trans_9 | Swords for Hunters. [Open] (Warning for language because Hunters)

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Swords for Hunters. [Open] (Warning for language because Hunters)

Training was coming along. Also the house they were living in, but it still needed more repairs. That Xander guy was a big help, even if Dean didn't care for how the guy would sometimes stare at his brother too long. It was weird, and he'd be apologetic about it as he'd get back to work. But it's weird. All the one eyed guy would say would be how he knew the other Sam and they worked together against the Yeerk. The very idea of his brother being possessed again by something evil... that was worse, and reminded him too much of the possible futures he kept hearing or seeing. Sam saying yes. Like he was always going to bend over to Lucifer for one reason or another. And Dean had to allow it. Just sit back like some useless bitch while everything falls. Well hell with that, hell with the damn future for that matter. He hoped Adam was in the pods perhaps, and maybe his old man. At very least Mikey can't have them take his place.

Or you can accept your destiny, Dean.

Crap, he could do without the background commentary. He needed a drink or something to fight. He was half hoping Vader would show up somewhere so he could go kick his Sith ass. Be better than contemplating how much his future will suck if they get their world back. Eh, screw it, he needed to practice or something. He checked the time. Hunter class was yesterday, so he was free and clear there. He hated using the Sensoriums but it did work for training purposes. Like the hunting sim he rigged up a few times.

Now, time for something different. Cas was probably poking around the hydroponics. As long as he was just growing herbs and weed and not trying to partake anything narcotic, it seemed like a good idea. Gave him something else to do. Just like what Dean was doing. Keep moving, keep busy. Fight and bury the thoughts down in the hole.

Today's practice didn't involve a gun though. It involved a longsword. His old man gave them some pointers about bladed weapons, and an overview just in case. But most of their battles involved guns and bigger weapons. Still, better to be diverse as possible.

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"Are you willing to give that much up to save everyone?" Kyle was asking honestly, and there was no judgment in his voice.

"I would, hell I've been half tempted to say yes just to save my brother and everything anyway. Even if half the world got lost. But it's not like that. Cas gets killed, and my brother's going to say yes. Just so he can drag the devil back to hell, and I'm just supposed to stand by while everybody leaves me alone."

"Does it work though? Does it save everyone?"

Dean shrugged, "No idea. Cas didn't see that far ahead. Stacy must have grabbed just as Sam... no Lucifer took him out. So as far as I know, we suck and failed."

"Maybe, or maybe it worked. If you thought it was worth doing the first time, then I'm sure it will still be worth doing. It's not easy, but then the right choice rarely is." Kyle taps his fingers on the bench, and glances around while he muses about what he just said. "Now I know that sounds like a lot of philosophical sithspit that isn't really applicable, but I assure you that bit is true. If doing right were easy everyone would make good choices, except for the most depraved of individuals."

"Wish I had something more than words, and my own experiences to give to you right now, but that's all I have."

"That's the thing, it was a last minute thing. I can't see myself just going along with it. I mean it means my little brother is throwing himself to the devil and to Hell. I've been there, I know what it's like. No way I'm going to let him go through that.

Whispers in the back of his mind which he tried to ignore (Shut up Michael) as he then said, "It was either that or I bend over and spread them for the archangel. And the damn idea keeps crossing my mind. Not just because of the destiny crap or maybe it's part of it. Maybe I was always meant for it, and it's stupid to keep saying no. Especially after I heard he's going to draft our half baby brother in my place and I can't do that."

"At some point Dean you have to let go, and accept that people are going to make bad decisions no matter how much you intervene." Kyle felt a little bit of the fool for saying this right now, considering how much he'd been trying to nudge Dean in the right direction, but it still needed to be said. "You can't live your life jumping into bad decision for them, even if you only want to protect them."

Dean shook his head, "You don't get it. My purpose for most of my life? The reason for my existence? Looking out for Sam. Protecting him."

Dean was speaking as a brother, but he was also speaking as a parent. With John on the road and hunting so much, most of the parental duties fell on Dean's shoulder. And he accepted it.

"I understand that, but there's a point where you have to let him make his own decisions. That doesn't mean you have to take the blaster bolt for him just because you think he's going down the wrong path." Kyle had seen it many times with his own students. He'd tried to protect them, but in the end he had to learn to let them make their mistakes, and hope he'd taught them well enough that they could learn from them.

"I..." Granted he had a hard time accepting his brother was all grown up now, and it showed.

"I need him. I mean last time he died, I couldn't take it. Sold my soul in his place, and that started this whole mess. Well, at least my part of it. My family's been getting manipulated their whole lives about this whole end of the world crap."

He'd suspected Dean's inability to let go was bad, but not that bad. "It sounds like they were counting on you not being able to let go."

"Considering my family's track record there, well they had good reason to. Played right into the bastards's hands there. Just lined all of us up. My mom, my dad, my brother and me."

Kyle frowned. Learning this lesson on your own was one thing, but refusing to learn it after so many examples was true foolishness. "So you're going to just keep rushing into the same mistake over, and over again?"

"Well I'm not selling my soul again, that's for damn sure. But it's not the same. It really isn't."

Right, because he hasn't already tried the self sacrificing route one too many times already.

"Anyway, going to get it right this time one way or another." Sammy's not going down there, and I never should have been dragged out. Never should have lived as long as I have.

Edited 2010-08-10 04:12 (UTC)

This was exactly the kind of thing Kyle lectured his students about. There was nothing wrong with emotions, that is until you let them cloud your judgment to the point you constantly repeat the same mistake. "You're still sacrificing yourself for your brother's bad decisions, so yes it's the same. We all want to save the people close to us, but there are other people in the galaxy."

"I'm trying to stop him from making a bad decision, it's different. And no, nobody like Sam. Family comes first, and he's the only blood I got left now. And I was told, I started it, so I have to finish it, and my dad told me to save my brother."

Dean wiped a hand over his face, "Look, it's different. Sam's supposed to live." Not me, should have been in my grave years ago if it wasn't for Dad's deal.

Kyle rubs his forehead in frustration. Dean hadn't been listening at all. At this point he was starting to wonder who was worse at refusing to accept the facts, Vader, or Dean. "That's the point! You can't stop him from making those decisions, and to keep chasing after him like that is just going to end badly for everyone involved. You can't force somebody off a path like that. The desire to alter course has to come from within themselves!"

Depends on whether Skywalkers are more or less stubborn than Winchesters really.

"We're already altering the course. The original one was I say yes to Michael, he says yes to Lucifer. They have their brawl that takes out half the planet. We've been off the map the longer we say no so why not?"

He dropped to the floor to sit, "Kyle... I'm tired. You got no idea how damn tired I am, and I've already lived helluva lot longer than I should have."

Kyle nodded, and kept rubbing his forehead. He needed a breather himself to sort out his feelings, and let them pass by so he could actually give useful advice instead of emotional outbursts. "Alright, alright. I'll drop it for now, but think about what we've talked about. Please?"

Dean sighed, and he briefly did look like a man who was in his 70s. Like that witch caught up with him and took his years again. Just tired, to where sometimes he wondered if he will just one night go to sleep and never wake up. And how tempting it was.

"Yeah sure." He won't. Not really. Sometimes the guy needs a 2x4 to the head to really get it.

Kyle sighed as well, and headed for the exit. Hopefully he got through this time. At the door he paused, and looked over his shoulder. "Just take care of yourself alright."

With that he left.

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