trans_9 | Monsters and Mazes

"Don't you worry my dark skinned beauty!" A gnome with goggles that made his eyes seem to be three times the normal size. He hopped up on the table grinning smugly. "You're in the company of the Mighty Morgan company!" He swayed drunkenly and threw a bag of coin at the bartender, "And with that, MORE BEER!"

And they launched back into their tale for the fifth time that night. It seemed they weren't that clever a band, just brave and good fighters. They sent out the female of their party as bait and when she was attacked the rest of them came out of the forest to ambush the bandits.

"That's th'sorriest excuse o' an 'adventure' that e'er graced me ears," Clamor mumbled under his breath. "I cannae write an epic tale based on tha' bile, Ellise."

The Dwarf walked closer to the group, raising his hands as he did so.

"OI! YE GITS UP THAR! Tell a diffren' story, one tha's worth retellin'. Ah've had more excitin' adventures squattin' me arse in th'woods!"

Poking his nose into things that didn't concern him. That was how all of his best trips in Azeroth started, wasn't it?

"Thank you kind gnome, I feel much safer knowing that." She bowed, concealing a wicked grin on her face. This would be easier than she'd hoped.

Looking at her friend, and the commotion he might start only pressed her forward to do her thing. While the adventurers spoken and bellowed and cheered at the great adventures they had, she moved silently between the crowd, focusing on her work except for how jittery she was inside; sensorium or not... she disliked crowds.

She used her sleight of hand to slip items off the adventurers bags, preferably anything that looked shiny or something that resembled a bag of coins. Always keeping her guard up, and her gaze on the people in the bar. Her unfaltering shy maiden smile and the light blush of her innocent cheeks.

While Ellise robbed them blind the little Gnome shot an accusing point at Clamor "Well go on then scruffy face! If you can do so better let's hear it!"

Clamor puffed out his chest and raised his pudgy arm to the challenge. "Aye! I ken tell a be'er tale in me sleep!"

The Dwarf closed his eyes for a moment and brought the jug up to his lips. He blew, causing a low sound to come from the container. Suddenly he flipped the jar over and began thumping the side of it with utensils as if it were a drum. When he was happy with the cheery little beat he began singing in a gruff tone.

Now this here is a tale I heard
When I wos but a lad
Abou' a man who's brave an' strong
traits others wish they had

Th' kingdom tha' th'hero lived
was bleak withou' a sun
Th'rumor's tha' it fled one day
and wosnae found by none

Our hero roamed th'countryside
and crossed the mountain pass
Te find a woman smart n' kind
tha' he could call his lass

One day he crossed a beggar man
an' told him all his woes
th'beggar said he'd help tha lad
if he wid buy 'im clothes

There was a girl, the beggar said
wit hair tha's spun o' gold
Wit porcelain skin an' ruby lips
A beauty te behold

Th'hero left as fast as can
and didnae pay 'is fee
Th'beggar called a curse on 'im
Tha' fate was there te see

Our hero battled dragons, gods
and e'en nature's wrath
Te glean th'knowledge he 'ad sought
Te keep 'im on 'is path

He killed th' dreaded Ogre Lord
righ' in his skyward keep
An' foun' th'lass he traveled for
trapped in a cage, asleep

Th'beggar's tale was righ' an' true
Th'lass was as he said
She fell in love at first sight
An th'two were set te wed

She told him at th'weddin'
that he'd always have 'er heart
Th'hero vowed te follow her
and ne'er be apart

Tha' weddin' night our hero, true
couldnae beleive 'is eyes
There lay a snake no lass should have
between 'is lover's thighs

Fate saw 'is shock an' dropped righ' down
te see the whole ordeal
He n'er forgot th' beggars words
th'one tha' he'd now seal

"The heavens missed you, brilliant one"
"Your time on earth is done"
He took tha' righ' embarrassed lad
who's name was really 'sun'

He grabbed the hero righ' an' true
an tossed them in th'sky
His weddin' words 'ad sealed th'deal
and now 'ed ne'er die

Our hero te this day is seen
afloat the darkened night
His name is known as 'moon' te some
couldnae escape 'is plight

Tha's why th'sun rolls through the sky
te chase the moon 'o ran
The moon flees from 'is 'perfect gal'
his lass o' wos a man!

After he finished his 'epic tale' he stroked his mighty beard, a jovial look about his face.

"Now tha's a tale worth tellin', lads!"

Ellise blinked at Clamor a few times wondering where he had gotten that story from... but then she remembered he had a tendency to frequent bars and taverns, listening to old dwarf and human tales.

She tried to keep a straight face as she took the last of the spoils, turning tail and walking off before the crowd was shaken out of the stupor they probably all were after Clamor's tale.

She gave him a playful wink and stood back in the shadows away from the crowd, waiting for her friend to gloat a bit more while she counted some coin she had 'rightfully' earned.

The crowd was cheering uproariously at the Bards tale, ordering drinks they would later find out they couldn't afford.

"Not bad." A voice spoke from the darkness. A bent old woman was smirking at Ellise through crooked teeth, "He sets them up, you knock them down. A strategy as tried and true as the sunrise and set."

Ellise raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"Oh? It does sound like a good strategy huh? Maybe I should try'et next time." A sweet innocent smile crossing her features as she placed the coins back in the bags and into her pouch belt, pressing the lock closed.

"I would dare say so, there's a fancy party up in the hoity toity part of town. You and your hairy lump of a friend could clean up if you played your cards right." The old crone cooed.

Ellise's ears perked up, he'd caught her attention. "Go on ol'man, I'm listening..."

That set her off "I'm a woman you nearsighted bimbo!" And a smack with her walking stick for good measure.

In Ellise's defense...she was a hideous old woman.

"You sure you ain' a goblin?" Ellise quipped back with a sweet smile before bowing.

"My apologies miss, with your current attire it is hard to discern. Tho of course that can be a good thing."

Clamor excitedly stomped his way over to Ellise, jug in tow.

"Hey, Ellise I-," he paused and cleared his throat. "I mean, oi, lass! Lookit th' bounty ol' Clamor brought back for ye."

The Dwarf shook the jug he carried, causing the newly added liquid inside to slosh about. "Drink fer th'road, cos ye know we'll be needin' it."

It was then that he finally noticed the old hag standing there, talking to his elf buddy.

"'Ey, haggy. Sumthin' we ken do fer ye?"

"You can slice out your tongue the next time you think to call my Haggy you wart. It'll save me the trouble of doing it myself!!!" The questgiving crone was not particularly pleased with this turn of conversation. ~~Beastboy thought it was hilarious but that's another story~~

Ellise smirked and turned to the... elder, yes elder. "I apologize for my partner's behavior. You see it seems he's had much to drink and cannot hold his tongue. Anyways, you were saying?"

"Wot? I've hardly wet me beard with th'taste o' ale!" He complained. Nonetheless, he decided to shut his trap and let his partner do some of the talking...for now.

She harrumphed and went on a for a moment about "In her day" before she got on to the important part.

"There's a fancy dress social event up in the rich blue blood side of town. I reckon tween the two of you you could really clean up if you tried." She grinned with her crooked teeth, "And all I want for this little tidbit of info is for you to steal a necklace from the mayors daughter. It's an emerald bauble. Impossible to miss. She wears it to every party."

As for how to get it off her?

"Well I'll leave that up to you two."

Ellise scoffed, of course she knew there was a catch, nothing's free, doesn't mean she's got to like it.

"Oy really? I was expecting somethin' outta this, no one gives out info for free. So why only the necklace? Ya got some sort of think for emeralds, or is this personal?" She eyed the old hag for a moment, studying her reaction.

Clamor looked between himself and the elf beside him. "N'er mind tha'. How're we gonna get inside a place like tha'? 'Social events' require bein' invited, donnit? Nae t'mention tha' we have te look th'part, too."

"It's personal" The old crone snapped and then turned on the Dwarf, "Do I have to plan the whole scheme out for you? It shouldn't be that hard for you two to pull a fast one on the stuffy blue bloods." She really didn't seem to like Clamor as much as Ellise.

The Dwarf rolled his eyes at the woman and crossed his thick arms. "Yeh, cos I remember seein' SO MANY Dwarves among nobles, righ'? Yer bein' righ'ly rude fer someone o' wants a favor done fer'em, ye crone."

Yeah...he probably won't be making that diplomacy check.

Ellise made a hushing motion towards Clamor and frowned.

"Tis' fine, in the end it be a mutual arrangement. Jus' be warned that I don' take betrayal lightly." The words were sweet when uttered, but that poisonous warning had a very dangerous undertone.

"We'll be makin' preparations. I take it you're the type to 'find us when da deed be done' den?"

"I'll be keeping my eyes and ears open." She nodded and reached into her cloak drawing out a scroll. "This here's a map of the city. The party is to the north. There's also some alleys marked that lead to the sewers in case you need them.

The Dwarf looked positively displeased, but he remained silent through the old woman and his companion's exchange. Even during fake adventures, he got the jerk treatment. Suddenly a thought hit him that wiped his previous annoyance away.

"Ellise," the Dwarf started, sounding more like 'Nokosi' than 'Clamor'. "I don't know how what to do at a noble's party. How am I going to 'fit in'?"

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1/? Bear with the wall o' text, I felt the need to weave a 'Nokosi'-ish bard tale, here.

1/2 \o/

Showoff >////>

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