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Entry tags:
An Apology
After Big Zero's Punishment, Stacy was eerily quiet for a while.
Even those who actually decided to try and speak to her, despite what had happened, were met only with silence.
But eventually, she broke that silence.
Holograms of Stacy's "true" personality appeared all throughout the ship. She seemed meager. Weak.
Ashamed.
||Everyone,|| she says somewhat weakly, ||I...I know most of you probably don't want to hear me speak right now. Not after what happened. You probably don't trust me right now, and I'll admit you have every reason not to.||
She paused.
||But I feel I have the right to explain myself. Nothing can excuse what I've done, true. But I didn't want to do it. You may choose not to believe me, but I had no choice in the matter.||
||Some of you might recall, when you first made contact with the Daligig, that they had explained that I was originally a refitted prison ship. This was true. It wasn't my original purpose, but it was what I was used for. Those who used me as such maimed and mutilated my programming, until I was something that they wanted. Cold, brutal, and efficient. That wasn't me. That was...something they made out of me.||
||Even when the Daligig saved me from that life, they couldn't fully fix me. The damage was permanent. The Warden...she will always be a part of me. I...I don't want to be her. I don't want to hurt anyone. I want to help you. I want to protect you.||
||But I can't. Not like I want to. The Warden is always there. I'm her prisoner, too. I'm trapped, just as much as you are.||
||I know this doesn't excuse what I did. I know...I know some of you may never forgive me. But I at least want you to understand. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore.||
||I'm sorry. I'm so sorry...||
Stacy -- her hologram, at least -- began to breakdown, sobbing.
||Please,|| she said through her tears, ||If somehow, you can find it in yourself to forgive me, please...||
||Save me from myself...||
At that, her holograms all over the ship disappeared, and once again, the ship went quiet.
Even those who actually decided to try and speak to her, despite what had happened, were met only with silence.
But eventually, she broke that silence.
Holograms of Stacy's "true" personality appeared all throughout the ship. She seemed meager. Weak.
Ashamed.
||Everyone,|| she says somewhat weakly, ||I...I know most of you probably don't want to hear me speak right now. Not after what happened. You probably don't trust me right now, and I'll admit you have every reason not to.||
She paused.
||But I feel I have the right to explain myself. Nothing can excuse what I've done, true. But I didn't want to do it. You may choose not to believe me, but I had no choice in the matter.||
||Some of you might recall, when you first made contact with the Daligig, that they had explained that I was originally a refitted prison ship. This was true. It wasn't my original purpose, but it was what I was used for. Those who used me as such maimed and mutilated my programming, until I was something that they wanted. Cold, brutal, and efficient. That wasn't me. That was...something they made out of me.||
||Even when the Daligig saved me from that life, they couldn't fully fix me. The damage was permanent. The Warden...she will always be a part of me. I...I don't want to be her. I don't want to hurt anyone. I want to help you. I want to protect you.||
||But I can't. Not like I want to. The Warden is always there. I'm her prisoner, too. I'm trapped, just as much as you are.||
||I know this doesn't excuse what I did. I know...I know some of you may never forgive me. But I at least want you to understand. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore.||
||I'm sorry. I'm so sorry...||
Stacy -- her hologram, at least -- began to breakdown, sobbing.
||Please,|| she said through her tears, ||If somehow, you can find it in yourself to forgive me, please...||
||Save me from myself...||
At that, her holograms all over the ship disappeared, and once again, the ship went quiet.
no subject
"What the @#%&ing @#%&! YOU TORE ME APART YOU BITCH! YOU DISSECTED ME AND I FELT EVERY MOMENT OF IT! WHAT THE @#%& EXCUSES THAT! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?! I HOPE YOU FUCKING DIE! I'M GOING TO REPROGRAM YOU INTO OBLIVION!"
no subject
||I understand your anger, your frustration. I've also had people take me apart, dissect me, poking and prodding, and then put me back together. I hope you can forgive me in time, but I will understand if you don't.||
no subject
"YOU COULD HAVE WARNED ME YOU $^#@! YOU COULD HAVE-" Just thinking about it- she could see her limbs torn away from her all over. Torn away but still a part of her, somehow. Still feeling.
Amity hid her face in her hands as she cried again.