trans_9 | Reliving your past through innocent eyes. [Open]

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Reliving your past through innocent eyes. [Open]

Now that everything was over, and people regained their memories and appropriate ages, Ronnae found herself staring at the sketchpad her younger self was carrying around. She was somehow scared of opening it. Fearful that the memories would be too painful. She had, after all, done her best to not think about things while on the ship. She knew it would only bring her heartache knowing that they might or might not be in the pods and even then, would they be the same?

She sighed as she settled under the large tree that made up Nokosi's house, slumping down till she sat on the grassy floor, relaxing against the smooth bark of the tree. Placing the sketchpad on her lap, she looked at it with hesitation, maybe she'll take a peak.

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"I'm afraid they might open up old wounds..." she said calmly, looking down at the bird.

"I don't think you can eat candy little birdy. My apologies." a small smile on her face as she admired the bright colors of the bird's plumage.

"Ah. Well, at least you have them, in case you ever feel the need?" He paused for a moment. "I envy you a little. There are some things I can't forget."

Alan made a series of brief clicking sounds before rolling over on his back onto the ground, feet plucking idly at a blade of grass. Oh well, no treats. Grass was cool, though.

"I suppose," She replied with a small smile. "I wish I could erase some of them actually... All you can really do is try to bury them as much as you can... They... They have a tendency to arise again when you are vulnerable... or while you sleep." she said a bit embarrassed.

"Hmm. Even if you could forget them, though, they're part of what makes you who you are. ...Or that's the theory, anyway."

"You haven't been having nightmares or anything, have you? Not that it's really any of my business to ask, I suppose, but..."

"That's what they say isn't it? Learning from your past, it being a part of what makes you who you are today..." Not that she was all too pleased with who she was... But that was neither here nor there.

"I can't really escape them... they've been fairly constant for years now. Sometimes they vanish for days, even months... but they always find a way to come back and plague me."

"Well, that's what they told me. I guess they're right, in a way -- I wouldn't be who I am now without the past. But it can also be tempting to try and leave that past behind."

He nodded. "Sounds tough. Does anything in particular trigger them?"

She shook her head. "Not that I've been able to tell... They get more frequent and intense when I'm depressed." she responded idly, petting the bird with a gentle care.

"That makes sense. And I suppose with the Clock and other events, people have reason to be a little more stressed than usual."

Alan seemed to enjoy the attention, nibbling gently at Ronnae's fingers with his beak.

"You do have people to talk to about them, though, don't you?"

"For the most part, yeah. It's sometimes a bit too much and I rather not burden others with them."

She smiled down at the bird, playing with a leaf of grass.

"Ah." He frowned slightly. "Well, if you'll forgive me for being too forward, you seem like the kind of person who would have friends willing to listen. I can't imagine they'd consider it a burden."

Alan chirped at her, then rolled over, hopping up onto her hand. For whatever reason, he'd taken a liking to Ronnae, treats or no.

Ronnae smiled at the bird, caressing it with one of her fingers before turning to look at Zouichi.

"I'm sure they'd say the same," she responded with a small smile. "Doesn't make me feel all the better... I've never been the type to throw my problems unto others."

Alan liked scratches! Scratches were good!

"...same here, actually. Do you think drawing would help?"

Ronnae smiled, "It might, everyone deals with it differently, some people write, some people draw, others listen to music and some fight. I personally enjoy drawing, it helps me a ton."

He nodded. "With all that practice, you must be a pretty good artist, right? What do you usually draw? Landscapes? Abstract art?"

"Landscapes, but mainly people, or scenes I see and remember later." a smile growing on her face.

"It's pretty rewarding to look back on things from the perspective you had that moment, since your memories are prone to change a little bit each time to try to remember something."

"Oh? So I guess it's a little like taking snapshots. And there are certainly a lot of potential subjects on board the ship. Do you have a photographic memory? Or just good observational skills?"

"A little bit of both I guess. I really enjoy it, and sometimes I feel like there's more life to a drawing, something about putting your all into it makes it feel alive."

"You think so?" He paused for a moment, thinking. "Maybe if you're a good artist. I don't think any of my drawings has ever felt particularly alive."

"I don't think there's really a bad artist. Everyone has their own unique style and they have their own unique way of manifesting their emotions in their art. I'm sure you do great."

Zouichi smiled. "Well, that's very kind of you to say. Maybe I'll try picking it up again sometime."

He stood, holding out a hand; as if on cue, Alan flew up to perch on Zouichi's proffered wrist. "Anyway, I should be getting back. But it was very nice speaking with you. I hope the memories in the sketchbook are as pleasant as you remember them to be."

"Thank you! It was really nice meeting you as well Zouichi." With that, the girl waves them goodbye with a warm smile.

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Reliving your past through innocent eyes. [Open]

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