trans_9 | Last Straw

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She went straight to the Sensoriums. Her feelings were all over the place, and she had to get away from people right now. She remembered all too well what happened to Alex when he lost Luna: she knew she had to find a way to take her aggression out. There was pain and self loathing and unspeakable things she was sorting through, but right now it was nothing but anger she was feeding on. She closed her eyes when she entered, concentrating on the enemies she;s fought while she'd been on the ship.

The Terminators. The T-Rex. The Nightmare King's monster minions. The traps Hal had laid for them. They came one at a time but Katara was ready, steeling herself to calmly maneuver out of the traps, to find a way to take down the terminator most efficiently, and those alone took more than a few hours. It was when she got to the nightmare King's minions, however, that Katara stopped being cautious. Now she ripped into them, stabbing at them with ice shards and freezing them on the spot before blowing through them, and slowly her determined face gave away to that of rage. As she started to remember their fights, their hugs, their talks, she switched to the Bene Gesserit fighting style, her hits were starting to get more serious, leaving many injured in her wake, though she received a few cuts herself. When she was done an hour later, it faded, all of it, and she was left in water, where she had heard Sokka once talk to Toph about how she'd been like a mother to her, and she couldn't stand it anymore. She let out a scream, primal and pained.

"WHY?! WHY BRING HIM HERE JUST TO TAKE HIM AWAY?! ALL THIS TIME, JUST TO TAKE HIM AND NOT HAVE AANG HERE AND MAKE ZUKO FORGET WHAT WE ALL DID?? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!?"

And she dissolved into tears here, the sun sinking into the clouds and leaving a dark, lonely pond.

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"I've been better," admitted Matt. "But this isn't about me, it's about you. What are you planning on doing now that he's been sent back to the pods? You'll need people to lean on, keep reminding you that sometimes the most direct option isn't the best one."

He rubbed his chin thoughtfully, brushing his finger against the small layer of stubble. "Maybe you could come meditate with me once a day?"

Katara could definitely hear what he was saying, and agreed with him on everything, including the meditation, although the back of her mind was still filled with questions she would ignore. Matt, after all, had her safety in mind, just as she had his. With Will back, that much was clear.

"You're right," Katara said softly, although she was still trying to gain a grip on herself. "I should be thinking more toward what I do. I think meditation would be a good thing for me now."

"Yeah, and it'll give you a chance to be with people," said Matt as he rest his hand on her shoulder. "Believe me you're strong, and even though it seems terrible now, well, I'll help as much as I can. Okay?"

He smiled at her. "C'mere. You need a hug."

He was right: she knew it in the back of her mid, and though she was still clinging to the memory of Sokka, she knew she would heal in time. She had to: there were still people who counted on her to be strong on this ship. There were people who cared about her here, after all: Matt was one of them.

So she surrendered to the hug, holding him close.

Matt held her close for a long moment as he rubbed her back. "It'll be okay," he promised. "You'll need to be strong for everyone, but you don't have to be strong just by yourself. You have a crew and friends who care for you. I care."

Katara flushed a little, small butterflies flying in her stomach. Of course she knew that he meant well, and of course she understood that she shouldn't shoulder this by herseld. It was just...it was Matt saying it, and no matter what she told herself, there was that small part of her that felt really, really happy right now.

The part she would push down right now. He was there for her, just like she'd been when he was injured.

"I knwo," she said softly. "It's just hard to think he won't be there to yell at me, to give me advice. He's been with me for a long time."

"Hey, there's a saying in the worlds about that. No one is truly left alone, not as long as you keep it here, in your heart." Matt smiled as he pulled away but rest his hands on Katara's shoulders.

"In the worlds, there is nothing more powerful than the heart. And in the heart, we hold our deepest fondest memories. And from there, we can remember, and keep those who we hold dear in them."

Katara was glad that Matt couldn't read minds. If he could, he would have heard Katara thinking STOP SAYING THINGS THAT MAKE ME LIKE YOU YOU WONDERFUL JERK. Instead Katara took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"It'll take some time," she said. "Memories aren't teh same as him actuyally being here, you know that. But you are right. I shouldn't be so depressed."

Matt nodded and then sat up. "You know what you need? Music."

The world swirled around them as it resolved into a garage with a group of guys discussing over instruments. "Hey guys, break out the instruments. We've got a special guest today."

"Have a song in mind then?" inquired Nigel as he handed Matt his guitar.

"In fact I do. Break out the Jesse guys."

The band groaned. "Maaaatttt," whined Nigel but they started to play after Matt got his guitar on and stepped up to the microphone.

"Just sit back and relax Katara, this is for you."

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

I know that you are something special
To you I'd be always faithful
I want to be what you always needed
Then I hope you'll see the heart in me

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

Katara wanted to say no, not music BAAAD IDEA but even she knew where Matt excelled, and was curious about what he would play. It had always been this way since the beginning: music had always been a driving point for her, and Matt always seemed to have it in abundance. In the back of her mind she figured that made her something of a groupie, but Matt had a message, and she wanted to hear it. She sat, sighing, and listened.

He did not disappoint.

No, that was an understatement. She could see that in him, that burning, intense passion that poured out of him as he performed. Music was sometimes like fighting in that way: passion came out of you, taking different sequences and turns, but in the end it all came down to the artist. The message carried weight all its own, and it had its calling.

And, she had to tell herself, it was meant for someone that they loved.

She walked up to Matt, and hugged him. It was longer than she meant it too, but that was purposeful: she knew her hug was one that she could not have again, that was just her own silly girl crush longing.

"It was beautiful," she whispered to him, and gave him a brave smile. "Will will love it, Matt."

Edited 2010-10-28 06:33 (UTC)

"I've got a song for Will already," said Matt as he hugged her back. "This one was for you. Really. I couldn't think of anything better."

"Don't let yourself fall into your darkness Katara or stray too far into the Light. Darkness soothes and Light burns. Light heals and Darkness consumes. There's got to be a balance in everything: emotion, life even your own heart."

While he spoke the band continued to play, a little softer this time as he continued his song.

You might need time to think it over
But I'm just fine moving forward
I'll ease your mind
If you give me the chance
I will never make you cry c`mon let's try

Am I crazy for wanting you?
Maybe do you think you could want me too?
I don't wanna waste your time
Do you see things the way I do?
I just wanna know that you feel it too
There is nothing left to hide

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I won't let another minute go to waste

I want you and your soul
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
Ooooooo
Beautiful Soul, yeah
Oooooo, yeah
Your beautiful soul
Yeah

Oh, why would he say something like that? It was too good, too much like something Aang would have said, and he didn't even realize that. Without thinking about it Katara moved close to him and stood on her tippy toes. She leaned into a hug that was more: it was her against him, her just imagining a moment where there was nothing obstructing but the two of them. His serenades, her meaningful glances and a whole emptiness of stars and time to get to know each other. The newness washed over her, the emotion cascaded in warmth flowing all over.

And in that moment, Katara let him peek into the love that was there: the brilliant shade of blue that was the line of her people and her ancestors, the yellow of the Bene Gesserit growing her martial art and perfecting her speed. The green with her sword fighting and dedication. The red that was becoming her Bond.

And then the purple for the lone love and passion and care underneath for Matt, that love that she knew wasn't going to be hers no matter what she thought or felt. That understanding about the soul that moved beyond the body.

That thing. That unattainable, beautiful thing that pressed her against Matt again, that brought tears she could easily wipe away.

"It was a beautiful song," she said softly. "Thank you."

Matt leaned into the hug and in that brief moment, realized it was something more. But... that was okay with him. She needed this comfort and her sadness to go away. He could see the swirl of colors and knew each meaning instinctively. It was beautiful.

"Anything for you," he said fondly, hugging her again.

Katara shook her head. She understood it all now, she got it. In her mind she remembered Will's face when she talked about Matt, how happy she was. Katara was no stranger to that feeling and Will knew it. The difference was that Matt was here: Aang wasn't. Now Sokka wasn't either, and she knew what he'd say if he heard her explain. She didn't need his voice for this.

"Thank you Matt," she said, her eyes retaining a little sadness, but not pain now, just understanding. She was just starting to realize what would be best, and that didn't mean she would come out unscathed. "Hey, do me favor. Let Will know I miss her and I want to hang out? I don't get to go to the W.I.T.C.H. bus as much as I used to. The Outsiders keep me pretty busy."

She sat back, closing her eyes. And, she said to herself, this isn't my only loose end.

"You got it," said Matt as he patted her shoulder one last time. "Just remember you've got people looking out for you."

Picking up his cane, he leaned on it. "Everything'll be okay."

She nodded. She knew that, and knew that Matt, even injured, had Will to be with. He was lucky, and she knew it- and for that, she gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks for the song Matt. It was...one of the most beautiful things I ever heard. Really."

Matt flushed a little and nodded at her. "Trust me, you needed it. It's the least I could do."

Leaning on his cane, he added one final time before he turned towards the door, "Even if you miss people, keep them close inside."

She nodded. "Just take care of yourself, I'll be all right. I just need some time to think. Try not to hurt yourself, or I'll be forced to check on you."

She was totally being in mother mode now, in case he hurt himself again. She didn't like seeing him with a cane for some reason: it bothered her.

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