Not Really Alone [Closed]

[hack-rat.livejournal.com]

 Alex sat on the floor of engineering, off by the corner where he usually worked, with the sheet and pillow off of his bed. He propped himself against what appeared to be the empty chassis for some old terminal, and got himself consumed in a game of Galactica. Something about those older actiony games was oddly soothing in a way.

Steady trance beats still poured from his speakers, just loud enough to be heard softly from the door to the department. He at least seemed to be doing a lot better with it this time.

Comments

[kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com]

It hurt, to see how badly this was affecting Alex. Like Luna, it left a heavy hole in him, one that Katara hoped that she and Billy could fill. It wouldn't happen overnight, not when Alex had always had a friend he could just talk to and debate about similar things with, but she would do her best. There were bound to be differences of course: she was a girl, after all, and their technology was definitely worlds apart. If anything, Billy would likely have more in common with Alex than she would, but she would still be there.

Billy, could you please make us another cup of tea? I'm out. She sent it silently, then turned to Alex. "I know engineering might be comforting for you, but if you want a place that's a little homier, I have that suite down in the City: my door is always open, and its not like I would say no to the company. It gets a little lonely there myself."

Which was perfect for crying at night honestly, which Katara was glad no one else knew about, but she could forgo that for Alex's sake. It was likely not healthy anyway.

[morphitudinous]

Billy nodded, squeezing them and whispering an "I'll be right back" to both of them.

Back at the teapot, away from the other two, he silently looked down at the mug and wondered. Could things really be all right for them? He wanted to believe it with all his heart, but the raw pain he saw was a difficult obstacle to get around. Luckily, there was warmth in friendship to sustain them. Could it win out? He'd definitely try his best.

He lingered and stirred the pot, waiting for the other two to finish whatever they must be talking about in secret.

[hack-rat.livejournal.com]

Alex looked up after Billy, reluctantly letting him go with a nod as he tried to control his tears. He settled back against Katara, wiping at his eyes even as his sobbing calms down a bit.

"Th-thanks K-Katara, b-but I w-wouldn't w-want ta k-keep you up though." That had been another thing he had shared with Tavros. Nightmares. There was some odd understanding they had when it came to that, and it was nice knowing that there was someone there, someone real, that could break the feeling of the dream, someone who understood the feeling and wasn't going to make a big fuss over it. They just would share a look, maybe a quiet word, and go back to sleep.

Alex gave her a gentle squeeze, crying into her shoulder.

[kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com]

"You wouldn't keep me up," Katara said, "and its up to you to tell me what happened to you. But I won't force you: if you want to stay here, you can. I just want to make sure you're not left alone, and letting you know that you have a place to stay. And if you need something to do: it IS the Outsider's hideout, and we still have a lot of cleaning and rigging to do all over the place. But if you would feel uncomfortable there, I won't force you, ok?"

She rubbed his back gently, waiting for Billy to come back.

[morphitudinous]

Billy returned a short while later, an even bigger pile of comfortable pillows in a bag over his shoulder and the teapot in hand. Once that was all poured, he arranged a mini-nest around them and settled in a short distance away. It felt slightly awkward to jump right back in.

"Is all this okay, or do you all need anything else?"

[hack-rat.livejournal.com]

Alex gratefully took the freshly warmed tea and drank from it deeply. "This i-is more than e-enough, Billy. Thank you."

He grabbed one of the pillows and held onto it tightly. He wondered if he should tell Katara and Billy what had been done to him as a child. He was glad that he had been offered a place to say, at least. It was odd how much this was reminding him of Mikel and Loretta; how Mikel had not only offered to let Alex stay in his place, but made him a key and got a pull-out couch just for him. Loretta held him when he cried. Together they would stay next to him for as long as he needed them.

Still, it was rare for him to stay with Mikel. He was always afraid of being too much trouble to him, the same way he was afraid that he would impose too much on Katara. Still, their encouraging smiles and their doting was something he had missed, though he hadn't realized how much he had really missed it until now.

At the same time, it baffled him. His connection with Loretta and Mikel had built over years. He had just been a young boy when he had first met them. He had just lost his mother, and they had been so supportive, even though they didn't know him. And still he had found himself opening up to them. He began opening to Katara and Billy even faster than he had to them. He squeezed the pillow again, trying to keep his voice calm as he spoke, "I-I'm g-glad, at l-least you're b-both still here. I d-don't want ta b-be alone again."

[kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com]

"AS long as we're all still here, trust me, you won't have to worry about being alone," Katara said to him. She knew that, of course, in most cases Ale would likely be more comfortable rooming with Billy. She also knew, due to the relationship with Billy and Ronnae, how unlikely that was going to be. The two of them were already very private people, and Alex would need companionship.

Katara not only had that to give him, it would definitely be nice to have someone with her when she was by herself in that big suite. She had never really been alone, not since before traveling with the Avatar, and so much room and quiet unsettled her.

She took a sip of her tea, trying to forget those troubles of hers. "It isn't an imposition, really. If anything, you would be the perfect roommate: I already have so much work to do with the Outsiders, and I could use the company. I'd be happy to have you."