Check It Before I Wreck It [Rap Battle, Totally Open]

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

The beautiful thing about the Sensoriums is that you can be anyone you think you are in your addled little head. For Punchy, that tends to be a superhero, a playboy billionaire, and a hardcore gangsta. Today, he is also a beloved rapper with mad flow and about eight hundred shawties surrounding the stage, hollering 'whoo!' every time he so much as exhales.

The room is set up to look like the inside of a swanky club, with two stages facing each other and a bar at the back. The lights are stark, shining on the mics up at the edge of the stage. Hologram audience members mill around between the two barricades, many carrying signs declaring that they want to jump Punchy's bones.

He steps up to the mic and taps it. It's on and loud.

"Testing, testing…"

Wild applause. In the audience, a pretty young blonde screams "he looked at meeeeee!" and faints.

"I don't see any challengers!" Punchy yells at the crowd, to apoplectic cheering. He clears his throat and continues, letting the Sensoriums provide some dope beats.

"I look for opponents but where might they be?
It seems like they be proponents of fighting to flee
They don't wanna admit they're all biting off me
If you think I'm wrong, step to the mic and see."

[OOC: Feel free to jump on in and gawk, battle, mock, dance or do whatever! Multi-person threading is also cool!]

Comments

[thisclinchesit]

Shoutarou steps into the Sensorium having heard the noise from outside, and his curiosity got the better of him.

Once he's inside, he's staring slack-jawed at this whole thing.

What.

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

From the stage, Punchy points at Shoutarou and yells into the mic. "Yo, Shou? You came to get schooled, homeboy?"

The crowd starts cheering for Shoutarou to take the stage.

[thisclinchesit]

Oh hey there spotlight, Shoutarou will be shielding his eyes from you now.

"Punchy, the hell is going on here?" Because he is very, very confused.

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

"What, dawg, you never been to a solid trouncing before?" He waves his arms at the crowd. The applause is deafening. Someone throws their leopard-print bra onstage and it gets stuck on the mic stand.

"This is a rap battle, yo. Bring the pain or bounce."

[thisclinchesit]

So -that's- how it is, eh? The detective shakes his head for a moment, then struts up through the crowd as a blue mask forms around his face, and a mic forms in his hand. He steps on the stage, taking a position a few feet away from Punchy. "Alright, I'll show you how we do things in Fuuto, then." He motioned with his hand.

"Got ourselves a clash here - hero versus hero
The crowd called for it, so who was I to say no?
But I bet you didn't know I'm also a Kamen Singer,
Best watch yourself, I'll put you through the wringer!"

[changelingdude.livejournal.com]

A screech filled the air cutting through the music and the crowd as a bird flew over the stage and landed shifting back into Beastboy and striking a pose.

"You want a throwdown well the boy is here,
I'm a beast on the mic my words are magic to your ears!
I don't eat meat but my skills are mean,
throw up your hands for the lean green rapping machine!"

This was followed by Beastboy doing a "Raise the roof motion" encouraging the crowd.

Feel free to NPC the crowd, too.

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

The crowd goes wild for Beast Boy too. Punchy's rigged it so that now that there's a challenger, the crowd will respond as a normal audience would, rather than as a bunch of brainwashed Punchy fangirls. Not that there's anything wrong with brainwashed Punchy fangirls.

"Ahem," Punchy says loudly, to quiet the raucous audience down enough for his next slam. The beat picks up tempo a bit.

"Son, you look like a dog walking on its hind legs
You may not be chicken, but I'ma scare you 'til you lay eggs
And sip from my cup of victory while you be mopping up the dregs
You'll be extinct like ancient history, so I'll wait here while you beg
Because you bring a tough talk when you bring your game 'round hither
But I think you'll take a moment when you see what I deliver
Because your name's on the verbal arrows loaded in my quiver
And I'ma hunt you down, so maybe now you'll reconsider
You say you're gonna beast out
But I think maybe you oughta make and peace out."

[changelingdude.livejournal.com]

Beastboy comically reeled as if he'd been decked by Punchy's lines, spinning on one foot but catching himself and striking a defensive pose.

"I ain't feeling this beat down
you're makin' me frown clown
but I'm bound to run you out of town! Zounds!
Gotta listen to these sounds sounds sounds
my mad beats and bounds
Bringing it back around round round
slip me your rent boy I own these grounds!


This was punctuated with Beastboy laughing at what he thought was his own mad genius.

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

Punchy has to admit, the laughing at the end is a nice touch, and Beast Boy's quick on his feet. Not to mention, the crowd loves him. Punchy's going to have to go into Beast Mode.

...no pun intended.

"You may be talking rent, but you're lyrically broke
So step back and take it from the talented folk
Because you started your descent while I'm up like Clark Kent
And my skills are unmet, unrelenting, heaven-sent
You call yourself an animal but you ain't nothing but a pet
You're just a raincheck while I'm a can't-be-missed event
Just sit your ass down and respect the professional
Or keep on up counting each second for the recessional
Your rhymes got me weeping like a sinner at confessional
So do me a favor and give up before I mess with y'all."

[facepunching.livejournal.com]

Soren came in.

He stared.

He marched right back out.

[quick_strike]

Soren WOULD be walking back out...if Alendian wasn't right behind him, staring in awe. In awe of how stupid humans could be. For once in her life, her mouth is hanging open, absolutely disgusted at this perversion of musical notes.

[facepunching.livejournal.com]

For once, Soren agreed with Alendian. This was not music. This was screeching, pounding dissonance.

He looked like he might actually become ill.

[quick_strike]

Her hands went over her long ears, attempting to keep out some of the sound. At this point, she cursed her own enhanced hearing and wished for dulled human sense. Maybe it would almost sound decent like that.

[potentialmonkey.livejournal.com]

Ron stepped onto the stage, taking the challenge maybe a bit personally. He HAD come up with Naked Mole Rap in the space of a day, and got a decent score from his world's Simon Cowell expy. No way was he going to let this go unanswered.

The name's Ron Stoppable, I'll step up to the floor
My rhymes are fresh and the people want more
I'm better'n you, I'm quicker, I'm faster
You think you're dope at wordplay? I'm the Monkey Kung-Fu Master."

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

Punchy beams with glee at the challenger. A brawl starts somewhere in the audience over whether Ron or Punchy is hotter, and someone streaks across the bar in their panties.

"So here comes this mofo calling himself Stoppable
If you ask me, I'd say that's probable
Because you talk a tough game but my skills are untoppable
If you want to lay me down, I'll warn you now that that ain't possible"

[potentialmonkey.livejournal.com]

Man, if Ron had a nickel for every time he'd heard something wasn't possible.

"You're kidding me right? Impossible you say?
Even if it was true I do that every day
I help save the world, my girl and I are teenage heroes
While you, bro? You're nothing but a teenaged zero.

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

Oh it is ON. Ron doesn't know he hit a nerve, but it doesn't much matter. Punchy speeds up the beat and starts on a roll, building up speed as the verse goes on.

"You put me down but I'll rise up stronger
Taking down my challengers to feed my hunger
I got a mission, ambition, and a wicked disposition
Separated cream from the crop by goddamn nuclear fission
You don't see a hero here, you better check your vision
Because if it ain't denial it's an effing eye condition

And it's practically traumatic when I step up and attack it
Hacking up my target like a semi-automatic while you be hacking up a lung
Need a breather? like pneumatic
I got you in a tizzy, got you frantic
Seeing stars and dizzy, I got you in a panic
And when I make my kill I hit the scene and bag it
Throw it over my bag, tie its legs and wrap it
And hang you on my wall, dawg you hit the wall
And I be laying it like bricks on the road of good intentions
So hot I make you sick, and did I forget to mention?
Only way you leave alive is by divine intervention
But the god of rhymes is on my side, so it'll be heartwrenching
Tell your mama to wear black and prepare for the next dimension!"

[expendable-mind.livejournal.com]

Splicer wasn't a rapper, of that he was sure. But he wouldn't miss his bro's battle for anything. Instead of joining the crowd however, he 'kicked' Stacy off the booth behind Punchy and took over as the new DJ. Now this was something he knew, and he knew it damn well.

He gave punchy a simple grin and proceeded to give him some mad beats worthy of his bud.

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

"And completing this sensation is the brother we all facing
My homeboy Splicer got the shawty's hearts all racing
I think you'll all agree that his beats are quite amazing
And compared to us, any other team's disgracing."

Punchy runs by Splicer's DJ booth and gives his buddy a big high five and a bro pound. "These beats are sick, yo!"

[expendable-mind.livejournal.com]

Splicer chuckles and returns the greeting with a cocky grin, "You know it bro. And what about you man? You're killin' em. Kickin' lyrics Punch!"

He himself wasn't a rapper as he said before, but he could totally see that his friend had a talent.

"Man, you sure this is even fair? You're gonna smoke em' before they even start!"

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

"I'm juts getting warmed up, dawg. It's like stretching." He pantomimes stretching out his shoulder. "You should step back when I really unleash the heat."

[perverttoadsage.livejournal.com]

Jiraiya still hadn't gone into the sensoriums and had probably entertained an idea of going in there and getting a bunch of girls around him, but realized it was already taken.

Curiosity got the better of him and he just looked at the guy.

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

"Whatcha staring at? Got something in my teeth?
Or maybe you're just marveling at my astonishing feats
Bring to the floor, man, and abandon all your other plans
I got skills and flow wider than your silly headband."

In other words, bring it, Jiraiya.

[perverttoadsage.livejournal.com]

Well that was uh...uh...ENLIGHTENING!

Rapping, was like strange rhyming! He could totally do this thing!

Maybe.

Probably.

Hopefully.

Son, I write books that are bestsellers,
So steamy they'll even set on fire a cave-dweller,
You want feats, I've got feats, a sannin, one of the three legendary ninjas!
You? I don't see no skills, just a boy from a different era!
If you're good like you say, step on the plate to prove your worth,
Show me what's so great about you on this earth.

[masterofnun.livejournal.com]

"Boy, don't you want to figure out where you even are?
We ain't on an earth because those orbit 'round stars
And for the record, all the orbitting's around me
I'm the hottest motherfucker in the whole galaxy
You want me to prove why I'm great on Earth
I'll take you a step up and prove it for the whole multiverse
So take a step back because your flow's just perverse
I'm the muthafucking best and you're the flat-out worst."