trans_9 | And When the Sky Was Opened [open]

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And When the Sky Was Opened [open]

First, he had to hit Engineering to talk to this Billy fellow--and cross his fingers and hope for the best. This wasn't Metrocity, he hadn't saved the day here and worked for the peoples' trust, and while he'd read that Constitution about people not being punished for past crimes that didn't necessarily mean there wouldn't be attitudes of distrust and the like.

There was, of course, the option of lying about his former villainhood, but good guys weren't supposed to do that, right? And with Roxanne not remembering that he'd reformed, all he'd need was for her to mention he was a villain, and then he'd have to explain the whole thing, and then it would get all messy.

It was better people knew ahead of time. It was better that got their judging...thing out of the way ahead of time, especially if he was trying to work under them.

So off to Engineering he went. Now that he was fairly certain he didn't have anyone to intimidate, he wasn't wearing his cape or the collar, hoping to look as normal as possible.

Of course, on the way there, and afterward, he nosed around into many a place on the ship to look around, often blurting out "Incredible!" "Magnificent!" "Do you see that? That is the coolest thing I've ever seen!" and other such exclamations at the wonders he saw. The ship was a beaut, a techno-organic masterpiece!

[ooc: You can catch him poking around just about anywhere on the ship, although his jaunt to Engineering comes first chronologically. Just specify where he ran into your guy.]</font

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"That they can," she agreed quietly, twining her fingers with his. Didn't she know it - she witnessed it even in her adult life when she had visited certain schools to talk to principals, teachers, review the educational system and what was being done to fix it.

"When you're labeled 'the bad one' enough, when nothing you do is ever right, your only recourse is to accept that everyone else is right about you, that you're horrible, that you don't belong anywhere, that you're bad to the core, and feel terrible and hate yourself for it--or you can revel in it. I decided that if they thought I was bad, I was going to show them how bad I could really be. Nothing I did was ever right, so I decided to enjoy the wrongness of it, and then it became a game."

A shrug. "The difference between myself and many other juvenile delinquents that have made that choice was that no prison could hold me for long, and I had a decent working knowledge of particle physics. Being evil was incredibly easy for me, outsmarting the Warden an idle past-time. And then I wanted more and more of a challenge, so the villainy started."

He added, reflectively, "I think I was who I became for most of my life right there at eight-years-old. That's where I stayed for all these years. Playing games, getting reactions, becoming infamous if I couldn't be accepted, because at least I controlled the reaction then." There was a surprising depth of emotion in his voice. "I couldn't be unwanted and disliked just for being myself if I made myself unwanted and disliked, if it was a choice, if I terrified people on purpose--"

He broke off, preferring to avoid explaining that anymore, casting about for his train of thought.

"I felt no connection to my adopted world or the people in it. None. None whatsoever. You were all idle playthings there to amuse me, props in my little scenarios and an audience, all in one. When Metro Man opposed me, attempting to defeat him gave me purpose, prison breaks were new challenges as security measures were tightened each time--I was always thrilled at chances for new puzzles to solve! New schemes to plan! Outsmarting the Warden yet again!" He started chewing on his nail, nervously, and now he couldn't look her in the eye. "I never wanted to really hurt anyone, of course, I still had the vaguest sense that you were all sentient beings that didn't truly deserve that, I set up my bombs and traps in such ways that there was time for evacuations, time for Metro Man to save the day, so that bystanders weren't killed, because the thought made me...squeamish. Plenty of reckless endangerment, of course--you know that better than anyone--but I always left...wiggle room. Extra time. Certain traps were actually set to fail on purpose of they weren't disabled in time--" He shot her a look. "Not that it didn't stop you for mocking me for being inept."

You have to admit, Roxanne, for someone that garnered that many life sentences for that many crimes, he didn't really hurt anyone. No loss of life and limb, at least, which was why "killing" Metro Man was so shocking, even to him.

"But what else could I have? Who, besides Minion, who was blind to my faults, would ever like me, who would ever want to be around me? What place could I have on Earth if no one wanted me there, if they saw me as--as a blueberry head? If I was something to be pointed and laughed at, if--if they thought it was perfectly fine to lock me up for my entire childhood--"

The bitterness was creeping into his voice, so he cut himself off again.

"It doesn't excuse everything I did, the people I frightened, manipulated, the homes and businesses I destroyed, the lives I ruined, the wealth I stole that wasn't my own." Briefly, he glanced up at her and his expression softened somewhat. "It doesn't excuse lies and deceit--and repeated kidnappings, the constant disruptions to lives of...certain individuals. Others, faced with that situation would have risen up and become stronger for it, worked even harder to find their place--and eventually found it. But if you want to know why I turned evil, that's why. For the challenge, because that way people had a reason to hate me, and because I didn't like any of you."

And there it was, Roxanne, in full.

"It's not as if any of you would ever like me."

Roxanne flinched visibly and draws back in her chair, releasing him. She was not a weak willed woman by any means, but the whole conversation felt like some kind of verbal slap - though she highly doubted that was his intention. Their verbal banter over the years – how many times had she unintentionally truly hurt him with her words. Probably more than she cared to think about. She suddenly felt inexplicably horrible.

The past years fly by in her face - abduction after abduction, dangled over alligator pits, threatened with guns the size of semi trucks, sharp instruments shoved in her face, bullets, bombs, conversations...

"WHY would I EVER be with YOU?"
"Yes yes, I'm sure we're all eager to see what your next catastrophe will be--"
"Juvenile, tacky, tasteless-"
"Why are you so evil? What could you possibly hope to gain?"

She looked away, ignoring the sting in her eyes. She wanted to get up and flee, think about her choices in life and her reactions to things over the years – reflect on herself and how she quite possibly contributed to his loneliness.

“Why always me?” Her voice is rough, gravelly – maybe a little wet with emotion. It’s barely above a whisper. “Why not someone else at the station?”

Edited 2011-01-18 19:33 (UTC)

Ah, but she hadn't judged a book by its cover, had she? She'd looked at the contents. His actions were what made her judge him and say those things and when his actions had been purposeful, when he'd wanted to evoke that reaction--how was that her fault in the least?

He'd made his own choices, and of all the people there were, she probably had the most right to be genuinely furious with him for all the things he'd done and all the ways he'd disrupted her life.

"You were the one with the obvious connection to Metro Man. Everyone--and I mean everyone--thought you were his girlfriend. That made you the ideal bait."

He added slowly, "Although, after time..."

Gosh, this was embarrassing.

Funny thing, guilt. Even when something isn't wholly your fault, it's still easy to feel the blame.

Roxanne nods numbly, leaning back. "I know. That's just...how it always came across, I guess."

She'd stopped trying to deny it after a while. No one really listened.

"After time...?" She lifted a brow, and leaned forward a little.

"You were never afraid of me. Even despite the kidnappings, even when everyone else was terrified of me, you still poked your nose into my business. You were fearless, and intelligent, and curious, and I--I came to enjoy the witty repartee. Just a bit. I did try other hostages for a time--you remember that bus full of nuns the one time, right? And the school-teacher during the whole sonic robot fiasco--all she did was scream her head off the entire time. She didn't actually escape like she claimed--it got so irritating I let her go!"

He pouted slightly.

"It was never really the same."

Megamind pressed a hand to his brow, half-hiding his eyes, cheeks tinged with purple, and it should have been abundantly clear by now--he'd liked her even back then.

"I never admitted it to myself then, of course. What self-respecting supervillain actually enjoyed the company of their captive? But the truth was, sometimes I--"

Embarrassing. This was still embarassing.

"Sometimes when I kidnapped you, I didn't even have a plan in the works. I'd be bored or in a mood and it always cheered me up, so Minion would suggest it, and we'd run off in the invisible car to capture you and just...wing it. Sometimes I'd come up with a plan on the way there! Remember that terrible, terrible caper with the mind controlled frogs that seemed like it'd been put together the very last minute and I totally denied it had been?"

So embarrassing.

"Well, it had."

The part that was embarrassing now, though, wasn't that he was a villain that was fond of someone, because he wasn't a villain anymore, and more comfortable being fond of someone. It was that he'd had to deny it then, that he'd had to kidnap someone for basic social interaction, and then deny he even liked talking to her. What was embarrassing was how dysfunctional he'd been.

"I thought you liked the screams," she responded dryly, brushing her bangs out of her face. "I thought it annoyed you when I didn't scream bloody murder." Roxanne would never, ever admit it, but she'd been slightly...

Well. Put out when he'd kidnapped someone else. Inexplicably annoyed. Her cheeks puff as she exhales a short, articulated sigh, brow knitting together.

Roxanne leans back in her seat, letting her arms drift to fold over her chest as she digests what he's saying. Her lips are pursed slightly but there's an upward turn at the very corners of her mouth.

Yes, she remembered the mind controlled frogs. Vividly.

"I had wondered about that, you know."

"I'm not surprised you did. You wonder about everything."

She taps her temple lightly, finally letting herself smile.

"Part of the job. The whole reporter thing."

Megamind tapped his fingers on the table again. He was so used to doing something with his hands, that it was hard to keep his fingers still. One of the hazards of being a chronic tinkerer.

"So, that's how it all ties together. I was miserable, I did terrible things for a host of reasons, I became fond of you despite myself, when given the opportunity to get to know you better, I took it, because I was an imbecile, and then the rest..."

Tappity tap.

"You were the first person, other than Minion--who was pretty much meant to care for me from birth--that I was ever remotely fond of. I still don't particularly like people, mind you. People, as a whole, are a giant mass of stupid herd animals--only herd animals don't do nearly as many cruel and barbaric things as humans do to one another. But I've come to see how...nice the occasional individual can be, and it makes it easier to have a rosier view of the whole. That distance isn't quite what it used to be."

More tippity tapping.

"I also like who I am now better than I once did."

He was happier.

"Also, months of therapy have done wonders, especially now that I've actually been talking rather than trying to psych out my therapist for kicks. Dr. Katzenspiel thinks I've made excellent progress. If there's someone on board, I do intend to--to continue with that. Make sure there are no lapses."

Edited 2011-01-22 06:34 (UTC)

"I'd like...to help too." She shrugs.

"If you want me to, that is. I know I'm not the same...or, I'm just not far enough along to be the same..." She frowns. What was she trying to say, here? It's obvious that this...lapse in time bothers her. A lot.

"You know what I'm trying to say. My point is that I'd like to...try to help you."

"I would appreciate that more than you know."

To be honest, he wasn't sure how he'd have progressed this far without her help. He probably would've never reformed at all if it weren't for her, eventually getting caught one time too many, unable to break out of prison again, and force to spend the rest of his days in jail in total isolation. He didn't like to think about what the potential alternative might have been.

"Thank you, Roxanne."

Never "Roxie." She had a lovely name and he always liked to say it in full.

Edited 2011-01-22 06:48 (UTC)

Shefound she liked it when he said her full name, too - not 'Miss Ritchi', just...Roxanne.

"You're welcome."

She smiles hesitantly, and holds a hand out.

Slowly, with all the awkward hesitance of someone who still wasn't altogether used to holding hands, he reached out and placed his hand in her own, long fingers clasping around hers, his thumb gently brushing against her fingers.

All he could really do was smile at her, and it was shy and altogether Bernard-like--only really that just made it Megamind-like, didn't it. Bernard was just a false name and a face that'd covered up something real and genuine underneath.

He was fortunate she was the woman she was, that she was willing to give him this chance, he knew--but that was part of why he cared for her at all. She was a wholly remarkable woman, and maybe, if he worked at it, things could be the same between them eventually that they had been for him back home, even with those missing six months.

At the very least, he was grateful for this right here.

Oh, you magnificent woman, you always give me far more than I deserve...

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And When the Sky Was Opened [open]

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