Julian Keller (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
telekinetic_badass) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
trans_92010-02-13 12:05 am
telekinetic_badass) wrote in trans_92010-02-13 12:05 am
Entry tags:
Memories Left Abandoned [Open]
After his confrontation with Sofia, Julian wandered around for a while. He didn't really pay attention to where he was going, and in his travels, he wandered into the area of the city that contained several ruins. He didn't really pay them any mind, at least until he stumbled across one that he recognized.
The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning.
Even as it was, he'd recognize the place. It was his home, once. But like most everything else in his life that he thought he could count on forever, it was reduced to nothing more than ashes and rubble.
For a moment, he wondered if this was the Nightmare King's doing, but he knew the truth. He knew exactly who he was and where he was. He scoffed at the bitter irony of the situation.
"Who needs nightmares when this is your life?"
The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning.
Even as it was, he'd recognize the place. It was his home, once. But like most everything else in his life that he thought he could count on forever, it was reduced to nothing more than ashes and rubble.
For a moment, he wondered if this was the Nightmare King's doing, but he knew the truth. He knew exactly who he was and where he was. He scoffed at the bitter irony of the situation.
"Who needs nightmares when this is your life?"
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Well, duh, Kon.
"I like the simple ones. That don't do the girly games that much. That's how Cassie is. Very tooo the point. Most'a the time. I only have to play twenty questions sometimes. Rest'a the time, she's just a pound and a half of the tail whup, and smart, and drags me to bed by my hair."
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"Sofia was... complicated. But beautiful. Latina, smokin hot, and oh my god she could move." He had to admire the way she could dance.
"But things kept being complicated. Then she left. Now she's here.
"Why can't women just be simple?"
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He hums out happily, "I looooove my girlfriend."
Then he goes on, "But before her, I had some--some really complicated girls as girlfriends. I mean, Totally complicated. Like...well, okay, Goldie and Bliss, they weren't complicated. They were room-mates. That enjoyed making out in front of guys. Heh."
He goes on. "But y'know, nothing there but funtimes. And then the others were complicated. Like--like, I don't know what the hell Bianca was. Wanted me, didn't want me--no freakin' clue. She was, like, a normal girl? You know? Not a super? And kinda bitchy. I didn't really get her at all, but she was interesting. ...And confusing. And there was Trixie. Hooooo boy. She was mixed up with some bad stuff, and I still don't know what her deal was."
He frowns. "And then there was Knockout, whooo did some hard time in the Ingersol Incarcerrrtion unit."
Clearly, he had a thing for bad girls for a time.
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"There was this one girl, Laura. She was... let's just say she had been through a lot. She was messed up, bad. And had a crush on me. She was cute, but scared the crap outta me. I kept thinking I'd wake up one day with a dead animal in my bed, or something." Which wasn't out of the realm of possibility when it came to X-23.
"I like Kara," he stated. "I really like her. But she keeps disappearing.
"Cissie is cute, though."
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He goes on.
"I never had to deal with that. Like Kal and her, 'cause of the clone thing. I get the heritage but none of the baggage. Thass'why I tend to think more--uh--human-ey. I guess. Kal does this loner-loner thing and Kara does, too. Aliens, y'know? All-alien, have to--have to make ties with this other world--Kal grew up there, so it's easier for him. Harder for Kara."
He goes on, "But she's good people. She really likes you, you know. She just-- it's kin'a something we all do. Go all aloof when we need to think about sommat. Us supers. Pisses Cassie off like anything, she always wants to be there for me--and it's usually better when I let her in. I'm the best at it, I think, at letting other people in, and I suck at it sometimes--but like I said, m' half and half, cloned on Earth, pop culture dumped in my head--I feel like I belong with humans even if I'm different. Never felt like an oddball, always just felt special. Sometimes--I think Kara feels like she's alone in a crowd, y'know? None of her own kind. Jus' me and I hardly know jack-all about Krypton, other than what she and Kal have told me. Don't take her disappearing as--as a thing or anything. It's just how she deals."
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"She's kinda like me that way. Homes are gone, family is gone. Gotta deal with symbols and legacies that we don't even know the meaning of anymore."
He reached up, and after blindly feeling around a bit, he grabbed a bottle of bloodwine. He opened it up and took a swig, then passed it to Kon.
"She's happy here," he mentioned. "She likes it because not everyone expects her to be like Superman, or something. I guess he's a big deal on your world?"
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"Less'juss' say that most times when I save someone, instead of 'thanks' the firs' thing that comes out of their mouths is 'You're not Superman.' He's the best of the best, he's--he's the one everyone looks to, the one everyone trusts, the one you know will always be there when you need 'im, and kick 'imself forever if he isn't, that'll always stand up again when he's knocked down and you need him to. He's saved the world--and each of us, time and time and again. Never thinks of himself, always thinks of other people. Always."
He shrugs.
"It isn't that we're bad at it--iss'jus' he's that good."
He goes on, "An' he's so good to us, we can't even be bitter at him for it. He takes care 'a us. He believes in us. He thinks--sometimes, he looks at us like--like people look at him. Thas' jus' how Kal is. But other people aren't Kal. They look at me, they look at Kara, and they're always measuring up, comparing. He made the 'S' mean something, an', an' he let us wear it 'cuz...'cuz he thinks we deserve it, that we're good enough to wear it--but other people see it and think we come up short."
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"X-Men don't really do legacy. Not like that." Not like the Avenger knock-offs, anyway.
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He tries to sit up a little straighter, wobbly, and jerks a thumb towards his chest--he's wearing a t-shirt, but that's where the S usually is.
"But what the 'S' comes with... he believes in me. He believes in her. And when someone like Kal believes in you, s'hard not to believe in yourself, too. He made it mean something, and thinks we deserve to wear it. He gave us--he gave us family. Him, the parents that raised him on Earth. I live with his paren's--even most--most of the other heroes don't know his secret ID, he's super protective of them, but he let me live there, gave me a home so I didn't keep stumblin' from place t'place."
He slurs on, "An' I... I was created to hurt him. To be...something he cared about to hurt him. He still cares anyway, knowing that. A bilogical machine s'what I am. A puppet. A robot...person. And that man--he gave me my names. All three of them. Big Blue's the freakin' Blue Fairy--first one to treat genetically-engineered Pinocchio like a real boy. Never stopped even when everyone could see the strings and wanted t'lock me away. 'For my own good,' they said, an' they were right. Ma said no, he said no, and after STAR labs fixed up my head as bes' they could, he jus' took me home and tol' me--he tol' me it wasn't my fault. He tol' me I was still good."
Kon steals the bottle and takes another long swig.
"I miss him. I miss Ma and Pa, too."