trans_9 | Pebble For Your Thoughts? [Open]

Kelly was in the sensoriums again. This time, not to train or run battle simulations, but to let her frustrations out. The room had morphed into what would, under normal circumstances, have been a peaceful panorama. A large lake took up the center of a clearing in a forest. A stream fed it at one end, with others flowing out from all around the vaguely oval shaped body of water. Kelly remembered coming here as a child on Reach. They hadn't had much time to simply enjoy themselves back then, but she'd always wanted to go back. It had looked like such a serene spot. That was, before the Covenant had glassed the planet. This room was probably the only place the lake even existed anymore.

At the edge of the lake, was an old, tin sign that warned any potential swimmers of the dangerous undercurrents that had swept several unwary soldiers on rec time to their deaths. Kelly wasn't here to swim though. Standing on the pebbly shore, the water lapping at her bare feet, she had a handful of stones and was skipping them (with far more force than necessary) across the water. She'd always been a dead shot with a weapon, but then, that could have been said of any of her brothers and sisters. Brothers and sisters who were all dead now. Those who the Covenant hadn't gotten to, wiped out by those bastards the Ohm. All except John. But it wasn't as if the Chief was around, even when Stacy wasn't sending him on secret missions. She didn't mind it, he had to do what he had to do. She understood. Lately though, the dreams, no, the nightmares she'd been having. They made her want...someone around. John had been one of the pillars of her life for as long as she could remember.

Now though, she had found new comrades on the ship. People she cared about, people she would have laid down her life to protect. Sherry, Brenda, Katara, Sokka, Lafiel. Lafiel. The little Abh was one of the first she'd met on the ship, one of the ones she would admit that she cared about probably more than was advisable. But she hadn't been able to protect her, had she? The Empress had been hit in the face, and what had the big strong Spartan done? Nothing except sputter. She didn't even know who the culprit was. She hated feeling useless, redundant, helpless. And the whole situation with the Nightmare King made her feel so. How could she fight what she couldn't even touch. Someone who could hurt her in her dreams. How could she protect anyone? Spartans never failed, but hadn't she failed?

Hefting another rock, she threw it again, drowning out the thoughts with action. Gritting her teeth, she hefted another rock and this time, turned and threw it at the sign. The pebble hit the metal with a loud crash, breaking into a million tiny fragments. Dropping the pebbles that remained in her hand, she stepped back and sat down on the shore, curling her legs up in front of her and wrapping her arms around them as the weather shifted. It seemed to reflect her mood, the sky turned dark, and a cold wind swept across the water. She stared out moodily over the vaguely shimmering liquid.

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"Yeah. Yeah I kinda do, Kelly." Sokka looked down at her, rubbing under one eye. He's got some dark circles there himself, suffering from a lack of sound sleep himself. Like everybody else.

"They're bad, okay? I know. But...you need to try and get some rest. Even if it's just a half-hour of sleep once in a while."

Edited 2010-02-05 18:51 (UTC)

Well, that made sense. Everyone was having nightmares. She knew that. So why was she being so...stand offish? She had seen the rings under his eyes after all, she knew he was probably fighting sleep as well. But then, if he wasn't sleeping either, why was he telling her to? That didn't seem...fair.

"You're not sleeping," she pointed out. Though her tone was mildly accusatory, maybe even a little petulant. It was off behaviour for her. But she was tired. Not just physically either. That didn't mean she was going to rest just because he said so though. That would have been the same as admitting that he knew better than her. Something she wasn't about to accept anytime soon.

"I try. The nightmares usually wake me up." See. He totally sleeps, Kelly. Just not very well. Besides, he's concerned for you, so he's allowed to be a little hypocritical. He gave her a mild punch in the shoulder, frowning.

"Try. 20 minutes of interrupted sleep is better than no sleep, Kelly." He nudged her again.

"You're gonna burn yourself out, even with your super-soldier stuff, at this rate. And that won't help..." He stifled a yawn. "...Help anyone."

"Lucky. I don't wake from mine until whoever is pulling the strings decides they're over." Last time she'd slept, she saw you dead, Sokka. She was also nearly ripped to pieces by a monster version of HAL9000 and saved by a member of an alien race that she hated with a passion. So she was understandably hesitant about trying that again.

"I'm fine. I've gone without sleep before. I'll survive until we take the guy down. Then I'll sleep for a week if that'll make you happy."

"...You're persistent aren't you? Stop fussing over me, Sokka. I'm a big girl."

"So is my sister, but that doesn't stop me from worrying about her either." He smirked, crossing his arms. He knows all about stubborn girls. Most of the women in his life are like that, actually. Katara, Toph, Suki, Mai. Mmyep.

Behind her curtain of hair, she glared out across the lake. She didn't like being worried about. She didn't need to be worried about. She was the strong one. "Well you don't need to worry about me, alright?" Her tone came out harsher than she'd meant it to, she hadn't meant to snap at him. Another byproduct of her frayed nerves.

She hugged her knees tighter, trying to burrow a little lower down behind them. "Sorry."

"It's okay to have people care about you, Kelly." Sokka murmured, looking out over the lake as well. He squeezed her shoulder.

"I worry about you because I care about you. You're my friend. I want you to be safe." He smiled in what hoped was a reassuring manner. "It's fine."

Sighing, she ran a hand across the back of her neck. "It's not something I'm used to. I'm not generally the one who needs taking care of." She paused for a moment. "Back in my world. There was nothing I was afraid of, nothing I couldn't face. But this," she swept an arm around the imaginary scenery, obviously indicating more than that, "is so much bigger than me."

She shrugged. "There are people who can do things I never dreamed of doing. I'm a soldier, I was bred to fight. But here...I'm redundant." That got a short, sharp laugh. "My whole life has been war. One battle after the next. I didn't get much downtime. Here, there's nothing to do. No one to fight. And I don't know who I'm supposed to be. I was never a part of life outside of war. And now that I am...I don't know what to do."

Tilting her head, she looked up at him, her expression was placid, as always, but there was turmoil in her eyes. "You understand?"

"I understand. Kind of." Sokka slumped to the ground next to Kelly, tracing a finger through the sand as he gathered his thoughts, tried to put them into words that would make sense. It's not that easy to do, really.

"At home...at home I was smart. I planned things, invented things nobody had ever thought of. I was a planner, a strategist, the idea guy. Here? I might as well be a rock for all the good that does me. They have so many people here who are smarter or faster or stronger or just plain better at this stuff than me, I don't know what to do with myself. So yeah. I understand..." He met her gaze, then reached over to lay his hand on hers, almost without thinking. He didn't even seem to notice what he'd done.

"It's weird. You think you have everything figured out and then you wake up naked and covered in slime."

Picking up a rock, the threw it in a high arc into the water, not bothering to watch where it splashed in. Really, all she wanted at the moment was to crawl into her bed and sleep for...as long as she could.

She had a response to his words. She really did. She'd had something in mind to say to him to identify. But the moment he touched her hand, all that went away. Alarm bells seemed to go off and she quickly pulled her hand back from under his. Her eyes jerked up to his face for a moment before looking away, embarrassed. She hadn't been expecting that, obviously that wasn't the best way to react. When she spoke again, he voice was quiet.

"Sorry... I'm not used to... being touched." She sighed, curling closer to herself.

Pebble For Your Thoughts? [Open]

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