trans_9 | [closed] Uncertain heart

After returning to Stacy, Fuu had found herself drawn towards the Hydroponics bay once more. Even though the walls were of living tissue and some of the trees were very different than any she had seen in her previous travels, it still reminded her of the garden in Cephiro's last castle. And... it was similar in that way, too, wasn't it? There were other worlds left, certainly, but on this ship of refugees, it was one of the few green spaces they had.

It was big enough that she could walk for quite a while without seeing any walls, and the strange animals in here were fascinating enough to watch for hours. She leaned against a tree, watching the stilt gliders swoop above the leaves, but however intently she observed their movements it didn't stop the rest of her mind from thinking.

"I killed men I didn't know."

"Was there a choice, Magic Knight? They would have killed you."

"There should have been," she murmured. "I didn't decide to go there. What if things weren't as they seemed? Even if the king had been killed and replaced, that doesn't automatically mean the Baron was fighting for a just cause."

Windam didn't answer that question, but Fuu hadn't truly expected him to. "Windam... what will you fight for?"

"Cephiro. Always Cephiro."

"You wanted to fight on Halatun."

"You were in danger. Cephiro needs your strength of heart, but heart alone cannot keep you alive here."

"I see." The words were cold but for the way he said them. Windam was as old as the planet itself. He had to have lived for eons, waiting for the day the Magic Knights would be summoned to fight the most powerful force in that world. That was his existence. But though he was committed to Cephiro above all else, she knew she was more than a tool to him.

He had told her to find the truth back when they had awakened aboard Stacy. The truth would lead them to Cephiro's salvation. And Earth. What about Earth...?

Sometimes she wished she could stop thinking about these things.

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"I've been having the same problem," Clef admitted after a moment's silence.

"Is it very severe?" he asked. "What I mean is, do you ever have difficulty thinking straight?"

He couldn't bring himself to get more specific than that, so he just sort of hoped that she'd know what he meant.

"It is," said Fuu, nodding. "I think about how I hope Umi and Hikaru will be released from the pods, about how we were like sisters, and then I start to think about my real--sister--"

She stopped and swallowed hard. Fuu couldn't even say that she had a child's hope of her family being asleep in the pods. Neither her parents nor Kuu had any abilities that would make them attractive recruits as interdimensional warriors. She had to believe that they had died with Earth. And while it was said that acceptance was the final stage of grief, Fuu hadn't yet found any peace.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, taking off her glasses to wipe at her eyes with her fingers. "This... happens too often."

"Fuu--" Clef leaned in and reached for one of her hands to clasp in both of his. For a moment he was grateful that he hadn't been so focused on his own pain that he failed to be there for her, but he still didn't know what to say. It struck him that she was apologizing, as though ashamed of her emotional weakness, when he thought that she was showing much more strength than he was.

"No one could blame you," he sighed, tears forming at the corners of his eyes.

Fuu closed her fingers around Clef's hand, clenching her other hand over the jewel on her armor as she struggled with herself. It's hard not having someone who understands. If you have someone to talk to, it's okay. Kuu was dead, but what she'd said was still true. Clef understood, too. He had lost people dear to him and his entire world just as Fuu had.

He's crying. Blurred though her vision was, Fuu could see the too-bright shine to his eyes. "You hurt too, don't you," she said quietly. "It's too much to lose all at once."

He nodded and closed his eyes, letting the tears fall. For once he tried not to worry about appearing weak or apologizing for getting all his emotions all over the place.

"I don't want you to get the idea that it isn't alright to express pain over this," he said finally. "So I'm going to stop setting a poor example."

[closed] Uncertain heart

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pretend this icon is Fuu and not Umi

so late sorry ;o;

It's okay, you see how punctual I am.