trans_9 | A time to vent, a time to breathe [Open]

Entry tags:

A time to vent, a time to breathe [Open]

Kate was back up from the city, her knuckles now abraded and bloodied. Her hands were sore and likewise so from the stick she found. The clockhouse was there, but they were gone. It was over. Still feel like crap, but going down there helped in a big way. Now she was just walking around, some of the earlier weight lifted a little.

Or at least it was easier to hide any vulnerabilities now.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"I don't want that either. And he made it seem like it's different. As I said, we were just seeing how it goes."

The faintest breath of a laugh.

"I've known him since we were five, so yeah, it IS different. He and Jaime are like my siblings in a way."

Kate blinked at that, "You know it kind of seemed that way with how they talked, but with you... I wasn't sure at times."

Brenda shrugs a little and runs a hand through her hair.

"The last few years have really been rough on all three of us. They kept some secrets from me that I was really mad at them for, Jaime went missing and it was just Paco and I for a while... I suppose it'd be crazy to expect us all the come through totally unchanged."

Although she likes to think they haven't changed THAT much.

"Have you got anyone else from your world here?"

"Heard of a little of it from Paco and Jaime yeah. Sure, not right for them to keep secrets though."

Kate remarked, "I think this one younger member of the X Men is from my world. But we really only met here. So nobody I really know back home." And that had cut into Paco too. That she didn't have any of her friends helping her with the bad memories from the Yeerk. Other than Mia stopping by to visit toward the end, she had been by herself through the ordeal. The deep reopened psychological scars plus new were still there to those who know to look for them.

"They were trying to make things better for me. I was angry at the time but I understand why they did what they did."

She wasn't ready to forgive the kind of person Amparo was just yet but still... the woman honestly had turned her own life upside down in order to include Brenda in it, which was more than anyone had ever done for her. Paco and Jaime just hadn't wanted to see her throw away that gift, which was exactly what she had done to a point when she found out the truth.

"That's gotta be hard for you. I'm sorry."

"Friends sometimes do that," She agreed.

Kate then shrugged, "It's over. Doesn't matter."

"I think it does matter, but yeah. Over is about all you can ask for sometimes."

Kate sighed, and then added, remembering what her therapist told her, "Was something out of control. It had nothing to do with me, but I control how it affects me."

And oh SHIT but THAT sounds familiar. How many times did she want to pick up the pretty candy dish on her therapist's coffee table and just smash it into his face for telling her that? Pretty much EVERY fricking time she'd entered that office, actually.

People told you that a sense of control was supposed to give you comfort after trauma, but for Brenda being asked what she wanted was just one more overwhelming thing to think about. Another responsibility of a new life that she wasn't ready for.

"Just don't let them tell you that the fallout has to all be on your shoulders."

Maybe Kate feels differently about it, but on the off chance that she's like Brenda about it... well, then at least she's put the thought in her head.

Kate did too a few times before she really listened. Plus channelling and focusing her rage on fighting lessons helped even more.

She glanced at her curiously, and finally remarked, "They tried. Once. And that was before I really worked on training in fighting techniques."

Brenda gives her a small smile then.

"Should have known. You didn't seem the type to take things lying down."

Kate returned her smile with an approving one, "Same for you. Can't feel safe, but can make sure others are protected you know?"

"Yeah. And the punching things part IS truly cathartic." She laughs just a little. "I could stand to do more of it."

"The Sensoriums are good with that if you want to go practice or something. Usually head over in the morning, or really a little after I wake up." Since there was little way to tell mornings or evenings on the ship.

"I probably should take a look at those things sooner or later. Are they honestly as realistic as people tell me they are?"

"Pretty close other than knowing they're just holograms. But you can't really tell without thinking that they are. Plus the slop eaten there is better since you can make it seem like something else."

Brenda makes a nauseated face.

"Oh my god the slop. I would kill for something SOLID, seriously. Just a carrot maybe? Or even a porkchop? I'm a vegetarian but I would compromise my principles in order to use my teeth for their intended purpose again."

"I know, I've been craving real pizza for *weeks* now."

"Outer space needs a roadside diner stop."

"Seriously. Keep hoping we're going to some kind of planet or something."

Brenda snorts.

"Ten bucks says a mutiny over the lack of appetizing food is what took down whatever crew was here before us."

"I'd raise that bet if I still had my money. I wonder if there was a crew before us."

And if so, what happened to them?

Brenda frowned a little at that, considering.

"Well, the place seems to have been made with a crew in mind. I mean it's got a media room, the common spaces, bunks such as they are... As far as I can tell all of us in the pods weren't supposed to wake up. There's not nearly enough space in the living areas for how many bodies are in the pod caverns, and that's just the ones I saw myself."

"Plus the Special Weapons division looks like a tornado went through it so something must have been in the 'crew' areas before us." She looked up to the ceiling as if searching for something. "You'd think there would be security tapes somewhere with the way this place seems to 'watch' people. It's just a matter of finding them. Who or whatever built this place probably had big plans..."

Edited 2009-04-13 01:03 (UTC)

"True. I haven't checked the Special Weapons division."

Kate considered it, and then added, "If there are, I'm sure they're probably classified too. Need some quality hackers to try."

(no subject)

shes-intense.livejournal.com - 2009-04-13 01:07 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

nothawkingbird.livejournal.com - 2009-04-13 02:16 (UTC) - Expand

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only