trans_9 | Finally some roomie tim-whoops.

Entry tags:

Finally some roomie tim-whoops.

It had been an arduous few days. Between the situation with people losing memories and then the people coming back from the Ohm attack, Kaya had been pretty busy. She hadn't even left the med bay, preferring to sleep here instead of back at the Outsider's hotel. She knew she had already missed quite a bit due to this: sessions with Chase, the upkeep of the hotel, and general having fun time, but priorities were priorities. Now that she had some time to herself though, she was hoping to spent some time helping her roommate decorate and at least have some general fun: Alex, after all, had brought all of those interesting black light things, why not put them to good use?

She walked up the stairs of the hotel, making a beeline straight for the hotel suite. It was one of the good things about not having to be alone: it didn't matter that Alex was a boy, at least he was SOMEONE she could talk to on a daily basis. Besides, she had those sliding doors now, so they could respect each others privacy.

But then she reached the room and opened the door, and saw all of his things were gone, specifically the laptop he prized so much, and she knew he had been podded. She closed her eyes a moment, slowly counting to ten, tears springing to her eyes.
Of course.
She took a breath, then wiped her eyes and closed the door, going back down the steps, and quietly closing the door behind her. She wanted to scream, or cry, or throw a fit at least, but none of these things would bring Alex back. So she just wandered the city park for the moment, looking tired.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"I did bring back plenty of wood to craft with and metal for traps, a new harp and lots and lots of of herbs and other alchemy supplies to experiment with. So in the least it keeps me busy. Mostly." He simply shrugged.

"In any case, what I meant is that you are straight-forward, upbeat, practical and driven. It is not often that I observe people with those combination of traits embarrassed about...anything."

"I'm glad to hear that. I tried to bring back some items from the planet too, most of it food. I got some stuff for redecorating too, but that'll feel strange to do now, without Alex."

She laughed. "Yes, I guess I am some of those things, but even I still have things I get embarassed about. I can say that's not an easy thing to maintain on this ship. Everyone here is so different, and we've all changed a little over time."

"Change? How have you changed since you arrived?" He looked thoughtful for a short moment then his silvered eyes locked back on her face.

"How much does one change without those things that they held dear, before? There are plenty of things for me to learn and emotions I have yet to experience and I wonder if I will experience those things here? Or perhaps I will be unchanged. Though maybe I will become content with this place like some of the others seem. So many unknowns! The prospect is both exciting and troublesome."

"The way I look at things have been influenced a bit," Kaya confessed. "Things like life and death have started to become matters that are a lot harder to deal with. as well, the concept of good guys and bad guys, they can blur in the passing of time. One can be the other simply by the belief of one simple thing. I know now that those terms can be interchangeable depending on who you speak to."

She thought a moment. "Honestly, I don't think I could accurately tell you how this place will treat you. I know well enough that it has its good moments, and then the times where I'm quite frustrated. But whatever happens, I hope you find the experiences pleasing to you and Fontaine."

"This is true; everyone has their definition of what is 'good' and 'evil' and they stick to it very strongly. I am far more neutral on the subject, though I do find it interesting how quickly one's view of 'evil' can be skewed by a few acts and how 'good' can be tainted by extreme dedication to a cause."

With a shrug and a grin, the elf's head lolled to the side. "I think I might find it as pleasing as one could, being on a ship with strangers to fight an inter-demin...dom...dimen...hrm" He paused and looked at Kaya, a lengthy brow furrowed.

"I guess I don't know that word. Ronnae explained it to me once, though."

"Neutral." Kaya had heard that phrase before, and really. When it came down to it, that was the perfect way to describe Nokosi. He was, if anyone had any concept of neutral, the epitome of it.

"What has made you come to think so?" Kaya asked. "I mean, personally, I think you are one of the most neutral people I've ever met, but how have you come to think of yourself that way?"

She giggled. "Inter dimensional. I've heard that word a lot of the time, actually."

"I would say that I probably became aware of it when I began spending much time in the cities. Everyone either spoke about good and righteousness or darkness and depravity. There are some in-between and there were many people who asked things of others, based on those ideas. I realized I was not swayed either way. I just did not and do not care about the struggle between good and evil."

Nokosi suddenly crouched down and draped his arms over his thighs. It seemed he was finally tired of walking. Turning his head up to look at her, he squinted against the artificial sunlight.

"You are just as likely to get me to jump into a fight to save people who are getting attacked by convincing me it is the good thing to do as you are get me to attack said person by convincing me that being ruthless has benefits. Which is to say, little to none."

"I see," Kaya said. "I used to think that good and bad weren't as easily crossed too, but then I traveled the world on my planet, and then I came on the ship. We've had several situations where I had to go and make a choice to be the on the side of good, even if it meant that I had to do something I didn't agree with. A few times, I made a choice people would not have expected."

She nodded. "I suppose it really comes down to a person's personal decisions, and what they believe is the best way when it comes to the situation. I'll try to make the best decision that fits who I am."

"Sometimes things are like that. Shades of grey. Making a choice is far harder when you have some kind of rule or law that you live by. The strength of one's morals, I'd say. Though even that, I don't think, is universal."

He smiled widely and ran a thumb over the string of piercings on his ear. "But you are right. The decision that fits with who you are is the best. It may sometimes lead to bad choices, but that is the cost of truly being ones' self, I suppose."

"No, definitely not," agreed Kaya. "Everyone on this ship have their own view of what good and bad constitute, and each situation dictates a different point of view depending what happens. This is why I have to amend what I know sometimes, because everything and everyone changes a bit."

She nodded. "I've take some flack for some of the decisions I made earlier when I was on the ship, but I don't regret it now. Whatever mistakes I made, I'll be a better person for it later."

"Oh, I guess you could say it like that. It is not necessary for one to bend their own thoughts and ideals to accompany those of others but I suppose it makes the whole 'social' part of dealing with other people more enjoyable or less complicated."

He knew that well enough but he also was aware that he was quite a stubborn person when it came down to it. If he didn't want to do something he simply wouldn't. It was less-so when it came to the views and opinions of others; he was always quite open when listening, if for knowledge's sake.

"It would take quite a bit of good reasoning to make me change myself for another's sake and even then, it would depend. Ronnae knows this well," he said, a grin stretching over his pallid face.

"Well, I'll only amend so much," Kaya added hastily. "I never said I would always follow anything anyone says. In fact, most of the people who know me know I can be just as stubborn about things I believe in. I only amend my opinion when its a situation I realize I don't know as much about."

Like the Yeerk.

"I'm sure she does," Kaya said. "You seem like the type that does what he likes, and will not sacrifice that easily. It's something I've could see pretty quickly about you, actually."

"Oh yes," he started, face lit up in interest. "I am told it's called 'being selfish' but I wouldn't say that exactly. I care greatly for my friends and fam-" he paused, his eyes shifting to the side in thought. Family? He didn't even really know them more than they decided to shun him a second time. "I care greatly for my friends and would do anything for those ends. My life is their's," he explained.

"But I have also come to realize that there seems to be a general societal dislike for 'looking out for one's own best interest."

Kaya nodded. "I noticed that you were a little hesitant to include your family. But I can tell you: even with my own gone, there are still the people here, people like Billy and Ronnae and even Negi and Eva, that I also consider family. I know if I were ever in trouble, they would be concerned, might even try to help me if they could."

She shrugged. "It really depends on the situation. If you were to, say, leave someone to die, I would think that would be more selfish than, say, doing what you want even if it might conflict with someone else's wants."

"Yes, because I do not have 'family' in the traditional sense of the word. They do not want me. The closest thing I do have are my animal companions but that is enough, I think."

He thought about her words for a long moment, weighing both the situations she brought up. "I am not sure I agree with that either. If there is nothing to lose by saving someone, say, they are drowning and you know how to swim. That's fine enough. But if they are trapped in a building that is broken and burning down around them or pulled into the ocean by a Kraken or perhaps they were separated and surrounded by a group of necromancers and other scourge...calling them selfish for not sacrificing their lives for someone they don't know or have no ties to is giving yourself far too much credit."

"I don't understand a family not wanting their child, to be honest," Kaya confessed. "I get the bond between animals, having Zhin and she having me, but where I'm from, family means a lot."

Kaya was quiet for a moment, taking that in, but she knew that would simply be something she and he would not disagree on. Perhaps it was because Nokosi had never been taught to have concern for everyone, and in that way, it made perfect sense for him not to bother risking his life. In all actuality, she wished Sheeana was around, just so she could ask what she would have thought abut Nokosi.

"I can try to understand, but I also know you and I think differently there. I know there's a possibility I could die needlessly, and I know that's a risk. Still, if there's a way I can help someone, can make a difference so I don't reflect the nature of some people on the ship to distrust each other, I would do it. We all have lost our worlds somehow: I'd like to give someone a chance to have some kind of life here."

"No? Even though I would like to hate them for it and I am told I should, I cannot bring myself to. Animals routinely abandon or eat their young if they are injured or deformed. It is their way of life. I was too naive to know that I was abandoned until a few short years ago so they still do mean a lot, regardless. I genuinely thought I was doing right by my people, my parents, as they had originally asked of me." He paused, his voice softer and a noticeable frown curving onto his lips. "I spent a lifetime believing that."

Nokosi's eyebrows furrowed as he thought about it. The subject often either brought a sense of impassiveness to him or stirred up a few different emotions that he was never shy about showing. He didn't feel upset enough to cry over it, so he simply shrugged his shoulders and rose his mercury gaze to hers.

"Perhaps. It is not simply a difference of 'the way we grew up', though, and has nothing to do with my free nature. From what I observed those with some power, stronger than the average person anyways, have a view in where they either must use their strength responsibly to better the lives of others or they must use their strength for sinister ends to oppress others, for their own ends, of course. Some do not bother either way, though that's rare since most seem to think they must do something with the power they have."

He rubbed a hand against his stubbled face, eyes closing in thought. "The phrase I think the Humans use is 'truth be told'. 'Truth be told' the common, everyday man with little in the way of power and overwhelming concern for the safety of them and their family have little concern with the lives of others when them or their family's is on the line or at risk. I would not think less of them for it."

He was more than sure that if Ronnae or Nehaalista were here, they would be staring between them both, mouth agape. A philosophical discussion wasn't something he indulged in often, despite the like for such things. Probably because of his odd like of hearing and seeing how people think and live their lives. Very few tended to give him any credit past acting like a strange, inquisitive, little animal, which he couldn't blame them for. Illiterate didn't mean 'simple-minded', however.

Kaya, on the other hand, respected Nokosi's opinion very much, and sat, listening closely to what he said. It did not escape her notice that he had been through much, that he was a person who had seen the best and worse in many situations, and for that reason he was able to give the best opinion he could.

"I understand that. I, though, originally learned my craft with the intention of helping others. I will always be that way too: when people are hurt, I will do everything in my power to offer what I can. I would never blame the man who could not do more than what they were able, but if there is something more that can be managed, why not do what is possible?"

And she looked down a moment. "And I had a good family too, that taught me these things. I'm sorry if it was not necessarily so for you?"

"Yes and no," he replied, curling his fingers in the grass he crouched over. "Up until eight they were the type of parents I assume everyone wanted or had. Stern but understanding mother, doting and kind father. It was not until after that that I was left to my own devices with a goal that I did not possibly think I could accomplish at that age.

From there on out it was simply the forest and I, though I did have Janni and Nightsong from time to time. She was not much like a mother to me, though. A mentor, through and through."

"But that's what I'm still trying to understand," Kaya said. "Why leave you alone at all? I mean, not that I think you didn't still turn out pretty amazing anyway and I wouldn't have you any other way. I just wish I understood that."

Her ears perked up. "Janni? Nightsong?"

A violet eyebrow furrowed at her question. "So that the creatures of the forest would consume me, of course. It would remove their problem and me having to live a very stunted lifetime. I wasn't aware of it until much later but that is the case."

The corners of his lips turned up in a smile when she repeated his words. "Janni was my mentor. I always thought she was some spirit of the forest or some such but it is more likely that she was simply a feral Night Elf. Nightsong was her animal companion. She was a spirit creature, like Fontaine. She is actually his mother."

Kay shook her head, looking troubled by this. "But why? I mean look at you: you're one of the most amazing people on the ship, and I'm not saying that to blindly compliment you. How could anyone thing that would be a good idea to do that to their child?"

Kaya never tried contemplating killing someone, but if they tried to kill a child on the basis that it would make their life easier...

But she at least relaxed here, glad to know that there were people looking out for her friend that lent a hand in making him the way he was. "Feral? How do you mean?"

He laughed at her words and smiled. "I thank you for your compliment but maybe an explanation would better help you understand. I was sickly, weak, spent most of my time in a bed. They did try various methods to cure what ailed me; none of it worked very well. At that time seeing my parents upset about such a thing saddened me. I did not get this way on willpower alone, though. It took much training, learning and a hundred, plus years to get where I am now. We are a long-lived people. If the sickness didn't consume me, I only can assume they thought that it would be better than two-thousand years of never actually living."

Nokosi was quiet, in thought for a moment and then looked back up. "At least what my father may have thought. My mother...well she was very angry when I returned. She would not have anything to do with me."

To her last question he stuck a finger underneath his lip and pulled it up to show off his very long and very sharp fangs, much like a wild cat or dog. "Most Night Elf males have them; we are a feral people by nature, given our affinity to nature. Some, usually druids, go far beyond, taking on animal-like features and generally distancing themselves from society. They live in the wild, for the wild, just like any other animal might. Much like I did though I did not change to such an extent as most do. I still have plenty of feral tendencies, though."

"I think I understand a little better now," Kaya said, although it still made her mind reel a little bit. "In other words, they thought it would be a kinder thing to let you go on your own rather than have you suffer for a very, very long time. Two thousand years of pain and strife is no way of living."

What a painful decision to have to make, though. Even she couldn't imagine doing it. She didn't have children of her won of course, but she could imagine how bad it would be, to have to leave them on their own. "Why was your mother so upset that you came back?"

There was still a lot she wanted to know about Nokosi, and when it came to his way of life and what happened to him, she thought that she should know all the variables involved before she said anything.

"I see what you mean, mostly. As far as going feral, what tendencies do YOU take?"

"I do not think I will live that long anyways," he remarked. "But no, I do not know. She did not want me to even see the siblings I apparently now have. She only responded that I was supposed to have died that day and she would continue acting as if that was so."

He stood up slowly and took two long strides before he was next to her. "I often use my nose to track the scents of other people and so I tend to sniff them. That translates into me having no care for the idea of 'personal space' as being physically close to another is how one would 'get to know' them.

I tend to skulk around and watch people, sometimes for extended periods of time without their knowledge. For a multitude of reasons, the least being observing their weaknesses," he added. "Tracking and hunting animals for food, generally with Fontaine or Giles. I can eat them raw if the situation requires and I sometimes prefer it that way. Territorial for the most part. I understood the Orcs and the Warsong clan's need for lumber and I was fairly passive about it until they begin wanton destruction of Ashenvale, without check. Then I attacked to kill both peon and adventurer with little discerning between the two. If they were there to protect or aid the Warsong Clan destroy my home, then they were there to die as well."

He circled her once, head tilted to the side. "I am predatory in nature. If there is something I want, there is little to stop me from seeking it out until I obtain such things. This goes for both people and objects," he said with a small, if odd, little smile. "It sometimes unnerves people, especially with my persistence to attain what it is I seek. If I perceive such things as being 'taken' from me by a challenger or otherwise, I am inclined to fight tooth and nail to protect such a thing. Like Athena. Or Ronnae," he mentioned.

"I cannot recall ever feeling the pettiness of what one would label as 'jealous' due to those actions but I do remember that I was annoyed, angry. Even if she were not rightfully 'mine' in that sense and we were only friends, I still followed the animalistic line of thought that I was being challenged and without any consent on my part that I would allow Billy to touch her at all. In such a situation one fights to prove superiority, worthiness, most times to the death."

Nokosi brushed his fingers idly over the vine that was wrapped around his wrist which became a bow when necessary. "Of course with my skill set I would not need to fight head on and I had already followed him enough to know his schedule. He probably would not have even known what or who hit him."

He paused for a moment and turned his gaze to her, oblivious to the level of awkwardness or horror that was probably occurring for one so casually mentioning that they once had in mind to injure or kill someone's closest companion. It was horribly truthful, though.

"But my time watching others and in cities has made me just a bit more aware of other's emotions so I was able to correctly read hers and respond in kind. It made that instinct easier to suppress at that time. Other than that I would say I often growl like an animal when I am upset and never hesitate to lash out if I feel threatened in any manner."

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

I somehow lost this tag. Sorry!

Totally fine! I was bogged down anyhow!

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject