[Closed/Trigger warnings]

[magicgunworks.livejournal.com]

Thirteen.

That's how many witches - including the one Mami had finished off moments ago - had been released since they started showing up on-board. Mami honestly wasn't sure how many people knew about this potential threat, and really... she didn't care. This was a problem for the puella magi, not anyone else. It was their duty to find and destroy these witches, and that didn't change just because the territory changed.

She leaned back against the nearby wall, slowly sliding down it until she was sitting. She wasn't sure how much longer she could keep going like this. She was exhausted, physically and mentally; she was running on maybe three hours of sleep a night, four if she was lucky. She was still helping Homura with her idiotic, futile search for the pod Madoka slept in, and the stress from that "Visitation Day" still hasn't gone away.

And there was the thought that had been nagging at the back of her head ever since her group had gotten together after the Lirath mission. There really was no way to tell just how many witches were left. A thousand? A hundred? Ten? For all Mami knew, the one she had just defeated could have been the last one. There was no way the ship could predict how many witches would be needed to keep them healthy and still-human until they restored their worlds. Mami's own Soul Gem had been draining at an alarming rate, something that honestly scared her - partially because she didn't know why.

She stays hunched over and sitting in that hallway for a while longer - still clad in her puella magi outfit - with the grief seed she won from the defeated witch in one hand and her dim Soul Gem in another. She can't bring herself to cleanse it; if that was the last witch (or really, even if it wasn't!), what was the point? She's only prolonging a fate she has no way of escaping.

[OOC: Edited for trigger warning for possible mentions of suicide.]

Comments

[clockworkrepeat.livejournal.com]

And Homura just sits and allows this to happen. She lets her cry, and cry, and cry. She cries too, still shaking violently, and doesn't know why Mami doesn't repulse her in this moment. Why Mami herself isn't repulsed by her, either. They were both going to kill each other, weren't they? It doesn't make any sense at all to Homura, but she still clings to the other girl.

When Mami's sobs start to subside, Homura is still shaken. The shock has not worn off, and she's still shaking badly. She hasn't stopped crying. ... And she doesn't know what to say to Mami's apology. It isn't okay. It isn't alright. And she doesn't know if she forgives her. So she stays silent, and simply holds onto Mami just the tiniest bit tighter.

[magicgunworks.livejournal.com]

Mami reaches up to wipe away her still falling tears. She makes no move to pull away; she's so completely exhausted in every possible way, she's not sure she could trust herself to even sit up at this point. So she stays in this position, seemingly unaware at how potentially awkward it is.

"I understand if you don't forgive me. I can't even forgive myself... I realize how stupid I've been. How easily I was giving up..." She frowns. "I've been so weak lately. I should be ashamed of myself."

[clockworkrepeat.livejournal.com]

Though also making no move to pull away, Homura does slackens her hold. Tries to relax her body, and will herself to calm down. She reaches up and scrubs at her face. It's embarrassing, it's humiliating. She doesn't like to cry in front of anyone. And she doesn't like lingering touches, either.

But... she hasn't been so startled in a long time. The timelines have a lot of moments that mirror others. But never like that. So in a way, Mami's warm body so close is steadying.

After a moment, she finally manages to speak. "No," she says mildly. "... I don't care. It's alright. So long as I can... it doesn't matter." It isn't reassuring, and it isn't kindness-- it is Homura valuing herself very little. But it's the only thing Homura can offer Mami in response.