically for now, but I'll work out some semblance of chronology at the end. I don't wanna leave anyone out.))
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The suppressed tears finally beginning to fall were proof of that.
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He hasn't thought much on his own losses but in the wake of this, he recalls a song more recently heard than most others he knows. Somehow, this one reminds him of the Human in his arms, so he quietly offers it.
Ironically, it comes out much more smoothly than most of his English.
Calon lân yn llawn daioni,
Tecach yw na'r lili dlos:
Dim ond calon lân all ganu
Canu'r dydd a chanu'r nos.
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The song soothes him enough for the grief to slow, and in a quiet moment he silently asks about the meaning of what he's heard.
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Crafting the Sensorium into, as he puts it, 'whatever the Song wills', Renne extends two of his wings. With these, he offers perhaps something of abetter embrace.
A prayer. This, translate.
From his pocket, Renne pulls out the songbook he'd found with the words marked in clear English as well as the strange, fluid Welsh.
Heart that's clean and filled with virtue,
Fairer far than lilies white,
Only pure hearts praise God truly,
Praise him all the day and night.
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Cassie? Yeah, that was her. Not that anyone deserves to die, but she had a strong heart. That's why it hurts me so much to lose the opportunity to know her better.
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Nid wy'n gofyn bywyd moethus,
Aur y byd na'i berlau mân:
Gofyn wyf am galon hapus,
Calon onest, calon lân.
Calon lân yn llawn daioni,
Tecach yw na'r lili dlos:
Dim ond calon lân all ganu-
Canu'r dydd a chanu'r nos.
Pe dymunwn olud bydol,
Hedyn buan ganddo sydd;
Golud calon lân, rinweddol,
Yn dwyn bythol elw fydd.
Calon lân yn llawn daioni,
Tecach yw na'r lili dlos:
Dim ond calon lân all ganu-
Canu'r dydd a chanu'r nos.
Hwyr a bore fy nymuniad
Gwyd i'r nef ar edyn cân
Ar i Dduw, er mwyn fy Ngheidwad,
Roddi i mi galon lân.
Calon lân yn llawn daioni,
Tecach yw na'r lili dlos:
Dim ond calon lân all ganu-
Canu'r dydd a chanu'r nos.
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When the song nears its end, Billy squeezes out the last few tears and hugs Renne tightly, saying nothing else.
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And he intends to do just that. There's that look on his face that says "I've been making evil plottings to take care of you, feed you and otherwise utterly pamper you".
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He leans back to study his friend's face for a moment. "But...maybe this isn't the best place. There's a long line of people who want to use the Sensoriums, so maybe we should head back to the room."
Billy's still not okay. He won't be okay tonight. But at least he's released enough of the first wave of pain to move.
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He's got that tone that says "You'll have a blue shadow for a while yet." Offering a nuzzle, the Renne retracts his two wings and backs up so Billy can stand up.
no subject
He walks to the door, shutting down the simulation as they reach the door. Maybe he should have washed his face first, but he wasn't in a state to think about that at the moment.