Meditation [Open]

[lackofdarkwings.livejournal.com]

Breathe in, breathe out.

Matt was in a rather unorthodox position on the ground. Instead of being in one of those lotus positions that people come to associate with meditation, Matt was flat on his back with the lights lowered to a gentle hum. He was laying on a training mat and his breathing was slow, and his eyes closed. It looked like he was sleeping if it weren't for the cool glass of water in his hand.

He was dressed oddly even for Matt, in a rather feminine suit of armor, chestpiece and all. He didn't wear the helmet, but once in a while his hand would go out and touch the item that was at the side. He had rarely taken off Aqua's armor for the time being, just until he got everything under control.

In, breathe out. Sip water. Repeat.

Comments

[drowpaladin.livejournal.com]

Maydril thought the position was odd, admittedly, but Lady Amaranth, the War Knight, had always said Go with what worked for you. Even if that had meant odd positions--and in the scheme, laying down wasn't particularly odd.

She managed to keep her footsteps light, so that her armor barely squeaked or jingled as she came in and settled herself down in her own lotus position, legs crossed, palms up on her knees.

"Hello, again," she said quietly, so as not to disrupt Matt's concentration too much.

[lackofdarkwings.livejournal.com]

"Hey May," said Matt from his prone position. He nary cracked an eye at her but his head turned towards the sound of her voice.

"Come to look in on the "sick leave" guy?" he asked lightly.

[drowpaladin.livejournal.com]

"I never did look in on you after the last time," Maydril said. "It was remiss of me." But it seemed that despite her best efforts, shyness crippled her sometimes.

"That, and I was not boasting about my meditation skills."

[lackofdarkwings.livejournal.com]

"Ah, to be honest I thought I had it under control to be honest," admitted Matt as he finally sat up and placed the glass to the side. "Maybe if we spoke more, we could have figured out why I've got this going on."

He held up his hand and grasped at the light high above. "Any tips would be most appreciated."

[drowpaladin.livejournal.com]

"I figured if you had not, I would have felt something, so either you did have it so, or I have had my shields too strong. I would not think the latter was possible yet, though. I am only in my second year of Knight training, after all." She shrugged her shoulders, jingling slightly.

Maydril looked thoughtful. "What experience have you in meditation? I need it as a focus for casting for two types of the magic I can do, so it is of tantamount importance for a Paladin to be good at it. Thus I practice often."

[lackofdarkwings.livejournal.com]

"I use it to clear my mind, and focus on what I need to do in any situation," said Matt with a nod as he held up his hand and a warm glow appeared, only slightly diffused by inky shadows creeping at the corners.

"The shadows are the worrisome thing. I have no affinity for black magic."

[drowpaladin.livejournal.com]

"Nor do I, however, I am not unfamiliar with it. In Servryn, Dark Knights and Knights-Errant use black magic; it is not frowned upon, it is just...another tool."

Her lips twitched slightly. But the Knightly Codes had been abolished four centuries ago, there. There was a reason they had been. Maydril shook her head--it was certainly not important here.

"Though now that I think of it, I believe they use invocation to give shape to their black magic." The half-elf tilted her head at Matt. "Do you think that might help at all?"

[lackofdarkwings.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, it's just that Aqua seems really concerned." admitted Matt as he squashed the magic out. "She lent me this armor until I can get it under control."

"Power Words and Chaos Words? I could give it a try," said Matt. "I'll have to look in the library to see if there's any chants I can figure out. I have no head for Latin right now."

[drowpaladin.livejournal.com]

"It is a concern," Maydril agreed. "Black magic is destructive, I will mince no words about it. But there are generations of Knights who prove it can be controlled, and so I feel no particular need to dance on eggshells around you."

She shrugged again. "I would go with what makes you comfortable, but if I happen to come across anything by talented Dark Knights or Knights-Errant when I am in the media library, I certainly will direct you to it."

[badassfreakingoverlord]

"All right!" The book burst in, which is to say, its minion thrust it face-first through the door. After a moment to wince and strongly reconsider his 'bursting in as a book' technique, Zetta re-adopted his scowl. "Explain more better!"

[lackofdarkwings.livejournal.com]

Face-dooring non-stated, Matt opened an eye and sat up with a groan. "Didn't take long huh?"

He shifted into a better sitting position and sighed. "Something happened to me, I don't know how, I doubt it's stress but that's part of it. For some reason, I'm having trouble with controlling my magic, and Aqua says it's because of the darkness growing in my heart."

[badassfreakingoverlord]

"Darkness growing in your heart."

Zetta gave Matt a looooong, skeptical look at that.

"Okay. What are you overcomplicating?" He KNOWS you humans, Matt! You're making something stupider than it has to be!

[lackofdarkwings.livejournal.com]

Matt groaned. He couldn't really lie so he explained. "Lately, when I find myself getting mad, I do things, snapping at people, destroying things in the sensoriums, but most importantly..."

He held up a hand and it was supposed to be bright gold light, but it was tinged with black smoke-like magic. "This happens, all the time now. It happened once before when I was stressed out and this time it's happening again."

[badassfreakingoverlord]

"Okay, but that doesn't answer the question," Zetta said. Not that he understood what was WRONG with the things Matt was talking about, but hey, whatever it took to get Matt back on the Council before the chuckleheads on it could vote to unilaterally disarm and repurpose the ship into a giant pie-oven for the Ohm. "WHY are you snapping and destroying things when you're mad?"

[lackofdarkwings.livejournal.com]

"I don't KNOW!" exclaimed Matt hotly as he buried his face in his hands. "I can't... I don't know where it came from. I have no affinity for black magic, my temper is out of control at times... maybe it is a severe case of stress."

[badassfreakingoverlord]

"Well, when did it start?" the book asked, as its minion sat down with the tome still in her arms.

[lackofdarkwings.livejournal.com]

"Maybe... a few weeks after the Nightmare King," said Matt thoughtfully as he lifted his face.

"... Nightmare King... oh bloody...! I should have seen it sooner."

[kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com]

It might have been easy to just talk to him casually on the network, but that hadn't been enough for Katara. For some unknown reason, something was happening to Matt, and she wanted to know what. The moment he told her to come over she was there, curious to know what was going on with him.

She entered the bus, moving around tentatively. "Matt? Are you ok?"

[lackofdarkwings.livejournal.com]

"Hey," called out Matt, raising a hand from his laying down position. He had such a good walk and blew up a few things here and there and he was relaxing, cooling down.

"Yeah still wearing armor," admitted Matt. "I don't look silly do I?"

[kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com]

She couldn't help but give him a grin. "You know, you look a little too relaxed to be meditating. But I'm at least glad to see you aren't in too bad shape."

Not that she believed for a second that he was all ok. He hadn't sounded all right. "It looks off, but not silly. Whats happening to you?"

[lackofdarkwings.livejournal.com]

"My old teacher called it 'Lawnchair with a beer'. I guess it's not too far off the mark." remarked Matt with a shrug.

"Hard to peck out," admitted Matt. "I don't want to say it without any proof, but remember the Nightmare King? Right, stupid question. In any case, I think being so close to him might have opened my heart a chain reaction thus far. Lately when I get upset, I fly off the handle in private. And I create darkness."

[kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com]

She shook her head. "Well, its not something I think I'd recommend, but if you actually get helped this way, maybe its just something Ive never thought of."

Katara shuddered a little. She remembered the Nightmare King all right: that was something that had actually been pretty bad she wanted to not think about especially since that was when Aang had been shot. That moment alone was enough to give her nightmares for a month.

"Darkness? What can we do? How can we help with this?"

[lackofdarkwings.livejournal.com]

"I'm actually kind of uncertain of what we can do, either letting it out a little at a time, or bottle it up," replied Matt with a sigh. "Perhaps maybe if I can talk to Aqua again, there's something she knows. She seemed really concerned about what I did back during the fight."

[kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com]

Katara was definitely more than a little alarmed. "What can we do then? You said you were talking to someone named Aqua? Please, where can I find her? I want to know what we can do to help you!"

[lackofdarkwings.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, she lives with Sasami I think," said Matt, recalling a few things here and there. "She's the one who I borrowed the armor from."