When in rome [Semi-open]

[zouichi.livejournal.com]

The mission briefing was short and sweet. Planet Epicurea, breathable air, drinkable water, food that wouldn't melt your stomach, matriarchical society unusually fond of procedure and posturing. The plan was to find an object of interest (description helpfully provided by the ship), negotiate for it, then return to the rendezvous coordinates before Stacy decided to leave without them. So simple, only three crew members would be assigned to carry out the mission.

Anwei Ayles, whose negotiation skills and extensive experience dealing with alien races (especially slightly snooty ones) would no doubt prove eminently useful for the delicate nature of the bargaining that would take place,

Howard Bassem, whose intrinsic understanding of diplomacy and unorthodox means of obtaining information would smooth over any rough edges (and maybe help grease the wheels a little behind the scenes), and last of all --

[ooc -- Anyone's free to barge in during the first subthread ("Mission Briefing") if they like, the rest of the post is only Anwei, Howard, and Zouichi :) ]

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MISSION BRIEFING

[zouichi.livejournal.com]

Zouichi scowled at the dossier on the ship's screen, which was currently displaying a rotating scale model of the planet. "No weapons? What are we supposed to use, harsh language?"

Re: MISSION BRIEFING

[8wings.livejournal.com]

"Polite language," Anwei said dryly. "And plenty of it. It's not going to be as easy as it sounds, I suspect. We're at a time disadvantage, and they aren't."

And she would much rather go on this negotiation with more backup. Not that she doubted Zouichi's skills, but a full armored squad would make her feel considerably safer.

Re: MISSION BRIEFING

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Well, nothing quite puts Howard in a delightful mood like getting sent to a planet to run errands for Stacy. Especially when he doesn't see this going well at all. Such is the life of a pessimist.

"Seriously? Zou, you're on this mission too. Obviously we're not just going to talk them to death because if we were, she'd have sent a third diplomat. So Spacey Stacy up here is fully expecting something to go wrong."

He glares at the ship screen and makes an 'I'm watching you' gesture. "Don't think I don't know you."

He glances at Anwei. "We could just steal it," he says simply. "I mean, we kind of have bigger fish to fry than the Epicureans."

Re: MISSION BRIEFING

[zouichi.livejournal.com]

That hurts, Anwei. Zouichi could easily take out a full armored squad. Also, that was a reference to an old movie about chestbursting aliens.

"I was on the mission to Gondeptil, too -- no fighting involved," Zouichi pointed out.

"And if we were meant to steal it, the ship would have sent crew members more suited to subterfuge." He fully expected this one was going to be talking. Endless, droning talking.

Re: MISSION BRIEFING

[8wings.livejournal.com]

Anwei shrugged. "It's possible that if we steal it, at some point we'll need help from the Epicureans and they won't be willing to do so. Stacy has apparently given us an entire load of food-paste to be traded for this - thing." She grinned lopsidedly. "And every gram we trade away we won't have to eat."

Re: MISSION BRIEFING

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"Oh, so you're overdue for one catastrophe." Howard shakes his head and rolls his eyes at Zouichi, not at all comforted. He doesn't want to be here, or to help Stacy, and he's not even sure if he wants to defeat the Ohm because that might mean a one-way ticket back to the FAYZ - but he's heard rumors about what happened to the last crew that failed Stacy's objectives, and fear is an excellent motivator. Just not a pleasant one.

"Hey, food's valuable. I don't care if it tastes like the underside of a car, it's still food," he points out. "You're going to regret wishing that if Stacy ever stops feeding us."

He looks back to the dossier, trying to memorize all the facts, both important-looking and not.

Re: MISSION BRIEFING

[8wings.livejournal.com]

"Would you prefer if for this mission we all had to marry each other? You would make charming co-husbands," she said with a sideways glance. Then she frowned at the dossier. "I'm hoping that the size of the team reflects the possible threat level. We get the Orb, we give them the food, we leave before any catastrophe can catch up to us."

Anwei actually agreed with Howard, but the old aristocratic bones of her personality persisted in poking through the skin of her civility. She had been raised to think that meat should be every meal, and that meat should be talking-meat.

"Stacy's systems can't be too tightly balanced, or she wouldn't allow us to go on shore leave and excrete solids and liquids that can't be reclaimed. Although come to think of it, that would make shore leave more fast-paced, wouldn't it? 'Do whatever you like but hold it until you get back to the ship'!"

SHUTTLE RIDE

[zouichi.livejournal.com]

"This thing steers like a brick," Anwei muttered, her fingers flickering over the liquid-light display as she dropped the shuttle from orbit and headed for the Epicurea spaceport zone. "A pregnant brick."

This was true; the entire rear section of the shuttle was filled with vast transparent sacks of Stacy-slop, which shifted and slithered ominously as the shuttle moved. It was rather like being inside Stacy, for that matter. The sensation of imminent suffocation was the same.

"No remote broadcast systems that I can detect, so hopefully no one here can lock us out of the system - right!" She set the engines into cool-down (as opposed to shutdown) and tapped her finger on the time display. "We have this many hours to get the trade made before Stacy leaves."

Re: SHUTTLE RIDE

[zouichi.livejournal.com]

"When we return sans nutrient place, perhaps they'll be a little more responsive." And maybe the shuttle would be a little less claustrophobic. He wasn't particularly worried about the timeline cutoff -- how difficult could it be to trade off some food?

Zouichi took off his comm ring, placing it in one of the smaller shuttle compartments. No high technology allowed, though that bothered him considerably less than the unusually light feeling at his side. He glanced over to his side, hoping Howard didn't have a finicky gag reflex.

Re: SHUTTLE RIDE

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Even if he were susceptible to motion sickness, Howard's gag reflex has mostly been dampened by his time in the FAYZ spent eating all sorts of unappetizing things. He gazes out the window, taking note of the layout of the city and as they get closer to the Earth, the people. They can't all possibly be that tall and skinny, can they? It must be an optical illusion.

He sets the timer on the watch he'd kiped from The City and taps at the console, bringing up a basic description of Epicurea's inhabitants and dress style. Very Important Persons tend to wear ridiculously flouncy outfits, it seems. "We need to blend, probably. Stacy gave us some credits. Anwei, you should probably hang back while I do that, since I'm betting dignitaries don't usually buy their own fancy dresses. Whip up some measurements and I can tailor it if it's a bit off, but it looks like no one will be able to notice under all those ruffles."

He starts snickering as he pulls up the 'bodyguard' profile. "Hey, Zou. You're gonna be pretty."

Re: SHUTTLE RIDE

[8wings.livejournal.com]

Anwei felt the muscles in the back of her neck go a little tight at the sight of the passerby. It was - unsettlingly like Fle, her homeworld. Although at least on her world, everything in sight would not have been encrusted with gems, mirrors, and glitter.

The spires of the city glittered; glitter shone on the faces of the people walking behind the spaceport's windows (women always leading, heads high; men walking behind them with eyes lowered), and glitter was painted in patterns on the wings of the large reptiles sitting on top of the spaceport building. Scavengers? Local color? No; one of them took off and she could see the jeweled bridle around its bill, and the tiny figures on its back. Draft animals.

Anwei slipped off her jacket and ran her hands through her pockets, pulling out a steel haircomb, a sewing kit, and a box of hard candy. She quickly used a length of thread to measure herself, marking with knots in the thread. Zouichi got a piece of thread to do the same.

She looked at the passerby, long and lean, and sighed. "Howard, we're going to need a silver platter and some fancy cups, for slop samples. Spoons too. And get me," she winced, "the tallest hat you can find."

Re: SHUTTLE RIDE

[zouichi.livejournal.com]

Zouichi sighed as he knotted off his measurements, following Anwei's lead. He could only imagine what kind of clothes would be required for this particular mission. Ruffly naval outfits? Loincloths? Ridiculous robes?

"What do you mean 'pretty'?" he asked, regarding Howard with more than a little suspicion. Howard plus sudden enthusiasm probably equaled trouble.

Re: SHUTTLE RIDE

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Howard nods quickly, remembering everything Anwei lists. "Tupperware, too. And don't complain about the hats - me, I'm looking for a hoverpad so I can still be part of the action."

Not really. If staying low keeps him on the sidelines and out of trouble, he'll fully abuse that advantage.

"I mean you're going to be dressed up like a French fetish-gear costume - holy crap, are those dinosaurs?" Howard moves from pointing at the outfit on the screen to suddenly being pressed up against the window, incredulous. "No one told me we were going to Jurassic Park!"

THE MARKETPLACE

[zouichi.livejournal.com]

Everyone here is at least two feet taller than him, and some of them are wearing stilts. Howard's used to his size leaving him having to strain to be part of the conversation. He's not used to having most of the conversation go on so far above his head that he doesn't even realize people are talking until they're halfway through a sentence. Stacy seriously didn't have any shady characters who were a few inches taller to send on this wild goose chase?

Still, despite all of his many grievances with this whole thing, it'll be best to get the job done well and fast. He's been keeping an eye on the clothing, and at this point thinks he has a good idea of what to pick up. For blending in, Stacy didn't provide them much in the way of an allowance, so Howard nearly breaks the piggybank on Anwei's regal dignitary outfit. By the time he's gotten outfits for Zouichi and himself, he only has a handful of credits left. Not enough to buy stilts. Certainly not enough to bribe information out of the right people.

But, Howard realizes, being small has its advantages when you want to do things without being seen.

For a planet with so much glitter, there's surprisingly little color in the Epicurean marketplace. Mostly it's shades of grey and occasional sparkling white and midnight black for the bodyguards of important people. Said important people tend to be in pastels, the lone spots of color in the monochromatic mass. Howard figures important people don't tend to do their own dirty work, so he waits until he sees some bodyguards in maid-like uniforms breaking away from their Very Important Person and slip into an alley away from the crowds.

He has trouble keeping up with their strides, but on the plus side, he doesn't even have to bother ducking behind things and staying out of sight. Not that that would be easy, as very few stands are in the marketplace. Mostly it seems to be clubs and restaurants, sprawled out geometrically. Even the vendors are more like shops, with no wares in the streets. He's breathing hard by the time he turns a corner and finds them meeting some other Epicureans halfway down a staircase into the ground.

Turns out his suspicion was correct. He's hit the shadier part of town. After listening in a bit and finding the people talking about just what he needs, he slinks up next to someone who looks like they know what they're talking about, acting as if he's totally supposed to be there. "You sure that's the price? Last I heard it got knocked down a tenner - how much are you guys actually locked in for?"

Re: THE MARKETPLACE

[cityship]

The man turned and glared down at him, eyes widening; the edge of his outstanding skirt was about at the level of Howard's chest. He looked totally baffled by this apparition appearing below his elbow.

"Knocked down? Impossible," he snorted. "Where'd you hear that?"

Re: THE MARKETPLACE

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"From Countess Hilvetca's chamberman," he says, piecing together a story as quickly as he can from the information and names he just gathered eavesdropping, keeping fear under a cocky, know-it-all exterior. "What, you think that we showed up on the world without sources?"

He takes a deep breath. "If you ask me, that just doubles the insult to you all. Not only are you going to get less than your asking price, but she's blocking you from the market. I can tell you, there are plenty of people willing to pay more if you're willing to seek to them out. My superior, for one."

Re: THE MARKETPLACE

[cityship]

The alien's eyes narrowed, and he cut them at the nearby group and away, lowering his voice.

"Hilvetca? That gutter-born, jumped-up..." The man's cheeks flushed a rather unnerving shade of purple under their pink glitter foundation. Then he looked thoughtfully down at Howard.

"Are you suggesting that you could get me directly in contact with your superior?"

Re: THE MARKETPLACE

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

It is, Howard realizes, very difficult to keep your cool when the person towering over you is turning purple with anger. Even if it's not directed at you. Howard keeps his voice as calm as possible and tries not to blink too much.

"Not suggesting so much as saying. I'd need to know which official avenues you'd prefer and my superior can extend an invitation.

(( OOC: running errands, slow tags for a few hours. ))

Re: THE MARKETPLACE

[cityship]

The purple was actually a part of the alien's normal expression; for him, Howard's upturned face was rather creepy in its consistent coloration.

He considered for a long moment. Direct access was worth a lot; being the person who had arranged for direct access was worth more. He might be a man, a second assistant lace-puller, fit only to tie on women's shoes when the primary lacer was ill; but he was still a person! He still had ambitions! And someday, he thought, he would be a shoe-polisher.

"Yes," he said with a soft smile, "yes, it would be best to do it through official channels." He nodded sharply, sending a little shower of glitter from his hair. "All visitors are invited to attend the Dawn Festival of the Smile of the Daughter; if your superior were to ask for sponsorship of her visit, the Glimmering Prosperity clan would be ready to endorse her. And her - future business deals."

OFFICIAL CHANNELS

[zouichi.livejournal.com]

The hat made her look taller, at least, and Zouichi had been quick to escort her to the tallest visitor's chair. The room was large and airy and would have actually been rather nice if it wasn't for the glitter-and-fake-gem trim on the paneling. And on the ceiling. And inlaid on the floor. And trimming everyone's clothing.

She arranged her ruffles on top of her ruffles, and gave a pleasant smile to the tall woman whose title was Official Alien Welcomer. She concentrated on her face, and not on the small covered platter by her elbow that let out the most interesting smell of meat. Hot meat, fresh-cut from the bone.

"Of course I wouldn't dream of doing a culinary tour of the galaxy without visiting Epicurea," she purred. "I haven't the slightest doubt that it will be the highlight of my journey. And when I discovered that the Golden Orb of Perception was also here, well! What was I to do but proceed to your beautiful planet immediately?" She sighed theatrically. "If only my schedule was not so demanding..."

Re: OFFICIAL CHANNELS

[zouichi.livejournal.com]

Zouichi took a seat beside Anwei, in a shorter chair. It was surprisingly difficult to manage while wearing wedge sandals, but he did it without incident, remaining deferentially silent. Since it was the women who did the hard negotiations on this planet, his input would likely not be welcome.

He tried his best to look demure.

Re: OFFICIAL CHANNELS

[cityship]

"Surely the accommodations are to your standards? We have, of course, provided luxurious rooming for you in the hotel, but we know some races have peculiarities we can't predict." Modesty is not considered a virtue here on Epicurea.

The Official Alien Welcomer takes a seat across the table, folding her hands comfortably. Soon, the High Countess of Feminine Roundness enters, surrounded by a variety of bodyguards in meido outfits. The Countess never makes eye contact, instead always looking directly above whomever's speaking, if she bothers to grace them with acknowledgement at all. One of the bodyguards brings a platter of shrimp-like things to much on and hand-feeds the Countess.

"I've heard there's been interest in the Golden Orb of Prosperity. You must know, of course, that allowing off-world visitors to view it is explicitly verboten. I'm very nearly insulted that you believe my House is in possession of it. But away from such silly matters - our culinary tour is, of course, the finest in the galaxy, and such a tour requires appropriate compensation. What will you be willing to offer in exchange for a weekend of our mirth and gustatory delights?"

Re: OFFICIAL CHANNELS

[8wings.livejournal.com]

"I would never entertain the slightest doubt in your standards." She was not here to be entertained, after all.

Anwei was keeping one eye aimed above the Countess' head, and one just a little bit above it; she knew exactly how unsettling that particular gaze was. Play up the exotic, the unknown, the who-knows-what-she-might-do and, more importantly, who-knows-what-she-might-pay.

"Simply to visit a planet that is blessed by the Orb would be enough for any sentient of good breeding." Which certainly included her, not that she particularly liked being of her line. "And of course, it is only appropriate that I share a small amount of what I have to offer, in exchange for your invitation."

"Zouichi," she said, making a sharp gesture to the small silver platter, and the little golden cups and spoons arranged on it. "Serve the lady."

Re: OFFICIAL CHANNELS

[zouichi.livejournal.com]

Though his carefully schooled expression remained unchanged, Zouichi was a little taken aback at Anwei's acting skills, if that was what they were. More likely they were a holdover of her upbringing; the unchallengeable authority she projected in her voice was actually surprisingly daunting.

He slid smoothly down off his seat, taking the tray with him and -- ah, why hadn't he noticed before? There was a narrow riser running around the table, presumably to allow shorter visitors to approach the Countess with greater ease.

Zouichi made his way up the spiraling riser to where the Countess awaited, his movement accompanied by the soft swish of satiny fabric as the ribbon at the small of his back trailed in a graceful flutter behind him.

When he reached her, he set the tray beside the official with a slow, slight bow of his head, looking up through his lashes slightly to give her a demure smile before returning to Anwei. This time he took the opportunity to stand on the riser behind her, gaze still respectfully lowered.

Re: OFFICIAL CHANNELS

[cityship]

"It's very unusual to have a male as your deputy servant, though I do admit he's rather...pretty." The Countess says, looking somewhat disapproving. "I suppose if you had no adequate females in your entourage, he's an acceptable substitute. Dainty enough."

The Countess waits as one of her servants spoonfeeds some of the slop into her mouth, then eats it slowly and ponderously. The look on her face is inscrutable.

Finally, she swallows and pronounces, "this is a delicacy on your world, is it not? Surely, to come to our world you must know that the price of entry would be two hundred gallons. A pity we could not help you to seek the Orb, as you do seem an acceptable business partner."