trans_9 | You can look, but you can't touch I don't think I like you much

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You can look, but you can't touch I don't think I like you much

Freedom, what a silly word.

No matter how free she was nothing changed. The constant creeping paranoia, every shadow a potential threat, every blind corner could be hiding an assassin.

But she wouldn't hide. She wouldn't cower! She had been cleaned up, though her hair still hung about her shoulders in untamed tresses of inky black shine.

This ship had to be explored, she had to know as much about it as she could. Knowledge was power and at the moment she felt particularly weak.

After so much time of being locked away, barely moving, not training. Her body had lost it's edge. Her strength and power had waned and she knew it.

Even if she wasn't aware the voices would never let her forget.

And so barefoot and looking lost in more ways then one the pale young girl slipped through the ship quietly watching, learning.

In time her strength would return.

And then the screams of those that had defied her would fill this ship.

Freedom had done wonders for her mood.

((OOC: So since she's just wandering about wherever you'd like to meet her just mention it in your post and we'll roll from there. ^_^ ))

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"I will have to see about that as well then." Azula examined the calender and discovered not to her surprise that time was told differently on this ship from her world, as well as the passage of days.

"Gibberish." She muttered under her breath having meant to keep that inside, "I hardly know where to start." She didn't mean in the library but in general. After all as a princess her duties had been clear. Ambassador of the fire nation, symbol of hope and strength for the people.

Here she had all the time in the world and no guiding star.

Anwei seemed to detect the drift of the other's thoughts. "Start at the center. Start with yourself. What do you want to do, to learn, to teach? This ship can be a very dark place sometimes. People come here who have lost everything, and are told they have to fight in a war they know nothing of. You can help them win that war."

She gestured with her hands wide, as though encompassing the entire library, and the ship beyond. "Help them build weapons, or learn how to heal, or teach how to control fire - anything, you can be anything here. Anything you want, Azula." Anwei's eyes were a little too bright. She'd started over from scratch once, rebuilt herself - why not invite Azula to do the same?

Azula took in the words and narrowed her eyes as she focused on the concept.

Once she had, as a curiosity acted as a normal girl around fire nation teenagers who didn't know who she was. It had been an interesting experiment she didn't wish to repeat.

She wanted to go back to the only life she knew. A life of training and perfection. Of brilliance and respect.

She may have been a monster, but it was all she knew.

"I need to build my strength again. My abilities have dulled from my extended imprisonment." She was speaking softly unable to meet Anwei's eyes.

She shrugged, either not noticing or not caring about Azula's averted gaze. There was nothing to be embarrassed about, after all. "I was stranded for a year on Earth before I came here - many of my own skills needed to be worked on after I arrived. And keeping in top condition is very important to many people here. If you're looking for physical exercise, you should have no trouble finding partners at your own level, or higher if you want to extend yourself, or learn new combat skills."

A hesitant look came into her eyes. "I'm afraid I know nothing about training to control fire. And I am guessing that the people from your world might be - wary, about training with you?"

"No." Her answer was sharp and decisive, the only two people who were from her world that she could train with for fire bending were her brother and the Avatar.

"I won't allow it. Not from them. Think they can pity me, lord their strength over me after I came so close to destroying them all." She brought her eyes back up but was looking into empty space. "I killed him once you know, the Avatar. As dead as dead could be. But he came back. Don't ask me how..." She ran her fingers through her hair a second and third time looking on the verge of another break.

"Everything would have been so much easier if he had just stayed dead."

"I don't think the universe ever is easy," she replied, letting her weight roll back onto her heels a little. Just in case she needed to duck, and jump. "The universe always seems ready to present us with something new and difficult and tailored just for us."

Although the only resurrection she'd even seen had been a sad event, quickly ended. Not very relevant to the angry young man at the Council meeting.

"Things aren't easy here. It's a hard place to try and get your bearings." At least she had known computers and spaceships; Azula must have felt totally lost. "But you can, and grow strong, in mind and body and talent. Recover what you have lost, and then surpass yourself. And you'll have help, if you want, if you ask."

Help...the great manipulator Azula asking for help like a common peasant. Pathetic.

But if she could swallow her pride and tolerate these others, she could learn things she never would have learned at home. And she had no doubt that Zuko may have learned SOME new things...but not nearly enough.

"You're right." She forced herself to relax again slowly, muscle by muscle unwinding.

"I need help." In so many ways.

How long had this woman been here - two months? And already she had recovered enough strength to know she needed help. Oh, it would be wonderful if there was nothing wrong with her that decent nutrition and rest wouldn't cure.

"All right. Start at the center: start with you, Princess Azula. You have shelter, you have food and water, you have protection as best we can give it. And you want to build your strength back, and learn about our enemies. What else you you need? I can help you, or you can ask others if you want. The worst they can say is 'I don't know' or 'No'."

What did she need?

Her home.

Her title.

Her servants.

Her friends.

Her father...

As each of these things drifted through her mind she began to tense up again doing her best to keep control.

Plans swirled and formed and fell apart in her head faster and faster. Plots to seize power, schemes to murder and maim and crush people under her boot. She needed information, she needed time. She needed...

...to slow down. She felt lightheaded again. The voices were starting once more.

You need a doctor.

You need a padded cell!

You need to die.

you need love.

"I need...to focus..." She grunted visibly struggling once again, her eyes closed tight and her teeth clenched, "One thing, at a time." She let out her breath slowly and forced her muscles to unwind. "Nothing complicated, nothing..." She finally managed to open her eyes again once the moment had passed.

"Perhaps something to help me...relax. Clear my mind."

What had she done back home to clear her mind? Being pamepered was always nice. Having her hair brushed and her nails tended too. Soothing bathes...the topic of water still made her heart skip a beat.

She watched Azula tense and shiver, and felt the faintest gloss of sweat (almost undetectable in Stacy's muggy atmosphere) appear on her own forehead. It was entirely possible that the other would relieve her tension by getting violent, or worse retreating, dismissing the world as confusing and unknown, sinking back into herself. And she'd come so far already; she deserved a chance to rest now.

All right, relaxing. What was in the Media Library that might be relaxing? There was a planet she'd seen footage of...

She opened the door to one of the small viewing rooms, and it lit with a wall of fire. But not really fire; the inferno did not billow and roar and rise, instead it moved with glacial slowness, and its reds were streaked with purples and blues that no oxygen-based fire would show. And if you looked closer, you would see that the wall of fire had a top, faintly curved and fringed with atmosphere, and you would realize that you were looking at a planet. A planet that burned like fire, clouds like liquid light. In the dark swirls between the clouds you could glimpse tiny crosshatching of light, clearly artificial, and blinking gems seemed to dance among the glowing clouds, playing in them.

Music played as the planet appeared, a muffled brass thunder, horns that were played with red-hot plasma instead of breath, and a long slow humming that seemed ready to form into words at any moment – but not quite.

"You can sit in here and rest, and watch."

Her eyes reflected the screen like glass as she watched and felt her mind begin to drift and focus.

Fire, even in it's passive state was powerful and dangerous. Wild and free it could burn forever if it had enough to feed off of it.

Lo and Lee, her handlers, had told her even a small infant the glowing flickering warmth of candles and flame had soothed her cries. Where her brother Zuko had cried so much she was a quiet child.

Or so they had said.

And here she felt as though she was making a breakthrough. If she studied fire once again, reminded herself of everything it meant to her and how it stood for her family and nation...perhaps she could become great once again all the sooner.

"Thank you." A rare than you from the selfish girl as she watched, focused.

She could almost hear the other's muscles unwinding as the alien cloudscape floated across the screen, churning and warping. She opened her mouth, ready to expound on the chemical properties of the clouds and the bioluminesccent organisms in them and the native life and...

She shut her mouth. Azula looked rapt, and almost happy. No reason to spoil it.

"You're welcome. Would you like to be alone and think?"

Azula pursed her lips as she thought about it.

"Stay please...just for a moment." She wouldn't say it out loud but she was still sure that Mai would appear the moment she was left alone.

This one was ultimately harmless for now. She could trust her to keep watch.

"My pleasure. Good to get the weight off my feet." She sat on the Stacy-fleshed couch in the viewing room, sinking back into its warm puffy surface and relaxing.

"I never visited this planet," she said idly, the light fromt eh screen slithering over her face. She'd been planning to go there on vacation, someday. After she retired, but before she translated herself over the divide into pure AI. All those plans she'd made and polished and perfected, and then put aside - how was she to know that the universe would go away while she wasn't looking? That the pleasures she'd postponed would run out through her fingers like sand?

Anwei was not nearly as harmless as she looked, but with Stacy throughtfully hiding away the records of her misdeeds and crimes and atrocities, it was understandable that others might think so.

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You can look, but you can't touch I don't think I like you much

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