trans_9 | You can look, but you can't touch I don't think I like you much

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You can look, but you can't touch I don't think I like you much

Freedom, what a silly word.

No matter how free she was nothing changed. The constant creeping paranoia, every shadow a potential threat, every blind corner could be hiding an assassin.

But she wouldn't hide. She wouldn't cower! She had been cleaned up, though her hair still hung about her shoulders in untamed tresses of inky black shine.

This ship had to be explored, she had to know as much about it as she could. Knowledge was power and at the moment she felt particularly weak.

After so much time of being locked away, barely moving, not training. Her body had lost it's edge. Her strength and power had waned and she knew it.

Even if she wasn't aware the voices would never let her forget.

And so barefoot and looking lost in more ways then one the pale young girl slipped through the ship quietly watching, learning.

In time her strength would return.

And then the screams of those that had defied her would fill this ship.

Freedom had done wonders for her mood.

((OOC: So since she's just wandering about wherever you'd like to meet her just mention it in your post and we'll roll from there. ^_^ ))

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"And you explain things in a pretty cold way," Kaya shot back, but this was exactly the kind of argument she would likely have with herself, when she thought about it. "She was only forgotten temporarily because of GLADOS, although it did used to be if one was podded, you forgot about them. It's not that way anymore."

She sighed. "But in this case, I wasn't thinking about the person in podsleep. I was thinking more of the person she left behind."

"It's simply how it appears to me." Azula dismissed in a dry way as if she was discussing something dull like the weather.

"In any event, how fortunate for you that she was removed from the situation. I can tell you like him alot."

"It was different, trust me," Kaya said, although that didn't stop her from feeling just a little bit guilty. What would Will say, if she saw them now?

"I do care a lot about him," Kaya said. "You might say it was weakness, but Matt is the sort of person to give you the short off his back."

"And I imagine you wouldn't complain about being able to see him without a shirt." a hint of coy smugness in that last line before she continued on.

"Love is a powerful weapon, but like every weapon if you depend on it too much it becomes a crutch." Actually she had plenty more to say on the subject of love, none of it good but she bit her lip again to stop herself from going on.

Kaya flushed a little, then coughed. "I've never seen anything like that. Things are a big different from our nation, after all."

Not that she would object, and strangely enough, that gave her an idea of inviting him to the hot springs. She would never let Azula know that, of course.

"I don't know what you mean by 'depend on it too much,'" Kaya said. "Unless you're talking about an obsession: that can pretty much apply to anything you like too much."

"Obsession, like anything can be a powerful tool. I was simply referring to how those who grow too comfortable with support from others can find themselves...lost when all that support suddenly vanishes." She finally turned away from the bus having learned all she cared to about it for now.

"But I'm sure you don't need to worry about that. You're not a murderer after all so those who came from our world must always be happy to support you and spend time with you."

Kaya shook her head. "I've lost friends here countless times, and there was a time where all of the people I held dear were taken from me. I've learned to care much for the people on the ship, but if I have to fight on my own, I would."

Not that a situation like that had happened yet.

But at the mention of that, Kaya was quiet. "They have their own issues to think about. You haven't exactly put them at ease, you know."

That made Azula raise an eyebrow, "Oh? So I was mistaken? I would have assumed that there was comfort to be found from people that knew the same world we lived in. But perhaps that's not the case for you?"

Kaya shook her head. "They're busy. To be honest, they're still getting over the fact that I'm not...someone they thought I was. The ship is apparently able to pull people at different times here. It's a complicated matter."

"I'm a complicated person." Azula countered and gave a pleasant look, "Do explain. The more I learn about my surroundings the better. At least that's what the Doctor says."

That was a slight lie but never the less it was true.

Kaya wasn't quite sure if Azula had a "pleasant look," but there was no point in not telling her at any rate.

"When I first arrived here it was two years ago. I'm not sure why or how it happened, but Stacy gave me the memories of my trainer and mentor, Katara, of the Southern Water Tribe. I'm told we even look a little alike. Anyway, the point is, I have been here awhile, Sokka, Mai and Zuko too, and Aang had been here the longest, but his story is one you'll have to drag out of him, as it involves how he got older and his actual interaction with people on the ship. Anyway, they started to notice I was exhibiting behavior that seemed contrast to Katara's: learning new fighting styles, making potentially dangerous decisions, finding someone that loved me instead of waiting for the ship to pod pop Aang, which it had already done two previous times. In the end, the ship realized its mistake and podded me a few weeks so I could get my memories back. I'm a Northern Water Tribe girl, and as it turned out, I helped out the crew later on, after the war ended. But right now, they have no idea who I am, just as when I still thought I was Katara, Zuko had been brought here prior to joining the Avatar."

"I see..." Azula nodded and listened as if everything made perfect sense to her. It didn't be thinking abstractly was becoming easier.

"It sounds to me that they feel betrayed. They probably wish you were her." There was no hiding the hint of poison in her voice when she said "her". it was understandable considering that Katara was the one who froze her.

"I know they wish I was her," Kaya said. "That way Sokka could just have his sister, Aang could have the person he loved most, and Zuko and Mai could at least be calmed by a familiar face. But that's not the case. They have me, and they don't really know what to think about that. They need time."

She looked at the firebender. "Just like if you expect to get anywhere here, you better stop that sadistic way you can sometimes think."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Azula responded calm and dismissive, "I'm simply fascinated by your story. I can hardly imagine what it must be like to so desperately wish you were someone else. It sounds dreadful."

Yes even when she was losing, Azula never wanted to trade places with anyone.

Kaya just stared at the girl a moment. "Sometimes you forge bonds with people, and you find that it makes things more bearable. I'm hoping you find it too. Part of me hurts, knowing I don't have the people of my world around, to talk and laugh with. But I'm not alone, not after two years. If I were, I might go a little crazy."

Yup. She was definitely not that.

Azula chuckled...god it felt good to chuckle! She hadn't done that honestly in so long.

"You're saying that because of the friends you've made on this ship you don't regret being the only person from our world who wants you here? How charming."

"Look," Kaya said, "You can stop that already. I'm not one of your poor tormented victims. If the Avatar crew needs to deal with not having Katara around, they should. It's still a hard thing for them all. But in the meantime, while they deal, I have people that will still care about me no matter what. That was what two years on the ship made for me. I'm not going to cry about it."

Charming. That almost sounded like an insult.

Azula withdrew sharply and looked wounded, "I was simply attempting conversation." Her eyes narrowed, "But I suppose I can't blame you for assuming I meant otherwise. After all my nation did almost wipe yours out."

She turned away shoulders slack looking bitter and dejected. "I should have expected no less...but I foolishly hoped..." She let the word hang not finishing what she had hoped.

Kaya blushed. Well this was just annoying how on earth was she supposed to know when Azula was just mean or when she was just making conversation? Everything about her seemed to scream out I want to make sure you feel horrible even when she did not intend it to be that way.

"Look," Kaya said, "if you only meant to make conversation, I'm sorry. I'm still expecting you to find a way to make me feel horrible. I'm only going by Katara's memories, after all. But if you really want to know anything, even about me, I can tell you. Its not like I'm out to kill you."

Well, she wasn't anyway.

Azula stopped but didn't turn around not yet, after all she had been hurt enough already, she wouldn't dare open herself up to someone again after a failed attempt at socializing.

But she allowed Kaya at least one chance, "Do you feel any guilt for what you did to them? Even without meaning to?"

Kaya thought a moment. "No," she said. "Because while they got to be podded and repodded and got to tell me how different I was, I was out there helping others, getting hurt and being affected by things I barely understood. If I were to make myself feel guilty about being me, I would never get out of bed. They might miss Katara, but if they don't bother to get to even know me, its their loss."

And she turned to the girl. "And you shouldn't stop trying to reach out either. Once people realize you aren't out to get them, they'll be more liable to trust you."

"Interesting."

And she began to leave without another word, nor even a parting glance at Kaya. Quietly she was proud of herself for having made Kaya think twice about her cruel words. The watertribe girl was more selfish then she would admit. But she was no threat. In time not even being in the middle of an ocean would save her.

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You can look, but you can't touch I don't think I like you much

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