trans_9 | Happy Happy Fun World: Land of the Pharaohs

"What was what for?" Vala turned to him, concern and confusion plastered all over her innocent lying face. "Are you all right Daniel? What's happened?"

Trust him to instinctively blame her, she thought. Still, he hadn't exactly ruined this, she could still worm her way out. And not with too much difficulty either. "Is it your foot?" she asked, glancing down towards both his feet and the heavy napkin dispenser. Okay, so maybe that conclusion was a little too convenient, but he had jerked it out of the way and consequently all his weight was on the other. It wasn't that much of a stretch.

It was then that Vala spied the 'culprit'. "I think you'll find it was," she bent down and re-emerged from under the counter to plonk the metal box on the counter with a seriously pissed look on her face, "THIS!"

Vala glared at the boy. "That could have broken my husband's foot!" The husband part hadn't really been planned, it just came out. Oh well it gave her annoyance more credibility. She'd deal with Daniel's reaction to that later, but for now she just winked at him over her shoulder, hopefully encompassing the whole Trust me, I've got this. Just keep quiet sentiment in one tiny aside.

"Why isn't that thing secured?" She picked it up and dropped it on the counter again for emphasis with a heavy thud. She didn't wait for a response from the bumbling apologetic kid, other than a couple of stuttered 'I'm sorry's. Vala grabbed the tray and finished with an indignant "You're lucky I'm not taking this further. But I do expect this to be on the house at the very least!"

Before she stormed off in her affronted whirl of a hurricaine that left behind a wake of 'what the hell just happened?', Vala grabbed two Gingerbread mummies as an afterthought. "...and these too!"

Edited 2011-10-18 13:14 (UTC)

Daniel nursed his foot a second longer, uncertain if she was messing with him, maybe revenge for pulling her leg on the obs platform, or if she was telling the truth. He didn't actually see her step on his foot, but considering her grace around the mummy, it was a possibility. Then again, he'd also been wrong about her stealing the hand device. Daniel's mouth opened and closed with a snap. The napkin dispenser had been balanced precariously...

What?! Daniel suddenly forgot all about his foot. Husband? What was she talking about?! The blood left his face. Some crazy, panicked part of him flailed around, babbling, wondering if he'd, according to her culture, somehow gotten married to her, maybe by agreeing to eat in the same room or something. As if accidentally getting married the first time hadn't been bad enough. He hadn't even realized it happened, and if it hadn't been for Skaara and his friends giving him crap over trying to help out, Daniel suspected he might never have known it. It was possible.

Daniel stared blankly at her wink, too shell-shocked by the 'husband' part to actually get the motion. Or do much to stop her from leaving. More like flouncing. Or actually realize she was gone until he found himself standing frozen in place, with a frightened and confused cashier. That that makes two of us, Daniel wanted to say.

"I don't even- I'm-" Daniel flustered, wondering what the hell just happened. He dropped his share of the money to the cashier. Probably a little extra, he was too bewildered to properly count it out. "I'm sorry, she's--"

-out of line, he finished for himself silently, now that his brain was working to catch up with what happened. It didn't escape his notice that she'd basically pulled a shock and awe on the poor kid. Jack would've been proud, or the fact that she'd avoided paying. Come to think of it, he thought he heard the napkin dispenser hit the ground after his foot got hurt, not right then. Taking the tray, Daniel hurried to catch up to Vala. She was further off, and out of sight, almost hidden amongst some stalls. Daniel almost walked past her.

He caught her by the shoulder. "Vala, what was-" Daniel changed his mind. "You know what, never mind. We're going back. You're going to explain yourself and we're going to pay the rest of the food."

Edited 2011-10-18 21:53 (UTC)

It never occured to Vala that Daniel might actually wonder if he was married to her, much less shell shock him. She may be capable of many things but she wouldn't deceive him to that extent, not now. Vala was so used to Daniel simply being impervious to her now that it had seemed like a harmless lie that would earn her nothing more than a patented Daniel scowl of disapproval.

Making any dispensations for the fact that Daniel didn't know her anymore wasn't an adjustment she was finding easy. Actually she wasn't really trying. Strike that, she wasn't even consciously aware of any need to. Vala was carying on as if there wasn't a time difference issue at all. If she thought about it she might realise that it was her way of coping, but as it was she was simply oblivious and continuing in her own sweet way. Or her own sweet way as of a couple of years ago, now that part she was aware of, just not why.

"What?!" she replied incredulously, shirking out of his touch. It would be natural to assume she was protesting to the going back and paying, but Vala is anything if predictable.

"What do you mean, the rest of the food? Don't tell me you paid for any of it? And after my dazzling performance?"

Edited 2011-10-18 22:32 (UTC)

"Of course I paid my share!" And now that he thought of it, he probably overpaid a little. Thanks Vala. Thanks a lot. And his foot still hurt. "You did that on purpose?! Why? if money's a problem, I wouldn't have minded paying for you this time."

So Vala used him like a distraction just to scam someone. He should've known. Now the wink made more sense. Daniel should probably get used it, to getting used, but the truth was it never quite got old. Figuring out you just got had never felt routine. Eva had only done the same thing earlier. Well, sort of. At least Vala hadn't gone far as Eva, or done something so inhuman, or so unacceptable. Scamming someone out of food was much less worse than inadvertently helping someone get tortured, and all just because Eva had to get her rocks off. Maybe he was a little bitter. Scratch that, still very bitter. What Vala did wasn't right, but he could deal with it better.

Daniel let go, but moved to block her way out, just in case she felt like making a run for it, then saw there wasn't any point. All she had to do was turn around and go out the back. Good thinking, Jackson. Maybe she didn't notice yet.

There was one bright side to this. If this really was a performance...

"So... not married then?" Daniel asked hopefully.

Edited 2011-10-19 07:19 (UTC)

"You told me not to buy the goods!" Vala protested. "And now you're mad at me for not buying the goods. Jeez Daniel, make your mind up!" What? It was a perfectly good argument in her opinion. He had said that hadn't he? If she was aware that she'd followed the letter of his 'law' rather than the essence then she wasn't letting it show.

"I thought you might have been pleased. Because even if I do say so myself, that-" Vala gestured wildly with her hand back towards the booth "was a stroke of genius."

Vala sighed, stuck her tongue in her cheek and rolled her eyes. Clearly she couldn't do right for doing wrong, wasn't that always the way with Daniel. "And technically I am, but it's complicated. I consider myself a free agent though. Why do you ask?" Vala smirked, she just couldn't resist, even more so when she's being cornered. Sorry Daniel.

Edited 2011-10-19 07:55 (UTC)

Daniel's mouth once again opened and closed, just like a fish. Embarrassingly enough, he knew it too. Only Vala managed to get this dumb reaction out of him.

"That's not what I meant! I was saying not to expect anything or bother with it, not take it!" Daniel exclaimed. Technically she'd followed what he said. Only taken it so literally that he might as well've not said it. At least she hadn't turned around and made a break for it. He could still get her to see reason.

He guessed it was a stroke of genius. Daniel certainly hadn't thought to do it. Or get involved as the distraction. He also certainly wasn't going to say so out loud. She'd take it as encouragement.

Oh good. She was married too. Although he didn't know what complicated and free agent entailed. Maybe she had multiple husbands.

"Oh nothing. Just...relieved, that's all." Daniel didn't know what Sha're would have done if she found out he stumbled into a marriage. Probably laugh at him first. Unless multiple spouses were something the Abydonians did. He hadn't exactly had a chance to see all aspects of the Abydonian culture. Monogamy and arranged marriages seemed to be norm, but from what hints he saw, they had developed from the Egyptian transplants, and not exactly mirroring back on Earth. It left plenty of room for error in his case.

So the point he was getting at was that he'd only just scratched the surface on Abydonian customs and relationships, and only just the one tribe, and not in depth. But he did know Sha're. Sha're would probably kill him. Come to think of it, when she'd practically put her tongue down his throat in front of Jack, Sam and the other soldiers, it almost felt like she was re-staking a claim, and not entirely for his own benefit. Ad not just because of Sam, but Jack too.

Edited 2011-10-19 08:09 (UTC)

"Well perhaps you should have made yourself more clear then, because obviously you didn't." Vala shrugged, this couldn't possibly be her fault, any blame to be had will rest firmly at Daniel's feet thank you very much. "Besides, I don't see the problem. It's overpriced garbage and whatever you left them, they've probably already made a huge margin on it."

Vala took a huge unladylike bite of her burger to test the theory, and with a cheek full of burger added "Yep. Not worth the price of the box they served it in." But she'll take a slurp of the shake too, just to be doubly sure.

"Relieved that I'm a free agent, or that I'm married?" She finally asked after swallowing the oversized bite of the 'dreadful' burger which tasted delicious. "Or are you just relieved you're not married to me?" The way she posed that question was all bitter sarcasm and hurt, she knew what the answer was, she hadn't exactly made the best of impressions, but it didn't stop her asking.

"I was clear! I couldn't be any more clear!" Daniel was certain it couldn't have been taken any other way. Either she really didn't understand the concept, something from being off world or she'd chosen to deliberately read it that way. Daniel leaned towards that one. She'd shown before she could read between the lines. Even the big lines that didn't even need it. Vala also seemed to intent on devouring the burger before he could drag her back to the stand. He took her by the arm. "I don't care what you think of the food. We're going back. Come on."

Daniel stared as she took one of the largest bites possible. How did it even fit? For being "garbage", she sure seemed to enjoy it. Daniel helplessly watched the shake start to vanish too. Vala, it seemed, was no more interested in paying than she was listening to him. He was probably going to have to cover her. Why, why, why did he leave the ship for this? He could've been in his lab, working, actually enjoying himself. Peace, quiet, his foot might be in tact, and he wouldn't have been part of a scam. Or let his food cool while he argued with Vala.

He didn't expect her to sound so hurt. "It's not you," Daniel said quickly, then had to wonder why he was rushing to reassure her. So far she'd broken his stuff and now used him as part of her scam. Maybe he did rescue her, maybe he didn't, but it hadn't happened to him yet. He didn't actually owe her anything.

It was easier to tell yourself that, harder to actually go through with it, to compartmentalize people. "Relieved that I didn't get married again," he clarified before she got the wrong idea and went down the free agent road or something.

Edited 2011-10-20 21:09 (UTC)

"Good idea! Let's go back, admit it was all just an opportunistic scam and spend the rest of shore leave incarcerated on a planet we know nothing about." She didn't pull her arm away from him, in fact she started to lead - back in the direction of the booth.

"I don't know about you, but there's nothing I enjoy more than taking uninformed chances with alien penal systems. Who knows, it might even be a death sentence. That'll be fun." Vala strode purposefully ahead calling his bluff. She fully expected him to realise she had a point and hold her back... any moment now.

"Well I can empathise with that sentiment," she responded blithely regarding his relief. She didn't really want to get any further into that for more than just selfish reasons regarding Tomin. Vala had no idea if Sha're was dead in Daniel's timeline and she'd rather not go anywhere near that, not now anyway.

At least the marriage question was out of the way. Too bad it wasn't the only problem he had to deal with.

Any moment that's...probably not now. If she thought he was going to balk to save his own skin, she was wrong. Vala cheated them, and it wasn't even out of survival or necessity. He didn't have it in him this time to hustle her bodily back to the stall. It it weren't for the healing ribs, he'd have managed it, easily. Since he was stuck with them, it left him with limited options.

"You know what? Fine." Daniel snapped. He might not have been savvy as she apparently was in cheating people and in hindsight, he should've seen her scam for what it was while it was happening, but he could see what she was doing now. She thought he was bluffing, and she was trying to out bluff him. Daniel wasn't bluffing. Maybe she didn't know him as well as she thought. The archaeologist suddenly let go of her arm. "You go do what you want. I'll explain to them and pay the damn thing."

Daniel stalked off towards the booth. If there was a death sentence for something like this, she could tell Captain Kennedy what happened. Have fun with that, Vala.

God he was as stubborn as a mule sometimes, it was so infuriating. For a moment she just stood there wondering what to do. She might have exaggerated with the death sentence thing, but the fact still remained that they knew nothing of the local laws.

"Daniel!" She shouted. "Daniel, wait," she caught up with him at a jog and landed herself squarely infront of his path. If he could be stubborn, well then so could she... At least that was the plan...

"...I'm sorry, okay," she sighed, making sure she had full eye contact and he'd know she was genuine, because she really was. "I'm sorry about the food, I'm sorry about the Mummy and I'm sorry that I have completely messed up any chance I had of making a better impression on you than I did the first time we met."

Wow, that whole being completely honest thing really was emotionally challenging, she hadn't even meant to say that last part. No wonder she'd always avoided it. Vala clenched her jaw to stop herself getting anymore upset.

"We can't go back though, you must be able to see that. We have no idea of their criminal justice system. And it's only a free burger, it's hardly the crown jewels, Daniel."

Edited 2011-10-20 22:30 (UTC)

Daniel had to stop suddenly, nearly dropping his own food, in an effort not to bowl her over. He regarded her over his glasses. She seemed sincere. She seemed to actually feel sorry for her actions, but now that he'd seen her actually deliberately cheat someone...

He wanted to believe she was sorry though.

"You made a worse first impression?" It was out of his mouth before he could stop himself. Daniel winced. It wasn't like she'd made the first worst impression. He'd only called her a thief and accidentally stole from her. But she easily made up for that breaking the mummy, Daniel added. It wasn't exactly even, but he'd seen better first impressions all around. Daniel shook his head. "It's in the past." Er, future, in the case of the last one? Although maybe it couldn't happen that way if this was their - his first meeting. He could feel his brain hurting at just touching on the complications of time travel. "There's nothing we can do about it except move on."

Daniel, more gently than before, moved her out of the way with his free hand. He was going to do the right thing. Besides, they probably didn't make it a habit to execute guests. Maybe temporarily detained them. "Like I said. I'm not making you go back. I'll do it."

Edited 2011-10-20 22:49 (UTC)

"Well I think you enjoyed it in parts," Vala sort of cringe hooked her bottom lip into an over the top expression, tilting her head and looking to the pink sky as she recalled the kiss. "At least, I like to think you did. No, you definitely did."

She nodded in agreement, yes it was all in the past. Everything. The Mummy, the healing device, the 'Prometheus'. That was way way way in the past. Maybe this being truthful and genuinely apologising thing really did work for the best. With Daniel, anyway. She wasn't convinced it was the best policy in a lot of situations though, including the food.

"Well there's nothing I can do to stop you and I haven't got a Zat to hand," she jested with a wry amused smile. "But here's my share," Vala promptly handed over some of her currency.

That was quite the achievement for Vala, shame he didn't know it.

You know, that was almost a leer. A ghost of one. Daniel almost lost his train of thought. What?!

"Do I even want to know?" Daniel muttered under his breath. He decided after a second that no, no he didn't. For his continued sanity, he didn't. Vala had this look on her face like she'd just been told she had to go get a root canal, but after a moment, dumped the money in his hand. Whatever a Zat was, Daniel was counting himself lucky she didn't have one.

He closed his fingers around it and put it into a pocket. "Thank you."

Although it wasn't necessarily the money he'd been concerned about. Daniel was prepared to pay her share, so the money would have come from somewhere, but he was more concerned with doing the right thing, and setting this right. As far as he saw it, Vala could come along or stay back. He hoped she'd come with. Daniel started toward the booth, glancing over at Vala to see what she'd do.

Edited 2011-10-20 23:29 (UTC)

Vala had mostly hung back behind Daniel while he explained. She'd made the appropriate regretful faces and placatory smiles, but mostly just reiterated what Daniel said when she did speak. Which involved repeating the last two words of some of his sentences, although she couldn't help shooting him the odd 'well you didn't have to say it like that' look.

Right, so that was all over and Daniel was happy.

"Now where?" She smiled at him cheerfully as if they'd just come off a ride and nothing out of the ordinary had happened at all. "Valley of the Gods? I know the way."

Edited 2011-10-20 23:42 (UTC)

Of course she knew the way. She only got the directions mid-scam.

That only took longer than it should've. Vala didn't help things along by latching onto the end of his sentences or glaring at him. Daniel glared at her back, a silent 'shut up' which she didn't seem to get. This wasn't his fault! He wanted to pay for the food. Like most people did. It was a good thing Daniel had so much practice talking to hostile locals, because he pulled every trick he knew to avoid getting them thrown into a detaining cell for a few hours. In the end, they got off with a slap on the wrist.

Daniel glanced over his shoulder. The slap on the wrist just happened to take the form of a security guard tailing them from a safe distance, a reptilian-armadillo looking alien with four beady purple eyes, all of which were always on them. Daniel got the message. The guard was probably going to do this the entire day, and he didn't care if they knew they were being followed. He was here to stay. This was supposed to be a relaxing shore leave.

He tried to ignore the guard.

"You still want to bother with this place?" Daniel had been hoping she'd call it quits. Even without the near successful scam, Land of the Pharaohs was something he could've done without. Couldn't they have gone somewhere else? This place asked him to turn his brain off to manage. Daniel couldn't do that. The tagin tasted okay. Not the best he'd ever had, but not the worst either. Although he'd only know in a few hours whether it was safe or not, and he ended up food poisoned. With how today was going, that was certainly on the table.

Vala's initial draw to 'Land of the Pharaohs' had been the potential for acquiring shiny things. Shiny things she could trade back onboard Stacy with, but that thought had been dashed as soon as they'd arrived and she'd realised it was all tacky replicas.

"What? After you went to all that effort to get us our very own attractive chaperone?" She turned full circle as they walked, giving the guard a cute little wave. "Don't you think leaving would be a bit rude? I'm positive that Scales has never felt so important in his life. Would you deny him his moment of self inflated purpose?"

The guard glared at Vala with every single eyeball and did his best to look extra menacing. All he needed to do was pound all three fists into the other three palms to complete the image. Vala might be just a little cruel there with the sarcasm, but the thing was, she... might be right about the guard's job picking up. Tailing the two of them was probably the most exciting thing to happen to him all day. Daniel felt a tiny grimace of a smile coming onto his face. He tried to stop it before it came out. Daniel didn't want to smile, because he still wasn't happy with how shore leave was going, with Vala at the moment, but, and the smile threatened to grow, Vala did have a way with words that was pretty...well, pretty special.

Daniel pretended to clean his glasses until he got the urge under control.

"We wouldn't need our friend here if you'd just paid like everyone else," Daniel settled the glasses on the bridge of his nose. They continued through the crowd, passing through another archway, this one depicting Cleopatra as an exceedingly well-endowed, four armed Elizabeth Taylor. If she'd been born a naga. "Now stop baiting him. Can we at least try to enjoy the rest of the day?"

Not that Daniel was so far, aside from the non-Stacy food. They came out into a plaza. The first thing they were confronted with was a sign proudly proclaiming "Welcome...The Valley of the Gods, Mortals", followed by a line of towering statues leading up a cause way to what was a barely passable scale replica of the Great Pyramids.

"I wasn't baiting him, unless of course he can lip-read, which I highly..." Vala stopped herself from continuing, clamping her lips together hard and very obviously. Enjoying the day was hardly going to happen if she kept arguing with him, even if she was right.

"Absolutely! So Valley of the Gods it is then, with copious amounts of enjoy." Although how a tribute to a bunch of power hungry false gods was supposed to be fun, she really wasn't sure. Religion of any description didn't sit well with Vala, for obvious reasons. She raised one cynical eyebrow at the grandiose statues ahead, a faint look of disdain for them on her face.

Yes, Vala, it's better for everyone if you just don't assume anything at the moment. Besides, Daniel didn't think the guard needed to be able to lip sync to get what Vala's insolent wave and smile meant.He knew exactly why he was tailing these two guests. Daniel hated to say it, but they deserved it. Vala did at least. It wasn't like being pinned for something she didn't do. And she was lucky to get the guard detail. The manager and security wanted to keep them both in a cell until shore leave was over or kick them back up to Stacy.

Daniel studied the statues. He thought he could see Anubis, but why he was portrayed as having the relics for fertility and the harvest was beyond him. He looked at her, catching the disgust on her face. With the way Vala said the name, you'd almost think she didn't want to continue. Since she did have some experience with the Goa'uld, she knew more than the average person did about them, how they operated. Yeah, 'Gods'.

"You're the one who wanted to come." Even with the Goa'uld taking on some gods, it didn't have to mean they were all Goa'uld. Even if they were, it was possible to study them by taking a step back, try to look at it with an academic eye.

Edited 2011-10-22 02:22 (UTC)

"Okay so I wanted to come, but not for..." Vala shrugged it off, it was only a load of statues representing history. "Stop making sense," she smiled wryly. "I hate it when you do that." She was still smiling though, the comment was much more affectionate than accusatory.

It was then that Vala spotted Ray. The Sun God, apparently. He was a fat jolly type, and seemed to resemble Santa Claus. She might have never met Ra, but this was definitely nothing like she'd heard. Both eyebrows shot up in amused disbelief, before slowly turning her head sideways towards Daniel with much the same look. "I think they got some details wrong somewhere."

Edited 2011-10-22 11:21 (UTC)

That did get Vala a small, genuine smile. "I can't help it." Most of the time he liked to think he made sense. He didn't always.

Daniel drifted up to the statue. It was fat, topped with a grinning hawk-falcon, and looked a lot more like Santa Claus that it ever should. If it wasn't for the giant sun disc (not even placed the right way, Daniel cringed) on his head or the scarab beetle with one too many legs, Daniel would never have guessed who this was supposed to be.

"Is this supposed to be Ra?" he asked incredulously. Daniel looked to the inscription, as if hoping it would prove him wrong. The God of the Moon, Ray, bringer of plague and war. Daniel looked back at the statue, the not-Ra. Even Vala looked like she couldn't believe it. "No kidding. The only thing they got right was the name. Ra was nothing like this!"

Ignoring the fact that they got the basics wrong, Ra wasn't the god for plague and war, that was Resheph, Ra hadn't been anything like what Egyptian mythology and the rest of the academic world thought he was either. He'd been something more. Ra was gone, but Daniel didn't think he'd ever forget the encounter for the rest of his life. Ra wasn't this. He'd been supremely confident, which made sense considering he claimed he was a god, and uncomfortably beautiful, in a way that you couldn't help but watch him. It was in how he carried himself, how it affected his looks. It didn't look quite right; more like watching a cobra weaving towards you than another human being. Daniel suspected it would've looked wrong no matter what body Ra had worn.

Edited 2011-10-22 11:50 (UTC)

"I have no idea." Vala scoffed with a laugh, but she was clearly more amused by the whole fiasco than offended. Which wasn't the reaction she expected Daniel would have. If there were more like this, then Daniel was going to presumably go on and on and probably at a million miles an hour with no pause for breath. If they were to get to the end of the row today then Vala would have to literally drag him from each statue before he wrote a thesis on the inaccuracies.

"I think this statue would provide endless entertainment at a System Lords convention though." She could just imagine them all polishing their egos over what a joke he'd been made to look. It was also a ploy to get Daniel to just laugh and move on.

This wasn't funny, this was a travesty! It wasn't like Daniel cared if it pissed the System Lords off. This wasn't about them. What he did care about was the mockery it made of an entire culture and his own line of work. And people paid for this! Daniel had just gotten done explaining the purpose of the Jungle Cruise and the intent behind it, and sadly enough, even the Jungle Cruise got more right than this place. But the point was people wanted to see the idea of Egypt without actually having to go to Egypt. This was so far from Egypt and Egyptian culture that it might as well be another planet entirely. Why even bother calling it Land of the Pharaohs? He couldn't see a single thing right. Not one. Zero. How hard was it to get at least one detail right?

"Are you kidding, they might have gotten one giggle out before Ra killed them for the insolence." Daniel told her. He strode up to the statue, spine radiating wounded academic pride. "I mean look at this! They have Ra holding a cow uterus-"

At least, he thought it was one, if someone tried shaping it from a bendy straw.

"- which is not only completely incorrect, it's a symbol that belongs to Meskhenet, a goddess of childbirth and fate, along with..." Daniel trailed off, eyebrows furrowed as he caught a glimpse of something. The archaeologist leaned forward. Was- was that a birth brick in Ra's hand too?

Right, well that worked a treat. Vala stood, arms crossed hanging back as he failed to raise even the tiniest of smiles and went in for the kill instead. As Daniel verbally tore apart every last detail the statue had to offer, and possibly risked a heart attack in the process, Vala simply rolled her eyes and chose to focus her attention on the pink sky instead. It was actually very pretty she considered, and that cloud was almost shaped like a chalice. She imagined it studded with jewels and winking at her as the sunlight caught the jewels' facets.

"Travesty." She interjected from behind him, to assure him she was paying attention, then returned her attention to the now full blown imagined Treasure trove in the sky.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(handwaving the admission to the clerk)

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject