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Castle of a Thousand Illusions [Private Plot]
[This is for Team 1: Lash, Zetta, Martha, Howard, Doctor, Chell, Doc, Sumeragi. The first shore leave / observation deck post is here where they can say goodbye to others.]
As they arrived and landed, there was just a small track of land with one large wooden boat. A man, clothed in black, ushered them in. He didn't answer anything, in fact from the way he squeaked from rust, it was easily to see he was mechanical. Even the water didn't look that deep until near the end, as what looked like sharks swam around them menacingly before disappearing abruptly as they arrived in the middle of a black obsidian castle. The landing wasn't gentle, and everyone was pushed against each other, as the boat lifted itself up and dropped them all together on top of stacks of hay.
There were two rooms leading out. One had carved in "YOUNDER MALE OR WHATEVER SPECIES" and the other "YOUNDER DEM BEAUTIES". Inside, each would find leather outfits, and white underwear so there would be no chaffing. They could use their plantsuits for that too. Soft moccasins for their feet too with a note that while it was not era-perfect, they figured they would appreciate not having too many bruises on their feet (at least for now). The leather was pretty fresh from the smell and looked to have been made just the right size for each person too.
Kinda really creepy when you thought about it.
But that wasn't the worst of it, oh no. The doors would not open until everyone was fully clothed. For those that still refused, ghostly white hands came out of the walls and did the deed for them, removing all weapons and putting them in the appropriate attire before giving a thumbs up and disappearing again.
As the second door opened, with a red glowing orb turning green, they could see many doors leading around twisting, moving stairs that somehow didn't quite seem possible.
The sound of a gong going off somewhere. Again. Three times. Suddenly the weather shifted to sunset (and never changed) and one could swear those ghost hands were now throwing plastic seagulls in the air, as they mostly flew for a few seconds and crashed into the walls. Seawater was blasted off from tiny little spray bottles.
A large scroll appeared, dusted itself sending dust bunnies flying into the air and unwounded before them.
ATTENTION CONTESTANTS! WELCOME YE FAIR OF MIND AND BODY, TO THE GREATEST PHYSICAL CHALLENGE IN ALL THE UNIVERSE!
After what sounded like someone thinking about it, coughing, a few more words appeared.
PLEASE HOLD ON WHILE YOUR HOST GREETS YOU, IN JUST A FEW MINUTES. THIS IS OUR PLAN, WHICH WE ARE TELLING YOU, THE CONTESTANTS.
As they arrived and landed, there was just a small track of land with one large wooden boat. A man, clothed in black, ushered them in. He didn't answer anything, in fact from the way he squeaked from rust, it was easily to see he was mechanical. Even the water didn't look that deep until near the end, as what looked like sharks swam around them menacingly before disappearing abruptly as they arrived in the middle of a black obsidian castle. The landing wasn't gentle, and everyone was pushed against each other, as the boat lifted itself up and dropped them all together on top of stacks of hay.
There were two rooms leading out. One had carved in "YOUNDER MALE OR WHATEVER SPECIES" and the other "YOUNDER DEM BEAUTIES". Inside, each would find leather outfits, and white underwear so there would be no chaffing. They could use their plantsuits for that too. Soft moccasins for their feet too with a note that while it was not era-perfect, they figured they would appreciate not having too many bruises on their feet (at least for now). The leather was pretty fresh from the smell and looked to have been made just the right size for each person too.
Kinda really creepy when you thought about it.
But that wasn't the worst of it, oh no. The doors would not open until everyone was fully clothed. For those that still refused, ghostly white hands came out of the walls and did the deed for them, removing all weapons and putting them in the appropriate attire before giving a thumbs up and disappearing again.
As the second door opened, with a red glowing orb turning green, they could see many doors leading around twisting, moving stairs that somehow didn't quite seem possible.
The sound of a gong going off somewhere. Again. Three times. Suddenly the weather shifted to sunset (and never changed) and one could swear those ghost hands were now throwing plastic seagulls in the air, as they mostly flew for a few seconds and crashed into the walls. Seawater was blasted off from tiny little spray bottles.
A large scroll appeared, dusted itself sending dust bunnies flying into the air and unwounded before them.
ATTENTION CONTESTANTS! WELCOME YE FAIR OF MIND AND BODY, TO THE GREATEST PHYSICAL CHALLENGE IN ALL THE UNIVERSE!
After what sounded like someone thinking about it, coughing, a few more words appeared.
PLEASE HOLD ON WHILE YOUR HOST GREETS YOU, IN JUST A FEW MINUTES. THIS IS OUR PLAN, WHICH WE ARE TELLING YOU, THE CONTESTANTS.
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She offered a hand and an apologetic glance as if to tell him that EVERYTHING WAS GOING TO BE JUST FINE PLEASE STOP SCREAMING AND START READING THE PAPER WHILE SHE KILLED THE WORM. The torch was back in her grasp and she brandished it in preparation, but as the ground rumbled beneath her feet she lost her balance, managing to catch herself on the organ.
Which, predictably, emitted a loud, unpleasant chord as her palm depressed the keys.
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"No no no! Bwark! All wrong no notes, all wrong, no notes!!"
The giant worm lunged at them, but stopped when Chell was on the organ. It seemed that if she was on soil that wasn't earth, it wasn't going to attack him. It did, however, his menacingly, its giant teeth out in the open in it's completely open mouth.
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"Sing a song of pleasure, a pocket full of beasts of the earth. Feed the hand that tries to bite you and gain the notes to the entrance. The key will fall out once you do for all its worth."
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She wasn't going to sing and he obviously wasn't going to play the organ (unless he rolled around on the keys or something), so at least that part was figured out.
The other part she was going to take care of RIGHT NOW. In one swift motion, she lunged forward with the torch, aiming to stab that STUPID MONSTER WORM through the gaping maw with a FLAMING STICK.
HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?!
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Yeah, that's what it was doing with them apples. Might want to remove it quickly.
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Hopefully the stupid thing would swallow the torch and choke on it and die and also catch on fire at some point.
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That was Wheatley, programmed to make bad decisions.
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You could even smell it cook too. It smelled like burning garbage, pretty much.
After that was all done, there remained a well-done cooked worm.
What next?
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JUST AS PLANNED.
With that imminent danger out of the way, she could concentrate on the organ and the stupid parrot--obviously she was supposed to make music happen, and she motioned to Wheatley to look her way and light the keyboard.
This time she used a single finger to play a single note.
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He looked up again and screamed "BIRD! STILL A BIRD HERE! BIRD!"
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Luckily, there weren't very many keys, so it was only a matter of time before she found the right one.
HOW ABOUT THIS ONE?
Time was still ticking down and her pressing the note was accompanied by a glance in the direction of her robot compatriot, as if asking for his suggestions.
She was kind of getting desperate.
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He was getting pretty angry at all these random notes.
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But really, she shouldn't have expected anything less. Now she was growing frantic, alternating glances between the countdown clock and the stupid organ and the STUPID BIRD, wondering what else she could possibly do.
She was going about it the wrong way. This was a hack, that was all, a musical hack, and she needed the password, which in this case would be a series of notes. And if there was one thing she learned from the construct and his helpful flashlight, it was that brute forcing a hack more often than not got them nowhere. They didn't have the luxury of time to sit around and plug in A A A A A A, followed by A A A A A B and so on and so forth.
There had to be another clue in the room somewhere. Her eyes moved from the organ, to the bird, to Wheatley on the floor, and finally to the stinking, charred remains of the worm. Without a second thought, she skidded to her knees and plunged her hands into the carcass, hoping to find something hidden within.
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...some very crispy and nicely cooked internal meat.
The parrot, however, was squawking excitedly when he watched her go at it, moving his wings up and down, over and over and over again.
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"Arrrgh, WHAT DO YOU WANT, YOU FEATHERY DISEASE FACTORY?! ARE YOU HUNGRY? HUH? IS THAT IT?! WELL I GOT NEWS FOR YOU, MATE! DO YOU SEE ANY BIRD FOOD AROUND HERE? HUH?!"
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There was bird food around here, and it wasn't her hand (thank goodness).
Chell sprung to her feet, her upturned palms full of innards, which she offered to the giant parrot.
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The parrot ate Chellno subject
screw you birdno subject
"Bwark!" It puffed itself up, looking it's very best, twisting it's giant head to look at Chell better.
"Do me so far? Do me!"
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"...What just happened?" he asked. Clearly he didn't realize that he had unwittingly solved the puzzle. It would have to be plainly spelled out for him later.
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She didn't know how to read music, but it was easy enough to match the parrot's intonations and figure the correct sequence of notes, which she quickly repeated on the organ.
BRING ON THAT KEY.
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Right into Chell's face. Maybe her face was like a magnet for things falling on it.
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DAMN IT
But whatever, she had the key, and that was more than good enough for her.
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