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trans_92011-01-12 01:43 am
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And When the Sky Was Opened [open]
First, he had to hit Engineering to talk to this Billy fellow--and cross his fingers and hope for the best. This wasn't Metrocity, he hadn't saved the day here and worked for the peoples' trust, and while he'd read that Constitution about people not being punished for past crimes that didn't necessarily mean there wouldn't be attitudes of distrust and the like.
There was, of course, the option of lying about his former villainhood, but good guys weren't supposed to do that, right? And with Roxanne not remembering that he'd reformed, all he'd need was for her to mention he was a villain, and then he'd have to explain the whole thing, and then it would get all messy.
It was better people knew ahead of time. It was better that got their judging...thing out of the way ahead of time, especially if he was trying to work under them.
So off to Engineering he went. Now that he was fairly certain he didn't have anyone to intimidate, he wasn't wearing his cape or the collar, hoping to look as normal as possible.
Of course, on the way there, and afterward, he nosed around into many a place on the ship to look around, often blurting out "Incredible!" "Magnificent!" "Do you see that? That is the coolest thing I've ever seen!" and other such exclamations at the wonders he saw. The ship was a beaut, a techno-organic masterpiece!
[ooc: You can catch him poking around just about anywhere on the ship, although his jaunt to Engineering comes first chronologically. Just specify where he ran into your guy.]</font
There was, of course, the option of lying about his former villainhood, but good guys weren't supposed to do that, right? And with Roxanne not remembering that he'd reformed, all he'd need was for her to mention he was a villain, and then he'd have to explain the whole thing, and then it would get all messy.
It was better people knew ahead of time. It was better that got their judging...thing out of the way ahead of time, especially if he was trying to work under them.
So off to Engineering he went. Now that he was fairly certain he didn't have anyone to intimidate, he wasn't wearing his cape or the collar, hoping to look as normal as possible.
Of course, on the way there, and afterward, he nosed around into many a place on the ship to look around, often blurting out "Incredible!" "Magnificent!" "Do you see that? That is the coolest thing I've ever seen!" and other such exclamations at the wonders he saw. The ship was a beaut, a techno-organic masterpiece!
[ooc: You can catch him poking around just about anywhere on the ship, although his jaunt to Engineering comes first chronologically. Just specify where he ran into your guy.]</font
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Of course, it was all about perception, that whole right and wrong bit, wasn’t it? She flicks her eyes back at him, and relaxes a little in her chair.
“That was quite a bit of monologuing.” She smiles faintly over the rim of her mug.
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"So there I was, an infant in prison--and I realized that my prison dads were trapped there! They couldn't get out! And they didn't want to be there, so using the binky my parents gave me, which doubled as an energy source--I suppose they wanted me to have something to work with if I needed it--and what materials I could scavenge, I busted them out of prison. That part you probably know, since it was on public record and exposed my presence to the world. I remember one of the headlines: 'Alien Tyke on a Trike Breaks Open Metrocity County Prison,'" he said, punctuating each word with his hand, as if reading the headline in the air.
Megamind still sounded slightly proud of it, perhaps more than he should, but then an infant engineering a prison break with a binky and some rubbish was somewhat impressive, you had to admit. Even that young, he'd been determined and resourceful.
"Of course, I got caught, and tried--and initially, they were going to be lenient, I think. There were concerns about my intelligence and possible capacity to be judged as an adult, but my court-appointed attorney had made some good arguments. I was but a child, and clearly not from Earth, I didn't know right from wrong--but by that point, I saw no reason to stick around to listen to their idle nattering, so I held the court-room hostage with a laser and tried to escape my own trial."
She knew that part, too. It was also on public record.
"I didn't manage to escape successfully, and after that, well--the judge and jury weren't exactly inclined to go easy on me. The prosecutor argued that, because of my obvious intelligence, I knew right from wrong--and I did, didn't I? I certainly knew what was right and what was wrong--and also that there was absolutely nothing wrong if I did something wrong, other than the wrongness of...its inherent wrongness which was right, in my eyes."
This was where he squirmed uncomfortably, somewhat.
"So I was successfully tried as an adult and spent my formative years in relative isolation, in prison. I was a child so I was in solitary confinement--the warden worried that I'd be victimized, that the protective instincts of the other inmates would fade when I was no longer an infant. I was also considered an escape risk--for very good reason, as the following years demonstrated. I had some tutoring, and there was a rather inept prison psychiatrist I saw, that had no idea what to do with a delinquent child, let alone one so emotionally comprised, that struggled with not being the same species as everyone else. That incompetent is likely the one responsible for much of the true information disseminated about me--there are things I told only him that have shown up in some of the books. Doctor-patient privilege breaking--"
His mouth set itself in a thin line.
"My behavior was spotless those years. I know you've looked at my record. I tried very hard to be good, because I was told that if I was, someday I'd get to go outside, and maybe leave the prison, and then I'd perhaps get a family, like my old prison dads. I had Minion, of course, and he was very good company for a lonely child, but the prospect of a family, of the outside world was..."
He didn't really want to go into that any further.
"It was incentive enough to behave. Mostly. For a time."
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She’d done a four part special on the crime in Metro City, once. Megamind had had his own hour segment. She’d wondered sourly at the time if he’d been proud of that. Maybe he had.
She takes a steadying breath.
“If it was available to see, I’ve looked it up.” That was all she volunteered on the subject of said therapist, of information that had been printed in books, newspaper articles, magazines, the internet. Or anyone she could have weaseled information out of. She was thorough, if nothing else.
“But that ended.” The good behavior. Everyone knew it, Roxanne herself far more than anyone else.
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"To this day, I don't know how the Warden managed it, and I know he was the one personally responsible. Perhaps he got social services involved, but he made an arrangement for me to go to shool nearby." No, Roxanne, he will never pronounce that right. "With escorts, under guard-- I can't even imagine how they dealt with the protests of the parents, and a few students were taken out by their parents in those early days. It was a reward for good behavior, a chance to socialize with others my age, to try to get on a better path."
This still pissed him off. Not that he hadn't forgiven the man by now, but he really had been an obnoxious snot when they'd gone to school together.
"And he was there. We crossed paths yet again! Teacher's pet, loved by the other students, straight-A student, class clown, always perfect. Always. With his powers and charisma and his perfect life that I could have had instead, and his perfect expensive clothes when I was in a prison jumpsuit--and his perfect hair..."
Megamind leaned over so that his cheek rested on his hand, a sour look on his face.
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“Megamind...?” Her voice is quiet, thick with some kind of un-definable emotion. She can’t understand this – she can’t pretend to. The past is the past and it’s not something that can be changed – he’d said himself there was no reset button.
But maybe she can at least listen, maybe keep him from dwelling, lingering too long on past hurts that were still so obviously painful.
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"I didn't even hate him at first, either. Oh, I was jealous of the life he had that could have been mine, but I tried to--I tried imitating him. Tried to impress the others with similar tricks like the ones he did with his powers, but it always backfired, and something or another would explode--and then it was quiet time in the corner for me! And you know, whatever he became as an adult, and whoever he is now, he was just--he was a jerk as a child! I was, admittedly, socially maladjusted, but very quiet and eager to please and he liked to lead the others in the teasing. 'Blueberry head,' that was their favorite, and he was the one that started it. And having someone hurl balls at you at the dodgeball wall with super-strength wasn't exactly a walk in the park, you know."
There was still bitterness there, so much bitterness for a grown man to have, but for him it wasn't just playground teasing, for him it was a taste of the outside world, of what he figured he should expect from everyone else in it.
"I suppose it might have been his own way of coping, though, in retrospect. Even looking human didn't make him one and what better to cement his place among them than making fun of the freak that was even more alien than he? Children can be very cruel."
What he'd told her that day in the park about not being liked was true, all true.
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A shrug. "The difference between myself and many other juvenile delinquents that have made that choice was that no prison could hold me for long, and I had a decent working knowledge of particle physics. Being evil was incredibly easy for me, outsmarting the Warden an idle past-time. And then I wanted more and more of a challenge, so the villainy started."
He added, reflectively, "I think I was who I became for most of my life right there at eight-years-old. That's where I stayed for all these years. Playing games, getting reactions, becoming infamous if I couldn't be accepted, because at least I controlled the reaction then." There was a surprising depth of emotion in his voice. "I couldn't be unwanted and disliked just for being myself if I made myself unwanted and disliked, if it was a choice, if I terrified people on purpose--"
He broke off, preferring to avoid explaining that anymore, casting about for his train of thought.
"I felt no connection to my adopted world or the people in it. None. None whatsoever. You were all idle playthings there to amuse me, props in my little scenarios and an audience, all in one. When Metro Man opposed me, attempting to defeat him gave me purpose, prison breaks were new challenges as security measures were tightened each time--I was always thrilled at chances for new puzzles to solve! New schemes to plan! Outsmarting the Warden yet again!" He started chewing on his nail, nervously, and now he couldn't look her in the eye. "I never wanted to really hurt anyone, of course, I still had the vaguest sense that you were all sentient beings that didn't truly deserve that, I set up my bombs and traps in such ways that there was time for evacuations, time for Metro Man to save the day, so that bystanders weren't killed, because the thought made me...squeamish. Plenty of reckless endangerment, of course--you know that better than anyone--but I always left...wiggle room. Extra time. Certain traps were actually set to fail on purpose of they weren't disabled in time--" He shot her a look. "Not that it didn't stop you for mocking me for being inept."
You have to admit, Roxanne, for someone that garnered that many life sentences for that many crimes, he didn't really hurt anyone. No loss of life and limb, at least, which was why "killing" Metro Man was so shocking, even to him.
"But what else could I have? Who, besides Minion, who was blind to my faults, would ever like me, who would ever want to be around me? What place could I have on Earth if no one wanted me there, if they saw me as--as a blueberry head? If I was something to be pointed and laughed at, if--if they thought it was perfectly fine to lock me up for my entire childhood--"
The bitterness was creeping into his voice, so he cut himself off again.
"It doesn't excuse everything I did, the people I frightened, manipulated, the homes and businesses I destroyed, the lives I ruined, the wealth I stole that wasn't my own." Briefly, he glanced up at her and his expression softened somewhat. "It doesn't excuse lies and deceit--and repeated kidnappings, the constant disruptions to lives of...certain individuals. Others, faced with that situation would have risen up and become stronger for it, worked even harder to find their place--and eventually found it. But if you want to know why I turned evil, that's why. For the challenge, because that way people had a reason to hate me, and because I didn't like any of you."
And there it was, Roxanne, in full.
"It's not as if any of you would ever like me."
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The past years fly by in her face - abduction after abduction, dangled over alligator pits, threatened with guns the size of semi trucks, sharp instruments shoved in her face, bullets, bombs, conversations...
"WHY would I EVER be with YOU?"
"Yes yes, I'm sure we're all eager to see what your next catastrophe will be--"
"Juvenile, tacky, tasteless-"
"Why are you so evil? What could you possibly hope to gain?"
She looked away, ignoring the sting in her eyes. She wanted to get up and flee, think about her choices in life and her reactions to things over the years – reflect on herself and how she quite possibly contributed to his loneliness.
“Why always me?” Her voice is rough, gravelly – maybe a little wet with emotion. It’s barely above a whisper. “Why not someone else at the station?”
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He'd made his own choices, and of all the people there were, she probably had the most right to be genuinely furious with him for all the things he'd done and all the ways he'd disrupted her life.
"You were the one with the obvious connection to Metro Man. Everyone--and I mean everyone--thought you were his girlfriend. That made you the ideal bait."
He added slowly, "Although, after time..."
Gosh, this was embarrassing.
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Roxanne nods numbly, leaning back. "I know. That's just...how it always came across, I guess."
She'd stopped trying to deny it after a while. No one really listened.
"After time...?" She lifted a brow, and leaned forward a little.
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He pouted slightly.
"It was never really the same."
Megamind pressed a hand to his brow, half-hiding his eyes, cheeks tinged with purple, and it should have been abundantly clear by now--he'd liked her even back then.
"I never admitted it to myself then, of course. What self-respecting supervillain actually enjoyed the company of their captive? But the truth was, sometimes I--"
Embarrassing. This was still embarassing.
"Sometimes when I kidnapped you, I didn't even have a plan in the works. I'd be bored or in a mood and it always cheered me up, so Minion would suggest it, and we'd run off in the invisible car to capture you and just...wing it. Sometimes I'd come up with a plan on the way there! Remember that terrible, terrible caper with the mind controlled frogs that seemed like it'd been put together the very last minute and I totally denied it had been?"
So embarrassing.
"Well, it had."
The part that was embarrassing now, though, wasn't that he was a villain that was fond of someone, because he wasn't a villain anymore, and more comfortable being fond of someone. It was that he'd had to deny it then, that he'd had to kidnap someone for basic social interaction, and then deny he even liked talking to her. What was embarrassing was how dysfunctional he'd been.
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Well. Put out when he'd kidnapped someone else. Inexplicably annoyed. Her cheeks puff as she exhales a short, articulated sigh, brow knitting together.
Roxanne leans back in her seat, letting her arms drift to fold over her chest as she digests what he's saying. Her lips are pursed slightly but there's an upward turn at the very corners of her mouth.
Yes, she remembered the mind controlled frogs. Vividly.
"I had wondered about that, you know."
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"Part of the job. The whole reporter thing."
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"So, that's how it all ties together. I was miserable, I did terrible things for a host of reasons, I became fond of you despite myself, when given the opportunity to get to know you better, I took it, because I was an imbecile, and then the rest..."
Tappity tap.
"You were the first person, other than Minion--who was pretty much meant to care for me from birth--that I was ever remotely fond of. I still don't particularly like people, mind you. People, as a whole, are a giant mass of stupid herd animals--only herd animals don't do nearly as many cruel and barbaric things as humans do to one another. But I've come to see how...nice the occasional individual can be, and it makes it easier to have a rosier view of the whole. That distance isn't quite what it used to be."
More tippity tapping.
"I also like who I am now better than I once did."
He was happier.
"Also, months of therapy have done wonders, especially now that I've actually been talking rather than trying to psych out my therapist for kicks. Dr. Katzenspiel thinks I've made excellent progress. If there's someone on board, I do intend to--to continue with that. Make sure there are no lapses."
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"If you want me to, that is. I know I'm not the same...or, I'm just not far enough along to be the same..." She frowns. What was she trying to say, here? It's obvious that this...lapse in time bothers her. A lot.
"You know what I'm trying to say. My point is that I'd like to...try to help you."
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To be honest, he wasn't sure how he'd have progressed this far without her help. He probably would've never reformed at all if it weren't for her, eventually getting caught one time too many, unable to break out of prison again, and force to spend the rest of his days in jail in total isolation. He didn't like to think about what the potential alternative might have been.
"Thank you, Roxanne."
Never "Roxie." She had a lovely name and he always liked to say it in full.
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"You're welcome."
She smiles hesitantly, and holds a hand out.
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All he could really do was smile at her, and it was shy and altogether Bernard-like--only really that just made it Megamind-like, didn't it. Bernard was just a false name and a face that'd covered up something real and genuine underneath.
He was fortunate she was the woman she was, that she was willing to give him this chance, he knew--but that was part of why he cared for her at all. She was a wholly remarkable woman, and maybe, if he worked at it, things could be the same between them eventually that they had been for him back home, even with those missing six months.
At the very least, he was grateful for this right here.
Oh, you magnificent woman, you always give me far more than I deserve...