A time to vent, a time to breathe [Open]

[nothawkingbird.livejournal.com]

Kate was back up from the city, her knuckles now abraded and bloodied. Her hands were sore and likewise so from the stick she found. The clockhouse was there, but they were gone. It was over. Still feel like crap, but going down there helped in a big way. Now she was just walking around, some of the earlier weight lifted a little.

Or at least it was easier to hide any vulnerabilities now.

Comments

[shes-intense.livejournal.com]

"I think it does matter, but yeah. Over is about all you can ask for sometimes."

[nothawkingbird.livejournal.com]

Kate sighed, and then added, remembering what her therapist told her, "Was something out of control. It had nothing to do with me, but I control how it affects me."

[shes-intense.livejournal.com]

And oh SHIT but THAT sounds familiar. How many times did she want to pick up the pretty candy dish on her therapist's coffee table and just smash it into his face for telling her that? Pretty much EVERY fricking time she'd entered that office, actually.

People told you that a sense of control was supposed to give you comfort after trauma, but for Brenda being asked what she wanted was just one more overwhelming thing to think about. Another responsibility of a new life that she wasn't ready for.

"Just don't let them tell you that the fallout has to all be on your shoulders."

Maybe Kate feels differently about it, but on the off chance that she's like Brenda about it... well, then at least she's put the thought in her head.

[nothawkingbird.livejournal.com]

Kate did too a few times before she really listened. Plus channelling and focusing her rage on fighting lessons helped even more.

She glanced at her curiously, and finally remarked, "They tried. Once. And that was before I really worked on training in fighting techniques."

[shes-intense.livejournal.com]

Brenda gives her a small smile then.

"Should have known. You didn't seem the type to take things lying down."

[nothawkingbird.livejournal.com]

Kate returned her smile with an approving one, "Same for you. Can't feel safe, but can make sure others are protected you know?"

[shes-intense.livejournal.com]

"Yeah. And the punching things part IS truly cathartic." She laughs just a little. "I could stand to do more of it."

[nothawkingbird.livejournal.com]

"The Sensoriums are good with that if you want to go practice or something. Usually head over in the morning, or really a little after I wake up." Since there was little way to tell mornings or evenings on the ship.

[shes-intense.livejournal.com]

"I probably should take a look at those things sooner or later. Are they honestly as realistic as people tell me they are?"

[nothawkingbird.livejournal.com]

"Pretty close other than knowing they're just holograms. But you can't really tell without thinking that they are. Plus the slop eaten there is better since you can make it seem like something else."

[shes-intense.livejournal.com]

Brenda makes a nauseated face.

"Oh my god the slop. I would kill for something SOLID, seriously. Just a carrot maybe? Or even a porkchop? I'm a vegetarian but I would compromise my principles in order to use my teeth for their intended purpose again."

[nothawkingbird.livejournal.com]

"I know, I've been craving real pizza for *weeks* now."

[shes-intense.livejournal.com]

"Outer space needs a roadside diner stop."

[nothawkingbird.livejournal.com]

"Seriously. Keep hoping we're going to some kind of planet or something."

[shes-intense.livejournal.com]

Brenda snorts.

"Ten bucks says a mutiny over the lack of appetizing food is what took down whatever crew was here before us."

[nothawkingbird.livejournal.com]

"I'd raise that bet if I still had my money. I wonder if there was a crew before us."

And if so, what happened to them?

[shes-intense.livejournal.com]

Brenda frowned a little at that, considering.

"Well, the place seems to have been made with a crew in mind. I mean it's got a media room, the common spaces, bunks such as they are... As far as I can tell all of us in the pods weren't supposed to wake up. There's not nearly enough space in the living areas for how many bodies are in the pod caverns, and that's just the ones I saw myself."

"Plus the Special Weapons division looks like a tornado went through it so something must have been in the 'crew' areas before us." She looked up to the ceiling as if searching for something. "You'd think there would be security tapes somewhere with the way this place seems to 'watch' people. It's just a matter of finding them. Who or whatever built this place probably had big plans..."

[nothawkingbird.livejournal.com]

"True. I haven't checked the Special Weapons division."

Kate considered it, and then added, "If there are, I'm sure they're probably classified too. Need some quality hackers to try."

[shes-intense.livejournal.com]

Brenda lifted a hand and tapped one of the walls lightly with her fingers.

"I wish Hector and Nadia were here. Nadia installed Ubuntu on a Kitchen Aid mixer once. I'm sure she could have done SOMETHING with this place."

[nothawkingbird.livejournal.com]

Kate had no idea what Ubuntu was. Maybe Billy or Teddy might, but she wasn't up on alternate OS.

"Ok? Probably? At least we do have some tech people, going by that meeting."