trans_9 | Stargazing and thinking

Feldt couldn't stand being around a lot of people for very long. The crew of the Ptolemy was a very tight knight crew and they were pretty much the only family that Feldt had ever known. There were a lot of other people in this place and she didn't like it. She couldn't wander around the City without feeling uncomfortable or like she was being watched. The hangar was a nice place for her to go to, since she grew up around the Gundams and she knew how to repair them. She was also more comfortable around the machines than she was other people.

Still, going to the hangar presented other dangers. There were a lot of other mobile suits around and the other pilots didn't like Celestial Being that much, rather, they didn't like the ideals of Celestial Being. She had grown up with them and the rules of secrecy. She had broke them once to tell Lockon about her parents and how they had died, but she hasn't done it again.

Everyone she had talked to here had good points. It may be against Celestial Being's ideals to fight in a war, but they were fighting to survive here. The world that they were trying to change was no longer around. She wasn't sure if she should be helping the other pilots out, she was a skilled CIC officer and could coordinate the mobile suits in battle, but she didn't know if Tieria would let her. She wasn't going to go against the Meister's orders, after all, he was the only one with a connection to Veda.

She found her way to the Spacewalk and could only stare. It was like the viewing deck on the Ptolemy. It reminded her of what she had lost and as she gazed out at the stars moving past, she could feel a tear falling down her face. She wiped it away and shook her head. She needed to think about what she was going to do here, not what had gone on in the past.

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She blinked, looking around when she heard a rather familiar voice call out. She then noticed Allenby a short distance away. She wiped at her eyes before calling out. "Hello," her voice was soft, unlike when they first met. She wasn't angry this time.

She found comfort in the stars. She had grown up around them so it didn't bother her at all. She enjoyed her time alone, but she didn't mind talking to people upon occasion. She was just more comfortable around robots.

What... oh. Oh, crap. Had she been crying? It sure looked like it. Allenby shuffled her feet, at a loss for what to do. She hadn't ever talked to someone who was upset before. Sad-upset, not punch-things-upset.

Maybe she ought to just leave. Except Allenby did feel sort of bad after finding out that nowhere with Gundams used them properly, so it wasn't like yelling at a CB person and then being friends with Cagalli was really fair. So. Yeah.

"Um. Are you okay?" she asked, taking a somewhat hesitant step closer. "I mean, I can leave if you wanna be alone. I was just wanderin' around."

"I'll be fine," she said a little too quickly. She never was one for talking about her feelings, well, unless you were a certain sniper with an orange Haro. "This just reminds me of home."

She looked back out at the stars. She felt clam here, the viewing deck on the Ptolemy was one of her favorite places to go and just be alone. Anyone could go there, but she usually went when others were busy.

Allenby fidgeted with her hands before swinging her arms back and forth uneasily. See, if Feldt was a fighter she could offer just to go down to the City with her and have a quick match to get her feelings out.

...On the other hand, that might not work even if Feldt was the kind of person who would communicate her feelings with her fists. Allenby had done her own share of crying alone in her quarters. The thought of Earth, her home planet, just gone after the way she and everybody else had fought with everything in their soul to save it... it just wasn't fair. And until they found whatever Ohms had decided to blow it up so she could beat the everloving crap out of them, she really couldn't do much of anything.

At something of a loss, she looked out at the stars too. "The colonies back on my Earth didn't look real different from the planet, 'cept they were nicer. Neo-Sweden's had a blue sky and forests and everything. I only saw space when I was in a ship or a Gundam," she said. "Must be something to look out your window and see it everyday, huh."

"Celestial Being's ship had a viewing deck similar to this, a place to watch the stars," she said. She couldn't tell much more than that. She had only told one other person about her past and he had died, at least, he was dead before coming to this place. She remembered his death and it was so confusing to see him alive in this place.

"We spent a lot of time in space," she added a minute later, looking over at Allenby. She couldn't tell the girl that she had been born in outer space and grew up around Gundams and Haros.

"Guess it must be easier to find places to send your Gundams if you're based up there," Allenby said. It wasn't supposed to be critical, but all the same she couldn't keep some disapproval out of her voice, even though she knew that her Earth's use of Gundams was the unusual one. That didn't make it wrong to use them for something other than killing people. But she tried to drag her mind away from that.

Who used Gundams for what and where didn't matter anymore. What mattered was using them to stop the Ohm and get Earth back. All the Earths.

She pressed her hands against the window, looking out at the nothing and everything of space. "It's pretty to see, even if it does make me feel--" She searched for a way to word the oppressive vastness of the universe "--tiny."

Stargazing and thinking

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