Swords for Hunters. [Open] (Warning for language because Hunters)

[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

Training was coming along. Also the house they were living in, but it still needed more repairs. That Xander guy was a big help, even if Dean didn't care for how the guy would sometimes stare at his brother too long. It was weird, and he'd be apologetic about it as he'd get back to work. But it's weird. All the one eyed guy would say would be how he knew the other Sam and they worked together against the Yeerk. The very idea of his brother being possessed again by something evil... that was worse, and reminded him too much of the possible futures he kept hearing or seeing. Sam saying yes. Like he was always going to bend over to Lucifer for one reason or another. And Dean had to allow it. Just sit back like some useless bitch while everything falls. Well hell with that, hell with the damn future for that matter. He hoped Adam was in the pods perhaps, and maybe his old man. At very least Mikey can't have them take his place.

Or you can accept your destiny, Dean.

Crap, he could do without the background commentary. He needed a drink or something to fight. He was half hoping Vader would show up somewhere so he could go kick his Sith ass. Be better than contemplating how much his future will suck if they get their world back. Eh, screw it, he needed to practice or something. He checked the time. Hunter class was yesterday, so he was free and clear there. He hated using the Sensoriums but it did work for training purposes. Like the hunting sim he rigged up a few times.

Now, time for something different. Cas was probably poking around the hydroponics. As long as he was just growing herbs and weed and not trying to partake anything narcotic, it seemed like a good idea. Gave him something else to do. Just like what Dean was doing. Keep moving, keep busy. Fight and bury the thoughts down in the hole.

Today's practice didn't involve a gun though. It involved a longsword. His old man gave them some pointers about bladed weapons, and an overview just in case. But most of their battles involved guns and bigger weapons. Still, better to be diverse as possible.

Comments

[mercjedi.livejournal.com]

"Pretty much. I'd almost feel sad for him if he wasn't such a kriffing dangerous idiot because of it." More specifically if he didn't keep threatening Arha. "Luke says there's still good inside him, and he's probably right. No one is beyond redemption, but Vader really tests my belief in that."

[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

"Yeah well he screwed up but making everybody pay for it which sucks. World's gotta pay for one wrong decision. Son of bitch deserves whatever he gets." It's hard to tell who Dean was talking about at this point.

[mercjedi.livejournal.com]

Kyle leaned back on his bench, and looked up for a minute before finally speaking again. "This is what I was trying to communicate when I was talking about hate, and anger. If you let them consume you like they did Vader it leads to nowhere good, and the same goes for the people he's wronged. We can't let revenge cloud our minds, and lead us down the same road he took."

[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

"Was never about revenge for me. Not really. And I don't hate the guy. Pity him yeah, but he's not the one I hate."

[mercjedi.livejournal.com]

Kyle looks over his shoulder at Dean, his voice calm, and even. "Who do you hate then?"

[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

Dean didn't answer him. At least not right away and not directly.

He glanced away, and his voice sounded far away as he recited something.

"The First Seal shall be broken when the Righteous Man sheds blood in hell. As he breaks, so shall it break. Couldn't hold out any longer."

[mercjedi.livejournal.com]

Kyle didn't understand all of what that meant, but it certainly wasn't anything good. It had that ring of doom to it that so much prophecy did. "You're only human Dean. We've all slipped before."

[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

Most prophecies did. Especially ones from his world.


"It meant I gave in. Couldn't stay on the rack any longer, and I picked up the knife to carve into other souls. I enjoyed it even, and it started the end of the world. I gave in while my dad never broke."

[mercjedi.livejournal.com]

So that was what he'd been holding in all this time. Miracle he was still functioning at all. "That doesn't mean you were weak Dean. Sometimes people manipulate us for their ends. It doesn't make us evil because of it. You were a righteous man then, maybe one who slipped but you were, and still are. The fact you're trying to set things right proves that."

Kyle sighs, and looks into the distance. "Besides we all have things we're not proud of. Horrible things we wouldn't have done had we known otherwise. You can't keep punishing yourself for them, you just have to learn, and move forward."

[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

Somebody (Ok granted it turned out to be a hallucination of a doctor) once asked how he got out of bed in the morning. He didn't have an answer, and this Dean still didn't know.

'Daddy never broke, but his little princess broke in thirty'

"Fact still remains I broke in 30 and my dad was down there for 100 years before he escaped. He held out while I couldn't. So how is that not weak? And he never would have liked it like I did. And he never would have missed it."

[mercjedi.livejournal.com]

"You can't know for sure that he wouldn't have. We all have a dark side to ourselves. Some people never have to deal with it, but that doesn't mean it's not there. Leading the kind of life you led, or that I've led, tends to make it much harder to avoid seeing it." Kyle was playing through memories of the times he'd let that darker part of himself take over. The results had never been pretty.

"You're not weak because you've seen that side of yourself, and you've fought it. There's no weakness in that."

[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

"Only because Cas dragged me out of there. I wouldn't have left otherwise."

Dean shifted and rolled up his sleeve on his left arm where there was a handprint shaped burn there.

"My little souvenir from Hell."

[mercjedi.livejournal.com]

"Some times it takes someone other than ourselves to wake us up to what we've been doing." Or were about to do in his case. How different his life would have been if he'd killed that woman instead of sparing her.

[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

"Yeah I guess," He rolled his sleeve back down. "Usually it was my brother," Briefly thinking of how he must have not said yes. "Still is. But this time... well it's one of the reasons I trust Cas. And he's given up everything for me."

[mercjedi.livejournal.com]

"I had people like that too. People who kept me grounded, and fighting for the right reasons. Fighting the right way. Without them...I'd be a very different person right now." Probably only a little better than Vader actually.

[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, well in some cases, they reminded me of my purpose." Like his brother, and how his whole life has been trying to watch out for him.

[mercjedi.livejournal.com]

His had reminded him of that as well. With Jan around it was hard to forget what your purpose was. "That can be a good thing too. So if they still are all behind you, why are you still carrying all that weight on your shoulders?"

[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

"If we get our world back, for one, it's back to being the end of the world. Another. Cas is from our future, and he told some things about it. Supposed to save everybody there, but only by losing everything I got left."

[mercjedi.livejournal.com]

"Are you willing to give that much up to save everyone?" Kyle was asking honestly, and there was no judgment in his voice.

[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

"I would, hell I've been half tempted to say yes just to save my brother and everything anyway. Even if half the world got lost. But it's not like that. Cas gets killed, and my brother's going to say yes. Just so he can drag the devil back to hell, and I'm just supposed to stand by while everybody leaves me alone."

[mercjedi.livejournal.com]

"Does it work though? Does it save everyone?"

[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

Dean shrugged, "No idea. Cas didn't see that far ahead. Stacy must have grabbed just as Sam... no Lucifer took him out. So as far as I know, we suck and failed."

[mercjedi.livejournal.com]

"Maybe, or maybe it worked. If you thought it was worth doing the first time, then I'm sure it will still be worth doing. It's not easy, but then the right choice rarely is." Kyle taps his fingers on the bench, and glances around while he muses about what he just said. "Now I know that sounds like a lot of philosophical sithspit that isn't really applicable, but I assure you that bit is true. If doing right were easy everyone would make good choices, except for the most depraved of individuals."

"Wish I had something more than words, and my own experiences to give to you right now, but that's all I have."

[notadamnangel.livejournal.com]

"That's the thing, it was a last minute thing. I can't see myself just going along with it. I mean it means my little brother is throwing himself to the devil and to Hell. I've been there, I know what it's like. No way I'm going to let him go through that.

Whispers in the back of his mind which he tried to ignore (Shut up Michael) as he then said, "It was either that or I bend over and spread them for the archangel. And the damn idea keeps crossing my mind. Not just because of the destiny crap or maybe it's part of it. Maybe I was always meant for it, and it's stupid to keep saying no. Especially after I heard he's going to draft our half baby brother in my place and I can't do that."

[mercjedi.livejournal.com]

"At some point Dean you have to let go, and accept that people are going to make bad decisions no matter how much you intervene." Kyle felt a little bit of the fool for saying this right now, considering how much he'd been trying to nudge Dean in the right direction, but it still needed to be said. "You can't live your life jumping into bad decision for them, even if you only want to protect them."