If You Need a Doctor, I'll Examine Every Inch of You [Phys Evals; Open]

[meat_mooks]

Ever since the medical briefing on the comms, the medical bay staff has been preparing for an influx of appointments for physical evaluations, as well as a few walk-ins. After that, the hunt will be on for those who've been skipping such appointments.

A few of the staff members are going about their regular duties, expecting patients or simply biding time at the coffee machine until they're called on.

[OOC: please state the name of which med character(s) you want to administer the evaluation in the header to your comment. If you're fine with anyone tagging in, please indicate so. Available characters are Sakura, Howard, Dr. Faiza Hussain, Soren and Dr. Carson Beckett.]

Comments

[thewunderkind]

"Wait are you implying that I got fatter?!"

Lash did not understand medicals, like, ever. But she stepped on the platform, and let the machine tell Sakura that...yes she had gained a whole 1LB! DRAMATIC SHOCKING INFORMATION there. Also she was still the same height.

[encourage]

"I wouldn't know until you got on scale. Weight changes are often due to fluctuations in muscle mass as much as water weight or anything else." Sakura made notations, gesturing for Lash to step down again.

"Besides, you've changed on record about a pound. You know how much a pound is? Earth has so many different measuring systems."

[thewunderkind]

"Well yeah!" she answered back, pouting, while she rubbed her two index fingers together as she talked. "I worked with machines all my life. I worked with various length, temperature and weight systems."

She leaned back, arms crossed, looking at what passed for a ceiling. Trying to say this as nicely as possible.

"Uuuh...we done?"

[encourage]

"... Lash. We just started. What's eating you?"

[thewunderkind]

"Well uhh..." She was turning red faster than a bright red tomato. "I'll-talk-only-if-you-don't-laugh-otherwise-I-will-kill-you-I-don't-care-of-the-consequences!" The words came out so fast it was almost strange to hear them from her. She pouted a bit again and turned, bending her back and crossing her arms.

"I bet you're gonna laugh."

[encourage]

Sakura was empathetic to the fact that Lash looked completely out of sorts. "I won't laugh," she said, smiling reassuringly, "I promise. What is it?"

[thewunderkind]

Well Sakura, you had asked for it. She turned away not to look at Sakura after giving her a stare for a few seconds, silently.

"C-Can-I-get-a-shot-for-you-know-what?" Wow that was pretty vague.

screw tact

[encourage]

"A shot for which know what? We've got a battery for planet-side missions, one for dehydration purposes, then the..."

Wait.

Waaaait.

"Can a book get you pregnant? Really?"

Ahahaha omg

[thewunderkind]

"I DUNNO!" she yelled a little to angry throwing her hands in the air before realizing what she had done and growing quiet again. "I dunno about ANYTHING, but I don't want to be REPRIMANDED or something HAPPENS in the SENSORIUMS and then STACY is like 'nu-uh you can't do SQUAT because you didn't get a SHOT!' or whatever."

She was so red you think she'd caught the world's worst sunburn.

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Howard heard 'pregnant'. He heard 'book'. And then he realizes that life is too short and wandered off to play Simon Says instead.

[encourage]

Sakura, for her part, heard "intent" and "stacy," then responds by picking up a needle-less shot and holding it against Lash's upper arm. It isn't much of a shot, and doesn't give Lash much to feel.

And it's done.

"Wouldn't want to disappoint Sta'c," she said dryly. "Never know how she'll censor our lives next. Get Zetta in for his shot in the next twenty four guesstimated hours. Before either one of you decides to have a temporary reprieve from life in the sensoriums."

[thewunderkind]

"Wait that's it?" she said looking at her arm. "I thought it was gonna be more painful. I'm waaay more used to needles being jammed in my elbows--" she suddenly stopped and looked at Sakura, terrified.

"Wait wait wait. I HAVE TO TELL HIM TO COME GET A SHOT? But but but but...I haven't even told him this. He's gonna think..."

[encourage]

"He's going to think what most guys think. If you're not ready to talk to him about this, you shouldn't have been here asking for that shot in the first place." She was colder without meaning to be. Not very relenting in this moment. "You need to talk at some point."

[thewunderkind]

Lash was suddenly, completely, just speechless and stared at her.

[encourage]

"Can you even say it out loud? You want to be prepared for if, or when, you and Zetta start engaging in sexual intercourse."

[thewunderkind]

"Ohmygosh I've been in the army most of my life, I've seen all my men naked okay."

Not the same thing, Lash.

"I was just..you know. Thinking ahead. Or something."

[encourage]

"You're still avoiding saying sex." Sakura crossed her arms over her chest.

[thewunderkind]

Lash stared at her again. And then...

"Sex sex sex sex sex SEX SEX SEX SEX. Is that good enough for you?"

[encourage]

Sakura kept her face neutral.

Then she coughed into her hand, and that cough turned into a chuckle, and then she was laughing. Laughing hard enough she has to lean against another examination table in the medbay, and she can't stop.

[thewunderkind]

Aww come on it wasn't that funny...okay maybe it was. Unfortunately Lash was too busy worrying about things to be able to laugh at it and all she could (pathetically) add to make it worse was...

"So uh do you have a pamphlet or a book I could read maybe?"

[encourage]

She straightens up, running a hand under her eyes. She'd laughed hard enough to start crying. If people weren't doubting her sanity now...

"Yes, I've a few I can get onto your Omnicomm if you want to stop by the MediaLibrary with me later. Standard health pamphlets are all kept in file there, saving on any kind of paper or plastic product waste."