trans_9 | Last Straw

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Last Straw

She went straight to the Sensoriums. Her feelings were all over the place, and she had to get away from people right now. She remembered all too well what happened to Alex when he lost Luna: she knew she had to find a way to take her aggression out. There was pain and self loathing and unspeakable things she was sorting through, but right now it was nothing but anger she was feeding on. She closed her eyes when she entered, concentrating on the enemies she;s fought while she'd been on the ship.

The Terminators. The T-Rex. The Nightmare King's monster minions. The traps Hal had laid for them. They came one at a time but Katara was ready, steeling herself to calmly maneuver out of the traps, to find a way to take down the terminator most efficiently, and those alone took more than a few hours. It was when she got to the nightmare King's minions, however, that Katara stopped being cautious. Now she ripped into them, stabbing at them with ice shards and freezing them on the spot before blowing through them, and slowly her determined face gave away to that of rage. As she started to remember their fights, their hugs, their talks, she switched to the Bene Gesserit fighting style, her hits were starting to get more serious, leaving many injured in her wake, though she received a few cuts herself. When she was done an hour later, it faded, all of it, and she was left in water, where she had heard Sokka once talk to Toph about how she'd been like a mother to her, and she couldn't stand it anymore. She let out a scream, primal and pained.

"WHY?! WHY BRING HIM HERE JUST TO TAKE HIM AWAY?! ALL THIS TIME, JUST TO TAKE HIM AND NOT HAVE AANG HERE AND MAKE ZUKO FORGET WHAT WE ALL DID?? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!?"

And she dissolved into tears here, the sun sinking into the clouds and leaving a dark, lonely pond.

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Beastboy was silent for the longest time watching Katara work through her anger.

It was always difficult to figure out just how to respond to a woman crying. Beastboy was almost sure that every man that ever was had a secret panic button that was instantly pressed when a woman started to cry.

Would it be better if he just left her alone? Raven always insisted on being alone when she was upset. Starfire was usually the opposite though and if she had to be upset she would let it all out.

Finally as quietly as he could he slipped into the water as a fish and slid up behind her shifting back and gently placing a hand on her back to let her know she wasn't alone.

"There isn't a reason," said an entirely-too-familiar voice from nearby.

No, of course Zetta hadn't come to comfort her immediately on hearing of her loss. Don't suggest stupid things like that! That's just... stupid. He's a demon. And an Overlord. He doesn't do that.

Still, there's the book, standing at the edge of the water, looking at her. "And there's nothing anyone wants of you to make it stop. You know that. It's a stupid, crappy thing that just happened."

At least she wasn't attacking the pod cavern...

The sound. The very feel of a bombardment assailed him. He'd been studying, listening to try to improve his English again when his mind wasn't wandering to fanciful dreams on its own. Alas, that searing thing shatters any concentration he had.

And he cried out for the intensity of it.

Renne has insanely good ears but with him, there are things somehow between the lines of senses. Heard but not, felt but not, smelled but not and all of them in between. This is pain, he knows. Pain is an all-too-familiar companion even if a reviled one. Except, it isn't his pain.
He stills himself.
The pain lances through his Being again and in a shot, he's down into his crawl, blazing to find the source of it.

On the way, he lets out his own primeval cry, a warning to any and all that might hear this screaming desperation within.

"Bee! Bee! Pain. Tar-Tar! Pain!"

Once he'd responded to Katara's earlier message, Billy knew that the grief would swell up soon enough. He'd finished up loose ends at work, changed into comfortable clothes, and found something small to work on while he waited for her to summon him. It would keep his fright-magnifying imagination at bay and let him focus on reality, calming enough to help when needed.

The call came a short while later, both of his Bondeds calling at once. Setting his work aside, he sprinted over to the epicenter of this feeling.

Silently, he bent to remove his socks and shoes and offer Renne a ride on his shoulder. But even that was taking too long. They needed to be together now.

Katara had noticed the fish: she hadn't designed the water for anything else to come in at the moment, and knew that Beastboy might arrive here anyway. When he did come by and place his hand on her back, she closed her eyes and leaned into the touch. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, and she didn't say a word at the moment: she was just glad her co-leader was there, and she sobbed quietly.

Katara knew it was the voice of Overlord Zetta, and though it seemed strange to have him there at all, she knew that there was a part of him that was watching her. She wouldn't mention it: he had a reputation to maintain or whatever, but she was grateful even if she felt incredibly lousy at the moment.

"I don't see why they brought him here to take him away," she finally said. "It's so stupid! Sokka is smart, a great swordsman, always has a way of making everyone laugh. The Avatar gang would never have been the same without him. I just don't understand. It's like they brought us all here just to mess with us."

She sighed, shaking her head. "Don't you wish Stacy could at least have brought you here in your own form, not as a book?"

"I did this to myself," he said quietly. "The Sacred Tome is the keystone of my Netherworld. The Ohm tampered with it... " He skipped the part where he set it on fire. "Long story short, I had to bind my soul to it to save my life. But my Netherworld was destroyed, and I ended up... here.

"Stupid crap happens. My castle, my brothers, my Netherworld, my body... all gone. But I'm still alive, and so long as THAT's true, there's a way to pull out of this damn mess. Your brother may be back in the pods, but he's still alive. So are you. Even if the people you care about are crammed in the pods, they're still alive, and so are you. That means in the end it can still all be turned around."

Of the people that Katara knew might come down here, she knew her bonded would be here: they heard each other, and when he screamed, she felt Renne stir, and knew that Billy would be following soon. She closed her eyes, exhaling and sinking into the water again. She thought of Billy and Renne as her bonded, but had never called them brothers for a reason: she HAD her brother here, on the ship.

But that wasn't so anymore.

When she saw them approach, she barely managed to give them a smile. "Hey,: she said softly, her eyes downcast.

Having no desire to "go aquatic", since he associates such a shifting with a moment of serenity, Renne gives Bee a grateful chirp and crawls on up to the Human's shoulder. Up there, the oddity gives a hopefully reassuring nuzzle.

When he hears 'Tara's voice though, his own responds with no regard to hiding his worry.

"Tarrr-Tarrrr?"

"Katara," Billy whispers in response. When Renne climbs up, he responds with a pat and starts wading out. When he's close enough to do so, he ducks to catch her eyes and looks at her with all the compassion he can muster.

He's cautious, though, because he doesn't want to do anything that can be construed as attempting to replace Sokka. He'll let her take the lead.

She could definitely understand what he was saying, even if that overwhelming sadness was still there. What was more, she hadn't been around Sokka as much as she should have, and that guilt was eating at her. Still, he had a point, and she knew, after her talk with Alex, that listening to reason was always a good thing.

"I'm trying to believe that, and I know that later, I might feel better about this. Its just that he was always here, and he always was able to tell me when I was being stupid. I'm just really going to miss him. He was the only other link to my world. If he's not here, I'm the only one from the water tribe."

Ren had been on his way to the Sensoriums to try to feed Darkwing when he saw Katara's rampage. It was the kind of thing he'd seen a lot, from himself and Shinji. Fight to take away the pain.

"If you're going to fight," he said, hands in pockets, "don't do it because you don't know what else to do."

Zetta blinked. "Oh, hey. Don't get me wrong, you're allowed to be upset for a while. That's just normal. I just gotta make sure you don't do anything stupid, and you get back up and keep going after a little while. The second part's the most important."

It takes a special kind of personality to be so damn cheerful and arrogant and confident of success after being reduced to a BOOK.

Katara knew all too well what Billy was trying to do, or at least sensed it. Without a word she reached forward and hugged him tight, tears falling unashamedly down his back. She couldn't help it: with Sokka gone he was the closest thing to a brother figure that she had. She reached forward and took Renne in her hands, bringing him into the circle.

"Thanks for coming guys," she said, her voice shaky.

Katara turned, trying her best to compose herself, because quite honestly it wasn't like he knew what was going on.

"I have plenty of reasons to fight," she said, composing herself. "I was doing this so I could get rid of some aggression. I've had some bad news, and I needed to get the anger out."

Immediately, his skinny arms extend to embrace the two. One arm around Bee, the other around 'Tara. Chirping quietly, his tongue occasionally flicks out to "groom" away as many tears as he can. It's an animal-in-the-wilds thing, nothing sick.

"Not abandon thee. Here, still. Not leave thee in Alone-ness."

That word "Aloneness" is said with the kind of tone one has when speaking of something incredibly beyond taboo.

"No, not alone," Billy affirms, taking his cue to hold her with all his strength. One of his hands smooths back her hair, the other tracing a steady pattern on her back.

"I'm sorry, so sorry," he says, sharing in her grief as the wave of emotion wells up. "I know I'm not him, I never will be, but I'll give what I can."

"That helps," Ren admitted. "But what are you fighting for?"

He looked out over the wreckage of imagined enemies. "It's true we're in a situation where if we don't fight, we won't survive. But if you don't have that reason, then you'll burn out. It can't be as general as saving the worlds, otherwise you can just leave it to everyone else. It has to be yours and yours alone."

There was a little bit of a distant look on his face as he said this, thinking over his own causes.

"Good, because I know I'm going to be upset for awhile," Katara warned, laughing bitterly. "I'm not a god, even I know this is something I can;t phase out. He's family, and I love him always."

Here she shook her head. "Believe me, I'm not going to do anything terribly stupid. After having to deal with Alex and almost killing the man that murdered my mother. I know enough about not doing something when my emotions are running high."

She laughs softly at the tongue lapping her cheek, and nuzzles him a moment. She already knew it was nothing weird Renne was doing, it was his way of being comforting, and it did help, actually.

"I know," she said to Renne, then turned to Billy's words, a note of seriousness in her gaze. "No, you won't. Sokka is my brother, I know you'd never try to take his place. But its like I keep telling you Billy: you have your own way of comforting me. You're my Bonded. I knew you'd come."

She smiled, and gave Billy a quick kiss on the cheek. Her eyes were still sad though.

"Eee. We hell-p Tarrr-Tarrr feel good-errr?"

Chirp. Of course, she gets a nuzzling back. Already, there's a faint almost-glimmer in his eyes if one looks hard enough. Prelude to the Pampering Prince.

"Right, we'll be here for as long as it takes."

Breathing deeply, he leans up and kisses her forehead. He's already soaked through with lakewater and tears, staying for a while longer won't hurt at all.

He's fixated so strongly on sending comforting thoughts to Katara that he doesn't participate in Renne's scheming.

Katara wasn't sure what he meant. She had been running the simulation as a way to stop her from taking her emotions out on anyone else. If he was really asking her what she was fighting for, she had an answer for him.

"I fight because no one deserves what happened to our worlds," Katara said. "I fight because I've seen what happens to people who are oppressed, I've been there. There are people on this ship who are learning to fight themselves, and I'll help them in any way I can. Whatever anyone thinks, whatever they fight, I know why I do. I won't let anyone suffer like we have on this ship."

She looked back at him, interrupter of her pain but curious now. "What about you?"

Ren smiled humorlessly. It seemed like there were more people like Shinji in the world--the ones who fought for everyone and no one, trying to do it because they thought it was right.

"That kind of thinking can leave you indecisive," he said. "When you're forced to make a hard choice, can that conviction give you the strength you need to make that decision?"

He took his hands out of his pockets, showing that he wasn't nervous about this, even if he wasn't going to go in-depth. "I have someone I need to fight for. I'm going to restore the worlds, but to save that person. She's still the reason I fight."

"Well, I had to check." Zetta seemed a little defensive, though he looked back up to meet her eyes.

"Just remember. The only thing that can break you IS you."

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