trans_9 | My Lunch Turned Invisible. [ Open ]

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My Lunch Turned Invisible. [ Open ]

Jacen Solo was seated in the mess hall, yes, but did he have some sort of sustenance in front of him to go along with the place he was seated in? No. He was just sitting at a table, staring blankly to the surface with his hands clasped in his lap and eyes faintly glazed over. No matter where he had been since he arrived here, this was usually how he looked. Completely and utterly lost in thought.

Why had he been brought here? And why had he been brought so soon after he fought for the right to finally relax? It was only days after the war with the Yuuzhan Vong ended. Days.

He had been thinking of traveling around the galaxy, maybe making a stop by Hapes to visit an old friend, maybe stopping by Yavin 4 for a quick round of meditation techniques in the now-ruined Jedi Temple, but no. Not anymore. Now Jacen was left to ponder once more. He was here now. He had met new people (which was usually a plus to him) and he had seen his Aunt and Uncle (he still wondered why they were here too -- and why there had been vague sparks of discomfort when he spoke to them) and he had heard other members of his family were here. Why hadn't he found them?

Jacen didn't want to admit that he probably hadn't found them yet because he was too busy sitting around ~~moping~~ brooding.

His stomach growled at him quite loudly but he was too busy listening to the never-ending chatter of his own thoughts. Just like usual.

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"Going to eat something?" Luke asked as he slid into a seat opposite his nephew. There was a little grin on his face. "I could hear that growling stomach from across the ship."

Leaning on his elbows, Luke took the moment to study Jacen. When he was younger, jokes had covered for a deep and thoughtful mind; but he'd always been strong in the Force, the heritage Anakin Skywalker had passed on to his family. Perhaps more than even the Anakin here knew, Luke mused. Much like his grandfather, Jacen had wanted to make the galaxy a safer, better place, and had fallen in pursuit of it.

But here, it was just Jacen sitting before him, thinking and definitely not eating. "Granted," he continued slowly, "The, er, 'food' we get isn't necessarily the most appetizing, but it's nutritious."

He looked up, almost startled, and watched as his Uncle Luke slid into the seat across from him. Jacen felt a tug at his lips and placed his hands on the table, spreading them palms down on the surface where his food should've been. "I should. I haven't eaten anything in... in awhile. M'not surprised you heard my stomach though. I've started ignoring the noises." Jacen let out a tired chuckle.

With a sigh, he looked past Luke and peered around the mess hall. "I haven't had much to eat since I got here." He didn't have to tell his Uncle why, he figured Master Skywalker knew that Jacen had most likely planted himself in different places, watched people and just thought.

"Nutritious is good." Jacen had most likely eaten worse things. He remembered making concoctions out in the jungle of Yavin 4 with the berries and leaves he knew weren't poisonous. Although, just because they weren't poisonous doesn't mean they tasted good. "I guess I should eat something then, huh?"

"Not a bad idea. I was going to get something myself--in fact, hang on just a moment and I'll bring us both some."

He got up and in a minute was back with two trays of the nutritious, filling, completely unappealing glop that passed for food in between rare occasions of stores of the real food being doled out. "Look at it this way," Luke said, snapping off a piece of the tasteless tray and scooping up a bit of the equally tasteless food, "At least we're not all being subjected to Yoda's stews. Sure, that's nutritious too, but I'd take this stuff over that any day."

Jacen stared at it for a few moments before sticking a finger into the sloppy goop and placing it into his mouth. Yep, still the same as it was before. He followed his Uncle's lead and used a piece of the tray to bring the glop to his lips. A chuckle slipped from them between bites.

"Was Yoda's stew really that bad? I mean, at least you were in the presence of a great Jedi Master and you could learn things and hear stories about the old Jedi Order while you ate it. Right?"

"That's true. But that didn't make it taste or smell any better." Luke grinned. "If his lessons and stories were interesting enough--which they almost always were--I could almost forget about that, though. And I was hungry. All the time."

Luke prodded at his food a moment before taking another scoopful. It wasn't unappetizing, and unlike Yoda, Stacy wasn't trying to convince him that she was doing this as a lesson to his taste buds. Still, it made him miss homecooked meals, even the kind of 'homecooked' meals offered up by the Temple's cafeteria.

"How've you been, Jacen?" Luke asked at last. "It's a lot to take in, isn't it?"

"Ha, yeah. That's probably an understatement. It's more than a lot to take in. And we've been through a lot as it is..." He continued to eat, hoping his stomach would finally quiet down within the next few minutes. He had to admit that as he was eating, he began to feel a little better -- more cognizant.

"I've been okay. Still getting used to this. I saw Aunt Mara. Still haven't seen Jaina or the others you mentioned though."

"Jaina hasn't found you yet?" Luke's brows knit for a moment before smoothing out. "She will soon. And if she doesn't, I'd bet you that she's down in the hangar working on her X-Wing. I don't know if Wedge has cornered you yet to try and recruit you, but we found a full squadron of X-Wings down there, and he's reviving the Rogues. So far we have those with piloting skill who have volunteered, but I bet he'd be happy to have more experienced pilots on board."

He didn't pause while living another scoopful of gloop to his mouth at Jacen's mention of running into Mara, but his attention did shift. Knowing now that she'd die at Jacen's hand, he had to wonder how that meeting had gone. Luke imagined it was just as awkward as when he'd told her.

Arha had gotten a hold of this...hot choc-o-late. Two mugs of it. And she could tell from the way Jacen was sitting and through the Force that he was having a hot choc-o-late moment. Determinedly, she moved her way toward him and set the mug down in front of him and sat across from him, her blue-within-blue eyes bright.

"You look like you need another hug, Jacen," she murmured, her smile soft. "What troubles you?"

Jacen's eyes widened and a smile crossed his face as Arha seated herself across from him. He could tell what was in that mug just from the scent and he nodded to her in thanks before wrapping his hands around the drink and pulling it towards him.

"I could use one." Jacen could always use hugs. He was a fan of hugs. "And I don't really know, I've just been thinking too much. Family, friends, this place. I don't get it. Why I'm here, what I'm supposed to be doing..."

He stopped his ramble and took a sip of the drink she had brought him. It was a little too hot, but the pain in his mouth let him know that he was still feeling things. That was always a good thing.

Arha studied him for a long, long moment, listening to his words, watching his face, his body posture, letting cues spoken and unspoken inform her as much as the Force was. She rose after he finished his sip and sat beside him for a moment before pulling him into a proper hug. It was warm, desert warm, and full of comfort, like the chocolate.

She kissed him on the temple and ruffled his hair affectionately before pulling away.

"You are here because only you may do a thing in this fight," Arha said, cupping his cheeks with her warm hands. "And because you are needed, Jacen Solo. You are not alone in your confusion nor in your wondering. Patience, mm? This thing you must have. And you must not over-think, for when you think too long and too hard upon something, your mind frays trying to find all possible answers. You grow anxious, perhaps hyper-vigilant. In this manner comes overreaction, which spurs disaster, and pain and sorrow. Just breathe and be open. Do not make yourself stiff and unyielding or you shall splinter when you must flow."

His smile grew and he let go of the drink, returning the hug. He was very pleased to find that there were people here who still remembered how to show affection. He was worried that the beings around him would start losing themselves, much like he had seen on Yuuzhan'tar with captives he had come across.

"So I'm here because I have a use? A reason? I didn't just get brought here for the fun of it?" He had found it a little difficult to believe at this moment since most of what he had done consisted of sitting around and stewing. No one had told him anything, he hadn't been informed of anything. He was just stolen from his bed and woke up in a pod.

He nodded at her words. "I'll be patient. And I'll maybe relax a bit. Maybe." That was a big maybe, since his mind was always spinning around something. "Thank you. There are so many people here but it's been so easy to just feel alone. You've been a great help to me."

"You haven't seen it yet," Arha said softly. "The reason why you're here." Her warm hand found one of his and closed over it, enveloping it, the contact nearly hot, and her eyes were startling with their intensity. "I guess, like any of us, that reason will make itself clear."

She blinked once and a smile lit her face.

"I am pleased to be of help," she said, squeezing his hand gently. Arha almost hugged him again. Almost. The warmth of her hands did that, surrounded him, and her smile said you are not alone. Because he wasn't. She studied him for a long moment. "Perhaps I am here for you, so that you do not sit in the dark and think too much. So that you are not alone."

The grin that was on his face stayed put as she spoke and he squeezed her hand back. "I think this place will be a little easier ot manage as long as you're around -- and people as kind as you are. Is everyone here like this?"

He kind of hoped all the people he hadn't met yet were as caring as Arha (even though he knew they weren't; the galaxy wasn't that lucky), because he knew that would make whatever reason he was brought here worth it. Back in his own time and place he fought for people like Arha. He wanted the galaxy to be safe for people as bright and gentle as her.

"There are many like myself, though you must dig a little more to find it in others. Most people do not wear their kindness nor their joy on their sleeves, so to speak," Arha said, her eyes bright with humor that nearly rolled off her like a thick fog. "I hope to be around for quite awhile, such is part of why I am here, I think. I was drawn to and by the Force for a reason and it is something that will continually astonish me at every turn. But I know one thing for certain, that I am to be Jed-Eye to help others in whatever way I am able to do so--be it as a healer or as a fighter."

Sheeana hated being dependent on the Thinking Machine for sustenance but among her growing list of duties there was no room for farming. She too was frowning, but at the slop she actually would eat.

That's when she felt the tingling at the skin of her left arm that let her know a Je'dai was nearby. It was a buzz, like standing too close to a generator, or the feel of the air as shai-halud bored the sands.

She spotted one of the twins Luq Skaiuaker had told her of, head downcast and staring at the bony table. It was as if he thought he could summon a gourmet slig stew by staring at it long enough.

She studied him subtly, glances that became mental snapshots: A strong jaw, sharp features but hair shaggy and unkempt as if the owner cared very little. A dusting of stubble to support that idea. Eyes unfocused, because the thoughts were elsewhere.

"It will never get any better tasting, unless you wish to fool yourself in the sensoriums." She said, approaching him with a Reverend Mother's poise.

Turning at the sound of the new voice, Jacen felt his lips upturn at the comment. It was definitely true, while he hadn't had much to eat since he got here, what he had eaten hadn't been that great. It had been filling, but a bit bland.

"Yeah, I figured it wouldn't get any better. I guess I need to eat though. My stomach is really protesting these random bouts of deep thought that I've been having."

"I can make you drink it if you want." She grinned devilishly, half joking. "You're a Je'dai, aren't you?" Of course she knew, Luq Skai'uaker having told her before, but she wanted to see how he'd react.

Jacen felt himself swallow a mouthful of dry air at her first statement and shifted directly to the question, wondering how all these people seemed to know about the Jedi. And how he was one.

"I am. My name is Jacen Solo." He stuck his hand out, his lips still holding a faint smile. He had tried not to let his mild shock at the sudden question show.

"I am Sheeana, of the Bene Gesserit." She said and gave him a bow. The black robe might have made her look a bit like a Jedi herself, a bit of literal foreshadowing with the way it seemed to drink light. "Your uncle told me about you two and you all come with a...feeling. A kind of tingling." Turnabout for the way Luke had told her he saw Reverend Mothers as 'like a cluster of stars seen from far away' in the Force. "Do you prefer to eat alone?" An honest question, free of social obligation.

"It's nice to meet you, Sheeana." He bowed his head slightly, almost wanting to stand and bow in a return formality. He didn't though, he didn't want to seem rude or make her feel uncomfortable. Plus, he was weaker than he usually felt. Most likely from the lack of food.

"You could definitely describe it like that, yes." He nodded, remembering how his Uncle used to describe it to them when they were younger. Like that, in basic terms so they knew that what they were feeling wasn't unnatural.

"Oh no, please, have a seat." He motioned to the seats around him. "When I'm alone I usually think too much and get nothing done."

Sheeana slid in across from him and requested a bowl of slop, happily extruded from a nearby tentacle.

"Many things we do naturally become difficult only when we try to make them intellectual subjects. It is possible to know so much about a subject that you become ignorant." The quote was from the Mentat Handbook and a favorite of Duncan's. Perhaps it would help him in his intellectual loop. "I don't know if your uncle or Ohbi Uan Qehnobi told you, but there are many similarities between our orders."

She ate with efficiency, using Prana Bindu to force herself to swallow.

He thought about what she had said, nodding slowly and pondering the words. They made sense -- a lot of sense, especially to Jacen. He watched her retrieve the bowl and felt his eyebrows raise at her next words. "I haven't met Master Kenobi here yet, but I am very interested to hear about your order."

Jacen was always interested in learning new things, especially about other ways of life and orders of people.

Sheeana took it as a challenge to be concise, compressing thousands of years of Bene Gesserit history down to the most essential parts.

"We are one of the oldest of the schools founded in the wake of the Butlerian Jihad. With thinking machines gone from our universe, it was imperative that humanity be able to not just survive but mature as a species without them. That was and is our mission: to create a humanity that is mature, no longer manipulated by demagogues, afraid of their own natures, or imprisoned in the patterns of rigid, black and white thinking. "

She drank with a thoroughness unseen in those who hadn't grown up with the moisture discipline of the desert.

"The masses, however, usually think of us for what it is we outwardly do, rather than our inward goals, the things we teach our students. And there is much we teach too: Prana Bindu which is the art of total bodily control down to the cellular level, the Voice of Command, the Weirding Way of battle, the arts of manipulating individuals and changing societies...Some of us, through judicious application of Spice Melange and Prana Bindu, open up the gates to Other Memory. Those of us who do are called Reverend Mothers. A Reverend Mother has access not just to the standard Bene Gesserit skills, but also Other Memory...That is, the complete memory-lives of all our female ancestors and whichever Reverend Mothers have Shared with us before we died."

A beat and she studied his face for signs of an overload of information.

"Was that too much?"

He sat silently, watching Sheeana as she spoke and compared the two in his head. Just about everything she was going over, Jacen could find a link to the Jedi Order somehow. She wasn't overloading him with information, but he was getting overloaded with his own questions. He had the urge to go find these schools and people and learn from them.

Of course, now that he seemed to be stuck here, he knew that it wouldn't be happening. He didn't even know where most of these people and beings had come from, he had never heard of their homeworlds.

"No, no. Definitely not too much. Just enough to make me even more curious." Jacen brushed his hair out of his face and leaned forward. "How much did my Uncle tell you about the Jedi?"

"Enough to take the edge off my curiosity...but not enough to satisfy me." She didn't mean it to come out that way. OK, maybe a little. But she wasn't seriously hitting on him, more leaving him little hooks he could snag onto if he wished. "I know the external details, manipulation of the force, fighting with the lightsaber. I know less of the esoteric things, the central philosophy. You have the overarching goal of doing good for your universe as a whole, but I mostly haven't been told what that entails or the finer points of your philosophy." For instance, she had no idea if the Je'dai had ever had an equivalent to the Jessica conflict, the Honored Matre invasion or Darwi's heresy.

"The thing with the philosophy of our Order is that it seems different to each person who is a part of it. They each look at it differently and use their skills in different fashions."

The old Order, from what he learned when he was little, wasn't really like that. Everyone was taught the same thing and learned the same skills. This was one of the reasons Jacen wanted to meet Obi-Wan Kenobi. He wanted to learn more about the old Jedi Order from someone who was there. Where he came from though, every Jedi he knew seemed to be a part of the Order for the same reason, but had different ways of achieveing their goals. They all honed different skills and looked at the Force with different eyes and different minds. Jacen knew this firsthand from the arguments he had with his own brother, Anakin, over reasons to use the Force.

"If I was to share the finer points of the philosophy of the Jedi Order, I'd technically be telling you my opinion on the finer points of the philosophy of the Jedi Order." Jacen smiled and tilted his neck, an audible crack sounding.

A stress crack. Early onset arthritis if he keeps this up. She thought. "I know pressure points that could be helpful for that..." Sheeana offered. "But alright, you have a point. Tell me your opinion. In the end that's all any of us can give. Even a Reverend Mother can do no more than try to divine truth from a multitude of opinions."

"For what?" He hesitated for a moment before realizing what she was speaking of. "Oh," he said, pointing to his neck. "Yeah, I need to do something about that. I always figured I just got creaky joints from my dad though. You could always tell when he was coming down the hallway at the apartment when I was little. His knee cracks."

Jacen stared at the table for a few moments before inhaling deeply and looking back to Sheeana.

"My opinion?" He knew if he started rambling that he wouldn't stop, and this was a topic he could definitely talk (and talk and talk) about. "My stance on our Order and what we do with the Force usually concerns one's inner peace and strength and what they think is right. My brother always thought we should seek out problems and force ourselves in to fix them because we were given access to this 'power' -- I always felt that when an injustice showed itself, we help to fix it. Very recently, before..." He waved his hand around to the mess hall, "...all this, I decided that when injustices showed themselves, I had to choose and act right then and there, I could never sit and think on it... which is what I was usually good at."

He shrugged, knowing he had rambled when he didn't mean to.

"I guess my philosophy concerning our Order and our power is basically that we should use them only when needed to keep things peaceful and settled. We don't force our way into anything and help when help is truly needed. I always act at the first sign of a wrongdoing though. I've always been the peacekeeper in the family." Jacen felt a weak grin forming as his mind went back to the rest of the Solo clan.

Sheeana stood and crossed over to him. If he acceded, he'd feel her fingertips press spots on the back of his neck and shoulders which would make the muscles release their tension immediately. It was a good thing she liked to listen to philosophy as much as she liked to expound on it.
"What we must strive for always! is to find the natural flow and go with it." Sheeana quoted Taraza, the Mother Superior before her own predecessor. "But is keeping things peaceful and ordered always the best idea though? Do humans progress as a species fastest when they are secure or when in crisis? We have a saying where I come from: Beware the safe path. Follow it and it will lead you to stagnation." Leto the Tyrant had shown her universe that lesson by example.

Holding a tray of the unappetizing food in her hands, Inara glazed down at the young man who seemed to be lost in his thoughts. Though the sound of his stomach growling, caused her lips to twitch in amusement. "Your stomach seems to be trying to gain your attention," she said softly before motioning to the spot beside him with a nod of her chin. "Do you mind if I join you?"

A lopsided grin crept across his lips as he looked up, shrugging slightly. "Yeah, it's been doing that for awhile now I've been too distracted to get it to be quiet."

He took his hands from his lap and held them out, palms up, towards the seat next to him. "And no, please, be my guest. Talking will help drown out the noise my stomach is making."

Inara smiled softly at the man and carefully took the seat next to him. "Or you could try to eat something. That could help a little with the noise," she suggested and pushed her tray toward him. "Go ahead. It's not the best tasting gourmet, but it's something."

"It could, definitely." He gently dipped a couple fingers into the glop on the tray and brought it to his lips. It tasted the same as it did the last time he had it, bland and slimy. But he knew it would quiet his stomach and help him get some of his strength back. He hadn't felt like his usual self since he arrived.

Holding his dry hand out, he smiled. "I'm Jacen."

"One would think that a ship which was able to pull us all from different worlds would be able to provide substance that actually tasted good," Inara observed with a wry smile. "Though I suppose something is better than nothing, isn't it?"

Her smile brightened and she reached over and shook his hand. "It's nice to meet you, Jacen. I'm Inara."

"It is definitely better than nothing," he agreed, nodding. It was at that point he realized that as unappetizing as the food was, he needed to eat something so that he wouldn't grow more weak than he felt.

"It's nice to meet you, too. How long have you been here?"

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My Lunch Turned Invisible. [ Open ]

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