trans_9 | Losing Them In Pieces [Open]

Who: Jamie and open!
Where: The Brig, unless someone drags him out from it.
Summary: A reaction to Billy's repodding and Zetta's subsequent announcement.
Warnings: General unhappiness warnings. Possibly a bit of sulking and a reluctance to do things.

Zetta's announcement had infuriated Jamie, and for a few moments he had forgotten it was supposed to be an act. All he wanted to do was get out of his cell, hunt down that overgrown piece of parchment and find out how hard it would be to punch a book in what served for its face. But the anger soon faded as the reality set in. Another teammate, gone. Only this time it was someone he had grown to care for like the members of his clan - like a brother. It wasn't a mistake or a joke. Maybe it wasn't as permanent as Punchy's death, but in some ways it hurt even worse.

And...maybe Zetta had been right, act or no act. What was to stop the Daligig from repodding the rest of the rebels or even the crew entirely? Yes, they'd lose the investment they had in the crew, and have to start all over again, but they'd have the time to adjust the systems, undo the changes that had already been done and start over with a group that had no idea what was going on. Or what if they decided a more effective tack would be to pod the rest of those who the rebels cared for? What if they repodded the Doctor? Or Victoria? He couldn't bear the thought of losing her, too, not now. Not again.

A wave of listlessness rolled over him, and he slid down the wall to sit heavily on the floor. His eyes found a random spot, and he stared at it despondently, too caught up in the downward spiral of his thoughts to actually see it. Why should they even bother trying to fight? Was it even worth it anymore?

"Och, what's the use?"

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Trust Barbara to ask that. He wasn't, not really, but he didn't want her to worry. Not over him. So he tried at least to manage a small smile for her, a reassurance he didn't really feel.

"Aye, I'll be fine," he said, although the words sounded hollow even to him. "It's not as though it's not happened before." Many times before, but if he let himself go back down that particular train of thought he guessed Barbara would likely pick up on it. Maybe if he focused on her instead it would take his mind off everything else.

"Doesn't matter though. Are ye holding up alright?"

Barbara shifted her stance against the wall so that she sat like he did; bottom flat on the ground, back up against the wall. It was clear that they could be here a while. Which she didn't mind; Jamie was a kind, sweet man and she would happily go out of her way for him.

"I'm alright. What do you mean 'happened before'?"

"The repoddings," he admitted, after a silence that seemed to stretch out longer than it should - to him, at least. He wasn't sure how it would seem to Barbara. "There's been a lot lately, but it's always been like this. People are here, and then they get put back again."

He turned his head so he could look at her, expression glum. "Like the Doctor. I've met more versions of him here then I can count, sometimes the same one over and over."

"Oh, Jamie." Barbara put a hand on his arm, giving it a bit of a squeeze. "It's...just this place. It's so big and confusing before things like Doctors and time lines get involved." She understood what he was on about, it was so frustrating sometimes to be surrounded by Doctors who weren't really the Doctor, as far as she was concerned. And they just kept coming...!

"As far as the poddings go, GLaDOS told me that crew members were repodded because keeping them unpodded was worse, because they were sick or not coping." At least it was something like that. "They're safer in their pods than what they are out here."

That gesture helped more than he thought it would, and he gave her another smile. A small one, still, but at least this was more genuine and less an attempt to make it seem like nothing was wrong. It faded as she continued, however, and he let his eyes drop away, fixing on a spot on the floor.

"Aye, but these ones? The most recent ones? They're not because of that. Or not all of them are, anyway. They're because of what we're doing, I know it."

Edited 2012-05-29 08:01 (UTC)

"How do you know?" she asked gently. The previous smile had not gone unnoticed, and Barbara wanted to know just how she could bring it back. Or rather, what was holding it back.

Jamie hesitated. He couldn't be sure the Daligig wouldn't be able to hear what was being said in the cells - and letting them know about their ability to encrypt the transmissions on the Omnicomms would be possibly fatal for them all.

"Aye, well, what would ye do if ye found people rebelling against ye and needed to take care of them? Seems to me it's a nice tidy way to go about cleaning up a mess. Besides, ye know history, so ye know as well as I do what happens to those of us on the losing side."

That last was said in a tone that held the faintest note of bitterness. Those days after Culloden hadn't been that long ago. He still remembered the feeling of the rope around his neck, if he thought hard enough about it.

"Who's to say we'll not wind up back there again?"

Edited 2012-06-01 07:01 (UTC)

Jamie had a point. History had involved battles such as theirs with the losing side not exactly fairing too well. Or at all, as the case were.

"But we have to hope," Barbara said quietly.

Do we? Jamie wondered to himself. But the more he thought about it, the more that it started to make some sort of sense. Without hope, they might as well give up completely. And maybe Billy was gone for now, but who was to say he couldn't come back at some point? There were a lot of clever people on this ship. They could figure out a way to get him out of the pods. And maybe others as well. Other friends and family and people close to the crew that remained.

"Aye. Maybe ye have a point," he admitted - and while he still didn't feel much like smiling, he looked up, and his eyes were lighter, less troubled. "No wonder the Doctor likes having ye around. Ye make a lot of sense."

"Try telling him that," she smiled gently and rubbed at his shoulder.

Barbara sat for a moment longer in silence but stood and offered her hand to the Scottsman. "Come on. Let's do something else for a while and forget that there's a war on."

"Next time I see him, I will." As long as he remembered to, anyway. He felt fairly confident he'd not forget that, though. With a nod, he took Barbara's hand and got to his feet. He wasn't sure how long he'd have before he had to go back to playing prisoner for the sake of the fake rebellion, but he thought it'd be long enough that he'd not have to think about that - or the war - for awhile.

"Aye, let's."

"What do you enjoy doing?" she asked once they had been walking in silence for a time, long since having dropped his hand. "Outside of traveling, of course."

Once she had let go, he'd let his arms swing freely at his sides, but at her question he brought one of them up, scratching at his ear as he thought.

"Well, playing my pipes when I can. And having a good meal now and then, especially if it's not slop." He made a bit of a face at the thought of that. "But mostly I like spending time with Victoria."

That is what he's come to enjoy doing the most. And it's likely one of the best things about being in this place, in his mind. "What about yourself?"

"A few things," she answered quickly, not wanting to take the focus from Jamie. "If we went into a sound proof room, would you play your popes for me?" Because she could hardly make him a good meal, or throw Victoria at him to make him feel better. And music always lifted Ian's spirits, surely the same could be said for Jamie? Even if it was bagpipes.

Losing Them In Pieces [Open]

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