trans_9 | Home is where the tart is [Open]

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Home is where the tart is [Open]

Despite not requiring much in the way of food, Zouichi did know how to cook. But with friends and acquaintances from wildly different backgrounds, he figured he could stand to expand his repertoire. So today he was trying out desserts. The inside of one of the Sensoriums had been transformed into a brightly-lit kitchen, its counters covered with baking pans, bowls, fruit, flour, and a multitude of other ingredients.

Zouichi, wearing a dark blue apron, was just taking a batch of chilled dough out of the refrigerator, rolling it carefully out between waxed paper sheets. It was looking pretty good, or so he thought. Nothing had even exploded yet!

From somewhere within the kitchen, the smell of cake wafted up into the air. Caaake.

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"As long as it's not just for guests, man. You need to enjoy some of this yourself." Howard fully supports the idea of using the Inn kitchen more. He's spending most of his time not salvaging or in the medical bay at the Inn, hanging around. He suspects Emergency Rations and Alan may be becoming fond of each other.

"Don't even joke about that. That would be the single easiest way to kill me, seriously."

"I do enjoy it. By watching other people." Honestly, Howard, it's like watching action movies -- you watch the actors, you don't explode all the things yourself. Okay, bad example.

Also, that's because Emergency Rations knows who's boss. Yeah, that's right.

Zouichi gave him a look of disbelief. "Kill you? With a nail file? What are you going to do, eat it?"

"Suit yourself. It's weird, though. Food's not there to just look at, and people eating's kind of gross. Chewing and all."

As if cats are never not the boss. Although Alan can be pretty assertive...

"If the nail file's small enough, I might not even notice it before I swallow it. Besides, why would I need one? I'm not planning on getting thrown in jail."

"I don't mean watching them chew. Besides, if it's so gross, why do you keep doing it?"

Alan goes on pony rides with Emergency Rations!

"Rest assured, if I ever put a nail file in your cake, it'll be big enough so you don't swallow it by accident. Anyway, you could always use it to, say, file your nails. I hear nail files are great for that."

Edited 2011-09-11 20:07 (UTC)

"Chewing or watching other people chew? Because I'd just as soon inhale food, maybe do that thing that Anwei does, unhinging her whole jaw. Not that I'd use it to like...bite of body parts or anything."

They probably trashtalk their owners when they're not listening! Maybe Alan will help Emergency Rations destroy that damned backpack.

"There's probably way more uses than just that for a nail file. Some of them probably can conduct electricity."

"Maybe you can get someone to administer nutrients to you intravenously, cut out that extra step."

Alan could be very destructive. He'd probably even do it for free.

"Oh? Are you planning on using one in a ray gun? Maybe I should include two."

"Which is a great idea, except do you know how much of a pain it is to get an IV in? Especially on yourself? I mean, it's possible, but it's a total pain."

Which is why Howard never leaves that backpack lying around unattended.

"...You know, that might actually work in a ray gun. I've been trying to figure out how to get it to conduct but I barely know anything about electrical wiring. Right now I still can't figure out how to make it work without having to plug it in the wall, if I could even run a current through it in theory."

Zouichi sighed melodramatically. "I offer solutions, and all you have to offer is criticism. Sometimes I wonder why we're still in this relationship. I feel like the magic is gone."

He wondered what Howard kept in that backpack.

"I'm not a genius wunderkind or anything, but I always though wiring conducted electricity better than nail files. Hence why everyone uses it."

"Then offer better solutions. Duh." Have a teenager eye-roll, Zou, with a slight look of concern. Don't scare him like that, Zou! "And the magic's still totally there."

All the things that typify a teenage criminal and packrat - duct tape, knives, screwdrivers (square, flathead and Phillips), tin foil, MERs, extra batteries, markers, and of course the mini bottles of shampoo from Galilee. And some other garbage.

"Well, I have wiring. I just can't figure out how to get it to work. All the manuals look like they're written by monkeys who can't figure out which way to turn a diagram."

"Yes, sir. I'll get right on it." He paused. "Is the magic when the abandoned mine is haunted and ghosts chase you out? I thought it was more about wizards and unicorns."

What were you going to do with the shampoo bottles, Howard? How did that fit into your sinister criminal activities?

"Ah. Well, why don't you ask Lash for some pointers? I'm sure she could decipher them for you."

"Eh. Supernatural is supernatural. Although apparently we got unicorns on this boat too."

Grease for hinges, Zou. Obviously!

"Because that defeats the purpose of trying to show Lash up. She gets free stuff from my Warehouse if she proves I can't do it on my own."

"Yes, I know. I met one when I first arrived here. He was not very familiar with the idea of spaceships, but I haven't really seen him since."

Obviously! Wait, why was actual grease out of the question?

"Oh, right. How did you get into that bet again? And what do you get when and if you beat her?"

Howard nods thoughtfully. "Isn't there a unicorn or something making up a Friendship Department? I think that one's a girl, though. Don't they only talk to virgins or some weird magic thing like that?"

Because he found the shampoo first!

"I think I get to keep the ray gun. And, you know, my pride. Mostly I just made a claim I couldn't back up, so now I have to actually back it up, which sucks."

Zouichi blinked. "Really?"

Um.

"I haven't heard anything like that. Anyway, Lash should have offered you a prize if you do manage to piece the ray gun together. It's not really fair otherwise."

Like Howard's going to think anything of it, Zou. At least you've dated.

"I don't know. Maybe it's just specific to unicorns from a certain universe. And anway, isn't a ray gun a prize enough? Not like I'd use it, but I'd get to say I made something."

~~Well, that's good, because he sort of likes unicorns and also he is saving the occasion for someone special okay Howard~~

"Maybe this ship is getting to you or something. I mean, think of all that candy Lash has."

...and the T-shirts of wolves howling at the moon.

"Who said I'm not going to try and get some candy out of it too?"

Although Zouichi has a point, and it's been bothering Howard a lot lately. The ship has been getting to him. He ran across a battlefield to help Kon, stayed in the medic tent treating Kang despite the risk, blew up at Kaya when she called him a coward. He wouldn't have done any of these things a few months ago. He doesn't like it.

"You don't think the ship really changes us, right?"

He doesn't like it almost as much as he doesn't like that ridiculous t-shirt.

"Aha. And now it comes out." Wow, he was worried about you for a second there, Howard.

Zouichi considered the question. "I'd be surprised if it didn't change us. We're all a product of our experiences, myself included. You can't expect to stay anywhere for an extended period of time and not have it affect you at all."

Zouichi himself has changed, although he's not sure if it's entirely for the better.

"Yeah, but...I mean, we've only been here what, four months? Five? However time works here. That's not very long, even if we do a lot in that time." He drums his fingers over his lower lip. "I mean, I'm not saying we shouldn't change, but what happens when we go back home and we've gotten all soft and, I don't know? Courageous?"

"You're the only person I'd know who would lump 'soft' and 'courageous' together."

He shook his head. "Besides, I thought you weren't planning on going back home. Weren't you going to someone else's world?" Going soft is something that Zouichi has to worry about, but not Howard. Howard's not going back to the FAYZ... is he?

"I'm special like that."

He shakes his head and licks crumbs off the "I don't have any plans yet. I mean, I'm not going home if I can help it, unless I know Orc's stuck there, but who knows what happens at the end of all this? Maybe we won't get a choice."

At least if they don't have a choice, he won't end up feeling resentful that Zouichi ultimately chose the mission instead of doing something safe. He knows Zou prefers that sense of purpose to the alternative. He knows Zou wouldn't choose a safe, docile life in someone else's universe when his world is still overrun by zombies and evil corporations. That doesn't mean Howard doesn't wish he would, if it ever came up.

"If it turns out we don't have a choice," Zouichi said, "You need to get off the ship before we return to our worlds. You don't need to go back there."

Nothing wrong with running, Howard. Unless you're Zouichi. Then there's something wrong with it. Anyway, why should Howard feel resentful about it?

"Yeah." He nods, a little solemn.

Because he's not going to stop worrying about you just because you're off the ship, Zou. And odds are he'll never know what happens to you afterwards, whether you save your world or die trying or both. So not cool, Zou.

But onto happier subjects! "So I hear we got a real Han Solo on board. How do you think he'll react when we tell him we got a carbonite version of him in someone's basement?"

Well, Howard, if you ever die and become a ghost, you can haunt Zouichi and find out.

He raised an eyebrow. "I think he'll be either appalled or flattered. Maybe both. It's not every day someone commissions a statue of you."

"You'd think if someone was going to make a statue of you, they'd choose the highlights of your life. Not the 'frozen in carbonite' moments."

wrap!

zouichi.livejournal.com - 2011-09-14 16:43 (UTC) - Expand

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Home is where the tart is [Open]

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wrap!