trans_9 | Words that we couldn't say

The last thing she'd expected was to see him show up. Katara had been expecting a meeting with Sokka and Zuko and Toph and maybe Mai. She hadn't expected to see Aang, to have all of her family back again all in one swoop, and seeing him had made everything she'd been fearing take a quiet step back. It had taken all the strength she could muster to not hug him, and hold him close then and there, not when the Ohm had shown up and Aang had a job to do. THOSE memories came flooding back and she realized that Aang would always be looking out for the crew, much like she worried about them. So she trained quietly, remembering the intensity of the Ohm in every movement: the acid spit, the massive height, the sheer force behind the. These were the the things she needed to keep in mind, and because of that she concentrated, keeping all she'd been learning in her mind: Kang and Ronan's instruction, the teaching of Nanashi's sword fighting, the steady, deadly skill of the Bene Gesserit. For that reason Katara had come to the Sensorium, calming her mind. she had to remember that night without prejudice, keeping in mind the things she saw then. Always came that question of killing, of losing oneself to the feelings of anger that came when seeing what the Ohm could do: the decision of the Yeerk incident came in full vengeance, more so now that she knew there were Yeerk on the ship now. But she knew that those feelings were something to be dealt with, a trap that made people vicious, angry, fill with thoughts of retaliation.

Not that those feelings were lost on Katara, but she knew the path they led to. Rage always came with a price, and from what she'd seen, some people paid with their former selves. Darth Vader, for instance, was a vicious, cruel man not unlike the firelord, but his son was Luke, one of the wisest people she'd met on the ship, and his way of learning had made Arha want to learn about his path. Things like that made her wonder if maybe Arha had conflict about the sisterhood, if the way of the Jedi was somehow more peaceable, more matching to the type of person Arha was.

Which was the eternal crux of the ship: there were so many ways of learning, of knowing, of doubting what they knew. Katara had come to a grassy spot here, a homage to the world they had visited not too long ago. A breeze moved over her skin, calming her. She whispered into the wind, calling the name of the one she missed. She knew it fell on deaf ears.

But she hoped he would come anyway.

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Katara shrugged. "Well supposedly he's the son of Satan, but he's trying to do good. I don't know if he's actually met the angels. He might only just know them from that book he keeps talking about."

"Probably not then. They got a serious hate on for anything even remotely demonic." He remembered how Cas would occasionally refer to his brother as an abomination because of being tainted with demon blood. Though his opinion of Sam's considerably improved since then.

Katara shook her head. "I really don't get that pantheon at all, with the demons and angels and that god you have to obey. It just seems weird to me since spiritual things in my world are so different. All this hate and the way Damion talks about some things...they just seem so destructive and unnecessary. I'm still trying to get used to it."

"Obey him? I didn't even believe he existed until an angel yanked me back up to earth. Didn't even believe angels existed till then either." As for the obeying partly... well there was a little matter of a sworn oath to obey God and his angels Dean had taken some time ago.

She shrugged. "That's what I heard. Like I said, things in my world are very different from your world. That god that Damion mentioned seems like a very complicated spirit to begin with. But I guess someone won't really believe something like that unless they see it with their own eyes. I should know: I've actually seen a few spirits myself."

"Spirits like ghosts or like gods?" Interested look at that.

"That would depend on what you call a spirit or a god. Mostly, I'd say spirits. I'd say the difference is really in how they act. Spirits in my world can get involved usually because human beings are causing an imbalance in the world. Spirits have their own realm, so they don't usually interfere in human matters unless it actually threatens the well beings of everyone. Sometimes you can even visit them to gain wisdom or insight during a great battle."

"Doesn't sound like the ghosts back home mostly. A few are just lost, most get mean on the underside and strike back against the living. Means we gotta do a salt and burn to lay them to rest."

"I'm sorry that's the case," Katara said. "But the way I think about it, we're necessary in our worlds, and that's why we were brought here. But I'm still a little curious about the kind of world you come from. I think I('ll research a little about your god and angels and devils."

"Yeah well feel free to ask Sam about it. He's research boy in the family not me. Why he holes up in the Media Library so much."

She nodded. "I go there too from time to time, though not as much as I used to. I have way too much training to go through now, that would make it impossible. But I'll do that: I've been meaning to talk to Sam again."

She clasped a hand on Dean's shoulder. "But promise me you'll try to take better care of yourself in the future, okay?"

Dean shrugged, "Yeah sure, I'm fine." He's not, and he knows he can't really make promises like that. He's too busy taking care of others to bother with himself.

Katara wasn't convinced, but then she knew she shouldn't have expected that anyway. Dean seemed to have this thing about harboring the world on his shoulder. Of course, Katara wasn't stupid either: she knew that Dean would need looking after, just as well as she knew one other person who would care just as much about what happened to him if not more.

"Okay," she said, trying to sound like she was convinced. "Good. No more crazy stunts, ok?"

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