trans_9 | Denial? Just a little bit.

Entry tags:

Denial? Just a little bit.

Who: Kaya, open to all.
Where: Sensoriums
Summary: Ed not remembering her is sort of the last straw, so she's getting her aggressions out.
Warnings: Um. Are there any? TBA, I guess?

But so much for that now. Right now Kaya, who had had a pretty bad last few months, found the last straw was bringing Ed back and having him not even recognizer her had been the last straw. Now she was just standing here, around a background of water and streams, and she was moving in a combination.

First there was her own bending. Smooth, flowing each movement into the other, legs supporting the base as arms and shoulders tensed and drew forward, calling the water up and around her, making waves into developed whips, turning that into solid substances and back again.

And then, when the Bene Gesserit came into play, that slowed but accurate action became quick, deliberate fast. Her body become a putty oin increments as she geared for offensive kicks and movement, pushing her body to the limits here. There was no turning back, no moment of reflection.

At this moment, Kaya wondered what would become of her training, if they would form a base of strength and bending even she didn't fully understand yet. She would put aside those feelings of helplessness, of pain she could not do more.

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"Oh?" She paused in her lavishing, looking at Fontaine. "What's made him distraught?"

She's hanging onto your hip, Nokosi. It seemed she missed you.

Nokosi lay still and stared up at Kaya, offering her no quick answer to her inquiry. His eyes shifted to Fontaine, who had taken it upon himself to get comfortable rather comfortable where he was seated--complete with his large, fluffy head resting against his paws.

"Nehaalista," he breathed, and raised a hand to tug at one of the coils of hair that framed her face until it was loosened from its bond.

Nokosi examined the bit of hair like it was the first time he'd seen it, or something like it. Rubbing the strands between his fingers, he tested the texture and nodded to himself as if he'd discovered something profound.

"She was sent back."

Kaya quietly took this in. Her and Nehaalista had no gotten along,. and she had wondered if it was her humanity that had gotten in the way of that, but that was unimportant right now. What was important, and she thought this at the time, was that Nokosi cared, and it hurt him, not having her around.

"I see," she said, and she DID: he had met her morose over many of the losses she had. They had been often, the result of looking at individuals in the crew, caring about them as a whole but really loving those ones that made her happy, that had made her happy to be in their company.

"When?"

He hummed in reply and placed the coil of hair against the curve of her cheek. "A bit of time back, or so I am lead to believe. It is hard to say with how time shifts, here. You know that better than I, though."

Kaya blushed a little here, She would not have said it aloud, but she liked how Nokosi paid special attention to little things like how the gentleness of hair against cheek, how these gentle caresses made things just a little more bearable, how there was a vulnerability in her and him here.

In her eyes, anyway.

"I try to keep track a little," she said. "So he still misses her? Poor Fontaine."

Granted, she wasn't just talking about him and Nokosi knew it.

The corners of his lips lifted into a modest smile when she blushed and he pressed three fingers against her cheeks to feel the warmth there. He saw it often washed across Billy and Ronnae's faces, but on Kaya's, it was like a small treat.

"Of course. She was the first non-elven person we met while in Stormwind--he took more interest in her than I, back then. Between my broken Common and her inability to speak, it was rather confusing; more than I cared to bother with. Fontaine felt differently, though."

Kaya knew, in a way, that the way she acted in regard to his touch seemed to inflame his sense just a bit more, and she found it strangely endearing. She could hear Sheeana lecturing her of course, about showing that kind of weakness without having a plan for it later, but of course it was where she and Sheeana differed.

"So he misses her, as they formed a bond fairly quickly. Poor Fontaine." She meant it too. "What is Stormwind?"

"Him and I, both. Despite our odd circumstances, we became the best of companions after some time. I would not have learned to communicate with her, had I not cared. Given her pepole's lifespan, I was fairly certain I had found a friend who would not age and die before my own time."

Nokosi paused to consider the weight of his own words and took that moment to smooth out a fold on her shoulder, with his hand. Once he was satisfied with the result, his gaze shot back up to meet hers.

"It is the center of the kingdom of Humans, and their capitol city. But...that is neither here nor there. I would much rather have the comfort of hearing your voice right now," he said, closing his eyes.

"Tell me about what you have done these last, few days."

"You two must have learned a lot about each other," Kaya said, with no air of jealousy. In fact, there was none: Kaya at least understood what it was like to find someone you really were in sync with, who made you feel less lonely.

Billy was her Brother. She knew it and accepted it readily, without question. Wouldn't it make sense that Nokosi meet someone who felt the same way about him, and naturally would see Kaya as a deterrent?

He touched her still, and she could only watch him happily but carefully, because what he said tended to make Kaya think, usually more than most.

"I've bandaged people up, been tired mostly, traded insults with Azula. Oh, and I met with someone on the ship who trained with me but doesn't know me now. It's perplexing."

Horrible.

"We did," came his curt reply. He wasn't actively attempting to be short with her, but while he tearfully lamented Nehaalista's reassignment to goopy slumber as much as he could or would at this point in time, Fontaine hadn't quite shook off his melancholy mood, yet.

"You have been very busy," he commented, tracing the hem on her sleeve as he did so. "Were you able to best your foe in your battle of wits, then? And this person--their mind has been fogged?"

Kaya didn't blame him for being melancholy: she was like that whenever someone she cared about went back to the pods. She walked over and stroked Fontaine's fur, just allowing him to feel her presence and letting him know she felt his pain. She had still not gotten over the lost of Zhin, not really.

"I tend to do that, with all the noise I hear on the ship," she said, looking more than a little dejected. "Oh, it never quite ends with me and Azula. It's enough to make you tired. As for the fog...no, he doesn't even remember being on the ship. It ended rather badly too."

Fontaine pressed his head against the comfort of her small hand in reply and his tail swept against the ground--just a bit--to show his appreciation for her affections.

"That is unfortunate. About your rival as well. I have never met her. Is she the sort who gains pleasure from arguing for the sake of argument?"

Kaya was more than happy to stroke his nose, meet him eye to eye, and show him that him being there to begin with was comfort to her. With Zhin gone, she began to really comprehend how much Fontaine and Nokosi were bonded to each other.

"You could say that. Granted, it doesn't help that she's crazy either. But she's one of the few people from my world that are still here. A part of me can't stop forgetting that."

"You have a kind heart, but this is no new knowledge."

Nokosi folded his hands over his abdomen and crossed his legs at his ankles in a bid to get more comfortable in his spot on the ground. His head rolled to one side to observe the attention she lavished on his companion, though it only served to spark up thoughts he would rather push to the side for the time being.

"It is understandable--it would be difficult to forsake one for that reason alone. Who knows, perhaps she is appreciative. Sure, she could have her verbal spars with others, I suppose, but I do not think some understands others quite as well as those from the same place." Though, given Azeroth's many races and cultures, that could be debatable.

"I just try to give back what I get, most of the time," Kaya said, but even she knew this wasn't entirely true. Kaya was just like this, preferring to look on the bright side rather than fall into frustration and despair. That was simply not her way. People here had gone through some of what she had, after all, so she would not give up easily just because things got a bit harder.

"Azula is a product of her environment," Kaya said blandly. "She was raised a princess to one of the most violent wars in our world. She was the right hand of our oppressor, and left to her devices, would have continued to do the same. What changed that was her defeat at the hands of my mentor, Katara, and I still have the memories of that day. The mania in her eyes, the intent to kill, the tears of fury and sadness at her loss. It is that coupled with her own lack of sanity that makes Azula who she is today. Even with Katara not being here, she sees me as her counterpart."

"I see. If anyone else were dropped into her shoes, I would guess they might have turned out the same way as well. Being aboard this ship and seeing you must be a daily reminder of how she failed," he casually remarked.

"Still, punishment aside, I suppose she has some self-restraint if she has not set out to kill you all."

"Unfortunately we do nothing but fight, constantly. But you're right, I guess. It's annoying: just by my existing, I cause HER pain, and by being around the Avatar crew I made things awkward. It's not exactly the best feeling in the world."

Nokosi laughs and nods his head. "Oh, well it certainly is a good thing, but I was not attempting to speak in her favor. Perhaps she is nicer than I, though, because I do not generally have such restraint." Sure, there was punishment to think about, but that would be a consequence that would be held later, rather than at that moment in time.

"I would imagine it is not, which is why you should not think much of it. It is her problem, not your own, and while I commend you for putting up with her and attempting to...be her friend? It should not weigh heavily on your shoulders."

"As it is, most of the people that would speak in her favor aren't here," Kaya said. "She is extremely fragile in some ways, and in others she's able to teach me things about myself I've been afraid to think about. I can't help but wonder if Sheeana would think Azula is exactly what I'd need to balance me."

She sighed. "I wish it were that simple. I could just leave her be to her own devices. But despite everything, I think she needs better than that."

"I see. In such a case, I think you ought to continue that. I am glad that you think that way--saying that she deserves better, rather than saying that she deserves the pity of others. For that, I praise your benevolence, " he said in an uncharacteristically serious tone.

"I do hope that your interactions with her are do leave her in the better, though, and that she maintains whatever fear or common sense is keeping her from raising a hostile hand to you. As I have said once this day; I do not generally have such restraint."

"Pity would just anger her," Kaya said. "Besides, the fact that she was vicious and bloodthirsty and cruel does not mean she isn't a warrior underneath all of that. She was one of the strongest benders in our four nations. Crazy or not, a part of her wants to be herself again." Kaya wouldn't call what she felt with Azula benevolence: it was more accurate to her to call it mutual respect. "I think our interactions are sort of changing each other, honestly. We snipe at each other, yet at the same time we're beginning to get to know how the other thinks." She did look surprised at this mention of restraint though. "How do you mean?"

He thought he'd been straightforward enough, but it looked as if he'd have to explain himself. "That is to say, the restraint to stay my hand in such a situation. I do not fear the repercussions of the future, only those of the present."

"I thought that was what you meant." The idea that Nokosi would do something like was both admirable and frightening. "But believe me when I say that I'd rather see you outside of the brig than in one. I am a big girl, and not so naive that I think Azula won't one day attack me. The thought almost always crosses my mind."

She did take his hand here, in case he thought she took offense to him wanting to protect her: it was quite the opposite.

Nokosi slid his fingers between her own, then pulled forward in an effort to bring her closer. He leveled his gaze on hers before speaking.

"I do not think you weak, Kaya. I do not think that you cannot take care of yourself, nor do I take you for gullible or a fool. I know you do not require my aid in matters such as this, but that is all besides the point."

"It isn't that," Kaya said, tightening her hands in his. "I have no doubt you wouldn't hold yourself back when it come something or someone you feel passionately about. More than anything, I really love you for that."

She leaned over, kissing him. "Which is why I don't want you to do it. With all that happens to me Nokosi, you've been a rock, and I care about you more than I do about anyone on the ship. The last thing I want is for you to be imprisoned, not being able to go wherever you want to on the ship. It's not in your nature."

Denial? Just a little bit.

Re: Elven greeting. "Good fortune to you," basically.

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