I've Become So Numb [Open]

[mapquest-titan.livejournal.com]

First it was the nightmares. The memories pushing back fifteen years to the last day he'd seen his father alive, the day the Drej had come out of nowhere and obliterated Earth and turned the thousands that had managed to escape into refugees. Without a home, they had become shunned by the other races, viewed with disdain. Ignored at best, openly attacked at worst.

His time on the ship had somehow allowed him to forget all that. Maybe it was being around so many other humans--the first time in fifteen years that Cale had been part of a 'majority.' Or perhaps it was that, now, everyone was in the same boat as he was, the boat he'd been in since he was four years old. Their homes were gone. Destroyed by a mysterious alien race. Whatever the reason, Cale had allowed himself to begin to forget the home he never had, to forget Earth, to forget the Titan, and to forget his father.

That was, until, the dreams.

They'd first come when he was asleep, jarring him awake with their vividness. There were several times that Cale been convinced they were real, only to wake up and be surprised that he wasn't a four year-old kid anymore. He was a nineteen year-old young man.


He wandered the streets of the city, meandering his way aimlessly until by pure chance he happened upon the statuary. He didn't recognize any of the stone sculptures. Most of them were supposed to be from Earth. That's what he'd been told by others in the crew. Who knew if it was true. Cale didn't. He'd been just a kid when the planet was blown to pieces. He didn't know squat about humanity or its history. Just that it was dying and would likely be extinct in another few hundred years. And there was nothing anyone could do to stop it. Especially not him, no matter how much Akima and Korso tried to tell him differently. Earth was gone. There was no getting it back.


If only the nightmares had just stayed nightmares. Sleep was easy enough to avoid. Short cat-naps here and there allowed him to get a little rest, keep from hallucinating, without slipping into the dreamworld where his past seemed poised, waiting for him. But they hadn't just stayed nightmares. Now, the nightmares seemed to be alive. His past had walked alongside him. No. Not walked alongside him. It had tried to kill him. His past, the responsibility that had been dumped on him, was back and wasn't going to let him go. Even his father was a part of it. The man who had abandoned him, left it to him to finish what Sam had started. It was his fault the survival of their species had been dumped on Cale's shoulders.

And the Drej. If it weren't for those bastards, Earth would still exist. His dad wouldn't have left him. And everyone wouldn't be looking to Cale to save them.


"Aaaaaaargh!!!" Cale shouted snatching up what appeared to be a stone arm, broken from one of the statues--likely during one of the many battles the crew had fought in the city--and started swinging. He decapitated Venus di Milo. Another blow sent David's leg hurtling across the room. "Leave me alone!" he raged, striking the statues at random. "You're all DEAD!!! It's too late. It's all over. What the hell do you want me to do?!? Huh? What the hell do you want from me?!?"

Comments

[not_the_philistine]

He's on a backswing when a very strong, very large, very taloned hand grabs his arm in a grip that is just on the uncomfortable side of "firm."

The view, when Cale is whirled around, is even less comforting. Even if he's seen Goliath around the ship thus far, he hasn't seen him like this, fangs prominent, eyes radiating fury. The gargoyle does not yell - he roars.

"What are you doing?!"

[mapquest-titan.livejournal.com]

"What's it look like I'm doing?!" Cale snapped back. Big or not, Goliath is just another big alien to him. Nothing he hasn't seen before. Normally, he'd duck and run from big aliens that tried picking a fight with him. But Cale wasn't feeling normal. Not today.

He tried to jerk his arm free of the gargoyle's grip.

[not_the_philistine]

Neither is Goliath in the mood to play games, and he lifts Cale completely off the ground. It isn't comfortable, but the gargoyle hasn't hurt him yet, though he flexes the talons on his free hand like he is itching to do so.

He growls, the sound rumbling low in his throat. "If you have killed one of my clan, your fate will be the same."

[mapquest-titan.livejournal.com]

Ok, this wasn't something he'd expected.

"Put me down. I didn't kill any of your clan, ok? They're just a bunch of statues."

[not_the_philistine]

The growl intensifies - "My kind sleep as statues."

Cale is lifted even higher, so that Goliath can threaten him eye-to-eye - "As I slept before your crew awakened me! What have you smashed? Tell me!"

[mapquest-titan.livejournal.com]

"Nothing," Cale answered. That, however, didn't seem to appease the gargoyle. "Seriously, NOTHING! This is the first time. I swear."

[not_the_philistine]

Goliath lets out his breath in something that is more growl than sigh, and drops the human.

"Pray, for your sake, that you are right."

He turns to inspect the rubble for familiar faces. There's a long slash of fresh burn on his back, as if from a laser, but who would be firing one of those on the ship?

[mapquest-titan.livejournal.com]

Cale scowled up at the big alien as it walked over to a couple broken statues. "So, what, you're telling me that the lady with no arms and the naked guy are like, what, your brother and sister?" he asked, snarkily.

[not_the_philistine]

There are no gargoyle features among the destroyed, and so Goliath returns to a state of calm, though the sharp fury and fear at the sight of smashed statues has not left him yet.

"Do not test my patience." When he looks up, the fury in his eyes has dimmed to the point where his pupils can be seen again. His gaze is sharp and powerfully focused, more like a raptor or a bird of prey than a human. "Ignorance I can forgive. But had you committed a murder, even in blind fury, I could not be so magnanimous."

It's not exactly plain speech, but it is sincere.

[earnmyplace.livejournal.com]

It was an unusual sight. Tali paused at the edge of the scene for a moment, watching statues be assaulted and the human rage, rolling the strange proclamations he made over in her mind. Was the boy hallucinating? Another effect of the waking dreams perhaps. She sighed softly shaking her helmet covered head for a moment before stepping forward. One three-digit hand slipped behind her back, gripping the shotgun strapped there. It may take a moment to pull it out if the male decided to redirect his attacks towards her, but it was better than instantly declaring herself a hostile force if the man were lost in fantasy.

She stepped closer to the wild male, stopping a few feet away before speaking.

“I do not believe they can hear you.”

[mapquest-titan.livejournal.com]

Cale stopped his assault mid-swing when he heard a strange voice speak up from behind him. Turning slightly, he scowled at the stranger for a moment. He'd never met...whoever this was. Hadn't even seen...whoever this was...on the ship before. Maybe if he ever got out of engineering he might have.

"Huh?" he said with an incredulous look on his face. "Who?"

[earnmyplace.livejournal.com]

Not completely insane, it would seem. Tali dropped her hand, bringing both arms up to cross over her chest as she regarded the male. She was still on guard, the male remained armed after all, but the response gave her some hope that the shotgun would not be called for today.

"Who? You have not simply been standing here screaming at yourself, I hope. Though such a thing would be just as rational as making demands of stone and ghosts."

[mapquest-titan.livejournal.com]

He's still scowling at her.

"It's none of your business," he snapped, chucking the stone arm across the statuary, where it hit a wall and broke into three pieces. "It's not like you'd understand anyway. No one here does."

[earnmyplace.livejournal.com]

"I am sure yours is the greatest tale of tragedy that ever occurred," she stated flatly. Ah, but this ship became more like the Normandy every day. There would be tragic romances springing up at any moment, she was sure.

"Certainly none of the rest of us on this vessel can compare. Tell me of it, so I may know how assaulting pieces of rock is the logical result of it."

[mapquest-titan.livejournal.com]

"Leave me alone," Cale spat at her. It didn't take a genius to detect the sarcasm in her voice. Hell, Cale was the king of sarcasm, he'd notice it before almost anyone. And this was sarcasm. And Cale wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone else's sarcastic comments right now. Not after being dumped down an engine shaft by his dead dad and chased through the corridors by a platoon of Drej.

[earnmyplace.livejournal.com]

"Ah, or I shall start," Tali continued on, unperturbed by his attitude. She was quarian, she was more than accustomed to being distrusted and looked down on by humans. She was equally used to putting all she had into proving that wrong. They were all on this ship together, after all, and if Shepard had taught her anything, it was that a crew must at least attempt to get along. That, and males with anger issues usually just needed to chat.

"I am Tali'Zorah nar Rayya of the Flotilla. For reference, Tali is the part I am called by." She held up her hands in an attempt at a pacifying gesture. "And I'm curious as to what is disturbing you."

[mapquest-titan.livejournal.com]

"Why?" Cale asked, suspiciously. It had nothing to do with her species, however. Cale just didn't trust many people. Even on the ship. "What's it to you?"

[ayasofia.livejournal.com]

Sofia had followed Cale's voice (or rather his screams) and the sound of breaking stone (or rather marble).

"Breaking things doesn't help." She said softly, slowly coming into sight.

[mapquest-titan.livejournal.com]

Cale paused in the middle of his assault on one of the statues and glanced over his shoulder. The thought that she was cute flickered across his brain for an instant but was quickly banished. "Says who?" he asked, before swinging the arm again and smashing another statue.

[ayasofia.livejournal.com]

"Me. I've tried it." She reached out with one hand and carefully balanced the Venus De Milo's head in the air, lowering it gently onto its body. But as soon as she took away the winds around it, it fell over and she had to catch it with the wind again. She sighed and guided it toward her until she plucked it from the air and held it in her hands. "I went through several expensive vases before I found that out."

[mapquest-titan.livejournal.com]

"Yeah? Well, it makes me feel better," Cale retorted, finally dropping the stone arm he'd been using to beat up the statues with. Venting violently wasn't so much fun when you had an audience. "And it's not like there's any other options."

[ayasofia.livejournal.com]

"Actually I hear the Sensoriums are like the Danger Room. You could bring up punching bags. Or fake statues." She ran her fingers over the stone face in her hands. She never thought she'd be holding a priceless work of art in her hands like this. Decapitated. But still pretty. "But after you're done breaking things nothing changes. You're still just as hurt as before."

[mapquest-titan.livejournal.com]

"I'm not hurt!" he snapped back. Nope. Not hurt. Cale was a nineteen year-old man full of testosterone. He didn't get hurt. Not. at. all. "I'm just-- I'm just pissed off, ok?"

[ayasofia.livejournal.com]

Sofia kept examining the statue. "Sorry. Pissed off." She let go and let the statue's head float gently to the floor. "Do you feel any less pissed off now?"

[mapquest-titan.livejournal.com]

"No," he said, storming over to an empty bench and plopping down on it harder than he intended. Ow! That hurt his butt. "But why don't you go have your dead dad try to dump you down an engine shaft and tell me how happy you are about it."