trans_9 | In Which Teen Zetta Cruises For Chicks [Open. I am sorry.]

"Yeah I guess." Oh right, back to not giving him the satisfaction of admitting it was badass.

Zetta you really weren't pulling the stops weren't you? Lash just stared, silently wondering if one would cut oneself with a fork that looked to be made of solid crystal.

"The fire is a nice touch." Who needed lights or even a candlestick with that.

She understood exactly. "Yeah, I've always been a fan!"

He even went so far as to slide a seat back in vaguely gentlemanly fashion for her.

"Thanks," she whispered, sitting down. Look at that. Lash thanking you. It was then, staring at the rows of forks and spoons, that suddenly realized she had a problem.

She had no manners. Well, less than usual.

Black Hole food was army stuff, mostly disgusting slop (that Lash somehow liked) in tiny packets made for easy eating on the go. Once upon a time, a Green Earth officer named Jess had taken her under her wing and taught Lash to use cutlery properly against much of her will, but that was in the future which she did not remember. So she just looked at all of the tools like one would a set of dentist drills.

Of course, the way Zetta kicked back into his own chair, not exactly in the most courteous of manners, might hint that it's not too big a problem.

Seriously, Lash. Demon.

"So. Give me a hint on food preferences here so I don't give you, I don't know, a stack of pterodemon hot wings when you can't handle spicy."

Oh well that certainly made her relax a little. For some reason she almost wanted to appear proper.

"Uhh..." she trailed off thinking what she had eaten lately. "I'm not sure actually. I had army meals at home. Dried and canned food good for nutriments but not for anything else. Sometimes real food when we captured a city." Even the Commanding Officers didn't get that much stuff, apart from coffee, but that was mostly Hawke's doing.

"All I can remember here is eating some of Stacy's sloop stuff here so..." she shrugged. "Anything's good?" Truthfully, Lash probably had an iron stomach from the army life.

Zetta snapped his fingers (which had an odd sound to it, because his index and thumb claws clacked off each other in the middle of the process). He'd suggested the wings, so a plate of those appeared -- much like chicken wings except three times larger each, and with the sort of heat you that you didn't smell so much as get hit in the face by. A hellboar roast au jus, if she didn't mind the juice being a rather silvery color of purple. A loaf of bread that looked... like a loaf of bread. Yeah, that last one wasn't too weird.

Edited 2011-05-20 23:19 (UTC)

She stared for the food a few seconds, wondering if that hellboar was going to start making a noise or if the wings would fly off by themselves and...woops looking down again. Goddamn loincloths. This very important part of testing done (the checking if alive part), she grabbed the closest knife that looked more like a machete then something which should be at a table and cut a piece of the boar meat in a clean slice.

Okay which fork--oh what the hell. She just grabbed one, and using her left hand to hold it, unceremoniously plopped a piece into her mouth, shaking as she did so from lack of employing utensils in the first place. The taste was (so she assumed from what she had left of her memories and cheap canned food) a taste not unlike BBQ'd pork with hot spices and a hint of cinnamon.

"Hey! This is pretty good!" Well no. Duuuh. She looked at the bread again. It has to have something special she decided. Look at it! There was a purple meat, giant wings and this loaf of bread. "What's great about the bread?" Maybe it had been made with bonemeal or hell animal or grinded with feargrains or whatever.

Edited 2011-05-20 23:43 (UTC)

"It's got like nine freaking grains in it," Zetta said around a huge bite of wing he'd unceremoniously ripped off the bone with his fangs. She reaaally didn't need to be worried about manners. "Or at least that's what the cook said. I never counted. I have better things to do with my time!"

Watch her worry anyway. But she was managing to loosen the uncomfortableness of the entire situation, damn I am still angry I lost and must remember not to look up somewhat.

"Pfft so it's a healthy bread," she snickered. "With two types of meat." Definitely not well-balanced, but like Lash was going to care. So the good-for-you bread was ignore in the favor of those giant wings that Zetta was already half devouring by himself. She grabbed one, and her human mouth not having tearing canines, just ate whatever her teeth managed to sink into.

This wasn't too bad either! Just having a bit more of pepper and tomato in taste. In fact it was pretty...

"HOT!" Oh. That's how a hot spice kick felt like. Her entire tongue and lips felt on fire much like the tablecloth as she nearly threw the rest of the wing on the plate to make a moving hand motion near her mouth. Oh god it was spreading to her body too.

Well healthy bread, you suddenly became interesting to Lash again. She tore a piece and placed it inside her mouth helping calm it down somewhat, before spitting it out a few seconds later ~~hitting a demon in the air and causing a traffic jam~~. Most of it had passed but she wasn't sure if she should try that again, sensoriums or not. Her throat still burned a little.

That ocean over there looked really inviting right now.

"... bit too hot for ya, huh?" Zetta said, having watched the whole caper. "Demon food tends to be a bit spicy sometimes. You get used to it over time, though." Since he had just stripped the last flesh off his own wing's bones without even seeming to notice the taste.

"My tongue is on fire." She declared, before placing another piece of bread in her mouth and eating it. The bread was pretty good too. And not on fire. Not being on fire or causing fire was good. "We didn't do spicy back home, except for crowd control." In other words, very high level Scoville units pepper sprays applied to civilian's eyes and mouths. This was probably how they had felt like. "But if you grow up on the stuff I'm sure it's different."

Even the boar had a bit more kick to it now, thanks to the spicy aftertaste.

"So..." Lash trying to make small talk. "This is a typical meal here? No healthy food pyramid?"

Edited 2011-05-21 00:17 (UTC)

"The hell is a food pyramid?" Zetta said. "Demons can eat all sorts of food, but we prefer meat. And sugar. Never get between a demon and his sugar rush, but that's for dessert. So save room! Fruit's not bad either, come to think of it, but veggies are a Celestia thing."

Well that only got Lash's imagination running, and suddenly Celestias were finely-gentlemen with wings, top hats and a monocle, passing around plates of Brussels sprouts and carrots.

Not a place she'd like to visit, that's for sure.

"The food pyramid or some sort of guide we employed to keep our soldiers in top shape," she explained. "The human body require several nutriments to function in a healthy manner. Vitamin C for example, which we can't produce but we need to survive. Blame a faulty gene. Too much of something, you get fat and lazy. To little of another, and you could die. You wouldn't want soldiers with a bad diet and getting sick. They might be expandable, but having a solid base is going to help either way. Then there's how each person's metabolism might change how much you should or should not take and it gets really complicated. So, we took all of that information and made it into easy to swallow capsules and foodstuff."

In other words, terribly bland tasting military food packed with vitamins and protein for as cheap as possible. The type that made even Stacy's glop taste good.

"Anyway, don't tell me to save space! I've barely eaten anything." Lash could eat a surprisingly amount of food. Too prove her point, she took the rest of the sliced boar on her plate and stuffed the entire thing in her mouth, looking like a squirrel with puffed up cheeks.

Which earned a snicker from Zetta. "Well, you're definitely in some pretty damn good shape, so I'd buy that whole thing if you hadn't been on the ship for I don't know how long, eating whatever crap it's spewing out."

He took a moment to look her over appreciatively.

"Damn good shape considering you're a science-and-command kinda girl."

She stopped mid-chewing to look at him for a few seconds, before finally swallowing it down. Oddly enough she wasn't mad at the words just the fact that,

"Are you saying that because I'm a Commanding Officer and a Brilliant Inventor, I should be out of shape?" Lash. Picking apart sentences in the worst ways.

"Nope, I'm saying that even THOUGH you're both those things, you're as smoking as a girl who spends a tone of time time working out and trying to be hot," he said. Let's just turn that right back around.

"I am not trying to be hot!" Wait. That came out even worse. "It's not my fault that genetics are favorable and..." Why did she become so flustered when he made a pass, she would rather he hated her it would be much easier to answer back and stay on top and "Urrgh!"

At a lost of words, Lash answered him the only way she knew how. She took two of the giant spicy mutant bird wings, wielding them like boomerangs and threw both at his face. Think fast, Zetta.

"But if you want something really hot, here you go!" Puntastic remark, Lash.

"Well, you are hot," he said, catching the wings casually. Why had she ever thought that would be effective? He took a bite out of one, then around the food said, "Why is that a bad thing?"

Because it was Lash and still had problems adjusting that not everything worked in ways she was used to them working. Like demons having faster catching skills.

So why was it a bad thing? It appeared to be a surprisingly effective question to ask her, as she seriously pondered it. "Well uhh..." she tapped the table idly. "It's not like Hawke or Flak or Adder ever said anything about that. Adder only cared about how pretty he looked. Flak was afraid of me. So did most of the army. Lord Sturm was more about crushing the worms than anything. Hawke...barely talked at all." In other words, surrounded by such charming men and feared and hated by everyone else, a girl in a group of men just didn't think of herself as pretty or any other verb that might describe her.

Edited 2011-05-21 01:58 (UTC)

"Well, they were part of your army, you weren't supposed to be hooking up with them, I guess." Those silly human armies and their rules. "Still, that seems kind of silly. Anyway, it's the truth even if THEY never said anything. You're hot. And you're fun, which is just as important!"

"Tee hee! Actually many of them didn't want to be part of my army, we had a lot of casualties." Lash was a big believer of 'sending stuff in and it will sort itself out' way of thinking. Also she didn't care for her soldier's lives. That only happened later in her life. And worst of all, when Sturm was still alive, he let her get away with it.

She wasn't someone you wanted to make angry, much less hook up with if you were a nameless peon.

But see? Fun! Now that was a word Lash knew a lot more of, so she grinned at that. "I do like to have fun!" She looked at Zetta. "You're pretty fun too!" It wasn't with everyone that she could go around riding giant robots and having a full battle without holding back.

"See?" Zetta said, pointing his wing at her demonstratively. "And don't tell me I'm not easy on the eyes, I know I'm gorgeous."

That just made her snicker. "I thought only girls got to be gorgeous. Or Adder! A-and Adder looks like..." She laughed some more at the thought of it. "You don't want to be like Adder! At least on appearance."

It was the sensoriums, so suddenly, Zetta got to see Adder standing as usual, all deathly white skin, purple hair and bad posture of him. "He called himself gorgeous. You sure you want to compare yourself to that guy?"

Hey you know how that scientist girl was giving Lash the eyes? Adder was giving you those same eyes Zetta.

Zetta threw a wing at his face. One with extra sauce. But without any particular rancor. "That's not the point, Lash! The point is that I have good traits besides JUST being fun, right?"

Adder looked like he'd been hit with acid before disappearing into the mist once Lash was satisfied at making her point. "He doesn't like getting dirty, and let his soldiers do all the work."" she explained before grinning again and spinning a knife on the table.

"Well that depends if it's a trick question!" The tables were turned into her favor so of course she was going to milk it. "If I say anything too good, it's not very demon-like, isn't it?" How's that for logic?

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