Selective Memory

[kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com]

It happened again. One day, Katara had her head filled with the thoughts of a person, someone she cared deeply about, someone that meant a lot to her-and the next they were gone, and Katara was left with an empty feeling. Unlike the last time, though, Katara didn't just feel like they were parts of her memory: this felt like a big chunk, like something had been ripped out of her mind. Now she stared at her hand a moment, then at her chest. She felt like she didn't know what to do with herself, as if this missing memory was something that hadn't just affected her time on the ship but her purpose, a part of her.

She started to run, but she didn't really have a destination in mind. She had had to keep running toward a place where she could get rid of this feeling, but she didn't know how to do it. None of her training or assurances or good feelings were with her right now. She felt as if she were bordering on hysteria and heartache at the same, and finally, she stopped, her muscles locking and threw up. She retched, bringing herself back, and felt horrible, but at least now she had a destination. She ran toward the medbay, her hair messy and her body trembling.

She didn't know who was here, but she opened her mouth to speak involuntary.

"I think I need to-I don't feel very-"

And then her eyes started to fill with tears and she coughed and coughed, crying still. She needed to lie down or something, she wasn't sure what, but she was in pain and felt sick and couldn't explain why.

Comments

[enter-aeneas.livejournal.com]

Oooh, that was a familiar voice.

Aeneas was feeling better, to some degree. His wounds were healing well and his mind was beginning to piece things together, bit by bit, bringing his sanity back with it. Aeneas had been thinking clearer the past few days that he’d been in several years.

…Though recently things had grown murky again. Perhaps Katara’s sudden illness had something to do with it?

The creature wriggled out of his cot, hobbling as quickly as he could towards the fallen human female that he’d grown to know far too well, crouching by her side, cradling her in his weak arms and resting his neck comfortingly over her shoulders. He’d wasn’t sure what was wrong with her—Aeneas wasn’t familiar with any sort of illness that made one cough up digestive fluids, or how this was even physically possible—but clearly she was distressed, and therefore needed calming before anything could be done to treat her.

Again, it was the least he could do.

[worm-dancer.livejournal.com]

Something had been bothering Sheeana too. Other Memory kept trying to tell her something, but when it did, it was distorted babbling in a language she didn't understand. She felt as if she were forgetting something important, some duty she had to attend to.

It was not a comfortable feeling for a Reverend Mother, used to having perfect recall of her memories.

She'd heard her student cry out, smelled stomach-water being heaved onto the deck in stinky chunks. She hurried to follow her, finding her in Aeneas's arms, obviously distressed.

[kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com]

Distressed was putting it kindly: Katara was a ball of emotions, and she had no idea why. She did feel sick, but it wasn't s sickness just based on the physical body somehow: she felt like she was being torn apart, like there was something aching inside that she couldn't talk about in any coherent words. She was trembling now, and was happy when she felt another presence by her side: it was soft, familiar, and she exhaled, leaning towards the person.

Aeneas. The tears fell more, but she was comforted, and she pressed her cheek against the fur, sobbing softly. She sensed Sheeana there, but she didn't look up. She was a little ashamed her teacher to see her this way, but she couldn't stop.

[enter-aeneas.livejournal.com]

He broke into a deep, rumbling purr, throat vibrating against the back of Katara’s neck as he pulled her closer. The alien’s gaze traveled towards the looming figure of another, one that he didn’t recognize at first until he caught those blue-within-blue irises staring back.

Sheeana. Yes, she was there when—hmm, well he knew she was related to Katara somehow, wasn’t she?—the point being, Katara needed as much help as she could get, and other than what he was doing now Aeneas had absolutely no clue how to handle this. His eyes showed his worry, but otherwise his purr refused to falter.

’Help me.’

[worm-dancer.livejournal.com]

Sheeana responded silently to the silent plea, holding herself aloof. She could comfort Katara in a moment (though Aeneas seemed to have this well in hand), first she had to make sure this wasn't an immediate danger.

Who knew how well this would work on alien physiology...But there was no time to think about it. "What happened?" She said with the full power of the Voice of Command.

[doctor-jeangrey.livejournal.com]

Almost as soon as Jean had heard the young girl's voice, she was at her side. Reaching out, Jean wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders and began to steer her toward one of the beds. She didn't even need to use her telepathy to figure out that Katara was distressed, it was that evident. "What's wrong Katara?" she asked, keeping her voice soft and soothing.

[kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com]

Katara shook her head. She didn't know what was wrong, that was the problem, but she did feel sick, so that at least gave her a reason to be here. It helped that Jean was here, she'd helped her in the past after the Yeerk incident. That was supposed to be a punishment, but Katara had actually found it engaging, and enjoyed watching Jean work.

"I feel sick," Katara murmured, gasping a little. "Like...like something was just pulled right out of me and my body's reacting. I don;t know how to explain it, I just..."

And she gagged here, looking at Jean. "A basin, please."

[doctor-jeangrey.livejournal.com]

Jean's gaze immediately moved around the room, searching for a basin. Last thing she really wanted was to clean up vomit off of herself. The nearest basin was several feet away though, and so Jean concentrated on it and suddenly it quickly shot through the air towards them. Grabbing it, Jean held it out for Katara with one hand and soothed her hair away from her face with another.

"Is this something that happened because of the misson?" Was it possible the Nightmare King was still affecting people? She'd thought he'd been defeated, but without peering into Katara's mind, she was going on what little information she had.

[kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com]

She would normally have been astounded by the basin flying thorough the air, but right now she grabbed at it with relish. As she retched, she started to try and recall bits and pieces of what was taken from her, but it was like running straight into a brick wall. Nothing helped: her meditation failed her and her Bene Gesserit mind training couldn't help either. She had felt like this before, a memory of someone that faded in her head. At that time, she remembered feeling sad and calmly reflecting with Sheeana about what could have happen, like she was being blocked off.

This time, however, it was a feeling of sadness, anger, pain and longing all bundled into one burning feeling she couldn't place. The only thing that could come close to describing it was feeling like memories being ripped out, a memory that was so precious and genuine that even if the mind forgot, the body didn't.

"Jean, please," Katara said, her shoulders locked together. "I know you can see into minds. Please...what is happening to me?"

[doctor-jeangrey.livejournal.com]

Once again Jean soothed Katara's hair away from her face with a compassionate sweep of her hand. She sighed softly, feeling bad for her. "Are you sure you want me to read your mind?" she asked, her eyebrows furrowing a little bit. "It won't hurt, but it can be an invasive process..."

[static-shock68.livejournal.com]

"Hey." was all he said as he came in. "I came as soon as I heard something had happened."

It wasn't quite true.. he'd had a migraine all day, like the ones he got whenever miss martian had tried to probe his mind (it was cool, he'd asked her to). He'd been headed this way anyway to see if they could help at all, but when he heard about her collapse... well, suddenly it was just that much more urgent.

[kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com]

Katara looked up. It was an adult man, one she was sure she had never met before, but there was something very familiar about him. Temporarily forgetting about her weakening limbs, she moved closer, gazing at him intently. When she made the connection, she was definitely shocked.

"Static?! Is that you?"

[static-shock68.livejournal.com]

Static raised an eyebrow at her comment. It took a minute to click; he'd gotten used to his new age, but she hadn't seen it yet. "The one and only. I got aged up by Ben for the whole Nightmare fiasco. My powers are better this way. Haven't gotten around to asking him to fix it yet."

"But, that's not the point. The hell happened to you?"

[kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com]

"You...aged?!" Katara definitely had to remember that she was the one feeling lousy, and a moment later she did when she had to grab frantically for the basin and heaved into it yet again. She moaned, leaning her head against the basin to feel the temporary relief of the cold metal. "It looks good on you," she muttered, "but then I figured you'd make a handsome man anyway."

She lifted her head, backing herself against some pillows. "Sick," she said, "but I feel like its more than that. I feel like I'm losing some memories, like I'm losing a precious part of myself, and I don't know why, but I feel like my body is mourning it."

[static-shock68.livejournal.com]

"Apparently." One word was really all he needed to express it; the evidence was obvious.

"Do you have any clues? Any idea what's missing? I know when I forget something, I just try and piece together a mental map of where I've been and who I was with, see what doesn't fit." His mind may be a mental fortress, but he'd had a little bit of experience with psi stuff before. It was worrying, though... it matched the general feeling of unease he'd had all day. Like he'd accomplished something big and important, but it was gone. Like an erased save game right before the final boss.

[bonnypiperlad]

Jamie figured it was time to go to the medbay and have his leg checked out - just as a precaution. It felt perfectly fine to him, but he didn't particularly want to run the risk of re-injuring it by doing something stupid. He'd never hear the end of it if he did. Hopefully everything was fine, though, and he could simply get through the exam and head back to the City to work on the cleanup.

All thoughts of his leg went out of his head, however, when he saw Katara. Something was clearly not right here, and a worried look appeared on his face. Hurrying his steps, he headed over to see if he could help.

"Katara! Are ye all right?"

[kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com]

In answer, Katara grabbed for the basin and upchucked again, making sure to clean out any excess liquid. She took a labored breath, then looked up. She had been hoping for her brother, wherever he was, but having Jamie here was just as helpful. She hated seeing him so concerned when in the back of her mind she remembered he was probably here because of his leg. She'd been pretty insistent about him getting it treated.

So in typical Katara fashion she ignored her pain and concentrated on his. That, and well, it was a good distraction for her at this moment.

"Y-you're the one with the bad leg, you tell me," Katara said weakly. "Have you been getting treatment on it?"

[bonnypiperlad]

"It's fine. I just was coming down to get it checked out. But, ye know, it can wait a minute." Oh, Jamie knows what you're doing there, Katara. And he's not about to let you get away with that.

He would get her a drink of water, but unfortunately, there doesn't really seem to be any way for him to do that. If she keeps throwing up like that, however, Stacy's likely to stick her with a needle full of fluids. So instead, he moves to sit next to Katara. A little upset stomach isn't going to bother him overly much - he's dealt with worse. He's really not sure, though, why she would be throwing up, unless...?

"Did ye have some bad food from the stores or something?"

[kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com]

"Make sure that you're okay," Katara said, noting things off in her head. "I don't want you to go hurt yourself later. Be careful. And..." She trailed off. It seemed so routine sometimes.

She laughed sadly, smiling. She knew Jamie long enough: he was concerned for her. It made her happy to know that he was watching out for her. It really wasn't like her to show all this weakness, but she could see that some of the men in certain places would go out of their way to protect women. She respected that.

"No," she said. "A bad reaction to being on the ship. I'm missing memories."

[bonnypiperlad]

"Aye, I will," he says gently. "Don't worry about me on that account."

Jamie is wondering if maybe if he rubs her back if it would help at all - once, when Victoria was ill, it seemed to help her. But at Katara's words, he freezes, looking at her with slightly widened eyes. He's suddenly thinking about his experiences with the Nightmare King again, and it's unnerved him more than he thought it would.

He knows it's not the Nightmare King, though. That's over and done with. Still, he's been feeling somewhat out of sorts since, like something's not quite right. With an effort, he swallows and manages to ask, "Did ye say...missing memories?"

[theregularguy.livejournal.com]

Sokka ducked his head into the medbay, glancing around for a moment before his eyes settled on Katara. He hurried across the room towards his sister, skidding to a stop at the sight of the basin and her distressed demeanor.

"Katara, what's wrong? There was a message on the omnicomms..." He frowned, glancing around the room for a minute. He'd been feeling a sense of unease himself, his mind trying to remember that he was missing something, but he wasn't sure what.

[kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com]

Katara shook her head. It felt like whatever this was had gotten worse. The message from...from...from who? Katara closed her eyes, clenching her fists. She understood all too well what was happening and why: she was starting to lose the memories of the people she'd met, but it had never done this to her before. She couldn't even remember who had brought the basin.

"Sokka," she mumbled miserably, "I'm forgetting something but I don't know what it is. You have to be feeling this way too. Why is this happening? What are we forgetting. My chest hurts."

Her heart hurt, but that wouldn't have made sense to Sokka so she left that out.

[theregularguy.livejournal.com]

"I--" Sokka began, opened and closed his mouth faintly. What was he supposed to say? He wrapped an arm around Katara, fumbling for the right words to comfort his sister.

"I don't know. I know what you mean, though. There's something in the back of mind...but I can't make it out." He gritted his teeth. This feeling frustrated him, frustrated him even more because of what it was doing to his sisters.

"I'm here, though. I promise. As long as you need me to be."

[kaya-waterwave.livejournal.com]

Seeing the hesitation confirmed it: he was forgetting just like she was, and she also knew that there was little he could do about it. She didn't like the idea of Sokka feeling helpless, but she also knew there had been no time that he'd seen her like this, that he'd been able to comfort her.

Right now, familial contact was what she needed though, and she hadn't been with Sokka like this in...well, how long had it been?

"I don't know either," she said, "But I feel like my body isn't going to let me forget even if my mind does. I'm sorry for worrying you Sokka, but I didn't know what else to do. I just feel...really heart heavy, you know. I'm really glad you're here."

[theregularguy.livejournal.com]

"You're my little sister. Worrying me is about all that you do." Sokka half-grumbled, giving Katara a tight hug. He didn't like seeing her upset. Especially if there was nothing he could do about it.

"And I'm glad you're here too. I think I'd go nuts without someone from home around this place."