trans_9 | Contemplating Fast Food

Ace hadn't really said much at the little welcome meeting. It was great and all, getting their excited out and repeating what they'd found out. More like been 'told'. He wasn't sure if any of it was true.

He still didn't consider himself part of this crew, not really. His crew was worlds away, and possibly gone. But he was still Whitebeard's man.

Not...whoever was captain on this ship.

And who could call a living thing a proper ship anyway? He could see stars out the window. Not dimmed by the sky, the actual stars. And the food couldn't even be called food. this place was really starting to freak him out, he'd like to go home now, and forget about this supposed hero gig. Though, preferably not back to the location he'd just left. Back to Whitebeard's fleet, maybe? He'd love that.

Maybe he should go find and bug his little Lord of Chaos, at least he'd be entertained...

His fingers trapped against his side as he studied the garden area, trying to decide if any of the fruit or animals were toxic.

And how much he cared, after a week of tasteless slop.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Well, I think they might be better at it. And if you're fighting against them, that makes you a hero, doesn't it?"

Ace shrugged. "Can you eat a city without moving a step? Just with the force of your power, and then spit it back out as a weapon? Could you eat a fireball the size of an island? He's an asshole. But that doesn't make him any less powerful."

"The Ohm cheated! They tampered with the Sacred Tome!" You set it on fire, Zetta, you never mention this when you talk about it. "Just because they're sneaky doesn't mean they're good. Just the opposite! It means they're sneaky cowards, afraid of a face-to-face confrontation! And fighting against them doesn't make me a hero. Rivals, perhaps -- but they're not worthy of the name!"

Zetta took a moment to assess the questions Ace had posed. "Yeah, I can. Or... I could. Back when I had my body. Strongest Overlord in the cosmos isn't a prize they hand out at the bottom of a box of Prism Ranger-O's, y'know. I'm stronger than the god of ALL overlords, for Magog's sake! That's just how awesome I am! Where is this Blackbeard guy? I'll have it out with him! Right here! Right now!"

"I dunno, cheating seems pretty evil to me. I didn't think evil fought fair. I thought it just fought to win." He grinned, lips curling with wicked amusement.

He tipped his head at the book's wild claims. "So now that you don't have your body, what are you, second best? And he's still asleep. I guess. If he's here."

"Of course evil doesn't fight fair!" Zetta said, quite indignant. "But it's the kind of fair where you're swatting an ant with Tera Star, not the kind of fair where you don't actually fight! What the hell's the point of that? If I locked you in a closet and claimed I'd defeated you, I'd be laughed out of my own castle! Not to mention the fact that it'd just be setting up a dramatic scene where I gloated over your defeat, then you showed up to demonstrate you were alive and well.

"Just like I'm going to do to those damn Ohm." The book had a wicked gleam in its eyes. "I'll teach them not to openly invite dramatic irony! They will rue the day they flaunted postmodernism in all its forms! Hyaaah ha ha ha!

"But I'm still the most badass freakin' Overlord in the cosmos! Even as a book my mana power is second to none!" But you can't use it for anything, Zetta. "That's not the point, though. The point is I want my damn netherworld back, and I want my damn body back, and to do that we've got to rip off the Ohm's asses and mail them to Celestia with insufficient postage, so they have the shame of having the postman hand their asses back while smugly aware of their inadequacy!"

"I dunno, seems like they fought unfairly *AND* effectively to me. I mean, really. You're a book and they've trapped you on a ship where you have to rely on a zombie for help." He made a casual gesture at the girl. "Even if you did manage to find them, what are you going to do? Give them a paper cut?"

The book really left him with an uncomfortable taste in his mouth. It reminded him way too much of Blackbeard, down to the laughter and the ego.

"Pretty sure everyone on this boat wants to go home, you know. You're hardly the only one. Though if you want to team up with the heroes to make that happen, be my guest."

"Hmph! What would be the point of being an Overlord if you had no one to lord it Over? Even if they are mindless constructs, they're still my mindless constructs." Zetta shot a sidelong glance at the girl, who had just now wandered back, various miscellaneous items tucked in pouches and other arbitrarily defined inventory spaces. The foundations of his army! Zetta began to laugh again as the woman lifted him up once again.

"But it seems I've misjudged you, Mr. Not a Hero!" he said, in that sort of smug I'm-totally-right-and-doing-you-a-favor-by-explaining-it tone of voice that came so naturally to him. "There are no heroes and villains here, just us, and the assholes responsible for us being here! Contemplate your navel all you want, but only action will see us back to our homes -- and when the time comes, the incomparable Overlord Zetta will redefine action so vehemently, its dictionary entry will say, 'see: badass!' And when you look up badass, there'll be ME! Hyaaaa ha ha ha ha ha!"

That apparently was the woman's cue to carry Zetta away, with his fading laughter serving as an unpleasant memory of the encounter.

Ace arched a slow eyebrow. "Well, I dunno, seems like something with a brain would take more skill to lord over. But if you want to make yourself feel better by lording over your doll army, I won't stop you."

He shook his head faintly as the book left. "You know, you should get that ego looked at, it's probably bad for your health."

Contemplating Fast Food

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