All work and no play...

[cabbage-butt.livejournal.com]

There is an AI on the ship that goes by the name Bender Stack. It only pops up now and again, and now its function may finally be somewhat clear.

"Hey. Hey meatbag!" says a grating voice.

Bender Stack chases people away from work when they've been doing too much of it.

This is why Brainiac 5 leaves the Special Weapons Division and by the time he gets up to the Living Area (having decided to eat anyway if the irritating AI is going to heckle him out of work) he's about at his wit's end.

"--For the last time, I am not going to build you a robot prostitute! You're an AI, not a mechanoid, you couldn't interface with it anyway."

Comments

[halfa-hero.livejournal.com]

"Well. There's a phrase I'd never thought I'd hear. From you or anyone else."

[cabbage-butt.livejournal.com]

"This one AI is particularly irritating and I can't even fathom what its primary function is," Brainy says. "My best guess would be 'annoyance.'"

A pause.

"Much like your own."

[halfa-hero.livejournal.com]

"Hey, being annoying is how I make friends."

[cabbage-butt.livejournal.com]

"It seems immensely counter-productive," Brainy notes, but funny thing is, he's standing there talking to Danny, isn't he.

[halfa-hero.livejournal.com]

"Depends on how you do it. I mean, you're standing here, talking to me, in a relatively friendly matter."

[shes-intense.livejournal.com]

"You know, I've got this kind of a knack for walking in on Jaime and Paco's conversations at the most inopportune moments and then they have to fill me in on context to prove they aren't horribly warped people... but somehow I don't think that's going to make any more sense IN context."

[cabbage-butt.livejournal.com]

"One of the AIs is obscene," is Brainy's somewhat scandalized answer.

[shes-intense.livejournal.com]

"So I gathered." She tries not to laugh a little bit at the slightly flustered look on his face. "I'd punch it for you if I could."

[cabbage-butt.livejournal.com]

"If you could punch it, it would be a mechanoid and my statement would be wrong--not that I'd build it another mechanoid for such purposes anyway."

[shes-intense.livejournal.com]

"Did it chase you out of Special Weapons?" She raises a brow at him. "Also, have you even LEFT the general area of the med-lab anytime in the last few days?"

[twelvevoltman.livejournal.com]

"I could build him a robot prostitute," Allen offers.

[helipack-jack.livejournal.com]

"It couldn't be too hard," Jack adds helpfully. "I mean, I've built some fembots in my day." Not quite with those functions, but he was rather pleased with the squad of cheerleaders. The chameleon bot hadn't been too shabby either.

[twelvevoltman.livejournal.com]

Allen can't resist.

"Yeah, you look like you've built some fembots. Should I consider you available as a function consultant?"

[helipack-jack.livejournal.com]

Jack smirks. "Depends on what exactly you mean by that. But I think Brainy here needs all the help he can get."

[morphitudinous]

Unlike some other members of the nerd herd, Billy's not particularly interested in the nuances of building a robot for the purpose of sexual satisfaction.

---Okay, that's a lie. He's vaguely interested, but only in a dispassionate theoretical sense. Billy is certainly not an advocate of performing case studies on the sexual lives of artificial intelligences.

Which would be why he's making a rather interesting face at the moment.

"What sort of robot has the capacity to desire sexual interaction, and what purpose does that serve?"

[cabbage-butt.livejournal.com]

"Not a robot. One of the AIs is unnervingly salacious," Brainy remarks, frowning, "and keeps making obscene requests."

[morphitudinous]

"Right. My apologies, I only caught the last strand of that statement. That's not a very productive request, is it? As you said, it would be unable to interface"---here Billy makes a bit of a weird face---"with any physical companion you built for it. The net result of that would be wasting your time and energy, unless the presence of a robot prostitute aboard has some benefit to the crew that I'm not thinking of."

The implications of that are vivid and disturbing, so he immediately shifts gears to more familiar matters. "What were you trying to accomplish before this lecherous AI intruded?"

[lytaalex.livejournal.com]

Lyta was just stepping out of the hub when Brainy come brushing by her, arguing with what appeared to be one of the AI's. And this particular AI seemed to have a sense of humor.

"Having problems?" she asked, a tiny, amused smile appearing on her lips as she fell into step with him.

[cabbage-butt.livejournal.com]

"One of the AIs is ridiculously lewd. I can't even fathom why anyone would want to program it that way."

Oh, blast, there's something he promised he'd discuss with Lyta.

[lytaalex.livejournal.com]

"Maybe that's why they did it," Lyta suggested. "To confuse people like you and make you wonder why they created an AI like that. It could just be someone else's idea of a practical joke."

[cabbage-butt.livejournal.com]

"Perhaps," he says, and after a moment of fiddling with his omnicom, he says, "There is something I need to discuss with you."

Goldilocks and the Green-Skinned Man

[mapquest-titan.livejournal.com]

Some time after Brainy is driven out of the Special Weapons Division by the seemingly perverse Bender Stack, Cale--who has already met that particular A.I.--appears in the empty room and begins to poke around. Well, 'poking' is hardly the correct word since he's not exactly just touching things at random. He does know what he's doing. But to anyone else it probably just looks like some kid is meddling with potentially dangerous equipment.

"Hmmm..." Cale said as he picked up a device--that currently was without power--that was shaped like a head of cauliflower with six, three-pronged fork-like things extending from the bottom.

"...wonder what this does?" he thought aloud, then proceeded to look for a screwdriver or some other tools so he could open the device up and figure out what it was meant to do and how it worked.

Re: Goldilocks and the Green-Skinned Man

[cabbage-butt.livejournal.com]

"What in the world are you doing? Don't touch that," snaps the green-skinned alien, close to Cale's age (at least in appearance), that returns to the makeshift lab.

Re: Goldilocks and the Green-Skinned Man

[mapquest-titan.livejournal.com]

Cale, startled by Brainy's unexpected arrival, jumps slightly, losing his grip on the device and nearly drops it on the floor. Thankfully, he's a pretty deft kid...teenager...man...and manages to regain his hold on it.

"What the...? What are you...? Don't sneak up on people like that!" Cale snapped back.

Re: Goldilocks and the Green-Skinned Man

[cabbage-butt.livejournal.com]

"I was hardly sneaking. You were the one trespassing," Brainy insists, holding out his hand. "Now hand me that, before you break it."