trans_9 | If I should die before I wake [Closed]

Entry tags:

If I should die before I wake [Closed]

When he had been sedated and placed into the pods, Daimon Hellstrom's heart felt as though it were on fire. When he woke the pain had spread to his entire body. He had been released into one of the halls but he couldn't stand again. He didn't even have the strength to stay on his hands and knees and collapsed onto the floor.

"No." He whispered.

Daimon heard Stacy's gentle, encouraging voice in his head but not listening. He couldn't make out the words.

It was impossible to focus on anything but the pain. He couldn't remember where he'd been before now. He tried to clear his mind and focus but it was useless.

"Months," the word kept running through his mind. Why?

You're dying. And with the realization came other memories. His weakness, his chest pains, all symptoms he had ignored for as long as he could until he saw Dr. Hussain. Somehow, he knew he was dying. He could feel it but until she said "less than six months" he hadn't realized how quickly it was all happening.

Now that time was gone. He had spent it in the pods as Stacy tried in vain to heal him.

Daimon clawed at the floor but even his attempts to crawl failed.

Not yet. God, please not yet. Patsy. Let me see Patsy one more time.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

In the time that Daimon had been gone and Patsy released, Patsy had managed to keep herself busy, with the making of new acquaintances, and going off-shore on magical adventures.

The moment that she'd heard that Daimon had been released, though, and that he'd asked for her, she'd made certain to go be by his side. Something within her was very drawn to that man.

A woman named Faiza - a beautiful doctor, really, and one who Patsy understood was from somewhere in the timeline of her own world - had summoned Patsy, and now she was here, mask off, by Daimon's bedside.

And he seemed rather out of it.

To be more precise, Daimon was drifting in and out of a fever dream. Although Faiza had done her best to ease the fever, he was coated in sweat.

When he opened his eyes the first thing he noticed was her red hair. The rest of her features came slowly into focus.

He lifted his hand in an unspoken invitation for her to take it.

Patsy gingerly took Daimon's hand in her own and gently squeezed it, attempting to telekinetically will warmth and love into his hand. She knew that doing so was impossible, but...

Well, she had to try.

"Hi sweetie," she said softly. "How are you doing?" She knew how he was doing, and this was mostly an attempt to help Daimon start speaking. To get him a little bit active.

Daimon tried to squeeze Patsy's hand back but he couldn't. His hold was too tenuous and he was too weak. The spirit is willing, he thought.

"Dying." There was no ignoring that truth anymore.

"I'm sorry." He could feel her love. It couldn't comfort his body but it filled his soul, the one that truly belonged to him.

"I wanted- to give you so much more."

Patsy shut her eyes tightly. That was a truth that she refused to believe. They were superheroes. They were superheroes on a ship made of meat and who knew what else, travelling through space, picking up citizens from universes of all kinds to fight a hugely epic battle. In many of those universes, people died and came back from the dead.

And Daimon Hellstrom was the freaking Son of Satan.

Holding back tears, Patsy said, "Stop it. You are not dying. I won't allow it. Not you. Not like this."

"Patsy." He wanted to take her into his arms and hold her, to kiss her tears away, but he hadn't the strength. He couldn't even hold back his own tears. "You can't change this."

This is my choice.

For a moment his dream overtook reality. He could see the statue of Michael clearly. He felt the evil resting there instead of his own body. Let that evil die. Let it die with me.

Patsy reached down and unhooked her cat-eared cowl from her bright blue sash. She gently used it to wipe away Daimon's tears. "I can. It's just that you probably won't let me," she said. "You'd rather find some way of protecting me instead."

Daimon knew the gesture was meant well and loving but it only made him feel ashamed. He couldn't hide his tears. He couldn't wipe them away. This was what he was reduced to. He always thought he would die fighting against his father. He didn't know it would be against himself.

"I'm protecting everyone." Daimon shivered. The fever burned his body but he was still cold. "Including- my soul." His true soul. It was his true soul. He was not the monster, not the shadow. That had never been him. He was free of it now.

Patsy lightly frowned. "What do you mean, including your soul?" She asked. Patsy had a fairly general idea of what he meant, but she needed to hear it from him. To make sure they were on the same page.

"I want to die as a man." Daimon's voice grew fainter with each breath. He was slipping further into his dream. He knew he had to focus, to stay alive but why? He was so tired and yet he held on. He had to for her.

"Don't take that from me. Let me die..."

For the most part, since being on this ship, since meeting Daimon, Patsy had been this warm, sweet, generous, caring person.

But if there was one thing she disliked, it was seeing someone give up on themselves, and their life. If she'd done that, who knew where she'd be right now. Perhaps in rehab, dealing with the insanity that her mother had put her through.

Patsy smacked Daimon across the face. Not hard, of course, but enough to sting a little bit. "Snap out of it," she said, the tone of her voice carrying shades of sadness and anger. "Darksoul or no, you've never been anything less than a man."

It wasn't the slap to his face that heart it was the one to his heart. He stared at Patsy, meeting her eyes.

"Half demon, half evil. You know this. The darksoul was inside you." How could she ask him to take that back? What gave her the right?

"I'm free. I want to die free."

"But I don't want you dead!" Patsy cried. "Don't I get a say? At all? Because you can't come into my life, all handsome and broody and in love with me, and then make me fall in love with you, and then die on me. Do you know how wrong that is?" Yes, she was being selfish right there and right then. After all, the ship had chosen her to be a hero.

But then she'd also found this inexplicable something with Daimon, and she didn't want to lose that, either.

Daimon shut his eyes and wished he could shut out Patsy's words so easily.

All heroes make sacrifices. It is never easy.

He didn't say anything for a moment. It wasn't the darksoul he was battling but his body. He won and the world was clearer but he had to act now before it passed.

"I loved you from the moment I saw you." On ship or not that was true. "You are beautiful inside and out. You brighten everything you touch, including me."

He could stay with her. He could live by her side for however long the Ohm- or whatever new threat would emerge in time- would let them. They may even be happy for a time. But in the end it would sour. He would find some way to ruin it. No, not him- it. The darksoul, the monster he could not live without. The monster that was a part of him.

No more. He couldn't return to what he'd been. He had tasted the apple. He knew what it was like to be normal now. He didn't live in fear of losing control.

"But what you ask is impossible."

"You're the Son of Satan," Patsy said hotly. "Some would argue that for you, nothing is impossible."

Daimon shook his head. "Patsy, I don't want to spend the last hours of my life arguing with you."

"These are not the last hours of your life, Daimon Hellstrom. I will not allow them to be." She was stubborn, this one.

Daimon was the Son of Satan. Stubbornness was in his blood.

"Patsy, please. I made my decision long ago." His voice was soft. He reached to touch her cheek.

Patsy closed her eyes tightly and leaned into Daimon's touch. She shivered a little - out of sadness, out of longing, and out of love.

She opened her eyes and gently took Daimon's hand in hers. She gently kissed each of his knuckles and then asked,

"What about your Darksoul, Daimon? Without you, it might wreak havoc on the ship?

Daimon sighed in relief. He was afraid that Patsy would shrink away from his touch.

"Without me it will die." Most likely. "The connection goes both ways."

"And if it doesn't?" Patsy frowned lightly. "You need to give me a back up plan, Daimon. Just in case."

"There are others who know. They helped me seal it inside-" He stopped himself. "I will not tell you where it is. I know you too well."

That didn't stop him from picturing the place in his mind. Daimon Hellstrom was skilled at shielding his thoughts from others but only when he could concentrate. Not even the Son of Satan could do that and cling to life at the same time.

"Of course," Patsy replied, turning her face away from Daimon. A smile graced her face, where there should have been sadness. "I understand, Daimon."

And she did. She understood exactly where his Darksoul was.

First moment she got, she was going to free that thing and save Daimon Hellstrom's life.

Even if it killed their relationship.

She was smiling. Why was she- she was planning something.

"Patsy..."

Daimon's body burned. His soul's connection to life was rapidly fading. It was a struggle just to keep his eyes open and now he had to deal with his girlfriend going against him when he'd made his wishes clear.

He should have expected this. Why should dying be any easier than living?

"Don't."

She turned back to Daimon and struggled to keep a straight face. "I love you, Daimon Hellstrom. You know that, right?"

If I should die before I wake [Closed]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)