Jamie McCrimmon (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bonnypiperlad) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
trans_92012-05-24 02:10 am
bonnypiperlad) wrote in trans_92012-05-24 02:10 am
Entry tags:
Losing Them In Pieces [Open]
Who: Jamie and open!
Where: The Brig, unless someone drags him out from it.
Summary: A reaction to Billy's repodding and Zetta's subsequent announcement.
Warnings: General unhappiness warnings. Possibly a bit of sulking and a reluctance to do things.
Zetta's announcement had infuriated Jamie, and for a few moments he had forgotten it was supposed to be an act. All he wanted to do was get out of his cell, hunt down that overgrown piece of parchment and find out how hard it would be to punch a book in what served for its face. But the anger soon faded as the reality set in. Another teammate, gone. Only this time it was someone he had grown to care for like the members of his clan - like a brother. It wasn't a mistake or a joke. Maybe it wasn't as permanent as Punchy's death, but in some ways it hurt even worse.
And...maybe Zetta had been right, act or no act. What was to stop the Daligig from repodding the rest of the rebels or even the crew entirely? Yes, they'd lose the investment they had in the crew, and have to start all over again, but they'd have the time to adjust the systems, undo the changes that had already been done and start over with a group that had no idea what was going on. Or what if they decided a more effective tack would be to pod the rest of those who the rebels cared for? What if they repodded the Doctor? Or Victoria? He couldn't bear the thought of losing her, too, not now. Not again.
A wave of listlessness rolled over him, and he slid down the wall to sit heavily on the floor. His eyes found a random spot, and he stared at it despondently, too caught up in the downward spiral of his thoughts to actually see it. Why should they even bother trying to fight? Was it even worth it anymore?
"Och, what's the use?"
Where: The Brig, unless someone drags him out from it.
Summary: A reaction to Billy's repodding and Zetta's subsequent announcement.
Warnings: General unhappiness warnings. Possibly a bit of sulking and a reluctance to do things.
Zetta's announcement had infuriated Jamie, and for a few moments he had forgotten it was supposed to be an act. All he wanted to do was get out of his cell, hunt down that overgrown piece of parchment and find out how hard it would be to punch a book in what served for its face. But the anger soon faded as the reality set in. Another teammate, gone. Only this time it was someone he had grown to care for like the members of his clan - like a brother. It wasn't a mistake or a joke. Maybe it wasn't as permanent as Punchy's death, but in some ways it hurt even worse.
And...maybe Zetta had been right, act or no act. What was to stop the Daligig from repodding the rest of the rebels or even the crew entirely? Yes, they'd lose the investment they had in the crew, and have to start all over again, but they'd have the time to adjust the systems, undo the changes that had already been done and start over with a group that had no idea what was going on. Or what if they decided a more effective tack would be to pod the rest of those who the rebels cared for? What if they repodded the Doctor? Or Victoria? He couldn't bear the thought of losing her, too, not now. Not again.
A wave of listlessness rolled over him, and he slid down the wall to sit heavily on the floor. His eyes found a random spot, and he stared at it despondently, too caught up in the downward spiral of his thoughts to actually see it. Why should they even bother trying to fight? Was it even worth it anymore?
"Och, what's the use?"
no subject
"There's a lot of clever people here," he agreed. "If we can figure out what's going on, they can come up with something. We can come up with something."
He fell quiet again, for a few seconds, then said a touch ruefully, "Ye must think me very selfish for how I've reacted. I'm sorry."
no subject
"You're allowed to fall into despair. The trick is to step out of it as soon as you're in it, and not let it seep in. And above all, not to deliberately invite into you, or think that despair is the normal state of being. Focus on that, and you and everyone around you will be the happier for it."
no subject
"You're right, though. It'll not do anyone any good if I let myself get like that again." His eyes flicked up to where her face was pressed up, so close to that barrier, and he smiled. It was still a small smile, but he'd be alright now, and he wanted to let her know that.
"Hey, Anwei? Thanks."
no subject