trans_9 | (no subject)

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Vader was not impressed by the hangar.

Outwardly, he was unmoved, and inwardly he was floored, but he would not ever admit to being impressed by the rows of ships, many of which he'd never seen before. He walked down each row as impassively as though this were any normal Imperial muster, only pausing to examine something that caught his eye if he felt like he was free from the gaze of spies.

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"Someone's building me a new one as we speak. Custom-made."

He tried to pull himself up, to get free, but kind of, couldn't, so he resigned himself to dangling there, and crossed his arms as well.

"How are you this afternoon?"

"Upright," Vader said, smugly. "I am searching for a ship that fits my requirements. Since there is nothing here that even passes for qualified, I will see how low I am willing to sink in order to be spaceworthy again."

"Was that a...was that a joke?"

There was polite clapping.

"I'm impressed. I did not think you were capable."

"It is a fact," Vader said, without emotion. "You clearly do not wish to be freed, as I do not have time for frivolous children's play...or children."

"Actually, I do wish to be freed, I'm just kind of...stuck."

He clarified, "Not that you have to do anything about it if you don't want to. I'm good."

"Stubborn and foolish," Vader said, shaking his head. "Now would be the time to appeal to my sense of mercy. But you are too much like the others-- you will do no such thing."

How's it going, Hiccup? Feeling good?

Great. He loved all the blood rushing to his head, really. Loved it.

"If people have to ask, it means they're testing to see if it's there. Maybe instead of asking for your help, and searching for something in you, I already assume that a self-possessed individual like yourself has a sense of mercy and will act on it."

He just stared at him, and even upside-down, that green-eyed gaze is very sharp.

"For the record, I would be extremely appreciative of your help, and I humble myself before you to appeal to your sense of mercy. Please feel honored by the fact that I thought you were enough of a man of principal that I didn't need to do that."

A vein stood out prominently on Vader's forehead.

"You are an insolent whelp," Vader breathed, his voice a little more than a furious hiss. "The fact that you continue to breathe is mercy in and of itself. I would reduce you to a stain on the ground otherwise," he finished, breathing heavily. His eyes were wild and far from sane, and Vader turned on his heel and began to storm off.

"Wow."

Just... "Wow."

Seriously.

"Are you actually offended that I think you're a man of principal?" he called after him. "I wasn't even being sarcastic there. I was being honest."

Vader stopped, but did not turn around.

"You are most likely totally unaware of what I have sacrificed to make my galaxy whole again," Vader said, on the verge of shouting. "Do not presume to lecture me about principles."

"Can't you understand that with everything I say, I'm not trying to offend. I am just--" A sigh. "--being honest. And trying to have a sense of humor, which is offensive enough, I know, but I don't want to upset you. And not because I'm afraid of you, because I am, but that doesn't change what I say. I just don't mean for everything I say to be some huge, enraging thing and I don't know why it's working out that way."

He gestures wildly with his hands.

"I mean, can't we ever just have a normal conversation? One of these days, I would like to. 'How are you, Vader?'" Deep voice, in imitation, "'I am well, but intense, as usual. How are you today, Hiccup?' 'Upside down, apparently!'

Vader was deathly silent. After what seemed like hours, he raised his hand and (without turning around) used the Force to yank Hiccup by the collar and drop him on the ground. Then he continued to walk away, stewing and left with his own dark thoughts.

"Thank you."

A pause.

"And you have a nice day, too," he added for good measure.

Gods, some people.

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