trans_9 | Bus Woes

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Bus Woes

Kaya had, upon beig able to live in the W.I.T.C.H. bus for the time being, happily cooked meals for the inhabitants where she could, pleased that she could finally do her part. Today, when she woke up, she hadn't seen Matt. Thinking he might be out for a Council related activity, Kaya had let this pass, exercising in Will's classroom, training her body, and then popping over to visit Billy. When she came back, she got the feeling that Matt was still gone, and she started to worry, just a little bit. She asked around for him, but no one, not even those on Council, had seen him that day. Still, she was willing to ignore this, wait because it wasn't possible. How could it be? He was a Concil member, he was the W.I.T.C.H. bus person, it wouldn't make sense.

But she knew it was true. Felt it as surely as if she'd been told, and she couldn; bear to be around anyone, bemoaning his loss. After all, these were feelings only she knew right now, that loss of something she'd had after she had weathered so many changes. She had not thought it possible to be this cruel, after all of that.

And so she wandered to the baths, stripping down and sinking into the baths. It was perfect: she coudl cry all she liked adstay underwater so no one was the wiser.

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He hummed in agreement. "Yes, sometimes having very long hair can be a pain but I quite like it." The elf allowed her to begin on one side while he worked with the other.

"Yes, they do need the free time. I spoke with Ronnae...there are many things that have been left unsaid because she does not wish to disturb his mood. If she does not bring them up soon enough, I think I might have to talk to him myself." He paused and glanced at her. "We can start today if you so wish."

"I like it too," Kaya said, smiling a little. "I know its rare for guys to have long hair, but I don't mind it at all. It's very pretty!"

And she painstakingly continued undoing the knots, taking care not to tug.

But this caught her attention, of course. It was Ronnae, someone she loved and considered a friend, and Billy, her own Bonded.

"What's been unsaid?"

It went without saying they would start immediately: Kaya liked a head start on things.

"Thank you," he replied. "I usually have to cut it every few years or so. If it has grown down to my thighs then it is generally too long to be anything but a bit of annoyance. Another foot and a half and it will be there."

If anything, he didn't seem as if he minded the occasional tug. In no time at all he'd straightened his side out and deftly began twisting the few braids that were visible throughout his usual ponytail.

"Things that she remembered during her childhood, things that have worried her, things from her time at home that he might be better off knowing. That sort." He paused for a moment, ear twitching slightly. "I will speak with her again, I think. It was enough that she was choked up about speaking of such things."

Kaya giggled. "In that case, I think I'm a little jealous. Even my hair isn't that long, and though we have it cut to make it manageable, I almost wish it were."

Once she was done, she smiled and handed him her side. "There you go. I hope I did a good job."

Kaya did look a little bothered by this, but it was Nokosi, after all, who knew Ronnae better than she did. "I hope in time she WILL tell him, and me, but only when she's ready. I just don't want her to suffer whatever those memories."

Nokosi repeated the small twists on the other side as well, then pulled the entire length to the side to twist it into one large braid. He pushed some of his still-wet bangs from his face and nodded. "Yes, thank you. You did a splendid job."

He stood and stretched his lithe limbs then walked to one of the shelves against the wall. "I am sure she will, perhaps when a bit more time has passed. I have never been the type to think that silence is better than simply dealing with one's problems, despite the joy, heartache or unhappiness they might cause."

The elf began replacing the dangling threads, long chains, trinkets and baubles that were his earrings. "So it is a bit difficult to sit upon the sidelines and simply wait for her to decide to get over her uncertainty."

"Thank you," Kaya said, taking a moment to step back and admire her (but mostly his) handiwork. She hadn't played with long hair for a very long time, not since she'd gone traveling all on her own and found little reason to go cutting at it. What would have been the point? But now that she cared more about grooming, she barely touched it: and on Nokosi, with his skin and tattoos and earrings, she thought they looked pretty nice.

She nodded. "I know what you mean. It may be awhile before Ronnae ever really wants to confide in me, but when she does, I'll make sure that I try leading her to decisions that would be better for her and Billy in the long run. They've had something special the moment they gave into their feelings: I want to make sure they stay as happy as they can, you know?"

"Indeed," he agreed, running his fingers across his long ears to double check his work. "I will not pretend that I know what makes for a good romantic relationship between two people but I have come to the understanding that expressing one's concerns is part of that."

Nokosi picked through the clothes that were folded along the shelf and plucked his pants from them. He slid one leg in at a time and pulled them up, lacing the leather ties in the front as he looked up at her.

"I will see if I have a shortbow in my home. I would simply let you use my longbow but it might be a bit difficult for a novice to use."

"No, you're definitely right about that," Kaya said, then concentrated what he said. "Wait, do you mean to tell me that in all of the years you've lived, you haven't had a romantic relationship? How is that possible?"

He really was something, that he was able to so engage her in conversation that she had completely gotten over the awkwardness of him being naked in front of her? Then again, he helped by barely acknowledging it himself.

"In that case, let's try for the shortbow."

His head tilted to the side slightly and he raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "Does that surprise you? I thought that I mentioned that I have only been among most of society a scant few years? Previously I stayed fairly deep in Ashenvale. The number of times I ran by others was fairly slim until the Orcs began encroaching on the land."

Nokosi pulled on his white shirt and pulled his leather tunic on top of that. Reaching behind him, he pulled the long braid from beneath the shirts and ran his hands down his chest, smoothing the fabrics there.

"Should you not be getting dressed as well?"

"So you mean to say that you didn't try to hook up with some nice Orc girl?" Kaya teased, sort of actually very curious about the answer to his question. "Well, I mean, its not a huge deal, so long as when you actually do date a girl, you find someone that really gets you. If you do, I think she'll be a lucky girl."

She laughed. "Oh, I can do that pretty easily! Drying off is easy enough." She brought her hand up, and then brought them down, all the water coming off instantaneously, and then started to put on her tunic.

"Until next time!"

"Oh, I did try multiple times. And multiple times with a nice elven girl as well. I would say I spent a good year and a half to two years attempting some sort of relationship beside friendship. I was turned down every single time.I would have tried with a nice Draenei girl as well but I am sure she would have both fled and bludgeoned me with her shield."

He bent down and lifted one of his boots, sliding his hands inside to make sure no small critters were inside. "To be fair to Ronnae, though I do not think she could have ever seen me as anything beyond a friend. She may accept me the way I am but I am still strange compared to her upbringing and we have very little in common. Despite that, our friendship is still quite strong."

Nokosi pulled the boot on and tilted his head up slightly so that he could look at Kaya. "Honestly, they were probably right in their decisions in the end. They were some of the first women in my adult life to truly care for not only my well being, but who I am as well and my ideals. Even if I tried my hardest, I do not think I would have been able to avoid having some feelings for them in such a sense," he explained.

"They were all demure women, though very good at combat. Reserved, smart, and very passive. Thinking back, I do not think some of those things would make for a very compatible significant other for me."

He stood up and wiggled a foot into his other boot just in time to see her slough the water from her form in one motion. "Cheater," he simply said, a toothy grin adorning his face.

"Well at least you have SOME experience, right? I would say mine was a bit better, but you already know how that wound up going. If anything, most of my experience was with Matt, and that was unfortunately a very short time, along with a bunch of angst and guilty feelings. At least you've had an honest attempt?"

She laughed. "Oh, I've talked with Ronnae a little bit about what she's used to, and I think I'm going to have to be agree with you. You guys are definitely great friends though, from what I've seen."

But that part about being demure: what exactly did he mean by that? She didn't know why, but she was honestly curious about what it was that made them incompatible with Nokosi. "What do you mean by demure? How are they able to be that AND be good in combat?"

She giggled, shooting some water at him playfully. "I use what I have to my advantage. It's smart!"

"Oh yes, yours would be better as I have yet to succeed." Well there was that one time he did get to kiss the elven girl. But that ended with a fireball down the throat; a memory he was willing to forget.

"Demure as in characterized by being prim, proper, coy, modest, timid and shy. Those things. Regardless of that they both still would pick up a weapon and put in the necessary sweat and work that was necessary to master it and fight in the battles that were necessary."

Kaya laughed. "Well, maybe what you need to do is find the right person! I mean, there are plenty of different kinds of people on the ship: maybe you just need to find the right one. Who knows? Maybe they won't BE elven or orcish, or even from your world. She might be something completely different!"

She considered that a moment. "Actually, that sounds a little bit like how Ronnae is, doesn't it? I guess that explains why the two of you didn't hook up after all. But I don't know ow anyone could act prim and proper and still deal with their fair share of wars. Things like that tend to broaden your scope of understanding a little bit, makes you see how silly it is to act like that."

"I have no preference to what their race is or where they come from as emotions rarely make a distinction unless you are forcing them to. As far as the people on the ship go, I am not actively looking for a relationship. Like most things in my life, when it comes it will come and I will begin my adventures on that path, then."

To her second statement he only shook his head in disagreement. "I do not think so. Her father is very proper and well kept, always making sure that he looks his best when possible. He has a very good explanation as to why he is, other than being vain but from what I have seen most blood elves do tend to be vain. They are a beautiful people after all."

He paused, attempting to think of a way to clarify. "Many in her family take the time for grooming beyond the norm as it is what they are taught. A reflection of one's inner self."

Once again, it was one of those things she understood after talking with him awhile, and liking what she heard. Kaya had to admit that there had been many people who had come and gone here on Stacy, yet Nokosi happened to be one of those people she could talk to for a prolonged amount of time just so she could hear his answers to what he had seen.

As it was, and she still did not know why, him saying that abut races made her feel relieved somehow.

"A part of me has always been looking, whether I realize it or not," Kaya confessed. "I'm not sure if it happened because of my mentor's memories or because I was lonely, but I always hoped that I would find someone I could share time with, someone special. I did not know how I would find it, but if I did, I should cherish it for however long I had it. Knowing that, I suppose mourning over Matt might seem silly.?"

It wasn't, not even a little to her, but she knew when sensibility was concerned, Matt would never want her in pain like this over him.

She laughed at this. "Do they? Hmm. Ronnae failed to mention this to me. I think I'll ask her about it someday!"

"Hm. I do not think so." He motioned Fontaine over with a flick of the wrist and the wolf was already up and bounding towards his master.

"If it is something that is precious to you, you would want to keep it close to you. If it is gone there is still no reason not to cherish those things that you held dear. Even if it is not readily apparent, those things, however small, are a part of what makes you you at this singular moment in time."

Nokosi scratched behind the wolf's ears before motioning him to the door. "Going by such a logic, it is no wonder why you would be sad, Kaya."

As Kaya was climbing out, Zhin came from behind, nudging her charge until Kaya finally gave in and scratched at the girl's neck.

"For several years, I was pining for a man who was not mine. Every time he would arrive, he'd be taken away again. I knew the sacrifices he made, yet somehow we were always kept apart. When I realized Matt's feelings, I understood what it was like to have someone care for me that was actually in the picture, that I could touch and hold and dance with. The feelings for him and the man that was truly my mentor's love ripped at me inside, and was not resolved until Stacy gave me back my true memories."

She hugged Zhin a moment. "When I realized I was free to love Matt as much as I wanted, without guilt, I could feel there was something pulling him away from me somehow, and then he was podded. I suppose a part of me sensed it was happening, but I didn't want to believe it: how, after all I had been put through, could I believe they would take Matt too?"

It was what she had not told anyone: a part of her felt it coming but she was running with all her might that it was possible.

"When those feelings arise, that is the point in which you need to hold on the tightest, I think, even when you know there is naught to be done. You are prepared...but even then. That is still not enough to soften the blow you know will come."

He turned to look at her, a look of understanding in his eyes. "I can identify with that feeling."

Kaya shook her head, and Zhin whined quietly, putting her head on Kaya's hand and licking her palm a moment. Looking into the space dog's eyes helped, a very little, but it was something.

"I'm still holding into those feeling he gave me, the time we danced, the picnics, his singing. They might seem small and insignificant to some people, but they meant the world to me. I think I'll still hear him, even if I do get better from this."

She was a little startled at this revelation though. "You can?"

A soft laugh escaped his lips and he simply nodded. "Perhaps not in the manner of being in love as you speak of, but I think that the regular, old feeling of having love for one is applicable in such a sense, too."

He patted Fontaine fondly as he spoke. "Almost all of my life, barring the last five years, the only companions, friends and family I have had have been denizens of the forest in which I resided. I loved them as one would love their friends, their families. The fact that they did not have a mouth to speak with or hands with which to hold did not matter a bit. They held the same worth as you or even Ronnae. This is probably why I also see death much differently than you all."

Nokosi raised a questioning eyebrow at the girl before him. "How long do you suppose an animal lives? Five years? Ten? Twenty to thirty if they are a larger animal. That is only a fraction of most humanoid's lifespan and an almost inconsequintal portion of an elf's."

He paused. "I have lived in the forests for more than a century and a half. How many times do you think I have watched my allies, my friends, my family die? Animals always know when their time is up and others can tell as well. They tend to want to be surrounded by those they care for or be off, alone in their final moments."

A small smile rose to his lips. "So yes. I can identify with that feeling of omen. Wanting the world to stop so that you can still hold on to all that you hold dear but knowing that in the end there is very little you can do to stop the wheels of time from turning."

Kaya looked apologetic, but listened as he told her how he felt feelings akin to her own. Her eyes widened as she realized, being raised in the isolation that he had, he would naturally bond with all of the animals around him, much as Aang had bonded to the one animal that knew him best. She remembered how Katara had told her how bad it had been for Aang when Appa had been kidnapped those many years ago: she could only imagine how bad it must have been for Nokosi, living such a long time.

"I didn't think of that, but it does explain a lot. But yes, I realize animals don't live as long as you do, yet you must have made friendships of your own in the forests. And to have accepted death as something natural, and make the choice to be alone or with those you cared for in your life: that would be a bit of a better way to go about it."

She nodded. "No I don;t suppose there's much I can do to stop things from ending up the way that they have. I wanted to have the chance to say everything I could to Matt before he was podded. But the last few days were still very good for us: we spent that time happy and honest with each other. Maybe one day I'll get to have that again."

"Exactly. It means there is no reason you need regret the things that you did not say. Simply cherish the things that you did. But," he said, following Fontaine to the exit, "I think you know that and I believe you will come to terms with it all far quicker than you may have thought."

"As for having that again? Ellistree has told me again and again that there is someone out there for everyone, time and time again. I am not so sure I am inclined to believe that bit of whimsical thinking, but time gives way to stranger things."

"I know I will, and I know that these feelings, as bad as they hurt right now, are there because of how much he meant to me. Because of that, I know that I'll never forget him and all that he made me feel. Now, at least, I know how something that real feels."

She was still hurting, but she knew that would heal in time.

"Well I'm inclined to agree with her: someone for you AND someone for me. It may not happen how we expect it, but who knows? Now that we're a little older and wiser, it'll be easier than we thought."

"Older and wiser? Well, I would say that I have much, much more to learn as many of the experiences I have yet to have, nearing 200 years of life, other races have experienced them in less than two decades. But considering the length of time we have upon the ship, I am sure I will learn them sooner than later."

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