trans_9 | We Need To Talk [Closed]

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We Need To Talk [Closed]

Julian almost never visited Hydroponics. He'd stop in every now and again, mostly to pick a few bottles from the beer tree, but never for an extended stay. He wasn't much of a nature lover, and its not as if the air there was any less recycled than anywhere else on the ship.

Still, he chose this place to talk to Sofia. And they needed to talk. At some point, they were going to have to make sense of this relationship of theirs.

At least Hydroponics was a relatively relaxed environment, it was visited by so few people that they could talk quietly in private, but public enough that they'd have to think twice before doing anything other than talking. Unless they got creative. Which caused him to take a second look around while he waited for Sofia.

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Sofia kept second guessing herself the entire walk there but this needed to happen. They needed to talk. She'd been avoiding it for long enough.

"Julian." She just hoped she didn't look and sound as nervous as she felt.

Julian had been looking over at a small forest, which would probably give them enough cover if they decided to... stop talking.

"Hey!" He greeted her cheerfully. At least he seemed happy to see her.

"So... you wanted to talk?"

"Yes." She had no idea what to make of the fact that Julian seemed happy. It was probably because he thought he was about to get laid. Although she couldn't hope but help it was because...

Oh, that was never going to happen.

There was no easy way to break the ice.

"About us..." Definitely not that way.

"Okay." There was a sort of awkward silence there, since he really didn't know where to begin.

"What about us?"

Sofia took a deep breath.

"What... is this? What are we?" Because she had no idea.

There was another awkward silence from him while he rolled that around in his head. Saying 'Friends with benefits' would probably get him slapped. Though, the honest truth was...

"I'm not sure. Was that night supposed to be a one time only deal?"

And another awkward silence as she rolled that around in her head.

"I think that would depend on if it meant something to you." She said finally.

It was times like this that he really missed Cessily, because he had a feeling Sofia was saying something other than what she had just said and Cess was good at translating Girl to English for him.

"It didn't not mean nothing," he went as far as saying.

Edited 2010-09-12 06:01 (UTC)

Sofia rubbed her forehead. "What do you want, Julian?"

"I don't know," he told her. Though, no sooner had the words left his mouth than he realized that wasn't exactly true.

"Something I'll probably never get," he amended.

"What do you want?"

"What do you mean something you'll never get?" Sofia said, ignoring Julian's question for the moment.

"Doesn't matter," he stated, waving off her inquiry. "At this juncture, it's all a moot point." So he figured, anyway.

"You didn't answer my question," he pointed out.

"It does matter." She shook her head and sighed. "I want someone who cares about me and isn't going to send me away the moment I gain powers, lose powers, or do something they don't like. But that isn't going to happen either." She sounded flippant but only because she was trying to hide how sensitive a subject that was.

He didn't really say anything in response, he just made a small grunt of acknowledgment. He thought for another moment, then finally asked, "What do you want from me? That was one of the few things about you I could never figure out."

Sofia blinked. "What you could never figure out about me? I thought you were the one-" She cut herself off. "What I want from you..." That was so very complicated. She closed her eyes. "I want to know if you love me or not. I want to know if you want to and are ready to be in a relationship or not and if not then I want you to-" She sighed. "What I want from you is to know if you want me, and I don't mean in bed."

"I do love you," he told her, and he meant it. Though he also sounded a bit exasperated.

"But a relationship is... why do you even want one? It's not like we ever really dated to begin with," if one took an honest look at things. Hell, their entire time at the institute he only kissed her once. Granted, he had gotten further with her on the ship, but they still never really had a single date.

"When I said we should start over, I just figured well, we can go out a few times, see how things go and take it from there. But its like I have to be engaged to you just to get a date and anything less than that is me being some trifling heartless bastard who's toying with your affections."

That was... not something she expected to hear. "Is it really that much to ask that you not sleep with other girls? I don't- I don't mind if you want to see other people." Liar. "But I want you to be honest with me and I do not want to just be 'the other woman.' I- this is not just me you're hurting. You're not being honest with people who do care." And she'd suffered from several broken ribs that proved it. "I'm not asking to be engaged. I'm asking for an actual attempt at something. Not a definite commitment but- something more than just sleeping with each other and then acting like nothing ever happened. I- I love you, Julian but if you can't do that then..." Now was the tough part. "Then we should just stay friends, if we can." She wasn't so sure if they could.

There was still part of him that was fairly certain that some part of that was not entirely english, but it's not like it was unfair. Though the prospect of being in a relationship...

If it took this much to even get it off the ground, then...

"Do you even think we'd actually work out?"

Sofia sighed. "I don't know, Julian. Only if we both wanted it to and worked at it. Now you should answer my question. What do you want?"

What did he want? In all honesty, he really only wanted one thing. He looked away from her, and crossed his arms before answering though somewhat gritted teeth..

"I want something I can actually count on, for once." And he absolutely hated saying that out loud. There was really nothing as pathetic as admitting you needed someone else.

Sofia couldn't stop the small, wistful smile on her face. "Me too."

That caused him to look back at her.

"So why are we...?" What were they doing, really?

"Why are we...?" She really didn't know where he was going to go there. Well, she had two ideas but they were total opposites.

"I don't know." Why was this so difficult?

"We're a mess," he pointed out. "And even if we could get it together, I don't know if you'd stay."

Well, she couldn't really deny that. "I can't make any promises, no one can. But I can tell you I will never leave you the way I did before." And if he didn't believe her or that wasn't enough then... it was probably best they stay apart.

The fact that the first thought to cross his mind was Oh great, now you'll find some all NEW way to walk out on me wasn't a good sign, something he recognized immediately. He closed his eyes and let out a breath.

"I'm sorry," he finally said, after a long moment.

She should have expected that.

Sofia bowed her head. She could feel tears forming in her eyes and didn't want him to see.

"I'm sorry too." She said before turning around to leave the way she came.

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We Need To Talk [Closed]

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