trans_9 | Mama Said Knock You Out [Open]

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Mama Said Knock You Out [Open]

WHUMPF.

In one of the lost rooms, a costumed teenager is being flown across a grassy hill like a particularly colorful projectile. He lands hard on the ground, tumbling over and over into the mud, and then, with a grunt, gets back up.

"Goddamn tree's putting the ig on me." Punchy wipes dirt off his face and spits a piece of grass (and possibly a tooth) out. "Let's see how you like getting stomped topwise by a real OG."

The Whomping Willow spreads its two largest branches wide, as if to say 'come at me, bro'. Punchy rushes headfirst at it, trying to think of some witty or scathing put-down to throw at this uppity piece of lumber, and instead only coming up with 'take that!' - and getting tossed, once again across the room and into the earth.

If anyone walks in on him lying facedown in the mud, he's totally just playing dead and going to get the Willow off-guard. Really.

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Punchy opens one eye and glances up at Soren. Go figure. His tool of a roommate.

"Don't bother helping a brother get a step up. I got this shit." Mostly, he just doesn't want Soren showing him up with his magic wind powers.

"Of course you do. Please, resume your quarrel with the nearby flora." Soren was just going to... stand here and watch.

Heh heh heh.

Punchy glances over at the tree, seeing that it's at rest, and in an exaggeratedly sneaky manner, gets to his knees and then his feet. He shifts his eyes over to Soren, then back to the tree, and runs straight at the Whomping Willow.

The Willow whips a vine out and grabs him, swinging him a bit before dangling him in the air a few feet above Soren.

Soren might help Punchy.

If Punchy...

...asked.

Asking for help is for tools. True superheroes do everything themselves and never collaborate! That's why Batman is totally more popular than the Justice League!

Punchy squirms and kicks. All the blood's rushing to his head, giving him a red cast akin to either his natural hair color or a tomato. Finally he manages to get himself free, although it's more to do with the tree being done toying with him than any exceptional effort of his own.

Which means he crashes upside right in front of Soren. He points a commanding finger.

"Don't say it."

"Oh, no. I thought you made an excellent showing," said Soren, still smiling in superior fashion. "In fact, the next time the crew needs to beat back an oversized houseplant, I'll be sure to let you take the elm."

Get it, Punchy? Elm?

Also Soren was insulting you again.

"Oh yeah?" Punchy scowls and gets back to his feet. Say what you will, but the boy is quite good at ignoring the brutal pain and injury that accompanies getting tossed around arbor-trarily.

"Why don't you just leaf me alone?"

"Believe me, I wasn't planning on running into you here. It was merely an unpleasant surprise."

Sadly, Soren wasn't going to start a pun battle. Punchy would have to go aspen someone else. "By the way, did you ever manage to track down that Brain-something-or-other? A pity. I was beginning to enjoy melting your gummi snacks into your clothing."

It's true that Punchy does need to branch out a little.

"I been grinding on that gig for months. We'll find him." But Punchy's worry about it is written all over his face. Every minute he's not found Brainy is another than those kids are getting tortured.

Saving the world was supposed to be easier than this.

Punchy grins and barely resists the urge to get all up in Soren's personal space. "Ah, that's why I got chow in my threads? Thanks for that, it's keeping me beaned when I'm hitting it too hard to go to the microwave."

Yes, in fact, he has been eating the melted gummies right out of his clothing.

Soren would have cared, but sadly... he didn't. The only things that worried him about the situation was that (a)apparently there was some kind of torturing lunatic on the loose and (b)apparently no one engineering had enough brains to find and jail them.

However, he did care about the personal space bubble thing. Therefore, Soren set Punchy's shirt on fire.

He was resisting the urge, Soren! Why you gotta be so sensitive? Punchy stops, drops and rolls, and thankfully the flames go out before they do any serious damage.

"What the shit, dawg! I didn't even touch you!" Punchy grabs a handful of mud from the ground and tosses it at Soren's sissy robes.

Don't deny it, Punchy! You were doing that test-Soren's-space thing.

Soren stepped aside, but wasn't able to avoid all the mud. Instead he looked disdainfully down at Punchy, as if sensing he didn't even need to bother with words in this situation.

Yes. Their hatred went beyond words.

It was

brohate

There's no hate like bro-hate.

Punchy sniffs, turns his back on Soren, and pops his collar. What now, roomie?

Now back to that stupid tree and giving Soren the silent treatment.

Only tools pop their collar, Punchy. ONLY TOOLS.

Soren watched in disapproval as Punchy turned his attention back to the tree. "You're doing it wrong."

"Nuh uh." Punchy is super mature. "You're thinking it wrong."

Soren's eyes narrowed slightly, but he continued, "It's obvious you don't have the speed or skill required to defeat that overgrown weed directly."

"Obvs to you. I got the game it takes to bust this one. Just need some time." Punchy believes in this harder than small children believe in Santa Claus on Christmas Eve.

Soren was just going to talk right past Punchy. About strategy.

~deal with it~

"Mages would be the best means of dealing with a target like this -- large and physically powerful, but stationary, with limited reach. A highly agile unit with a suitable weapon might also do." He smiled. "Unfortunately, 'lumbering oaf' doesn't fall into either of those categories."

Punchy doesn't understand at least two of those words, but he's aware he's being insulted. "Stop stepping, douchebag. I'm agile and I got a piece."

"Fine." Soren settled back, presumably to watch Punchy vs the Angry Tree, Round Two.

"Go to it, then."

It took two times, but Punchy has figured out that just charging and punching may not be the solution here.

He goes over and punches another tree, then smashes it again so it goes flying at the Whomping Willow. The Whomping Willow, taking none too kindly to deforestation or being attacked by its own brethren, grabs the tree out of the air and throws it right back at Punchy and Soren.

Go go maxed agility stats! Soren dodged the tree, cursing in a rather inventive fashion. "What are you doing?! Don't drag me into this!"

Yeah, stupid Punchy, always dragging him into getting attacked by giant trees.

Punchy executes a rather impressive tuck and roll out of the tree's path, then gets up and shrugs. "You were standing there."

So clearly it's your fault. Jackwagon.

Punchy dusts off his puppet and tries to think of a solution.

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Mama Said Knock You Out [Open]

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/manages to avoid 'tree-king out' pun

Re: /manages to avoid 'tree-king out' pun

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