trans_9 | Getting out of the 'house'. [Open]

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Getting out of the 'house'. [Open]

Now that the crisis concerning the clock and the children were over, she couldn't be more thankful. The gurgling roar that filled her mind had died down to a more manageable but similarly annoying simmer that continued to give her plenty of reason to be eternally displeased. Still, if she planned to be anything more than a lethargic shut-in, it would require her to brave the 'babbleroar'.

Mulling over her choices for some time, she eventually decided on Hydroponics and made her way there. With the minimal amount of time she'd actually spent on Earth after joining with the Superhomeys, most of her encounters with the natural world were only conjured up from the depths of her memories.

She began walking through the wide expanse of shrubs, trees and other vegetation, intent on both relaxing and rebuilding her mental imaging of how forests and jungles were actually supposed to appear.

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That actually brought a chuckle from Azula, "Odd that you consider that method being less deplorable then simply bending the truth."

But that didn't mean she didn't respect it, or wish that she could do the same just as easily.

And there was a fresh wave of paranoia, this woman was exactly the thing that Azula had wanted so badly to avoid. Someone who could alter her brain.

"Only in the terms of what I can and can't do. I do have some semblance of a set of morals that I've vehemently stuck to (so far...) ...(Ugh, hate this unfiltered thought stream).

Mindfuck raised her hands in a shrug, a skeptical brow furrowing. "Must feel bad to be paranoid (all the time). Rest assured that if someone was going to rewire you to prune your ah...'bad habits', I'm sure they would have already."

"I just wonder if you wouldn't be more effective to our mutual goals on this ship without them." Azula mused.

And then to the paranoia she stiffened slightly, "Not without killing me first. There have been...attempts. By doctors. They spoke of procedures they wanted to perform. "It's the only way" or so they claimed. But I was lucky enough to escape such a fate for the time being."

"Running around and puppeting people on this ship doesn't help me an any way (except by opening a big can of crazy)."

For her small story, she had a good deal of sympathy. Being forced into something you didn't want 'because it's better for you' and 'they knew best' was something she could relate to.

"Which is why I hesitate to abuse abilities like that just because I can. Unlike you, I wasn't lucky enough to escape such a 'procedure' (mutilation) that was thrust on me just because some (psipsychopath) thought it was the 'best thing' for me."

"I simply meant on those we have the potential to meet, not those we have to work with."

The second part allowed Azula to raise an eyebrow. "What happened?" The natural thing to be curious about, though once again dancing around the code of manners that would say maybe MindF**k didn't want to talk about it.

She was silent for a moment as she considered whether Azula really cared to know or if she was only asking for curiosity's sake. She decided on the latter, considering the girl's previous attitude. Nonetheless, her 'voice' floated in the woman's mind.

"A few years ago my (psipsychopathic) brother decided that I wasn't making the best use of my psychic abilities. He thought I would master them all the quicker if I had to piggyback the senses of those around me to live (quote, unquote) normally."

Her lips curved into a frown and her eyebrows slanted in annoyance. "He puppeted my body and forced me to cut out my own tongue and eyes (with a pair of rusty shears, no less). I'm sure my ears and nose would have been next if others hadn't stopped him. The most thoroughly (f**ked up) part of it all is that he honestly believed he was doing the right thing."

Azula felt a shiver race through her boy and fear mingled with disgust and revulsion. Another example of an older brother ruining the life of their younger sister. It struck too close to home not to ring a bell.

Not that she felt anything more then pity for MindF**k, and some for herself.

"What became of him?"

"Taken away, presumably to be 'fixed' though I doubt there's anything anyone can do for him at this point. Attempting to delve into his mind would be looking for a touch of insanity."

She turned her head away to look in the distance at nothing in particular. "So you see why, unless the situation is dire enough, I might try avoiding doing some things that would keep me on the path of being just like him."

Azula couldn't argue that point, much like she never wished to be like her weak pathetic brother.

"As Nobel as your personal code is, I should hope you're more flexible in it's application when the time comes and victory is at stake. Morals are fine enough for those who are afraid of monsters, but monsters are what we face."

Fight fire with fire so to speak.

She shook her head slightly, a lopsided smile rising to her face. Really, it had been some time when she was the one being lectured about her morals being too strict.

"I'm surprised that I've managed to actually pull off the 'good girl' thing and not come off strange." She paused to let that little bit of amusement sink in for her.

"I think you're giving me too much credit or your own morals are so loose that you see things in a seriously (f**ked) manner (betting on that). My 'personal code' and 'morals' are not noble, it's not commendable. I'm not doing it for anyone else but me. I'm not the Purple Paladin who selflessly devotes his life to protecting others first and foremost. As such, I'm not going to be altruistic enough to value morals, codes, (blah, blah, blah) over my own survival instinct."

As if she'd sit back and let herself and others suffer just because of her own issues. An omni-verse world ending enemy was an omni-verse world ending enemy, after all.

"That's a relief." Azula rolled her eyes leaning slightly in her stance, "You'd be the first person to sound even remotely sensible in that application, unlike those from my world, one of whom even still insists on not killing anyone. Hope filled fools who still see the world through a child's eyes have no place in war."

And more to the point should not be the deciding factor in her own freedom.

"As silly as some of the ah, unwritten rules both capes and supervills follow, sometimes there's a need to use certain measures. Speaking from a (purely unbiased) sense, I don't think killing a crazed murderer makes you 'just like them' so to speak."

She shrugged her shoulders and shook her head slightly. "There's something to say about intent in one's actions and not merely the actions themself. Much like the complexities involved in one's cognisphere, most situations aren't so black and white (though many would make it seem so)."

Really, she had nothing against the more selfless types who chose such a path and one's opinion was one's opinion. Hers was just that refusing to deal with a very violent situation in a permanent manner didn't always make you 'the better person'.

"The alternative is to imprison them. If they break out...well, you've started the cycle all over again, haven't you? I'm under the (knowledgeable) impression that a stint in the clink won't 'fix' most people who are inclined to do very bad things."

"Speaking from experience...being locked away did nothing to persuade me that my brother was the true Firelord. Nor that carrying on my families legacy was wrong."

If anything it just hardened her in those thoughts.

"However, my desire to avoid returning is the largest influence on my behavior now."

"Precisely. I think it takes just a bit more than the 'sit in the corner and think about what you did' (childhood pre-teen) method to change an adult who's steadfast in their ways. If anything, it just comes off as horribly condescending."

But she supposed it worked in some sense. Azula was behaving, but she even said the words herself. She's doing it to avoid being locked up again. That didn't mean it actually changed her outlook one bit. Now that she thought about it...

"Were you the one who caused so much commotion on the day we all came from the caverns? I wasn't there to actually 'see' it (can you imagine the headache?) but my, did everyone talk about it! Not to mention the heartfelt (and hateful) emotions that ran rampart."

Azula stiffened a little and sighed, "Yes I was in a bad way upon arriving, only to be confronted by someone who used to be my best friend. Someone who betrayed me and led to my life falling apart. Someone who's every other thought now consists of killing me before I kill her boyfriend...my brother."

How's that for refreshing honesty?

"If I could take it back and avoid the weeks spent alone I might."

Maybe...probably.

Oh, so she had been right. With all the drama that went on during those first few days, she was fairly glad she kept herself holed up and as far away as she could from most of these minds.

"So...betrayed by the best friend? (Ouch!) Judging by what you've already divulged, I can only assume that she left you to join your brother on the side of, ah...'righteousness'?"

"So they would like to believe." She muttered darkly "Betraying our country, our families, generations of proud firebenders who risked their lives for our country to become the greatest." Her muscles were tightening and then finally and sharply relaxed.

"But obviously none of that matters now, our world is gone, and so long as I can avoid letting her stab me in the back...again, things should remain as they are. Tense."

"And let me guess: none of them currently side with you and your family's views, then? My, I don't think many (anyone, really) would like to believe that the circumstances behind the scenes of good and evil were ever so analogous."

Even if she was technically on the side of 'righteousness', not everything was as black and white as it appeared, despite what most capes thought. She certainly wasn't 'wrong' to want to preserve her heritage and way of life. Of course, she, herself couldn't condone overly oppressive measures, either.

She laughed though it sounded much more like a quick exhalation of air. "I see. Are you all out to still kill each other, then? I can only assume a tiny (gigantic) part of you is still very paranoid about the ah...dubious goals of your once-companions."

"Does it count as paranoia if one of them has told me to my face she intends on ending my life before I have a chance to harm my brother?" She sneered wishing so dearly that Mai would just come and make the attempt on her life already. The waiting was killing her.

"Really, now? And here I would think that would be a good thing in your eyes, considering the egregiously strict rules on Stacy. (Hypothetically speaking) any taking up of arms on your part would just be considered self defense."

"Everyone says that, but all it takes is one shot if it's done right."

And Mai hardly ever missed.

"True enough, but that works both ways, doesn't it?"

She crossed her arms, a wry smile stretching over her pale lips. "But I think you and I both know it's better to just 'behave', right?" Which would just be treating her like a child, really. It was something that she, herself would have been just as angry to deal with.

Being in control of things was something she was so accoustomed to; something that she placed on such a high tier, that being denied it would have put her in a miserable, loathsome mood.

"yes of coarse." Her words were laced with poison, "Be a "good" girl. Not the monster. Get up in the morning, though there is no morning anymore, find a task, help the ship good girl. Sit. Stay. Roll over and die a little more every day. Except there are no days anymore." She was slipping again and closed her eyes clutching at her head as if in pain.

She noticed this and offered a sympathetic look, though most of it was lost with the lack of eyes to convey such.

"Not that I have any particular say, as I haven't met the ah...'loving' (sarcasm) family and friends involved, but are they even actually altruistic enough to accept you back (not that you want to) even if you were to (quote, unquote) turn over a new leaf?"

Honestly, she didn't think that was the case on either side of the family altercation.

"Not a chance." Azula answered without hesitation. "It's too risky for them, As foolish as they are to let me live they aren't complete idiots."

She smiled that horribly unsettling smile "So the best I can hope for is they die on this suicide mission through the stars, I'll just have to make sure I thank the monster responsible."

Getting out of the 'house'. [Open]

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My god, I somehow lost this tag. I'm so fail. Sorry! ._.

No worries~

Re: No worries~

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